A/N Hey guys! I'm working really hard on this still. My family is having an emergency so it might be a couple weeks before another chapter is posted, but I'll still try! Let me know how you like my chapter!

Chapter 5

Natsu yawned and wiped away his tiredness from his eyes. He stood at the helm and glared into the rising sun; he was exhausted, as he had spent the entire night listening to Gray and Lucy talk it out. Natsu rested his head against the steering wheel and let the cold of the wood cool down his head, relieving the pain his eyes were feeling.

Those two really need to figure out how to move past the…past.

But Natsu was too tired to talk or even think about it now. He had to wait above deck for his crew, who would be there momentarily. Natsu lifted and shook his head, trying to wake himself up—but it was of no use.

Sigh…maybe I should go wash my face.

Natsu started to move towards the direction of the helm and Captain's quarters so he could use his washroom, when he had to stop.

Lucy is still in there…should I bother her? She had an awful night and perhaps she's asleep, but we have to talk.

Natsu quietly and carefully stepped off the helm and walked over to his door. He leaned forward and placed his ear to the door, silently listening for any noise from behind the door; he couldn't hear anything. All that was coming from the other side was silence. Natsu gave a sigh of relief as he pulled out his key from his pocket and unlocked the door. He slowly opened it, careful to peek inside first. It was dark; the blinds that covered the windows in the back of the cabin were drawn shut—no movement came from within. Natsu raised an eyebrow, he couldn't see Lucy. Natsu stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

"Lucy, are you in here?" He asked.

Natsu didn't see any movement in the cabin.

Maybe she went on deck? No, that's not possible, I would have seen her. Maybe she's talking with Gray below deck…

Natsu scratched the back of his head, remembering what had happened last night. Gray had come forward and told the truth about why he left the castle and why he couldn't be with her now. Natsu remembered the pain on Lucy's face and the betrayal she had felt.


Last night

Gray was standing outside the door to his captain's room with his hand raised, but frozen, trying to knock on the door. Sweat dribbled down his neck into his white linen shirt.

Damn It, Gray! You can do this! You owe this much to her; you have to tell her what happened.

Gray paced three firm knocks onto the door hoping that Natsu had lied, and Lucy really wasn't on the ship. Almost immediately, after the last knock, the door opened. Natsu had been the one to answer.

"Took you long enough to get dressed! Now get in here and make this conversation quick, we all need some sleep before the sun rises!" Natsu barked.

Gray just glared at him as he walked passed, but he froze solid as soon as he saw who was sitting on his captain's cot. It was Lucy; she looked exactly like he remembered. She was beautiful but strong; her brown piercing eyes looked straight through to your soul. Seeing Lucy made old memories and feelings rush back to him.

Natsu cleared his throat, bringing Gray back from whatever planet he was on.

"Uhh…pardon me, Captain… I spaced out." Gray stammered.

Natsu rolled his eyes as he opened the door and stepped out to give them some space and time.

"I'm going to be back in half an hour, so make this quick, Gray." The Captain said, as he closed the door.

Gray watched as his captain left the room, he then turned his attention over to Lucy. He walked over to the desk and grabbed the chair that had been sitting there. He slid it against the wood floor, and placed it so that it was directly in front of Lucy before he took his seat. Gray looked up at Lucy; her face seemed to be permanently fixed with a look of shock. The two sat in awkward silence for a while, until Lucy broke it.

"… Uhh, Hey, Gray. It's been awhile… how…"

Gray lifted his hand to silence her and closed his eyes. Lucy closed her mouth instantly and waited for Gray to speak. Gray slowly opened his eyes. His face looked hurt and his eyes looked sad. Gray leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, as his hands were clasped in front of him.

"Princess…" He began, "There's some things you need to hear."

Lucy cocked her head to the side, but said nothing. She just waited for Gray to continue.

"To begin, I'll tell you the real reason why I was sent away from the palace. In truth I was never sent away… I left."

Lucy's eyes grew wide as he continued.

"I left the palace of my own conviction. As you know, I had been learning ice magic at the palace from my master, Ur. What you may not know is the reason why I decided to learn magic."

Lucy was doing her best to keep up with his story, her mind trying to grasp what he was saying.

"My hometown was destroyed when I was little, by the Royal Army. We lived on the border with another country, and when your father's troops ran through the city, they killed everyone. The only ones to survive the attack were my father and I."

Lucy's eyes filled with tears at the story that he was telling. Her own father had caused so much pain for everyone.

"So when the army found us, they gave us two choices. One, be killed now. Or two, join the army—the both of us. So my father and I took the latter of the two. We joined the Royal Army and Guard to survive. However, one day the troops were given the option to learn magic from the teachers that the palace had hired. One of them was Ur. She noticed my promise right away and taught me magic. The only reason I had agreed was because one day I wanted to come back and destroy the Royal Family…who had destroyed mine."

Gray looked away from Lucy, ashamed of what he was telling her. He gritted his teeth and put a hand over his face as he leaned back in the chair. He let his hand drop to his side as he stared at the ceiling.

"I'm so sorry, Lucy…"

Lucy opened her mouth to respond, but was once again stopped by Gray.

"Please…" he pleaded. "Wait until I'm finished…"

Lucy nodded at him, as she curled her knees into her chest.

"So, when they made me your Guard, I only agreed because I wanted to get close enough to… kill you…" As the words came from Gray's mouth, his face looked more and more pained. He felt as though the words were poison that was sucking his life away from him slowly.

"I hate myself for even thinking or planning that now, because from the moment we met, I knew you were just like me, and yet, I still planned this regardless."

Gray paused for a minute to gather his thoughts. His face grew softer and sadder.

"While we were growing up together, I found myself falling for you and those thoughts scared me. Then, the day we kissed…" He stopped and looked at Lucy in the eyes. She looked back at Gray, her heart beating so loud that she felt like it was going to jump out of her chest and burst.

"I knew I loved you" He finished.

He stopped and allowed some time for Lucy to understand.

"That's why I had to leave. I left so that I could increase my magic power and also because I was too ashamed of myself to be around you. You deserved better and you needed better than me. So when the next deployment came, I entered my name for it and was sent out with the army. From there, it was easy. I faked my own death so that the army and my father wouldn't look for me. But, it was also so that you would be free from me, so that you wouldn't remain tethered to your love for someone who tried to kill you…"

Lucy's head was hidden in her knees while she thought about Gray and what he was telling her. Gray reached forward and placed his hand on her head. Lucy's head snapped up, surprised at the physical contact that she wasn't expecting.

Gray quickly retracted his hand and lowered his arm. He looked away from her, ashamed of himself. Lucy watched him as he fought with himself. She didn't know how to feel, she didn't know how to react. Finally, she just asked him a question.

"Do… do you still… love me?"

Gray's eyes found hers. He thought about the question for a while and thought about the words he should use, so that he would accurately portray his feelings. Meanwhile, Lucy's heart was racing waiting for him to answer, and dreading the response she knew she couldn't handle.

"Not… in the same way." He said, somberly.

Lucy's stomach fell. She almost didn't care about what else he had to say. She wrapped a blanket from the cot around herself as she felt the dam inside of her break. The tears were coming, and they were coming hard. She didn't want Gray to see her like this, more than anything else. She forced herself to be strong. She glared into the floor and bit down hard on her tongue, forcing herself to pull it together.

"Natsu doesn't know anything about this; he wanted me to tell you about… Juvia…"

If she felt like breaking before, it was nothing compared to how she felt after hearing a girl's name.

"We met about the time I left the palace… so, about oh geez, five years ago. I'll skip the details, but the gist of it is this, I'm asking her to marry me two months from now. I love her and we're very happy together…"

If Gray was still talking, Lucy couldn't hear. All she could hear was her own heartbeat and her mind was racing, not being able to keep up with what was going on around her. She didn't know how much time had passed when she saw Gray get up to leave. Lucy just watched him walk over to the door. He gave her a half-hearted smile before leaving.

That was it, her emotions poured out of her as she clutched the blanket around her. She held on tight, as her tears swept her away into sleep.


Natsu leaned against his door and sighed. Gray had told him the whole thing after he left the room and told him to give her some space. This was why Natsu had stayed on deck all night, not sleeping. Natsu cursed Gray silently as walked over to his wash room and opened the door, only to run head first into Lucy.

"Gaaah!" they both cried in unison.

Natsu stumbled backwards a few steps. When he had composed himself, he looked up to find Lucy crumpled on the ground. He walked over to her and reached out his arm to help her up. She looked up at him and Natsu got a good look at her face. Her eyes and nose were all red and swollen; her cheeks were flushed.

"You alright?" Natsu asked.

Lucy's looked away as she reached for his hand, clearly embarrassed about Natsu seeing her this way.

"I've been better, but I'll live." she responded meekly.

Natsu smiled as he pulled her up and let her get soundly settled onto her feet.

"You just need some time. I know most people will tell you that time heals all wounds, but I don't think that's true. Sure it helps but the only thing that can heal a broken heart is to fill that heart with love. You just need some true friends."

He grinned at her.

"It's a good thing you'll be around here; we have a surplus of good friends for you to make."

Lucy knew he was just trying to help her feel better, but it just made her feel worse. She wasn't ready to hear that yet. She needed to get over Gray in her own time. But being on an enclosed space with the one you were supposed to get over seemed nearly impossible.

Why did I have to come aboard this particular ship? Why is fate so cruel?

Natsu noticed her face darken as more tears began to form at her eyes.

Way to go, Natsu! He thought to himself. Looks like you're just making things worse.

"Hey, Natsu?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Do… Do you think Gray is happy?"

Natsu smiled at her gently.

"Yeah, yeah he is…"

"Then, I'll be happy for him. It's just going to take a little bit for me to be ok."

Natsu ruffled her hair and gave his toothy grin. He made his way past her to the counter that was holding a water basin as well as a pitcher full of water; a mirror hung on the wall in the background. He poured some water into the basin and cupped his hands, splashing it onto his face. He felt water drip down his neck and chest. The cold water felt good and refreshing. He grabbed a cloth from a dowel rod and dipped in into the basin as well. He took the cloth and wiped the sweat from his neck and arms. He looked over at Lucy who had been watching the whole time. He chuckled at her.

"If you stare too long, your face is going to be stuck like that" He joked.

Lucy glared at him and walked out of the wash room into the captain's room. Natsu shrugged as he replaced the cloth to its home.

"Lucy, the rest of the crew is going to be here anytime now; you'll only have to be in here for a little longer, I promise. Gray and I have thought of how we can get the others to trust you, but you're going to have to come up with a story to tell them when they ask you about where you're from." he said, reassuringly.

Lucy nodded in response, letting the Captain know that she understood.

"Great, that will do for now, I have to go get the ship ready to go out to sea. Or at least get someone to do it. Afterward, I'm going to come in here for some much needed sleep. At that point, Gray will introduce you to the rest of the crew. You're welcome to stay here as well, if you're not ready to talk to Gray yet—providing you don't wake me up." Natsu winked at her as he left the cabin.

Natsu walked out of his cabin to witness Gray talking to members of his crew. He smiled.

Finally, we're going to get off this God-forsaken dock and out to sea.

"Gajeel! Levy! Wendy! You guys made it back!" he laughed.

The four people turned to face their Captain.

"Hey, Natsu!" Wendy blushed.

The Captain walked up to her and lifted her up on his shoulders.

"Waaaa!" She cried.

Natsu just laughed.

"I missed you guys! Next time, finish your jobs faster!"

Wendy laughed as Natsu placed her back down on the ship.

Levy was laughing at the pair while Gajeel rolled his eyes.

"Captain, we need to get this ship out to sea. Unless you have more important business, I suggest you stop being stupid and help us out." Gajeel grumbled.

"Actually, Gajeel, I'm putting you in charge of our departure." Natsu said, as Wendy ran off to the hold below deck.

Everyone gasped.

"Uhhh, you want to say that again, Captain?" Gray asked.

"You and I haven't had any sleep Gray. We're in no condition to get this ship out of the harbor. So, Gajeel, you're in charge. As soon as Mirajane and Elfman get here, you set sail. Is that clear?" Natsu said, in his most commanding voice.

"Aye, aye, Cap'n!" Gray and Gajeel chorused, as they went off in different directions to start preparations. Natsu looked at Gray and turned around to head back to his cot.

"If I wake up sometime this week, it'll be too soon…" He said, exasperated.