Chapter 4
A couple days had passed, Clarke had left her phone downstairs, ignoring it. Her mom had told her she would bring it up to her, but she told her she didn't want it, she just wanted to be alone. Normally her mom would make her go to school, she always did whether she was sick, tired, anything. This time she had called the school simply telling her that her daughter would not attend and telling Clarke to just get the assignments via email from her teachers so she wouldn't fall behind. Instead her mom ended up contacting them, getting the assignments for the next couple days and bringing them to her room. That was pretty much all Clarke did. Her mom and her knew it wouldn't take long before the small town they lived in became aware of their situation. Her mom compiling her feelings still went into the hospital for work. Clarke didn't know how she did it. Her mom was making arrangements that day for her father's funeral. That's when she heard the horn. The familiar horn she heard that night and Clarke was thrown into shock, all the events making tears well up in her already swollen eyes. She ignored the sound out her window. Before long there was a knock on her front door. She heard her mom answer it, and Octavia, Bellamy, and Wells were on the other end. "No, Clarke can't come out she doesn't want to be bothered." "No, she doesn't have her phone she asked for me to hold onto it". "No, she doesn't want to see anybody I will tell her your stopped by".
A little more persisting and she heard the car's engine start again. Her mom came up to her room sitting beside her on the bed. "Those were your friends, they wanted to come see why you weren't at school and if the rumors going around were true". She didn't move. "Clarke you can't just stay here, you have school and graduation coming up. I know it hurts but you can't" "I can't what mom". She sat up looking at her mother. "I can't stay here and not want to do anything because if I did in the first-place dad would still be alive. I can't be mad at myself because I choose my friends and if I didn't dad would still be alive. I can't sulk because I blame myself. Please tell me what I can't do". Clarke rolled back over pressing her face into her pillow. All her mom did was rub her shoulder. "The funeral is at 1:00 tomorrow, we aren't having a wake. Please be ready for then, I have to go into work late tonight". She kissed her on her head before walking away stopping in her doorway. "You aren't the only one who lost him Clarke, you aren't alone". Clarke heard her door close. She squeezed her eyes shut. If she wasn't alone why did she feel like that was all she was.
The funeral was beautiful her mom had her dad's urn in a box that was engraved and plated. Pictures all around on easels surrounding his grave. Pictures of her dad smiling, pictures with her as a baby. Almost the whole town had showed up. Her father was a kind soul and he helped out anyone he could wherever he could. He was a very giving individual. People came to sit in the chairs and listen to people speak. Sharing their memories and condolences with them after the priest finished his final words. Clarke just focused on the box in the ground. As everything finished the priest held out the rope with a knot in it. Undoing the knot, he said the last statements before filling in her father's grave. "And now his life is over and done." "No" Clarke whispered to herself. Her mom held her arm gripping it tight. Trying to keep her from lunging out. The hurt welling up in her eyes. The service finished and she stood there at her father's grave everyone heading to the reception. Lagging behind the group Octavia, Bellamy, and Wells sat in the last row of chairs. Clarke kneeled down by her father's head stone. They walked up to Clarke as the crowd cleared. "Clarke" Wells spoke out reaching for her shoulder. "No!" She stood up turning around to face them.
"Clarke we just want to be here for you, like we always have been, remember. Like we said we always would be". Octavia reached for her next. Clarke pulled away. "If I hadn't been out with you guys my father wouldn't be in the ground right now." Clarke was backing away as they all tried to get closer to comfort her. "Clarke sometimes things seem so black and white but it's not always like that there are times when things are meant to happen". Wells was trying to be kind in his words. "And where was I, I should have been there. There shouldn't even have been a there, it should have never happened. If I had just stayed home studying, then…." The tears welled in her eyes. She looked over at a picture of her dad pushing her on the swing when she was little. She reached over to touch it.
"Clarke please, let us be here for you". Clarke looked over at Bellamy. "I think that was the problem in the first place." Bellamy knew she wasn't thinking straight, and she didn't mean what she said but the comment hurt all the same. He backed off. Leaving Wells and Octavia to comfort her. Wells moved forward reaching out his arms. Clarke tried to push him away, but he persisted. She pounded her hands against his chest. "No leave. Me. Alone"! She felt herself catching her breath, choking to keep up with the air she was sucking in. He pulled her into his arms and dropped down on the grass with her. Octavia walked behind her and leaned over hugging her as she cried. "It shouldn't have happened like this, he'll never know." She cried. "He'll never know what"? Octavia asked. "He'll never know how much I loved him". They didn't say any more they just let Clarke cry and held her in that moment. They were all there for her, even if Bellamy was there, he kept his distance.
Everything changed after that, like the very starry sky that she looked at in their small town on the night her father died, new patterns formed. The world turned, and things went back to normal. Clarke threw herself into school. Octavia, Bellamy, and Wells kept their distance giving her space where she needed it. They texted occasionally but whenever they mentioned hanging out Clarke used school as the excuse to bail. With Graduation only a couple weeks after finals, they all dove into their last-minute college applications. Waiting around for their final grades. All dressed in their caps and gowns on the day. They tossed their hats into the air after the ceremony commenced. Bellamy, Octavia, and Wells hugged. Looking out at Clarke standing with her mom playing with the tassel on her hat. They could only imagine what today could have been like for Clarke after loosing her dad so close to it. Clarke walked over to them, "Hey guys" she said with a light smile on her face. Wells reached out to hug her. She let him, Octavia doing the same. Bellamy reached out his hand patting it on her arm, and she gave him a small smile when he did. They small talked for a little before Clarke was ready to head home. Three short months before college would start and there was a lot to do.
I hope you enjoyed and keep reading, thank you for all the follows and readers. As always BE KIND
