Silver Notes: This scene takes place after chapter 36 but before 37, the night of the party in Pastoria. Whether it's canon or not... that's up to y'all to decide.
The Only Kid from High School who is Still in Love With You
"Aaaanyway, sorry for bringing the mood down. Kinda s—shut…shif…shitty way to end your birthday, ha."
Drunk Niss slurred her way through the apology, struggling not only to get the words out but also to even walk. Thankfully, Barry was there to help. He put her arm around his shoulders and did his best to shuffle them both toward the Pokemon Center a couple streets away. Easy to find, as it was the only building that still had some of the lights on.
"N-no, it's… it's fine," Barry muttered, an uncomfortable look on his face. "I mean… not really my birthday anymore, is it? It's already past midnight."
"O-oh… haha, yeah I guess." Niss laughed unevenly, her whole body shaking against him with every chuckle. "Man… I'm dumb."
But Barry didn't laugh. Couldn't, even if he'd wanted to. He felt like there was a vacuum inside his chest, tightening everything behind his ribcage, turning it tense and cold. While Niss kept mumbling nonsense and smiling at him, he just… walked, trying to keep the guilt and unease from his expression.
What Niss had just told him… was it really true? Had she really been carrying onto those thoughts all this time?
All because of Shadi and Johanna…
His face scrunched up unconsciously, teeth clenching in anger. He felt a strange itch behind his eyes. The wind around him seemed to have stilled for a moment.
But then he closed his eyes and took a breath. No… this was on him too. Because he hadn't known, hadn't even suspected it all this time, even though they were supposed to know everything about the other. To think Niss had felt this way, had felt like a parasite on her family and he was none the wiser…
What a great best friend I turned out to be…
"Hm? Barry, w-whass…whassup?" asked Niss, tilting her head. "You look kinda scary there…"
He immediately wiped the look off his face and shone her a quick, warm smile. Strangely enough, that part came easy to him. It wasn't just having Niss so close, wasn't just the fact that he was holding onto her. Just, knowing that he hadn't been there before when he should have…
He unconsciously grabbed onto her more strongly, a fierce, overwhelming sense of fear and… something else, something hot and anxious that made his heart start beating faster, came over him in an instant. It was a sudden, powerful feeling which ushered back that odd itchiness behind his eyes. As soon as that came, Niss seemed to relax next to him. An aloof, lopsided smile formed on her lips.
"It's… it's okay," he whispered, trying to imbue as much confidence into his voice as he could. "Look, the Pokemon Center is right there. Let's get you to your room, okay?"
"HMmmmmkay…"
Unfortunately, that turned out to be easier said than done. As soon as they entered the building, a difficult problem presented itself to them. The stairs.
"Ugh… c-come on I can do this," Niss muttered angrily. "Piece of shit stairs…"
Even with Barry helping to guide her, Niss kept barely missing the steps every time, and would have tripped face-first into the stairs if it weren't for him holding on to her arm. After a whole minute of that, less… orthodox measures needed to be considered. Well, technically Barry had thought of it almost instantly, but it took a bit until he gathered the courage to suggest it.
And oddly enough, Niss had no problem with it.
"O-oh… well, here, lemme…"
Thank goodness for the dim lighting of the building; it did a wonderful job of hiding the clear blush on Barry's face as he carried Niss upstairs bridal style. Since their rooms were on the second floor the trip was short, but to him it felt like an eternity. Niss' arms around him, her face pressed gently against his shoulder, the feeling of her breathing against him, so close he could barely distinguish it from his own…
N-no, come on. Stop that.
He shook his head as they reached the second floor. However, Niss didn't say anything or tell him to drop her so… well, it seemed weird to bring it up, so he kept carrying her until they reached her room. He practically kicked the door open, and couldn't quite reach the light switch so he just left the room dark as he carried Niss to her bed.
"Mmmmm comfy…" Niss let out a tired yawn as she sat on the bed alongside him. "Thanks… sorry you had to carry me here…"
Barry gulped, his shoulder tightening at the feeling of Niss' head resting on it. She let out another big yawn, practically falling asleep against him. He knew he should've said something like 'Well, guess I should go back to my room, let you get some sleep!' but the words felt like they didn't want to come out. Like he didn't want them to come out.
Niss blinked a few times sleepily and rubbed her cheek against his shoulder, one of her hands grabbing onto Barry's. His heart jumped.
"HmmmBarry?"
"Y-yeah?"
Her other arm came around his, pulling him closer. He felt her breathing almost against his neck and shivered.
"Thanks…"
He frowned. "For… what?"
Niss pressed against him, frowning. "Mmm… dunno. Do I need a reason, dumbass?" She snickered to herself. "Y'know, stuff. Whatever. Thanks for… being here, and all that."
"I…" He bit his lip, a mix of guilt and something… a lot stronger freezing him in place. "N-no I just… I mean come on Niss. You would've done the same for me."
"…Right."
Barry leaned slightly against her, squeezing her hand with his own. It felt like an electric shock running through his fingers. The world seemed to both focus and lose focus around him, the oppressive heat of Pastoria and the distant sounds of people and Pokemon in the night being muffled into a far-away buzz, while the feeling of Niss against him and the sound of her breathing and the clear beat of her heart through her fingers felt more real than anything else. It felt too real, too bright and loud and Barry couldn't do anything except stay still and frozen, letting it boom through him.
"Mmmhey… Barry?"
"Hm?"
Niss raised her head slightly, pulling him down a bit closer. Then, quickly, she planted a kiss on his cheek.
Barry's heart tightened, eyes shooting wide open. The mess of emotions inside him felt like it short-circuited, leaving him completely frozen.
"I…I k-kfu…kinda…" Niss' grasp on speech deteriorated as tiredness and exhaustion began taking hold of her. "I k-kinda… wanna do that again. Yu-yuo-you know?"
What few words he could get out, they came out wavy and shaking. "Y-yeah?"
"Yeah… I kinda…" She swallowed nervously, her eyes hidden by the shadow of her hair. "I k-kinda… really wanna kiss you. For real."
The following seconds were a contradiction. They felt like they stretched out for minutes, while at the same time making Barry's heart feel like it was beating a hundred times faster than before. During those seconds he slowly, almost fearfully, turned his head to the side. His eyes met Niss', and it was then that realization hit him with the force of a hammer to the nose. It was the kind of powerful, earth-shaking clarity that left him cold and breathless, eyes going wide like plates. Suddenly, for one of the very few times in his life, he felt like things clicked perfectly into place.
I…
The shock was such that he was left a pale, unsure mess, eyes wide and expression completely lost. It felt both obvious and like an incredible revelation at the same time. He could barely process it, could barely understand…
Niss' eyes narrowed ever so slightly, their green so bright and vibrant they felt like a whole landscape of their own. Barry felt like he could lose himself in them, in all its different shades and the little, almost imperceptible specks of yellow hidden within them, for hours.
"C-can… can I kiss you, Barry?"
There was nothing in the world Barry wanted more than to say yes. For a moment, the clarity from his sudden realization and the mess of emotions he'd been feeling before combined into something else, something stronger, more tempestuous. For a moment, he wanted nothing but to grab Niss and kiss her. Kiss her lips and her cheeks and her neck and collarbone and never stop until, with that alone, he could get across clear as crystal what he felt toward her. Until she saw herself the way he saw her, until she understood perfectly just what those eyes of hers did to him when they met with his so defiantly.
For a single, doubtful second, his grip got tighter and he almost pulled her closer. Then the clarity came slightly above every other part of him, and he stopped. He closed his eyes, silent for a moment, before he sighed.
"I…"
He opened them again and, with difficulty, shone Niss a warm, caring smile.
"Tell you what… ask me that tomorrow, after you get some sleep," he whispered. "When you ask me again, I promise I'll say yes. Okay?"
Niss blinked at him, eyes narrowing with drunkenness and exhaustion.
"O-oh… okay."
She didn't seem angry or sad or disappointed, just a bit confused as she pulled back and away from him, blinking rapidly. She looked like she was about to fall asleep.
"W-well… yer,yu,you… better remember your prem-prumise-promise, then," she said, letting out another big yawn. "And… I'll try to get some sleep."
Barry smiled and nodded. Standing up from the bed felt a lot harder than he expected, but he did it anyway, letting Niss get under the covers as he headed for the door.
It wouldn't be fair to her… Not now while she's like this, he thought, nodding to himself. Maybe tomorrow if she remembers this…
It was an unlikely hope. Judging by how drunk Niss was, he doubted she would remember this come the morning, but still…
It was a hope he wouldn't mind keeping close.
"Well… good night, Niss."
He looked over his shoulder, smiling at the sleepy girl as he reached the door. Niss looked up from the blankets and gave a small, tired nod.
"Nnnnight…"
