Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Uncharted or Gravity Falls.

Chapter 3: Borneo

(Three Weeks Later...)

(In a lone jail cell, Dipper lays on a cot facing away from the cell door. He makes shadow puppets with his hands on the wall.)

Dipper: (imitating Rumble) You over looked one little detail, didn't you, partner? (regular voice) What!? (imitating Rumble) Face it, genius. You've been played. (regular voice) Oh, really? (makes a gunshot sound and imitates Rumble dying)

(Footsteps are heard outside the cell and a shadow appears on the wall.)

Dipper: (annoyed) Hey, jackass, you're ruining the show here.

Familiar voice: (sarcastically) Oh, what a shame.

(Dipper turns around and sees his old friend, Stanley Pines, in a light-green button-down shirt and tan pants.)

Dipper: (relieved) Stan!

Stan: (smiles) I really cant leave you alone for a minute.

Dipper: Man, am I glad to see you.

Stan: How ya doin', kid?

Dipper: Ah, just great.

(A guard unlocks the cell door and walks off. Stan goes in.)

Stan: I had to grease a few palms, go through the rest of your money and a good chunk of my own. But, hey!

(The two share a hug.)

Stan: (grossed out) Geez, you stink!

Dipper: (smiles) Yeah, not half as bad as that cigar. Hey, how'd you find me?

Stan: Well, a friend of yours asked for my help.

(Wendy appears in the cell door.)

Wendy: (smirks) Hey, Dipper.

Dipper: (skeptical) Oh, no... No!

Stan: Now just wait a sec-

Dipper: Stan, kick her out and shut the door. We're safer in here.

Stan: (stern) Just wait a goddamn minute and hear her out.

Wendy: Thank you, Stan.

Dipper: No offense, Stan, but you're not exactly the best judge of character. Especially when it comes to women.

Stan: (shrugs) Fair enough. All the same.

Wendy: (grossed out) Dear, God...

Dipper: (sarcastically) Oh, no, it wasn't that bad. Look, I have my own bucket. Last cell I was in, eight of us had to share.

Wendy: Listen, Dipper-

Dipper: (disgusted) Y'know, I appreciate you dropping by, but if you and Rumble hadn't screwed me over in the first place-

Wendy: Now, wait a minute-

Dipper: -I wouldn't have been rotting in this shithole for the last three months-

Wendy: Dipper, listen-

Dipper: -So excuse me if I'm not just leaping into your arms.

(He turns away with his arms crossed.)

Wendy: (serious) I had nothing to do with this. Rumble doesn't know I'm here. He still thinks I'm on his side.

Dipper: (scoffs) Then why are you here?

Stan: They found the ships, Dipper.

Dipper: (turns around, intrigued) In Borneo?

Stan: Yeah.

Dipper: And the Cintamani Stone?

Wendy: How do you know about that?

Dipper: You really think Rumble could've figured all that out on his own?

Wendy: Okay, good point. And no, they haven't found it yet.

Dipper: Wait, what do ya mean "they"?

Stan: Rumble and his partner, Ivan Wexler.

Wendy: You know, the "nutcase". He hired Rumble to find the ships, who then used you to do it. They've been working together all along.

Dipper: (deep breath) Alright, if they haven't found the stone, there's still time. (to Wendy) You're gonna get us into that dig site. We're gonna snatch that treasure right out from under them.

Wendy: (smirks) They'll never see it coming.

(Dipper walks out of the cell with Wendy and Stan following.)

Dipper: (stern) Yeah, well, payback's a bitch.


(Later, they sit down at a table in a cafe. Stan gets drinks as Dipper and Wendy look at some documents about the Cintamani Stone.)

Dipper: They called it "the wish-fulfilling jewel". It's a sacred object.

Wendy: Like a Buddhist "Holy Grail"?

Dipper: Yeah.

(Stan sits down with drinks. Dipper picks up another paper with Latin writings from Marco Polo printed on it.)

Dipper: Stan, listen to this: (reading) "In the kingdom of Shambala lies the most precious thing to be found in all the world. A perfect raw sapphire of the deepest blue, longer around than the reach of a man's arms."

Stan: (excited) Oooh, that's gotta be worth millions!

Dipper: (excited) Hundreds of millions! (to Wendy) And you say there's more of this stuff?

Wendy: Loads more. Ivan Wexler paid top dollar for Marco Polo's journals. He's been after the Cintamani Stone for years.

Stan: (chuckles) Well, if he's been counting on Rumble to find it, it's no wonder he hasn't had any luck.

Dipper: If I can get a look at Ivan's files, I can find that stone.

Wendy: (serious) Hang on there, cowboy. That's way easier said than done. I did tell you that Ivan's a powerful war criminal with his own private army at his disposal. The files are in his tent and his tent is the middle of the camp. It's like an armed compound, there are soldiers everywhere.

Dipper: Well, that's why it has to be an inside job... (to Wendy, slyly) From someone they know and trust.

Wendy: (rolls her eyes) Oh... okay, I see where this is going.

Dipper: I'll just need a diversion. You give me five minutes in that tent. That's all it'll take.

Wendy: (smirks) Really? Five minutes? Well, that's great. I won't even have to get my top off.

Dipper: (awkwardly) Uh... Wendy, I was thinking more like an explosion.

Wendy: Or that. It can be arranged.

Dipper: Great. (to Stan) You in?

Stan: (grins) Oh, hell yes. I was in before you were.

Dipper: (smiles) Then let's do it!


(A few days later, Dipper and Stan run through the jungle in the land of Borneo. The mountain from Marco Polo's message is in the distance. Wendy was already undercover among Ivan's forces that occupy the mountain's surrounding area. Dipper is wearing his blue pants, dark-grey shirt and brown gun holsters with actual guns this time. He's also wearing his trusty pine tree hat. They both wear earpieces to communicate with Wendy and each other.)

Dipper: Wendy, you read us?

Wendy: (through earpiece) Loud and clear.

Stan: We're getting close.

Wendy: (through earpiece) Okay, I've planted charges all around the perimeter of the camp. You two just need to arm them. The first one should be right in front of you.

(They move ahead until they find a device with a green light attached to a log.)

Dipper: Here it is.

Wendy: (through earpiece) I also left the detonator for you.

Stan: Ah-huh, there we are.

(Stan picks up the detonator while Dipper arms the charge. The green light turns red.)

Dipper: Alright, first one's set. Don't touch the button.

Stan: (points at detonator) This one?

Wendy: (through earpiece) Once you've set all the charges, just hit the detonator and it's showtime.

Stan: (laughs) They'll never know what hit 'em.

Wendy: (through earpiece) Just be careful. Ivan's got his men posted all around the perimeter.

(They continue moving though the jungle.)

Stan: (sighs) I'm sweatin' like a hooker in church.

Dipper: (raises eyebrow) You brought a hooker to church?

Stan: Why not?

(They then heard voices up ahead. They hide behind some big logs and see a small patrol of soldiers in light armor. Some in grey uniforms, others in black.)

Stan: (whispering) Careful. Up ahead.

Wendy: (through earpiece, whispering) Don't let them spot you.

Stan: Let's take these guys out quietly.

(Dipper pulls out his pistol and tries to flank the soldiers but steps on a twig. They hear it and see him. He opens fire at them before they can act.)

Stan: (disappointed) I said quiet, Dipper, that's the other end of loud.

(The two quickly take down the patrol and move forward. The get to a small cliff that leads to a higher leverage of the jungle.)

Dipper: We climb up there.

Stan: (sneers) Maybe YOU can...

Dipper: (rolls his eyes) Okay, hold on, Grandpa. I'll find a way up for you.

(He climbs up the cliff and finds a large rock leaning over the the edge. He pushes it off and Stan climbs up it.)

Stan: Thanks, kid.

Dipper: This way.

(They progress past the cliff and deeper into the trees.)

Wendy: (through earpiece) Dipper, you should be approaching excavation site one by now.

(They run into another patrol who sees them before they can hide.)

Stan: Shit, we've been spotted!

Wendy: (through earpiece) Take 'em out fast! Don't let 'em send word back to camp!

(Dipper and Stan move fast and flank around the trees, attacking their enemies from the sides. Once their down, Dipper picks up an assault rifle from them. They keep going deeper in the jungle.)

Wendy: (through earpiece) You should be getting close to the first camp. I've planted four more charges in there, but you'll have to clear the place out before you can arm them.

(Eventually they drop down from a hill and move through some more trees. They see a large wooden tent up ahead. Past the tent is a camp with about a dozen more soldiers.)

Soldier #1: Ugh! I've had enough of this place! We might as well give up!

Soldier #2: Don't let the boss hear you talking like that.

Dipper: (to Stan, whispering) You ready for this?

Stan: (whispering) Let's do it.

(They sneak into the tent and knock out the guard at the radio so he wouldn't report to the main camp. Then Dipper aims his rifle at a generator in the middle of the camp and shoots. The generator blows up and takes out a few soldiers. The remaining ones are alerted.)

Soldier: Trespassers! Shoot them!

Dipper: Bring it!

(After another quick shootout, the camp is cleared. They find the four charges hidden in the area and arm them.)

Stan: Okay, that's all of them. Now let's go pay Mr. Ivan a visit.

(They go over to a hill on the edge of the camp where a ladder was hanging on the side. Dipper kneels down under.)

Dipper: Can't reach this. Come on over here and I'll give you a boost.

Stan: Alright.

(Stan steps in Dipper's hands and he lifts him up.)

Dipper: (teasingly) C'mon gorgeous, jump up. You got a great ass, Stan.

Stan: Thanks.

(Stan grabs the ladder and drops it down for Dipper. He goes up and they progress forward. They find the remains of an old ship's mast.)

Stan: That must've been some tsunami to wash these ships so far inland.

(Past the mast is a pit a few yards deep where a small waterfall pours water in. They hide behind a log and see two guards in the pit standing in the shallow water working on a water pump.)

Soldier #1: It broke down again.

Soldier #2: The damn thing is always breaking down.

Dipper: (whispering) They're not armed.

Stan: (whispering) Let's get 'em.

(Suddenly, another soldier comes out of nowhere and kicks Stan down. He grabs Dipper and tries throws him in the pit. Dipper resists and the struggle makes him drop his guns. They fall in and engage in a fist fight. The three soldiers advance on Dipper, but the treasure hunter proves to be the better fighter and knocks them all down with his fast reflexes. Stan watches him.)

Dipper: Coulda used some help down here.

Stan: Eh, you were doing fine.

(Another guard ambushes him but he flips him and tosses him in the pit.)

Stan: Here's another one for ya!

Dipper: (annoyed) Stan!

(After Dipper beats the last guard, Stan drops a rope down.)

Stan: Enough of this frivolity, kid. C'mon, we got work to do.

Dipper: What does frivolity mean?

(Dipper climbs the rope out and they see the big hose connected to the water pump running through the trees.)

Stan: What do you bet we follow the hose, we find the camp?

Dipper: You always follow the hose. Just like in Montreal, huh?

Stan: (shakes head) You're never gonna forget that, are ya?

(They walk along next to the hose and go deeper into the jungle.)