Chapter Three: With or Without Your Approval
Waking up in strange places was beginning to become a habit. At least this time I was in a bed, and not chained to the floor. Wait – not chained to the floor. Did this mean I was no longer a suspect? It was starting to seem that way. The cabin they had me in was nice; it looked to be one of the ones the clerics had shared before the Conclave, but with only one bed. I sat up gingerly, hungry as hell, when a young elf who'd just walked in squeaked and dropped what she was carrying.
"I didn't know you were awake, I swear," she said, timid as a Chantry mouse.
"It's alright," I replied. "What's your name, lethallan?"
"I – my name is not important, my lady," she replied, sinking to her knees and bowing to me. "I am but a humble servant, who asks your forgiveness, and your blessing."
I chuckled a little, until I realize she was serious.
"Get up and close the door," I told her, and she complied immediately. I sat up in the bed, made room for her, and told her to sit next to me.
"My name is Nessa," I said. "I am – or at least I was – the Grand Cleric of Denerim's chambermaid. I am certainly no one to be afraid of. Now, what's your name?"
"My name is Melora, my lady," she said, her voice shaking a little less. "I came from the Chantry in Gwaren, where I served Mother Beatrix, the Maker bless her soul."
"And your parents, are they still in Gwaren, or did they come up here with you?"
"Oh, I have no parents, my lady. I was raised in the Chantry from the time I was little." I'd seen a few stories like that during my time at the Denerim Chantry, and they were never happy ones. I put my arms around her and gave her a tight hug.
"I hope they treated you well. Now, what is all this about calling some knife-eared Chantry maid 'My Lady?'"
"It's what they're saying out there. They say you've saved us all; that Blessed Andraste Herself sent you to us to save us from the Breach."
"Wait," I asked. "The shems, too?"
Melora giggled, which I was glad to hear. "Yes, the shems, too. They call you the Herald of Andraste." I looked at her and began to giggle, too. Then we both began to laugh ourselves silly.
"So, I'm going to go out there, and all these shems are going to start bowing to me or something?"
"Oh yes. They're all so grateful to you for saving us."
I snorted one last laugh, this time a bit more sarcastically. "Look, Melora. I didn't save anyone. This silly green thing on my hand did. Now, if a bunch of shems want to bow to me, that's just fine. You, however, will do no such thing, do you hear me? And no more of this "My Lady" or "Herald of Andraste" nonsense. My name is Nessa. Nessa Ghilani. Let the other elves know that if I hear any of them call me anything else, I'm going to bring Andraste Herself down here to scold them."
This brought a smile to Melora's face. "I'll do that, Nessa," she said. "Oh, and I'm supposed to let you know that Seeker Cassandra wants to see you right away in the Chantry." She gave me a hug and saw herself out of my cabin. I stood up and looked around, more than a bit bemused. There was a crowd assembled outside my door, very much like the one that greeted me on my way out of the prison. I straightened up as best I could, put a severe look on my face, and walked out of the cabin with my head held higher than it had ever been. And, just as Melora said, the shems either saluted me or bowed to me as I passed. I pressed my luck and tried imitating the waves I'd seen Queen Anora give as she walked through Denerim with her attendants – the shems ate it up. I actually heard one of them say that my waving at her was a sign that the Maker Himself had blessed her. There were many whispers of "That's her!" "That's the Herald!" "Andraste sent her to save us!" I managed to maintain a straight face until I was just about at the Chantry doors, when I chuckled just a bit and shook my head before continuing on in.
But once inside the Chantry, all of that braggadocio left quickly. The candles the Chantry uses to light its temples' dark halls have a particular smell, and once that hit my nose, I was the Grand Cleric's knife-ear chambermaid all over again. I could clearly hear Cassandra and the High Chancellor debate my fate from a room at the back of the hall, the one where the Revered Mothers and, when she's around, the Grand Cleric prepare themselves for worship. By the time I got to the door, all I could do was open it slowly and peek my head inside. Cassandra brusquely waved me in, before I heard the High Chancellor call for me to be chained and taken away. It wouldn't be the first time that happened to an elf.
"Disregard that," Cassandra said to the soldiers guarding the door. "And leave us."
By this point, I had had just about enough. I'd woken up in chains, for no reason. I'd been violently interrogated, for no reason. I'd been made to fight demons and Maker knows what else. I stopped the Breach from growing, which nearly cost me my life. Now I have a village full of shems bowing to me, and this clown still wants to arrest me?
"Would you people just make up your fucking minds?" I asked, getting right up into the Chancellor's face. "I've got a couple hundred shems out there who think I'm the second coming of Andraste, I've got two more shems in here who think I'm somehow going to save the world, and you think I'm a damned murderer. Lock me up already or get out of my face."
The Chancellor slapped me hard across my cheek. "You mouthy, knife-eared bitch," he said. "Don't you dare talk to the Grand Chancellor that way, or I'll have you in irons faster than you can pick a pocket."
I stood there, stone-faced, looking him right in the eyes. That was hardly the first time a shem had slapped me, and I had to make sure he knew I wasn't someone to be pushed around. To my great surprise, Leliana jumped to my defense nearly immediately, pulling me out of the way, so she could berate him for calling me that.
I was dumbfounded. Generally, even the "nice shems" would look away when someone in a position of power reminded us of our place. But as they continued to argue, it was becoming more and more clear that Chancellor Roderick had absolutely nothing to say about anything in that room, and that the mark on my hand was going to be the thing save us all.
And then Cassandra went off the rails completely.
"The Maker sent her to us in our hour of need."
"Sweet Andraste's tits," I exclaimed. "You really think I'm your savior; that this is all part of some grand plan by the Maker?"
"I don't know who you are or how you came to us," Cassandra answered. "But even you must see that you are exactly what we needed when we needed it."
Unfortunately for Roderick's sake, he had no idea when to shut up. He'd just about opened his mouth to rebut Cassandra's assertion when she slammed a book down nearly onto his fingers.
"You know what this is, Chancellor," she reminded him. "This is Divine Justinia's writ granting her Left and Right Hands the authority to act; to bring order to the chaos. As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn."
"With no Chantry support," Roderick said, "how can you –"
"Anyone in the Chantry whose opinion mattered is dead," Cassandra interrupted, which seemed to give Roderick the clue he was missing. He turned on his heel and left, not even bothering to look back. Leliana and Cassandra took a moment to catch their breath, and as they did that, I sought out an opportunity to leave them to it. There was so much to figure out – obviously they were going to need me to close the Breach, however they intended to do that. But was I supposed to stay in the Frostbacks until they figured that out, or could I go back to Denerim? And if I did go back to Denerim, was I going to be a target or a hero? Or had word even gotten back there about the Conclave? And if I stayed in Haven, how would my mother support herself? I thought I'd probably be able to find a nice mug of Dwarven ale somewhere in the Frostbacks over which I could contemplate all of this, but was stopped on my way out the door.
"Please, stay." Cassandra said.
"I'm not your chosen one, Cassandra," I replied.
"Perhaps, perhaps not. But we do need you, regardless."
"You'll forgive me if the idea of a shemlen holy war doesn't exactly bolster my sense of duty."
Cassandra opened her mouth to answer me back, but Leliana stopped her.
"You do not have to stay if you do not wish to," she said. "But it will not be easy for you out there. Nor will it be easy for your people. Those here in Haven saw what you did at the temple, and they fervently believe you were sent from Andraste. But to many others, you are an elf who has gotten away with murder. And if the stories my Kallian has told me are true, then you know full well what the impact of that will be on alienages throughout Thedas."
"Again, this really isn't helping."
"I don't know if you were sent to us or not, either," Leliana continued. "But you have seen that others believe you were. And if they can believe that, so can many more people. The Inquisition could use this influence to build support in Thedas. And with the Inquisition's help, you can use this new status to your advantage, and the advantage of your people. I believe the young girl who attended to you earlier would agree, no?"
"How did you know about her?" I asked.
"Leliana is our spymaster," Cassandra replied. "She knows everything that goes on in this camp."
"Thank you, Cassandra," Leliana said, seeming a little put out. "You need not answer us now, Herald of Andraste. Take some time to mull it over. Perhaps you can have Flissa pour you a drink. But you have my word that if you decide to stay with the Inquisition, you will be protected. And respected."
"When was the last time you heard from Kallian?" I asked. "How is she?"
"I received a letter from my love this morning," Leliana answered, surprisingly matter-of-factly. "She sends her regards, and says that if she can spare the time, she would love to visit us here in Haven."
"When was the last time you saw her?"
"Shortly before we left Val Royeaux for the Conclave, Kallian visited me at the Grand Cathedral. She knew the Conclave would be a difficult time for us all and was the only one I told about Justinia's directive to restart the Inquisition. You know that she is looking for a way to stop the Calling; her current lead is in the very westernmost part of the Anderfels. Her visit gave me courage to see the Conclave through, whatever happened, and I like to think it gave her strength to make her own treacherous journey."
The stories of Sister Nightingale told in the Alienage were of a master of the Grand Game of Orlais, of a woman who could charm the pants off of, or the life out of, anyone she chose. She was a master manipulator; someone who knew what you wanted to hear even before you did. But something about the way she offered this very personal and possibly sensitive information so calmly and so readily led me to believe she was speaking earnestly. And, honestly, even if I did leave, where would I go?
"I will join you," I said, regretting each word as it left my mouth, "under one condition."
"Name it," Cassandra said.
"Bring my mother here from Denerim and set her up with a shop. She's a good tailor, and while the latest Orlesian fashion is a bit out of reach for her, she makes sturdy clothing that will serve us all well out here in the ass-end of nowhere."
"Consider it done," Leliana said. "I will have her here within the month, and as soon as we can find a steady supply of cloth, we will set her up with a shop."
"Thank you. Now I think I will have that drink you mentioned."
I shook hands with each of these formidable women, and made my way through the Chantry hall, head held a bit higher than it had been. Before I reached the door, however, I heard Cassandra behind me calling out my name.
"Herald, please, wait a moment."
I stopped and turned around. She looked a little flustered, which on the face of the Right Hand of the Divine looked nothing if not endearing.
"I was hoping I might accompany you do the Tavern. I never have truly thanked you for saving my life in the temple that day. Your actions were, if you don't mind my saying so, heroic."
"You're welcome, Cassandra," I replied. "But it was nothing, honestly. I did what anyone would do in that situation."
Cassandra shook her head. "You have obviously not seen much battle, then. We would all like to think we would drop everything to save a fallen comrade, yet so often the will to live another day and see one's own family again comes first. But you acted without hesitation, not just to save a life, but to save a human's life. I may not know all that you have experienced at the hands of humans, but I do know that you don't think very highly of us, and –"
"Cassandra, really, it's fine," I said, trying to save her from further embarrassment. "I hope that as long as we're working together, that will always be my first instinct. However, I certainly wouldn't say no to a free drink.
