Maeve hadn't stopped smiling since she and Otis had finally stopped beating around the bush and had confessed their love for each other. She never thought she would ever be someone who would be that affected by one person, but here she was, smiling when she saw beautiful flowers or when the sun shined just right. She was getting soft not that she'd ever admit it.
"I'm so glad, you and Otis decided to stop being stupid." Aimee said, as she and Maeve walked towards their lockers.
"I mean that's one way of putting it but yeah, me too." Maeve said.
"Do you guys know what you're going to be doing?" Aimee asked.
"I don't but I think Otis does. He doesn't want to tell me yet." Maeve said with a shy smile.
"It's tomorrow night, right?" Aimee asked.
"Yup." Maeve said, reaching her locked.
Maeve turned around to look for Otis, who was talking to Ruby. She didn't want to admit it but it really pissed her off seeing them together. She knew Otis said there was nothing going on between them but could Ruby just back the fuck off? She obviously knew there was something going on between her and Otis. Maybe it was the fact that Maeve always felt unsure of what kind of relationship Otis wanted with her and that led her to feel insecure around Ruby. But that was something Maeve didn't want to think about.
"Don't." Aimee said, interrupting Maeve's thoughts.
"What?" Maeve asked, turning towards Aimee.
"Don't start losing your shit. There is nothing going on between them and you know it." Aimee said.
"I wasn't.." Maeve began but was interrupted by Otis appearing behind her and giving her peck on the cheek. He had left Ruby as soon as he saw Maeve .
"Hey." Otis said with a smile that threatened to take up most of his face.
"Hey, dickhead." Maeve said, starting to melt a little.
"How are you this morning?" Otis asked. He really wanted to come up with something better but at this point Maeve knew what a little dork he was so there was no point pretending to be suave.
"I'm alright, how about you?" Maeve asked, catching Ruby's eye. The second that she did, her expressions changed from her Otis smile to one of her wanting to rip Ruby's head off.
"Is everything okay?" Otis asked, looking back to see who Maeve was trying to kill with her eyes.
"I'm going to leave you two to it." Aimee said, clearly not wanting any part in this.
"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Maeve asked, her falls clearing building up again as she redirected her gaze to Otis.
"You just.. you seem kind of angry looking at Ruby. Is this because I was talking to her earlier?" Otis asked, trying to tread as lightly as possible.
"I'm not, why would I be? Is there something I should be angry about?" Maeve asked, crossing her arms across her chest. She knew she was starting to be a little unreasonable but she couldn't help herself.
"No, not at all. I mean, Ruby and I are just friends." Otis said.
"Yeah." Maeve said.
"Are you.. are you jealous? Is that what's going on right now?" Otis asked.
"Why would I be jealous of her?" Maeve asked, clearly getting very offended.
"No, I'm not saying that.. I just. I'm going to stop talking." Otis said, knowing he was in a lot of trouble.
"Yeah, you do that." Maeve said storming off.
"Maeve! Maeve! Wait!" Otis called out after her but she was already gone.
"That seemed intense." Eric said, appearing next to Otis.
"Yeah, I think she's mad at me because she saw me talking to Ruby." Otis said.
"You told her, you guys are just friends, right?" Eric asked.
"Yeah of course I did, how dumb do you think I am? " Otis asked, getting irritated with no one giving him any credit.
"Well usually, I don't think you're dumb at all. But when it comes to Maeve, you're a fucking idiot." Eric said, feeling especially honest this fine morning.
"Thanks." Otis said, beginning to walk away.
"Hey come on, don't get mad. Did you try to talk to her?" Eric asked.
"Of course I did. But she did the thing where she crosses her arms across her chest and with that she closes off every part of her. It's like an impenetrable wall comes up around her and I used to think I was good at breaking through but not so much." Otis said.
"Look, it's maybe just that you and Ruby have history and that makes her uncomfortable, just talk it out. Please don't do the miscommunication thing again, it's horrible on me." Eric said, being his dramatic self.
"It's horrible on you?" Otis asked, shooting Eric a glare.
"Yes." Eric said.
"I'll try and talk to her. I'll text her right now." Otis said, taking his phone out of his pocket.
But this was Maeve and Otis; communication was never going to be easy. Maeve ignored each and every one of Otis' texts. The only respite he had was that they had an appointment this afternoon. The only time they seemed to be good at talking about feelings was when they weren't their own. Maybe dealing with someone else's problems would help them work through their own shit.
The session went about pretty fast. Maeve practically avoided eye contact with Otis the entire time. She had no idea why she was so mad. She had never been the jealous type but right now all she could see was red.
As soon as the session got over, she tried to run out of the dingy bathroom they called an office but was intercepted by Eric at the door.
"You're not going anywhere." Eric said from the door.
"Eric, get out of my way." Maeve said, with the scariest look she could muster.
"I would, I really would but I do not have the patience to deal with another one of your communication black outs. Absolutely not. I am finally happy in my life and that can only last if my best friend is happy. And believe it or not, I care about you too, Maeve and I want you to be happy and the only way that will happen is if you two are together. So I don't care what deep and dark secrets you need to reveal to each other to take this forward. But it's happening now." Eric said, shutting the door behind him as he walked out.
"Eric!" Maeve screamed, pounding on the door and quickly pulling her hand back once she realized how dirty the door was.
"We're going to be here a while so we might as well talk. He won't come back till we fix this." Otis said.
Maeve ignored Otis and tried looking for an escape.
"Why are you so scared talking to me?" Otis asked, standing in front of Maeve and pulling her closer to him.
"I'm not scared." Maeve said, her eyes darting from Otis' eyes to his lips. She was finding this confident side of Otis very attractive, so much so that she almost forgot to be mad at him.
"Then what is it?" Otis asked, his eyes seeming kind of pleading.
Maeve took a deep breath. She hated fighting with Otis and this time she had no idea why she was even doing it.
"I hated seeing you with Ruby. It drove me mad." Maeve said.
"Why? There's nothing going on between her and I." Otis said.
"You lost your virginity to her, Otis. The same night you called me the most selfish person you knew." Maeve said.
"I'm so sorry, Maeve. I always will be. But I was drunk out of my mind, I don't even remember having sex with Ruby, that's how drunk I was. I didn't mean anything I said to you that night. I was hurt because I had lost you. I'd imagined you being my first girlfriend, my first time all of it. And I know we can't have that but I don't care. You are the only person I want to be with, that's been true since the day we met. I don't want to pressure you. If you want time, you can have that. I'll wait." Otis said. He didn't want time, he knew they'd wasted way too much already but he'd never push Maeve to something she didn't feel ready for.
"I don't want time." Maeve blurted out. She knew she'd fucked up. She didn't want time, she wanted to be with Otis, but her rage and her insecurities about herself kept getting in the way.
"Okay, what do you want then?" Otis asked.
"I want to be with you." Maeve said.
"And I want to be with you, so what is the problem?" Otis asked, the confusion and frustration evident in his voice.
"I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have always had complete control over my life. I have never depended on anyone because there was no one to depend on. But with you, I'm always smiling and how things are between us influences every single aspect of my life. I've never felt like this, so the thought that you might leave me for someone, anyone, makes me want to run the fuck away. I have always fucked up stuff because I don't trust anyone and that's because no one ever gave me a good enough reason to trust them. So when I see you with Ruby, every single voice in my head that told me I wasn't good enough or that I'll never be what you want comes alive. Those voices were the loudest at your party. I don't want to be jealous, I don't to be someone who tells you who to be friends with. That's the kind of toxic shit, I've seen all my life and I won't do it. But I'm scared of losing control and losing myself to you. I don't know how to do this relationship thing but I want to learn." Maeve said.
"I won't plan our date then." Otis said.
"What? You don't want to go out with me anymore?" Maeve asked, the panic evident in her voice. She was sure she had finally scared him away with all her baggage.
"What no, of course I do. I just think maybe you should plan it. I mean, you said you don't like losing control, so maybe this is a way where you can still feel like you're in control? And besides we can take it as slow as you want. We can literally do whatever makes you feel comfortable and safe, that's the most important thing. And for what it's worth, I don't know how to do relationships either, I've never been a boyfriend." Otis said.
Maeve smiled the smile she had reserved for Otis. She was always in awe of how much he cared for her, how much he wanted her to see all that she deserved. And hearing him say that he was her boyfriend gave Maeve butterflies. And normally, she would have tried to resist them in her many attempts to keep her walls up, but not today. She let them fall and how.
"I'm sorry was that me pushing it? I mean I know we never talked about how to label our relationship but I just thought because we said I love you that we would want to be exclusive and be boyfriend and girlfriend but we won't have to if you don't want to. I mean I do but.." Otis' rambling was interrupted by Maeve kissing him.
She kissed him partly because he would not stop talking but also because she just really wanted to kiss him.
"Of course, I want you to be my boyfriend. Dick head." Maeve said with a smile, before leaning in to kiss him again.
The voices in her head were still there and maybe they would always be, but Maeve decided to not focus on them. She decided to focus instead on how Otis' hands were in her hair and how he was kissing her as if his life depended on it.
