AN: exactly! 100 points for in-that-reason! :D

And Blerb, you are incredibly cute, thanks for reviewing regularly! (Same thanks to the other reviewers, too! You guys are great! And part of the reason why I'm so motivated to write this story.


Chapter 27: Dangerous Realization

The truth exposes some people so deeply; their last defense is to front a carefree insanity - Criss Jami

"Soul Binding. The Unbreakable Bond," Joelle read out. It was a thick book, she guessed it carried at least seven hundred pages. Judging by Tom's progress he must have almost been done with it. Joelle frowned. How much time would it take for somebody to read this? And understand?

"Marvolo, what are you planning?" She asked. Tom did not answer, he merely continued reading in silence. For a quick moment Joelle wanted to rip the book out of his hands and throw it into the fire, but decided against it as she did not really know what it truly was about. Maybe it was something completely different than what was on her mind? As if their souls could be united; silly. Just when she tried to ask, Tom closed the book and it dissolved into thin air - Joelle was sure he magically brought it to a place out of her reach.

"I will have to leave you again tomorrow," Tom then said. Joelle looked at him.

"Why?" She asked, but he did not answer, as always. It left Joelle with a strong sigh. Did she not learn it by now? Did she not learn that he wouldn't answer her questions?

"I hate staying here," she then admitted. Her eyes wandered over to the window again. Tom rubbed his chin, then got up, holding out his hand to her. Joelle glanced at it for a few seconds, as if making sure it was real, then hesitantly took it before they walked into the entrance hall together. Tom grabbed a dark coat and wrapped it around Joelle, pulling up the cape that now covered most of her face. They stared into each other's eyes while Tom tucked and fixed her robes, then simply pressed the flat of his hand to her back, leading her outside.

Joelle felt reborn. She smiled brightly upon the view and scent of the fresh aired scenery, letting herself being pulled over to the backside of the house and to a beautiful garden on top of the hill where Riddle manor towered. It didn't rain today, and even though it was incredibly cold, she felt warmer than before.

"It's beautiful," said Joelle, instinctively walking faster, but Tom slowed her down by squeezing on her hand. He was always so controlling. They glanced at each other for a quick moment, then looked to different directions again.

There were many words on Joelle's lips that kept hanging there without coming loose. Where would he go tomorrow? When would he be back? What will happen meanwhile? Will her life go on like this for years? Or will he, perhaps, realize how pointless it is? Will he understand that Joelle needed to spread her wings? Or would he make sure to keep her in this gilded cage? The more Joelle thought of it, the more she realized that she found it difficult to hope for any change that could turn her life into the better. She had trouble accepting it - but she knew that Bryan's life depended on her decision, which left her no other choice but to take whatever Tom had in stock for her. She narrowed her eyes. Should she have listened to her aunt when she had warned her back then? Would it have changed something? Why and when has Joelle become Tom's choice? Just because she was there?

"Because I was bored." Tom suddenly said. Joelle raised her head. What? Because he was bored? Then she frowned. Did he know what she was thinking?

"I chose you because I was bored," said Tom simply, not looking at her. So he indeed knew.

"The pictures in your head have been very rapidly moving ever since I got you back," he said. Joelle understood nothing - but she disliked that he could know these intimate things. Then it clicked. She remembered forbidding Tom to use this technique on her when he found a particular book in the library at Hogwarts. It had a strange name. Legli-something. Whatever the name was, Joelle knew better than to argue about it; she merely concentrated on what he actually said.

"You were bored?" She asked. "You decided to do all of these things when you were a child because...you were bored?"

"Were you expecting a deeper reason? A reason you may have read in silly novels, where everything happens because of oh so complex mechanisms and dynamics of compassion?"

Joelle looked away from him when he asked this, she could barely take his sharp tongue.

"It would have been easier for me to cope with all of this if only I knew it wasn't boredom that destroyed my life," she said firmly.

"You will have enough time to cope with it. I can assure you this, my dear," said Tom simply. The feeling of warmth was gone at once when they sat down on a bench and punished each other with mutual avoidance; building up walls of ice cold snow.

For a brief moment Joelle wondered if the only solution was melting completely; melting into nothingness and disappear - leaving everything behind, no worries, no sorrow, no unanswered questions. No questions at all.

"Death is never a solution," said Tom suddenly. Joelle glanced at him, then away again.

"Do you think I would let this happen?" He asked. "Let you slip away like that?"

"I want peace," said Joelle dryly. "That's all."

"Peace," Tom repeated with an amused tone. "How selfish of you."

"Selfish?" Joelle asked, her voice trembling in disbelief. "I am selfish? I?"

"That you are."

"Who made you the professor of selflessness?!" Joelle hissed. "You don't know what it means to sacrifice your own happiness."

Tom simply stared at Joelle when she said that, and she understood what it meant. Silence danced around them with the wind.

"What does your ideal future look like?" Tom suddenly asked while staring into the distance. His voice was calm and carried a tone in it that Joelle hasn't heard before, it almost sounded melancholic.

"Why don't you tell me?" Joelle asked with a frown.

"You don't imagine your future," said Tom. "You don't think of it."

Joelle stared at him again. He was right. It was difficult to imagine her life while being locked in this condition of uncertainty.

"I don't know," Joelle said truthfully after giving it some time to think. "I don't know."

"No cliché life? No wedding? No children? No tree in your garden?" Asked Tom, expanding the ever occurring silence that started to create its nest yet again. And just in that moment Joelle noticed the snowflakes that began to fall down from the sky. She looked up.

"A tree?" Joelle chuckled in realization. "A tree...where we built snowmen?"

Dinner was spent quietly. Joelle stared to the pumpkin cream soup in her bowl. Even though it tasted exquisite, she had trouble eating; as always.

"I know you don't consider me in the position to ask for any favor. But could you leave the elf go?"

Tom did not even look up from his bowl when she asked this. Surely he was prepared for this discussion long ago.

"There are creatures that are born to serve, Joelle. Patch is one of them."

"Since when are you a believer of the strength of predetermined destiny?" Joelle asked. "You, somebody who shapes and creates rather than accepts..."

"I appreciate your flattering. Now I must only teach you how to master it," said Tom smoothly, putting aside his bowl. Joelle huffed.

"Let's leave the arrogance out of this for once, Marvolo," she said sternly. Tom considered her; a subconscious reaction to the name she used.

"The elf will stay. He will provide you with meals," said Tom firmly.

"Martha said that my food tasted better when I was younger. She was right about it. I wasn't very motivated after Ellie died. But I do defend the position that I'm very much capable of cooking myself..."

Tom glanced at her then, a slight grin creeping up his lips, but he didn't comment.

"Whoah, wait!" Joelle frowned. "Are you implying I can't cook? Are- no." She crosses her arms when Tom chuckled voicelessly.

"Was it that bad?" Joelle then asked and Tom shook his head. "I haven't tasted better waffles anywhere," he said with a gentle smile.

Joelle grinned to herself and blushed a slight bit, then frowned upon a thought. She fell right into his trap of flattering. Tom smirked at her all the while watching her realizing this, but none of them commented it.

"To leave the jokes aside, I need some tasks. I need something to do," said Joelle then.

"Focus on your studies," said Tom. "You have a lot of theory to go."

"Why can't I come with you?" Joelle spluttered out before she could stop it. Was she an idiot? It was a good thing that Tom wasn't around her - the man who destroyed her life and that of many others. She needed to explain; maybe more to herself.

"Staying here with your puppets is driving me crazy," Joelle sighed.

"Puppets," Tom repeated in an amused murmur before he went on. "No, my dear. You cannot come with me tomorrow. There is something I need to take care of before I come back."

He needed to take care of something? The "taking care of what?" almost left Joelle's lips, but she could stop it just in time. Maybe rephrasing it could get her closer to what she truly wanted to know.

"I don't understand it. You want me to be in your life - yet you exclude me from most of it. Make up your mind, finally," said Joelle in a harsh tone that reflected the frustration she felt.

Tom stared at Joelle, his lips in a straight line like most of the time. He looked so apathetic. Joelle wondered if Tom had to tell himself not to show any emotions, or if this blankness was merely the mirror of his true environment of feelings. As always, Tom was above commenting most of whatever she said. Joelle growled to herself. How could somebody be so arrogant, yet cover it with such smoothness that it left her impressed?

"I must have built up the illusion for you that you, how did you word it, are excluded from my life," said Tom, sipping on his tea. "Quite in fact, you couldn't be included more than you already are."

"If this is as much as it gets then I don't know what little means to you," said Joelle, raising an eyebrow.

"I never said you were let in on how much you are included," said Tom. "I thought that was painfully obvious as it is."

"You leave me with more questions than answers. It gets a little unclear in this jungle of unspoken words - too easy to get lost," said Joelle.

"I told you that I will be back. That's more than you have ever left me with," said Tom colorlessly. Joelle scowled.

"I need more orientation than that. But if you are too busy tending to your wounds from the past, too busy hating me because I have left, too busy to hear me out...well, I suppose that's how it is. I can't help it," Joelle crossed her arms, looking away, knowing she just blocked the last bit of what was left of the chance of finding out more about Tom's plans.

"You will have to watch your tone with me, my dear. Your freedom of speech is not to be mistaken with freedom of content," his eyes flickered over to her. Joelle chuckled and shook her head. She didn't know where to start commenting, so she didn't comment at all.

Joelle watched from upstairs as Tom walked over to the door the next morning. He stopped for a second before he pushed down the door handle, turning around. He caught her staring. They looked at each other for a few more seconds before Tom merely turned around and left without another word. Joelle sighed, but jumped when Black walked up from behind and rested a hand on her shoulder.

"On time," she said to him. Black nodded with a faint smile.

"Do you know where he's going or what he's doing?" Joelle asked. Black did not comment at first, but then nodded.

"Yes, I do," he said. Joelle glanced to the left and right. She had to know, had to find out.

"Can't you tell me? I promise I won't tell him," Joelle hurried up when Black already turned his face away from her with a heavy sigh.

Joelle frowned. How could she get him to tell her? And she had an idea. She bit her bottom lip when Black looked away from her for dear life. She walked closer to him, taking his hand. Black frowned, but he did not dare to look at her when Joelle pulled him a little closer - and suddenly kissed his cheek softly.

"Tell me..." She purred into his ear and pushed his hands to her hips, allowing him to feel her up a little. Black's mouth was gapped open, he gulped and looked down to her body, then to her mouth. Joelle drew a little closer; blowing warm and damp breath onto Black's bottom lip as their bodies were pressed together. Their lips were almost touching, but just before they kissed, Joelle drew away, shaking her head. What was she doing?

"Ngh, I'm sorry," she stepped back. "How low can I sink...I was about to prostitute myself for an answer..." She ran a hand through her hair, not knowing what was happening to her sanity. Black bit his bottom lip, inhaling deeply when Joelle walked past him and patted his shoulder; he bent down a slight bit, glancing between his legs, then to the left and right, walking off to a bathroom as soon as Joelle disappeared.

Days passed. Nott and Lestrange took turns watching Joelle and teaching her more theory. By the end of the week, they gave her a little test to fill out, leaving the assessment to Tom, however. Joelle did not see Black ever since their last incident, but when Nott had to go because he caught a cold, he was back again. They sat in the library together, awkward silence around them.

"Look, about our little...embarrassing encounter the last time. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," said Joelle. Black forced a smile.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I got a little too carried away, too. I should have...pushed you away. Not that you would deserve being pushed away, I- I mean. Not that I would - or..." He paused and rubbed his fist against his forehead before he continued. "I just shouldn't have let it get that far. Even though...nothing happened. Nothing worth mentioning, I mean. Of course it's worth it, it's just-"

"Honey. Just be quiet, okay?" Joelle grinned while reading and Black cleared his throat, grinning back. They kept quiet as they studied together.

"He will come back tonight," Black suddenly said. Joelle looked up to him in concentration.

"And he asked me to pack your stuff with you," he said gently. Joelle frowned, not understanding.

"Pack? Where are we going?" Joelle asked. Black shook his head. "You and I aren't going anywhere. You and Tom are."

Whatever Black said, it left her with more questions than answers, so she stopped asking. She merely walked upstairs with him to pack the bag that Tom brought along when he had picked her up from the orphanage back then. Just when they added the last piece of fabric, the door of her bedroom opened. Tom leaned against the door frame, nudging his chin over his shoulder to motion Black to leave - which he did. Joelle rose up, fiddling around with the fabric of her dress as the door closed and Tom walked closer to her.

"We are leaving now," he said. Joelle glanced up. She knew Tom wouldn't answer the regular questions, so she asked something else.

"Is it going to be dangerous?" She asked.

"You are safe with me," said Tom.

"What if people recognize my face?" Joelle asked.

"You are safe with me," he said again, brushing her bottom lip with his thumb as he stared into her eyes, then bent down to pick up her bag. He grabbed her hand, then suddenly disappeared with a loud CRACK. It took a moment for Joelle to catch her breath and make the feeling of dizziness go away. At least she did not feel as nauseated as before when they first magically traveled.

"Why did we have to leave the manor?" Joelle asked as soon as her eyes fell on the small room they landed in. It beheld a closet and a large bed. It looked like a cheap hotel room.

"The manor will be in the possession of muggles by tomorrow," said Tom. "Not for long, of course. They have a tendency of moving out," a slight grin crept up his lips. Joelle was sure that Tom had something to do with it.

"Is it haunted?" She asked.

"Somewhat," said Tom. He put her bag into the closet, waving his wand at it. All their clothes hung in there at once. Joelle couldn't help but admire even that little bit of life magic that made life a tad easier. Tom stripped off of his cloak; only now Joelle noticed the black suit he was wearing. He looked incredibly good in it.

"Why the formal attire?" She asked when Tom walked over to her to help her out of her dark cloak as well.

"It so happens that clothes help a business bloom," said Tom. "Put a homeless into a suit and you can sell them about anything."

"You have your own business?" Joelle asked with a surprised tone. Tom shook his head.

"I was working for a business until today," said Tom, catching Joelle when she accidentally stumbled backwards. She blushed as she looked away, not wanting to see Tom's grin.

"Clumsy as always," he sighed. Joelle huffed, but had to realize that something was different. Tom seemed to be in a fairly good mood; he answered her questions after all.

"Is it just me or are you a tad more positive?"

"Joelle, let me ask you some questions myself," Tom said, sitting down with her on the bed. Joelle stared into his eyes.

"Do you remember when I asked you, a long time ago, if you wanted to live forever if you could?"

Joelle nodded, raising an eyebrow. For a brief moment Joelle wondered if Tom found a way to live forever - or if he worked on it, but then she chuckled and shook her head. It was too silly an idea. Nobody could be immortal.

"I was wondering what you think about it today. Back then...you did not exactly answer the question," he said.

"Imagine you live to witness all the upcoming wars on this planet..." Said Joelle softly. "Time has changed. Maybe I would have answered yes back then. Maybe I could have imagined to live forever. When I thought that it would be worth it. But it's not worth it," she looked away. Joelle was sure to catch a slight scowl from Tom, but when she looked, his face was as blank as it always was. The atmosphere changed, though.

Silence, their old friend, greeted them again as they sat next to each other on the bed. The wind was blowing outside; the only sound for the next while. The fire of the candles danced in the room. Joelle frowned when suddenly, a hand rested on her thigh, squeezing on it to grasp her attention. Joelle's eyes widened when she turned her face to Tom, seeing some kind of red, demonic glimpse in his irises. She gasped, scooting away a bit, but Tom only smirked.

Joelle always thought that Tom had something planned for her, but now she knew it was worse than that. Tom had long left he stage of planning behind. He pulled her closer, cupping her terrified face - and sealed this realization with a kiss to her forehead.