Chapter 30: The Birds

Attraction is beyond our will or ideas sometimes - Juliette Binoche

Joelle looked into Tom's eyes in disbelief, shaking her head. She couldn't voice her thoughts, couldn't voice her level of shock.

"You can't- you can't make me immortal!" Was all she was able to croak out. Tom chuckled tauntingly; a tinge of pity was audible in his tone.

"You're mistaken. I can," he said gently and kissed her lips again. Joelle had trouble pushing Tom away because he knew how to keep her down. She felt sick, she felt powerless, and as he continued to kiss her, Joelle was forced back into her memory. She was under John. Joelle's heart beat faster, she shook her head in denial and screamed against Tom's lips, pushing him off in a moment of empowering strength caused by panic. She scooted away as soon as Tom let go of her; watching her trying to catch her breath in quick pants of fear; her hand on her chest. Tom rubbed his chin in a thought.

"You need time. We will have enough of that, my dear. Don't fret," he whispered soothingly and stroked through Joelle's hair. All of this, however, made Joelle even more nervous.

"I don't want to live forever..." She said. "I want to see my mother again, I don't want-"

"There is no life after death, Joelle. Life is here on earth. You won't be seeing anyone after you die," said Tom firmly.

"That's what you believe! That's not what I believe!" Joelle yelled, but Tom grabbed her chin to make her look into his eyes.

"There. Is. No. Life. In death."

"Then why do ghosts exist? Isn't that proof that something happens after we die?" Joelle asked. Tom looked at her with sharp and thin lips, but he held nothing against her argumentation.

"That's a stupid comparison," he merely said and let go of her abruptly. Joelle glared.

"You will not betray me of my right to see my mother again!" She growled upon which Tom's head spun towards her in fury, he pushed her down onto her back, whispering against her lips. "You're still not done paying your debts," and then he withdrew from her. But he wasn't done. "Your little escape earlier made me wonder about how much you truly care about Bryan. Even though you knew that running puts him in danger, you still chose to flee. Selfish. Once more, very, very selfish. That's what you can do best, right, Joelle?"

"You dare to speak about selfishness," Joelle muttered hatefully. "You above all," she glared, suddenly screaming with rage. "YOU ABOVE ALL! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" She screamed and grabbed the unicorn book on the nightstand, throwing it Tom's way, but he ducked just in time and it crashed against the wall. Joelle broke out in hysterical tears when Tom merely laughed coldly and got up, walking towards the door. She knew at once where he would go now.

"COME BACK! LEAVE BRYAN ALONE!" Joelle yelled and stumbled after Tom, but he was already out of the room before she could reach his level. Joelle's hand grabbed the cold metal of the door handle, her heart was racing. To her surprise, the door opened with a loud screeching sound. She stepped out warily. For a brief moment she forgot where she was, but remembered it was Riddle manor. Joelle walked downstairs, seeing that everything was dark.

Realization crept into her consciousness once more. Tom left to kill Bryan now. Even though she did not agree with anything else that Tom said or did, here he was right. Bryan would die. And it was her fault. Tarik's death. The death of the other officers. The inhabitants of Wool's orphanage. It was all her fault. Tom was right, she was selfish. Bitter tears streamed down Joelle's cheeks as she slid down the wall, hugging around her legs to block out the world and let in some comfort - but none of it came. Joelle couldn't remember ever feeling this miserable. And then a thought came to her mind. Her mother was dead. Her aunt was dead. Bryan would die. But Tom. Tom did not yet perform the ritual of soul binding. If Joelle ever had a chance to truly escape him, it would be now. She got up from the cold floor, shakily walking downstairs and into the kitchen. She glanced to the left and right to check if Patch was there, but he wasn't. Trying not to think about what Tom has done to the elf, she roamed around in the plenty of drawers; and soon found what she was looking for. Joelle pulled out a silvery and sharp knife. The moonlight glistened in the wide blade until something familiar caught her attention. She looked into her own reflection. She stared into her eyes. Weak, coward and scared. Joelle saw a woman that was foreign to her. A woman that preferred to give up. A woman that she did not know. Joelle has become her own stranger. She shook her head with a scowl. No. This was not the end, Joelle promised herself. This is not how it would end. Just when Joelle was about to put down the knife, a loud noise from behind startled her.

"JOELLE!" Yelled a man, running closer. He instantly knocked the knife out of her hand, rustling and pulling on her arms, checking her whole body in panic. It was Black. He kept muttering under his breath in sheer fear while he made sure that Joelle was unharmed, and no matter how often she tried to explain herself, he did not listen.

"I-I didn't, I didn't want to-"

"Are you completely out of your mind?! He would kill me if you were- if- if something happened!" He held her head in her hands as if to yell the sense into her. Joelle inhaled deeply, whispering with a dry throat, but it was to no use. Black didn't listen. Instead, he waved his wand and some clinking sounds in the back of the kitchen were audible. Five minutes later they sat in the salon together, drinking some tea. None of them spoke a word, until Black broke the silence.

"I need to tell him what you tried, Joelle," he said. Joelle's eyes glanced up to him.

"Do whatever you think you have to do. Unlike me, you have a choice," she said almost accusingly. Black looked at her, and it reminded Joelle of a child that has just learned a lesson. Joelle did not know what exactly Black thought of right now, but he must have realized something. Whatever it was, he looked at her with a faint intrigued expression.

When Joelle woke up the next morning, she was startled when she saw Tom beside her. He was awake, staring at her dumbfounded expression that slowly contorted into a scowl. "So, how did it go? Killing Bryan?" She wanted to ask sharply, but she didn't. She turned around, her back facing Tom, who did not respond at first. But when he did, Joelle shuddered.

"I have heard about your little attempt yesterday evening," he said gently, but with that famous melody in his tone that sounded like a silent threat; lingering, luring. Joelle knew by experience that responding to him in this state only made things worse.

"Do you no want to answer me, Joelle?" Tom asked as if giving her a choice. Joelle glanced over her shoulder, then away again when suddenly, she felt pulled back roughly by her arm. Tom ripped her below himself, glaring. Joelle's lips were parted when he grabbed around her chin so tightly that it hurt. He was unpredictable.

"You won't run again," he whispered against her lips with so much acid in his voice that Joelle could almost feel the blisters forming inside her. She gulped, tried to speak, but Tom did not let go of her chin yet. He stared at her with his red gleam, but his eyebrows twitched together when he saw silvery tears escaping the corners of Joelle's eyes. She did not sniffle, did not twitch, it was as though she was a living statue - stiff and cold; just a little life leaking through. Tom kept staring at her for the longest while before he finally let go, at last realizing that the more he had her, the more she left him.

"Why are you so obsessed with me..." Joelle asked; not making it clear whether or not she wanted to receive an answer to that ever so pressing question. Tom took advantage of this little loophole and did not respond. Instead, he got up from the bed to pace around the room. If Joelle still had something to lose, she would be nervous now. But she had nothing to lose anymore. Still yet, her eyes widened when Tom aimed his wand at her with a glare. They looked at each other until the scowl on Tom's face disappeared and he lowered his arm with painful slowness.

Weeks passed. Weeks in which both Joelle and Tom have punished each other with silence. Joelle stared out of the large window front in the salon, watching the birds flying around through the sun rays happily. Her lips formed up into a bright smile, she closed her eyes, then jumped back when Tom was next to her as soon as she opened her eyes. He said nothing; he just observed every breath she took.

"Why did you teach me magic?" Joelle suddenly asked.

"Every witch and wizard has a magical signature. You needed to train yours," Tom said, but Joelle interrupted. "What's a magical signature?"

"A magical signature is like your own handwriting. It is unique," Tom said. Joelle didn't understand where he was going with this, but she decided to change the subject. She looked out of the window again.

"Is this the life you always wanted, Marvolo?" She asked. Tom stood next to her, looking out of the window as well. He did not respond for a while, until he broke the silence, but talked about something else.

"I had changed my mind when I left. He's not dead," Tom said. Joelle frowned. "Bryan? He's alive?" She asked in disbelief. Tom nodded with an unreadable expression - an expression that gave Joelle no information on his sincerity. It wasn't unlike Tom to manipulate Joelle. Maybe he just wanted her to believe Bryan was alive while in fact he was dead. But what if he spoke the truth? What if Bryan was alive? What if Tom really changed his mind - what if Joelle changed him a bit? Just a bit? Could she change him more? Joelle glanced at the birds that flew around Riddle manor despite having the choice to be somewhere else. This inspired her.

"I have changed my mind, too," Joelle declared. Tom glanced at her.

"I want to give it a chance. Give you a chance. Like I did with Hogwarts," she said, not receiving the opportunity to see Tom's perplex face once she spun her head to him again.

"What changed your mind?" Tom asked.

"It's all I have left. If I can't stop you, then maybe giving in is the way to go. Don't mistake this as weakness, Marvolo, or giving up. What I do is nothing else but fighting," she said and looked at him with her usual strictness. Tom looked back at her, and his lips stretched up into either a victorious grin - or, for once, a sincere smile. Joelle wasn't very sure. She just turned back around to watch the birds again.

Tom and Joelle sat together around the dining table, eating the food that Joelle cooked. She saw that Tom was oddly quiet even though he had no reason to be, now that she basically agreed to stop fighting him.

"Marvolo, can you tell me about that signature thing again? Do I have to be taught more magic?" Joelle asked. Tom looked into her eyes; he seemed slightly amused.

"Have to be? You make it sound like a burdensome task. Magic is a privilege, Joelle. You are a witch. And I have just recently realized how much you are..." He murmured more to himself. Joelle didn't understand what he meant by that, but she continued asking.

"You don't want me to split my soul, do you? Is that why you teach me? So I can perform that ritual?" She asked. Tom's eyes widened for the split of a second; something about that question seemed to trouble him.

"There is no way I would allow you to use any kind of dark magic," he said sternly. Joelle looked at him in confusion. Joelle would never want to; but she was unaware of the fact that Tom didn't want her to do it, either.

"Why not? You taught your friends-"

"They're not my friends."

"Well, you taught your...comrades. It doesn't seem to bother you that they can do it."

Tom shook his head. "I taught them so they can use any means necessary to take care of you whenever I'm not around," he said softly, chewing on his potatoes. Joelle thought about it a little, then remembered the curse thrown at her by Avery. She mentally cringed thinking about the feeling of pain.

"I'll take a bath," Joelle then said and got up after they were done eating. Tom nodded, watching her walking off. He leaned back, narrowing his eyes while rubbing his chin and biting his bottom lip in a thought while his eyes followed Joelle. He pushed himself off of the chair.

Joelle unlocked the door to the nice bathroom. It beheld a large dark and stony bathtub placed in the center of the sun flooded room. Milky windows let in bright orange light of the sunset - Joelle felt oddly warm even after she stripped off her clothes and enjoyed the nice atmosphere. It caused her shivers when the warm air danced on her skin; until she felt a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, and Joelle realized that the nice warm air came from Tom breathing on her neck on which he planted short and soft kisses, squeezing her a bit tighter. Joelle almost exploded with chills.

"Marvolo..." She whispered when Tom turned her around to face her, his forehead pressed against hers. "Shhh..." He purred with eyes narrowed in passion.

Joelle said no more. Instead, she closed her eyes as well and let the warmth take over - let Tom take over.