A/N: This was written in a state of inspiration and sleep deprivation. Hope you guys like it xx
Also, on a different but v important note, please take care of yourselves and stay safe!
Maeve had been going to therapy for a few weeks now. Despite having occasional moments riddled with doubt, where she wondered why she was doing any of it, she had been doing better for the most part.
She was trying to learn how to not bottle up each and every emotion she could possibly feel, she was finally starting to say out loud all the things that made her scared, the things that made her feel like she wasn't good enough.
Otis on the other hand hadn't been doing as well. He felt miserable. He missed Maeve, he missed how she could make him feel worthy with just one look. He'd acted on impulse and wrecked the best thing in his life. And as much as he hated to admit it, this was textbook Remi behaviour.
He wanted to be able to tell Maeve how he wanted to take it all back, to pick up where they left off but he wasn't sure he had the right to do that anymore. So he stuck to stealing glances whenever she was near and hoping that he would be able to catch her eye. Earlier, even after their 'break', he would often find Maeve looking his way but now it was beginning to feel like she was actively ignoring him, which was how Otis knew he had fucked up.
"Are you just going to stare at her or are you actually going to go talk to her?" Eric asked, snapping Otis out of his thoughts.
"How long have you been here?" Otis asked, visibly startled.
"About five minutes. I was trying to tell you something about Adam and I but that's obviously impossible when you're in your Maeve trance." Eric said.
"My Maeve trance?" Otis asked.
"Yeah, it's when you're so busy staring at Maeve that you basically develop natural noise-cancelling abilities. You also seem to think you're the hero of a 1940s romantic comedy where if you stare at her hard enough from across the room, you'll be able to marry her." Eric said.
"That's..." Otis began but he had no idea how to defend himself, he knew Eric was right.
"Completely accurate, so don't even try to deny it. Now instead of just standing here being weird, go and speak to her." Eric said.
"I don't know what to say to her." Otis said.
"Just make something up about the clinic." Eric said.
"That's not a bad idea." Otis said.
"Of course, it's not, no go." Eric said, pushing Otis in Maeve's direction.
Otis walked as slowly as humanly possible, hoping that he would figure out what to say on his walk over.
"Hey." Otis said.
"Hey." Maeve said, looking kind of startled as she turned away from her locker and faced Otis.
"I wanted to talk to you about something." Otis said, the nervousness evident in his quivering voice.
Maeve nodded for him to continue, hoping with her whole heart that he was going to ask her to take him back, ask her to forget everything that happened and just get back to what they used to be.
"There's a new client for the clinic and I was wondering if you were up for taking them on." Otis said, as he played with his fingers.
Maeve was honestly speechless. This was literally the last thing she wanted to hear. She didn't care about the clinic right now and the fact that that seemed to be the only thing Otis wanted to talk to her about, made her so mad she was worried she was going to punch a whole into a wall.
"Sure. Whatever." Maeve said, walking away.
Otis just stood there, watching her walk away. He was kind of hoping the clinic thing could be a segway into them talking about their relationship but that had clearly back fired. He didn't want Maeve to think he only cared about the clinic, the truth was there was no client, he just wanted to hear her voice again. Maybe that was what he should have told her instead of making her feel like he only cared about her because of the clinic.
Maeve effectively stormed into Dr. Smith's office.
"Hi Maeve, how are you?" Dr. Smith asked, she could clearly sense how worked up Maeve was but chose not say anything.
"I'm great, I'm perfect." Maeve said, pacing around the room.
"You want to tell me about what's going on?" Dr. Smith asked.
"Oh, there's nothing going on, that's the point." Maeve said.
Dr. Smith chose to stay quiet, wanting Maeve to continue on her own.
"So, Otis came up to me today and asked me if I wanted to take on a new client for the sex clinic we've been running at school." Maeve said
"You've been running a sex clinic?" Dr. Smith asked.
"Yeah, his mom is a sex therapist so he gives advice to kids at school. That's not the point." Maeve said.
"What is the point then?" Dr. Smith asked.
"The point is that after all this time, this is all he had to say to me." Maeve said.
"What would you have wanted him to say to you?" Dr. Smith asked.
"I don't know? I love you Maeve? Let's make this work?" Maeve said, almost as if she was trying to quiz the woman in front of her.
"And you're hurt that he chose to speak to you about the clinic instead?" Dr. Smith asked.
Maeve shot the therapist an annoyed look for stating the obvious.
"So, what did you say?" Dr. Smith asked.
"What do you mean?" Maeve asked, finally sitting down for the first time since the session had begun.
"When Otis asked you about the client, what did you say?" Dr. Smith asked.
"I said sure, whatever." Maeve said.
"Why?" Dr. Smith asked.
"What do you mean why?" Maeve asked, starting to get a little irritated.
"I mean that it really seems like you don't want to do this, so why did you say yes?" Dr. Smith asked.
"Because, I don't know." Maeve said.
"Are you sure?" Dr. Smith asked, purposefully trying to push Maeve a little.
"I want to be around Otis but I also don't." Maeve said.
"Why is that?" Dr. Smith asked.
"You have to stop asking me why." Maeve said, the annoyance etched on her face.
Dr. Smith just smiled in return, urging Maeve to go on.
"Because I love him, I really do but I'm also really mad at him." Maeve said.
Dr. Smith chose not to ask why this time and decided to let Maeve continue on her own.
"The truth is that everything is on his terms, he chose when to walk away and as much as I wish I could deny it, f he asked me to get back together, I would do it in a heartbeat. And while I know he's a great guy, I can't help but feel like he abandoned me." Maeve said.
"Abandoned you how?" Dr. Smith asked.
"He left because I was indecisive, because I never could fully trust that someone would stick around. He always made it seem like this was something he wanted to help me work through but ended up doing exactly what everyone else did." Maeve said.
Maeve had known of all this, she knew why she was angry, why she was hurt. But saying the words out loud felt like such a liberating experience, as if she wasn't trying to fight the fact that these feelings existed in the first place.
"Maeve, today you were upset and you didn't close yourself off. You came here and dealt with it; you were honest with yourself. I think you're making great progress." Dr. Smith said with a small smile.
Maeve couldn't help but smile back. There were very few instances when Maeve felt like she had done something right and for the first time despite things being messy, she felt like she had done what was best for her – something she had never been good at doing.
She knew she loved Otis; she knew she wanted him back. But maybe for now, it was best for them to be a part, for them to figure themselves out. To be complete individuals before they came back together.
