Chapter 40: For Luck

Luck is where opportunity meets preparation - Seneca

"You know, despite it being somewhat around August, the air smells rather fresh," said Joelle, walking next to Tom through the forest. "It's obvious that fall is knocking on the door."

"Your favorite season, isn't it?" Tom asked. Joelle nodded, a part of her was surprised about the many details Tom was able to keep in his head about her.

"The bright colors are gorgeous. And I love the scent of an early morning sunrise, when the orange light shines through the fog and breathes in life for the day," Joelle said.

"Fall is the season in which everything dies," said Tom, but Joelle shook her head. "Fall is the season that prepares for a new beginning. We just have to be a little patient and enjoy the process of change. Fall allows us to start over new again."

Tom looked at Joelle when she said the last few words. Very intensively, and very clearly. Words were no longer necessary to describe what Tom thought of at this moment, right when Joelle said what she said. Joelle cleared her throat and looked away, up to the leafs. They seemed ready to change. Was she ready, too?

Silence, their old friend embraced them once more. Silence, Joelle thought, was very powerful, always knowing when it's best to show up. What did the two of them have? What was okay? What was not? Was it okay to admit that still, after so many years, that still, after everything that has happened, he did mean something, just a tiny little something to her? Tom used to be Joelle's best friend back then. He had saved her when she needed help most. Something like that does something between two people.

"Where are we going anyway?" Joelle then asked.

"Here," Tom handed over something. It was Joelle's wand. She smiled once her hand wrapped around the long piece of wood, feeling the magic pulsing through her veins. Joelle liked that feeling, it made her feel connected.

"So what now?" She asked excitedly and glanced up. But Tom was gone. Joelle frowned and looked every which way, not understanding. She peeked around the trees, figuring that perhaps Tom had to relieve his bladder.

"Really, couldn't you have gone in the hotel?" Joelle sighed, crossing her arms and waited patiently. But nothing happened for the next few minutes. Joelle realized that she was alone. Tom was nowhere, did not step back around any of the trees. He was gone.

"Marvolo?" Joelle asked in a serious tone. "Where are you?" She looked around a bit nervously now. She was in the middle of a forest, far away from the hotel, not knowing how to get back by herself. "This isn't funny!" She yelled, then glanced at her wand. Was there any way to get him back through magic?

Joelle stared at her wand, desperately flicking it as if she expected this to be a proper spell to cast magic, but of course nothing happened. She tried it again and again, glancing to the tip as if to see a tiny bit of magic flowing from it- but nothing. A growl of frustration escaped her lips while she shook the wand again, pointing it towards a tree, and then gasped at the sight ahead of her. The wand instantly fell into the leafs. She froze to the spot. She couldn't move, couldn't budge, Joelle was a living statue.

"Hello, Joelle. Long time no see, my dear," a voice cooed, making the hair on Joelle's neck stand up. Styled blond hair shone in the silvery fog around the tree, cold eyes and a firm jaw pointed at Joelle who was paralyzed from angst. In front of her, leaning against the tree, stood none other than John Lawrence.

"How, how could you, how-" Joelle stammered and managed walked backwards, shaking her head. "Marvolo!" She shrieked. "MARVOLO!"

But no Marvolo came. Joelle's heart beat rapidly against her chest. Boom. Boom. Boom. She frantically looked for the wand on the ground while John's cold laughter thrusted into her consciousness. He has not yet moved, he was still leaning against the tree as if he knew that he would get Joelle anytime - and Joelle, after having had enough experience with the man knew that she could not run fast enough. She never could.

He began to walk closer.

"STAY AWAY! STAY AWAY!" She cried out in raw panic. Boom. Boom. Boom. Her heart almost jumped out of her mouth, her breathing got shorter, she felt it thinning out, more and more. John laughed.

"Didn't think I would find you, hm? It was so easy. Oh, hey, where are you going?" He asked amused when, at last, Joelle's legs seemed to work again. She had the wand grasped around her hand firmly as she ran, her weight almost giving in, shaky muscles causing her to sway against trees and stumble over roots. And John was right on her heels.

"No, NO! MARVOLO! MARVOLO HELP!" Joelle screamed with a raspy throat, feeling the physical contact behind her drawing closer - John almost had her. Joelle's legs gave in at last, she crashed down into the wet leafs, instantly turning over to crawl backwards. She desperately raised her wand at John, but the latter merely laughed again. Joelle cried hysterically.

"Your wand!" A voice shouted from behind. "Use your wand!"

Tom. Joelle did not know where he was, but the wand merely fell out of her shaky hand again. She didn't see when it happened nor how, but within the next second, Tom was beside her, swiftly waving his wand ahead. John disappeared into nothingness; was gone. She cried against his chest, panicked and hiccuping, trying to tell him everything, but it only came out as inaudible gibberish.

"Joelle. He was just a boggart, calm down," Tom whispered, but Joelle didn't hear him, she looked around frantically. "Where is he?!" She shrieked again.

"Not here. He wasn't real. It was a boggart."

Joelle stared at Tom when he said that, she didn't understand, but she knew that she had to stop moving in order to comprehend what was going on. Her eyebrows twitched together.

"A boggart," Tom stared upon her confused face. "Is a creature that will turn into what you fear most. I wanted you to train with it-"

"You...what...?" Joelle asked breathlessly, pushing away from Tom.

"I wanted you to become stronger," said Tom with a firm and clear tone, it was as though he did not meet Joelle in her fear at all, he was cold and reserved, concentrated. And he was something that Joelle guessed to be disappointed; he was disappointed in her, yes, perhaps annoyed of her.

"I thought you would do better. All you do is sob and scream for help. You're weak," Tom then said, his cold eyes stared into hers. Joelle bit her bottom lip in attempts not to cry or yell. Five minutes ago she was under the impression that her worst nightmare came for her, but it was Tom, for whom she called out, Tom causing her such fear. Before he could say yet another word, a loud CLASP echoed throughout the silent forest. Joelle didn't have a large hand, but the whole size of it was a red imprint on Tom's cheek. His face turned back to her slowly, eyes narrowed in destructive anger, but he was taken aback by the wand that was aimed at him, little red sparks coming from its tip.

"How low can you sink..." she hissed darkly. Tom's mouth was in a straight line until the corners of his lips twitched up. He smirked. "Go ahead," he murmured huskily, almost mocking, "curse me."

Joelle gritted her teeth. She didn't know any curses at all and the sheer will to hurt him wasn't enough to cause any more than a few more sparks erupting from the tip of her wand. Tom's smirk turned upside down, only now was it clear that he did not exactly wait on anything to happen, for he knew his Joelle would never be able to bring up enough hate to harm anyone. He ripped the wand out of her hand, then scooted over to her, resting against the tree like she did. Joelle's face was turned away from him, Tom stared up to the sky covered by the trees. He inhaled deeply, wanting to say something, but Joelle cut him off.

"Why him, out of all..." Joelle whispered.

"I did not know the boggart would turn into him."

"That's a lie," Joelle said, looking up to Tom. He only glanced at her when he knew he had no other choice.

"You above all would know what terrifies me the most," she said. Tom's expression remained unchanged. He did not respond, so Joelle went on. "And you forbade me to be trained in curses and-"

"I will never allow you to use dark magic," Tom suddenly growled.

"Then what did you expect to happen today?" Joelle shook her head in disbelief.

"There's more than curses to protect yourself with," Tom scowled. "Most witches and wizards are able to perform greatly when facing strong emotions."

"I've told you years ago that none of my magic ever worked when I was around John. He paralyzed me."

"And this was the right moment to overcome that, to defend yourself, to let your magic break through for once," Tom said. Joelle actually listened to his reasoning, then looked ahead, the scowl on her face vanishing. Did Tom merely want to help her? She glanced at him again, but he was busy observing her wand, twisting the wood in his fingers. "Too pure," he whispered to himself before he got up, holding his hand out to her. Joelle took it and Tom pulled her against himself. "I will bring back the boggart. He will return into John again-"

"No, no, please-"

"Face your fears. I will be here," Tom said sternly. But Joelle shook her head in reluctance, tears began to glisten in her eyes again.

"Ridikkulus is the most common spell used to be rid of a boggart. You'll have to imagine something funny and let the boggart turn into that instead, it won't be scary anymore."

"I wouldn't even know what to think of with John," said Joelle honestly. "Marvolo, please...I can't..."

"Hmm," Tom pursed his lips. "Well, perhaps now isn't the right time. We will come back to that soon. You should think about something meanwhile."

Joelle nodded, exhaling deeply. Tom pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. He knew what she needed now and he knew that giving her some warmth in a troubling time like this would be beneficial for him. It would draw her closer, make her a little more obedient.

"Are we going back to the hotel?" Joelle asked. Tom shook his head. "Oh, we aren't going back there at all," he whispered. Joelle frowned. "What do you mean?" She asked. "We've just been there for one night."

"We can't risk to stay anywhere for more than one day. We will be here to camp."

"Camp? In a tent?" Joelle asked stupidly. Tom didn't even bother giving her a response, he simply waved his wand and a small but big enough tent appeared. Joelle peeped her head inside; for some reason she expected this to look like something else, but in the end it was just an ordinary tent.

"There are enchanted tents that function like houses. Pretty little things, I couldn't come by one of those, however," said Tom, crawling into the tent after Joelle. "That would've had saved us the trouble of finding hotels and such. But Lestrange, that clumsy fool..." Tom gritted his teeth. Joelle didn't seem to understand but she didn't ask along.

"Are we just going to lay here?" Joelle asked. Tom nodded. "Until nightfall."

"What'll happen then?" Joelle asked insecurely, but Tom did not comment. Instead, he pulled her against his chest. "You need to trust me more, my dear."

"Because you're giving me all the reasons, right?" She grumbled. Tom chuckled. "Did you really think I would let him get to you?"

"I don't know, I didn't think. I thought perhaps he had been following us the whole time and that you're gone because he attacked you-"

"You think a muggle could hurt me?" Tom laughed. "You clearly don't know anything about me or what I'm capable of."

"Oh, I know more than you think," said Joelle grimly. "So what's your boggart?"

Tom's eyes narrowed, he looked away, not responding. Joelle sat up in front of him. "Not fair, you've seen what I'm scared of most, despite it being intimate, you didn't-"

"Take a look out of the tent," said Tom after waving his wand. When Joelle glanced over to the entrance, looking through, she let out a loud gasp, her hands clasped against her mouth. Over yonder she, Joelle, lay, eyes open and glassy, skin paler than the faintest shade of blue. Stiff and cold.

Tom's boggart was Joelle's corpse.

Joelle pulled her head back inside, looking at Tom with an expression that didn't allow her to say anything else but nothing.

"That's so romantic," she eventually said, breaking the deadly silence with something comical. Tom couldn't help but chuckle at her stupid comment, then got up and waved his wand again, letting the boggart disappear. Joelle didn't know how he did it, but it worked. Whatever Tom did, it always worked. They settled back down together and Joelle let her thoughts loop around, she wondered about many things. She wasn't surprised that the boggart had something to do with her, but she caught herself surprised that her death seemed to be what he feared most, made him vulnerable. It wasn't another man Tom saw her with, it wasn't Joelle running away. It was Joelle being gone forever.

"I..." Joelle stammered. She wanted to talk to him about this and something else that was connected to the topic, but Tom gave her a harsh glance.

"You will listen to me now, Marvolo," Joelle said sternly. It was in her typical melody from back then when Tom was still a child. It triggered something within him, good or bad he did not know.

"I don't want to hear it," he hissed. But Joelle glared. "Then again, you will!" She spat back. Tom sat up and glared at her.

"Don't make me hostile," he murmured. "Because that's how you do it."

"Just tell me why. Why do you not want to hear it? It's not even a long story, I don't know what you expect to hear-"

"Silliness is what I expect to hear. How could you leave me behind when you knew how important it was for me that you stay?!"

Joelle's heart beat faster, this was as close as she got to the topic being addressed.

"Marvolo," she started calmly, but Tom had already turned his face away. Joelle caught his hand, squeezing on it. "It was me who triggered your fascination for dark magic-"

"Pfshe," Tom grunted. "Is that what lovely Dumbledore told you?"

"You started reading all those things because you wanted to make sure that I stay. I know it, I wasn't blind just because I chose to look away for a very long time." Joelle squeezed Tom's hand a little tighter, but he pulled it away in spite as he looked into her eyes.

"Hear me out-"

"Silliness, just as expected," Tom murmured. "You're so naive. Are you really really under the impression that I wouldn't have picked up those books either way?"

"Yes. It is what I truly believe. I truly believe," she tried to catch his eyes.

"Then what on earth made you believe that it would stop when you leave me behind?!" Tom suddenly yelled, whirling around. Joelle wasn't sure how exactly it happened that Tom had those moments where he was completely calm, unshaken, not emotional the least, and then exploded like this, unpredictably and amazingly scary. Joelle backed away. But she had no answer.

"As you said, I'm naive," she whispered. "Maybe, yes, it was naive of me to think that when I'm gone, you would be able to focus. I admit that I was wrong, awfully wrong, but it's because I've always believed that you are truly just a child. I was wrong, Marvolo, but I just meant well. I always have," She rested her hand on her arm. Tom's strong and angry panting slowly calmed down.

"Dumbledore never agreed with me," Joelle suddenly said. Tom had to throw his head back in surprise, even his stoic expression was slightly stricken.

"He wanted me to stay. For you. He said that I am what keeps you sane. He said that things will be different in a few years, better. He made me an offer that was beyond anything I could have ever asked for," Joelle inhaled deeply. "He wanted me to become a student in my final year, he wanted to put me in Slytherin, wanted me to study with you, said I didn't have to graduate if I didn't want to, wanted to arrange everything. But I said-"

"No," Tom whispered. "You said no..."

Joelle was quiet, she lowered her head. Silence, silence was there again. Awful, mocking silence. Tom broke it with a cynical snort.

"Now I understand," he murmured. Joelle looked up to Tom in a manner that showed she was scared of what he would say next.

"You have come to realize what you've done. You have come to realize that everything would have been different had you not declined Dumbledore's offer back then. Yes, I understand. You are as guilty as I am. The murders wouldn't have happened. I can see it now, Joelle. That's why you're so compliant. You think you can make it better this way. Your confession is nothing but selfishness. You want to feel better after realizing you are as bad as I am."

Joelle's face paled. Tom read her clearly.

And he was right. About every single word he said, he was right.

"You know there is only one way to make it better. You have to face your destiny," he murmured and gently pushed her onto her back. Joelle looked up to him, he was lowering himself down next to her. Joelle glanced at him, but turned her face away again.

Joelle's confession was Tom's opportunity.