Chapter 44: Joelle's Sacrifice
Life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act - Paulo Coelho
A good amount of time passed, Joelle counted the seventeenth day Tom was gone. In no time at all, cold November was knocking on the door. Joelle was not very talkative and ignored Avery to the best of her ability. To be truthful, she was sure he did not even notice that she was avoiding him - they seemed to share the same strategy. But that wasn't the only thing. Joelle slept on the couch despite Avery insisting that she would take his bed. No, of course this wasn't a first attempt to be kinder, it was Avery's fear of getting in trouble with Tom should the latter find out that Joelle had to sleep on a couch while prince Avery was in the comfortable bed. Joelle did not want to. She couldn't sleep in a stranger's bed - let alone of one who wanted her gone.
"Here." Avery pushed a plate Joelle's way. It was rice with vegetables; Avery was a decent cook. Still yet, Joelle had eaten just enough to make sure he wouldn't complain.
"Thank you," Joelle said lightly and sat upright. Avery's eyes glanced over to her in a first reaction, it was as if it angered him that Joelle refused to lose elegance, she wouldn't yell at him and wouldn't shout, wouldn't hiss, wouldn't bicker. She left those things for Tom. With others she was kind. She gave him no real reason to dislike her - yet he did. Avery huffed in another thought.
"You're nearly as tense as Marvolo always is. Relax," said Joelle. Instead of a glare, Joelle received somewhat of a calmer look. Apparently Avery liked being compared to Tom.
"I am relaxed," Avery then said. "What about me makes you think otherwise?"
"You value the opinion of a woman?" Joelle asked with a fake smile. Whatever relaxed state Avery was in, he left it. He narrowed his eyes steadily, then simply unfolded the newspaper with a quick, loud noise while dragging his eyes away from the girl that jumped in her seat upon the sudden sound. Avery grinned. "Your precious Marvolo must've leashed out on you a couple of times. Disciplining you. You wouldn't have jumped in your seat otherwise, hearing just the sound of paper."
"Sorry, but not all women get beaten 24/7," said Joelle.
"That is indeed a pity," said Avery. Joelle smiled.
"Why are you smiling."
"Here he goes again, valuing the opinion of a woman," said Joelle. Avery's face darkened.
"I wonder what he sees in you. Because despite your...heritage," apparently Avery wasn't allowed to call her a mudblood anymore, "you are also incredibly cheeky, insolent, and unthankful."
"I know you're used to women that bow down for a man. I'm afraid you won't have that kind of luck with me."
"You silly women," Avery said. "You understand nothing."
"Nothing?" Joelle asked calmly and sat upright again, pushing her plate away. She smiled. "You mean I don't understand that you were raised by a woman, probably non-magical, disappointed of how much she could not teach you while the father who could have taught you decided to leave you behind?"
"How do you-"
"You mean I don't see every little step you take to not be the mediocre wizard you were destined to be? You think I don't hear every little bit of frustration from your childhood as soon as you open your mouth? I know men like you. Does this sound familiar? Average grades in school, nothing special, but special you wanted to be so you decided to stick to a man who could make you shine and give you just that little bit of power that you knew you would otherwise remain forever excluded from. I know you, Avery. More than you think. You hate me because I am in your way of becoming something greater trough Tom, because I take away his attention. You hate me because I am close to so much power, yet little you understand of how much of it is actually controlled by me. You, Avery. Understand nothing." Joelle sipped on her tea. Avery sat there with a gapped open mouth. It took him a while and Joelle knew that each word she said was nothing but the truth. Avery still tried to find words.
"I am sacrificing my success to take care of a silly woman...he handed me over the shrew while I could train more, do more! I am far better than Lestrange and Black - yet I have to sacrifice my development for YOU!"
Joelle was outraged, a particular word, just that word.
This was an existential discussion.
"You know NOTHING," she suddenly gestured wildly, "of what a sacrifice is! It is never selfish! You know nothing of what it means to sacrifice ones life for that of many others! Do you think I am staying with him because I want to? You are under the illusion that giving in means giving up, like so many you understand nothing of power, nothing of him. Nothing of me."
"Say it clearly! Are you saying you are controlling him?!"
Joelle chuckled and shook her head. "I pity you, Avery. You and your lack of judgement, caught in a cage of masculine superficialness. You know nothing of your women. And that's why we will forever have you in our hands," Joelle finally turned around and disappeared into another room. Avery was so taken aback that he had not a word to say for the next few minutes. But then he walked after Joelle and into the library she was in.
"Don't you turn your back on me when I am talking to you!"
"Why, we were done talking," said Joelle cooly, opening the book she picked out. Avery grabbed it from her to get her attention back. Joelle raised an eyebrow at him.
"You are not in any kind of position to talk to me like that," he hissed.
"Had it not been for me, the female mudblood you loathe so much, you," Joelle emphasized," wouldn't be in any kind of position at all."
"What? I owe you nothing!"
"Just your pathetic life, you fool. Tom almost killed you. He was furious after you left me back in the manor with the two men almost abusing me. He was wild, believing none of it would've happened had you not gone. I stopped him. I convinced him it was not your fault."
Avery looked at Joelle in surprise. He knew she did not lie, yet he liked to believe she did. Perhaps he preferred to believe that Joelle tried to manipulate him, but if he knew something from Tom's picture of Joelle, it was that of a selfless and honest person. Avery narrowed his eyes again, this time in realization. What exactly he realized Joelle would never know.
Some more time passed. This year's November was incredibly cold. Joelle and Avery have still been ignoring each other since their last conversation. They barely made any kind of verbal approach. None of them felt the need. Still yet, Joelle could not withdraw from the assumption that something changed between them. Avery did not look at her in a degrading way anymore, perhaps he simply got used to the fact that she was here and he had to cope with it - or, and Joelle liked to believe it, he recognized her value for she was the very reason he was still alive. Knowing the fact that his very existence depended on a mudblood must have been more than he could handle, whatsoever, so she understood why he ignored her.
It was a cold early morning. Joelle was resting on the balcony with a blanket and a cup of tea, inhaling the fresh air. Ahead of her was an open field that showed nothing but trees behind, it was quite the beautiful sight. Somewhere in the distance was a river that threatened to freeze - it was already that cold. White frost covered everything that once used to be green, it was mesmerizing to see the little crystals embracing nature like this. Joelle yawned. It was very early but she couldn't sleep anymore. Her attention was caught. Talking.
"Not yet, Lestrange!" Avery hissed. "I can't talk now. Did he find him already? Kill him?"
"We don't know where the old man is...lost track as soon as Tom caught up on it. I thought perhaps he stopped by here to pick Joelle up again."
"He has not been here and I advise you not to call him. Especially not here," Avery hissed. Lestrange was about to answer but he glanced over Avery's shoulder and cleared his throat.
"Now I understand!" Joelle scowled. "He left to kill Dumbledore, right?! Don't you dare lie to me, boys, I'm warning you!" Joelle hissed. Avery threw Lestrange a reproachful look, then closed the door on his face.
"Listen, doll. None of what he does is your business."
"All of it is my business! Now that I have heard it do you really think I'm going to act like I didn't? Call him, Avery. Call him right now. I know you can. That ugly tattoo you all have, I've seen Lestrange's hand twitching to it, I've seen Tom pointing to it in the basement back then. I am not stupid! You will call him. Right. Now."
Avery did not budge. He looked at Joelle calmly. "Let's calm down."
"CALL HIM!" Joelle yelled.
"What do you even want to ask?! 'Hey, I've heard you want to kill Dumbledore, I don't agree?!'"
Joelle stepped in front of Avery. She was one and a half heads shorter than him and it would have looked funny had there not been this determined twinkle in her eyes. "Avery. If you don't do as I say I will make sure, from this day forth, that the remaining lifespan you still have is not going to be enjoyable the least. Call him. Leave everything else to me."
"You're silly!" Avery suddenly yelled. "There won't be a remaining lifespan when I call him just so you can throw a tantrum! He will kill me!"
"You selfish little bug! He plans a murder! The death of a man who taught you at least SOME relevant things in your sorry life! You don't have to wait for Tom to kill you!"
"You? Hah, you're too weak to-"
And then Joelle suddenly lunged out and jumped on top of Avery - he fell on his back immediately. This has never happened before, this was unlike Joelle to let out her aggression like this, but the impulse was unstoppable. The both of them wrestled around and Joelle won the upper hand as she sat on top of Avery.
"Interesting." Said a voice from the back of the room. Both Avery and Joelle looked over to the door in shock. Tom was leaning against a wall all too cooly, twisting his wand absentmindedly his hands.
"My Lord!" Avery exclaimed. "Lady Joelle...would you please get off..." he said with all the kindness he could muster. Joelle smirked. "Why, you wanted it a minute ago and now you want me to get off?"
Avery's eyes widened, he looked over to Tom and shook his head with panic in his eyes. Tom merely looked at him with an unreadable expression and stopped twisting his wand. This was a bad sign.
"I was just kidding," Joelle said. Tom's hardened expression seemed to dissolve a little while Joelle chuckled. "That was power, Avery. This right now," she whispered into his ear and got up from him.
"What was this about?" Tom asked, but as usual, it didn't sound like a question. It was an order to explain. "I heard there are some turbulences," Tom said.
"Not half of what awaits you," Joelle said back. The corner of Tom's mouth twitched up. It's been three weeks - and he missed her cheekiness. His grin vanished as soon as she stepped in front of him.
"I know what you're planning. Leave Dumbledore alone," Joelle hissed. Tom's eyes narrowed immediately, gritting his teeth, nostrils flaring when he hatefully threw Avery a death promise.
"Ah, leave him out of that," said Joelle when she saw how Avery was motionless from fear. "I merely confronted him with my assumption and he is a bad liar. Perhaps a smarter puppet is in for the future?" She asked. Avery would've been insulted had Joelle not saved his life for the second time now.
"What do you expect, my dearest?" Tom asked. Joelle glared. "Dumbledore is looking for me, isn't he?"
"That he is."
"And you want to kill him because you think he would take me away from you."
Tom said nothing for a moment. "I'm afraid not quite. It's the other way around. He wants to take me away from you."
Joelle scowled. "And that's a bad thing?"
Tom chuckled. He tucked some strands of hair behind her ear. "Indeed."
"Marvolo," Joelle pulled her face away from him. "I am yours. You know it as much as I do."
Tom stared at her, the amusement was gone. Avery, too, left the room at this point.
"Mine...?" Tom whispered. "Say that again."
"I am yours," Joelle repeated. Tom stared into her eyes for the longest while. And then scowled. "You have failed to convince me," he said darkly and turned around with his arms behind his back, wand still out, pointing up to the ceiling.
"You said you wouldn't leave me out of your sight again," said Joelle.
"Finding Dumbledore was very pressing," said Tom. He turned around to her, walking closer. Joelle looked away with a sigh, crossing her arms.
"Look at me."
Joelle didn't. Tom grasped her chin. Not in his usual rough way, this time he was a tad softer. They looked into each other's eyes. And then Tom apparated back into the cottage with her.
"You won't be leaving tomorrow, will you? Stay with me..." said Joelle in a gentle, almost longing tone. Tom looked into her eyes in concentration. He inhaled deeply.
"Take me with you," Joelle added. Tom caught her eyes again, shaking his head. "It's too dangerous."
"Marvolo..." Joelle whispered, her bottom lip quivering for the split of a second. "No more deaths, I'm begging you," she clung to his collar. Tom remained calm. He caressed her cheek, his thumb rubbing across her bottom lip. She had warmed up with him. Was killing Dumbledore worth sacrificing this development? Tom inhaled deeply once more. He looked into her eyes, then pulled her closer. "You are asking for a lot," he murmured. "Dumbledore is not the fool Lestrange is. He will focus all his magical power on trying to find us. He took you from me once. You are asking me to let it happen again?"
"I explained to you, didn't I? He was the one telling me to stay with you. And I was the one refusing. It was my fault...remember?"
"It does not matter. In the end, he assisted you in putting up magical protection so that I would be unable to reach you."
Joelle looked at him with a surprised glance. For some reason Tom gave access to a topic he always avoided. She had to watch out. He might have been following a plan, after all. Tom was predictably unpredictable.
"As long as you called Wool's your true home I could not lay a hand on you. I had to destroy that home in order to break the protection."
"So murdering them had far more reasons than making me a criminal..."
"You see, Joelle," Tom whispered. "I never wanted to kill them, I had to-"
"Don't insult my intelligence, Marvolo," Joelle narrowed her eyes. Tom's famous red gleam lit up again, he knew she wouldn't buy it. And she was right. He had enjoyed every little shed of blood that day. Pretending was pointless; with her at least.
Tom stared into her eyes deeply and his unreadable expression made Joelle a tad nervous. He began to speak.
"You said you are mine," Tom repeated. Joelle nodded. Tom rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand as he leaned in to whisper into her ear. "Don't insult my intelligence, Joelle."
Tom was still there the next day. Joelle was very tense and scared. She feared he would leave again at some point, would try and kill Dumbledore. She knew that, despite his puppets being blindly loyal, they were scared to do the job for Tom. Perhaps they knew that their talent wasn't worth the attempt; Joelle knew that Dumbledore was a very talented sorcerer. Joelle also knew, however, that the gears in Tom's head were turning. She had to do something. She stepped in front of him when he was staring out of the window. He slowly dragged his eyes to her.
"Shouldn't you be studying? I gave you some things to read," said Tom sternly. Joelle shook her head. "I can't focus," she whispered and took his hand, walking backwards with him. They sat down on a couch. Tom raised an eyebrow at her when she rested her head on his shoulder.
"Do you really think I don't know why you're doing all of this?"
"I never said you wouldn't know," said Joelle. Then she looked at Tom. "I feel kind of strange. Like something inside me wants to...get out..."
Tom raised an eyebrow at that, unable to hide a grin. Joelle laughed. "No, really. It feels tingly. Do you think it could be the magic pulsing through my body?"
Tom looked at her in surprise, he closed the book he had started to read. "Hm. That's a very smart question."
"Why do you have to sound so surprised?" Joelle huffed. Tom got up, he was concentrated. "That's a very good sign...your magical signature...it's starting to flesh out noticeably..." he murmured more to himself, pacing around.
"Then it's wise to continue training, right?" Joelle asked. Tom spun his head towards her, storming her way, grabbing her face. Joelle didn't know what exactly he saw in her eyes but she definitely saw the raw obsession in his. Tom was obsessed with an idea. He let go of Joelle and handed her her wand. "Come on," he said and walked outside. Joelle followed.
"Show me what you can do," Tom said. Joelle sighed and glanced to the side, shaking her head. "I don't think I made a lot of progress," she said. Tom sent a spell her way, Joelle managed to dissolve it just in time. He seemed neither pleased nor disappointed, but that changed when Joelle sent a fairly weak counter attack his way. Tom sighed, glancing to the side while his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek in annoyance.
"You've had so much time! And here you wanted to learn how to cast a patronus?! I let you train on your own for that - yet you can't manage the simplest of spells!" Tom almost yelled.
"I'm sorry..." said Joelle, ashamedly avoiding eye contact. Tom didn't respond, instead he turned around and walked back into the cottage, closing the door with a loud thud. Joelle stretched her neck towards the door and windows to make sure Tom wouldn't see her anymore.
When Tom walked inside, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, resting his arms on a chair. An undesired visitor. A dark shadow. It grasped Tom's attention, sitting over yonder, on the couch.
"You again," said Tom. The demon grinned, his red eyes staring right into Tom's very core.
"I have nothing for you," Tom said collectedly, almost bored. His pulse didn't exceed standard. The demon shook his head. "The usual so arrogant tone will turn into a voice filled with panic the moment you realize what I have," the demon said. Tom scowled. "You have no use for me."
"That is true," said the demon. "Not for you. You ignored us for too long. You cannot betray hell. You think all of the power you have summoned was for free? Didn't we tell you hell has laws? You should have studied your theories a bit more. Your arrogance was in your way. You believing nothing stands above you. We know people like you, boy. You sold your soul the moment you delved into the black arts - you agreed when we first met. And then, you fool, you create horcruxes to escape that duty to come to us for when you die. Remaining earthbound because you don't want to serve as you were supposed to after life. Your fear of death is fear of hell - of us. But hell you will have right here. The time has come, Tom Riddle."
Tom's eyes widened for the split of a second. In slow motion, he turned around, stormed out of the cottage, wand up, looking around for Joelle for dear life - he has never been this panicked before. "JOELLE!" He shouted.
But Joelle was gone.
