Chapter 9: The Time Traveler's Pig

Stan had decided to do something nice by throwing a carnival.

"Behold Mabel! The cheapest fair that money can rent. I spared every expense." Said Stan.

That was when the Sky Tram fell in front of them. Then Erza came down from the ground wearing the Black Wing armor (the armor with bat like wings) holding Dipper.

"You were lucky I was with him…" muttered Erza glaring at Stan.

""Yeah, yeah, yeah." Said Stan, "Alright! I got a job to the kids. You two will place these signs all around the rides."

They were grades for the rides giving them an A+

"Is this legal?" asked Mabel.

"It's legal as long as there's no cops around." Replied Stan.

The kids shrugged.

"Hey Erza, stay in that armor, I need test something with it." Said Stan.

"Fine…" sighed Erza.

They went over opt the dunk tank, which Soos was working on.

"Punch it!" said Stan.

Erza did so and the dunk tank seat barely wobbled.

"You rigged it?" asked Erza.

"Yeah there's nothing that will knock me over." Said Stan.

"Expect for a big futuristic laser!" said Soos.

Stan went to look for a screwdriver.

"Hey have you seen my red screwdriver?" Stan asked the two.

"I never handle your tools…" said Erza as she requiped into some normal clothes.

"Maybe some strange paranormal thing took your screwdriver." Said Soos.

Stan rolled his eyes.

"It's possible." Said Erza with a shrug.

Stan just muttered things under his breath completely unaware that a strange man has stolen it.

And soon the fair was in full swing, Stan used his position in the dunk tank to egg people on.

Dipper was hanging out with Wendy. The two were eating question mark corn dogs.

"How do they get them in the shape?" asked Dipper.

"I don't know, but they're so…" said Wendy lifting to it to a sigh that said delicious, "Delicious?"

Both of them laughed, until Wendy had gotten mustard on her shirt and had to leave to clean herself off.

"I'll be right here!" said Dipper who whispered ,"I love you…"

"Look at you getting al romantic at the fair." Said Mabel showing up with tow things of cotton candy.

"It's not a big deal." Said Dipper.

"Yeah it is!" said Mabel.

"Okay! You're right!" said Dipper, "I just dove in and asked her and you want to know what she said?"

(Flashback)

"Yeah, I guess so…" said Wendy not even looking up from her magazine.

(End of Flashback)

"All your advice about finally going for it is finally paying off!" cheered Dipper.

"I'm right about everything." Said Mabel she sniffed the air, "Hey do you smell a gallon of body spray?"

That was when Robbie walked up to them.

"Hey you dorks have you seen Wendy?" asked Robbie.

"Who wants to know?" asked Dipper .

Robbie took some of Mabel's cotton candy.

"Hey!" yelled Mable.

"I just got some new tight pants and I thought she might wants to check me out." Said Robbie posing.

"I think I saw her at the bottomless pit, maybe you should jump in." said Dipper.

"Maybe I will smart guy." Muttered Robbie.

Robbie left and Mabel muttered.

"He is such a jerk." Said Mabel.

"But he has tight pants and guitar… I have to keep him away from Wendy." Said Dipper.

"Don't worry Bro-bro, I 'll be here every step of the…" said Mable that was hen she saw some thing "OH MY GOSH! A PIG!"

She ran away towards where the pig was. IT was some kind of booth.

"If you can guess the critter's weight then you can win the critter." Said the man running the booth.

That was one of the pigs oinked at Mabel.

"Did you just say Mabel… or was it doorbell?" asked Mabel.

The pig oinked again.

Mabel's eyes lit up.

That was when Pacifica walked by with some friends.

"Oh look, Mabel found her real twin." Said Pacifica.

Mabel glared at Pacifica then towards the man running the booth.

"Sir I must have that pig!" said Mabel.

"You mean ol' Fifteen Poundy?" asked the man running it, "How much do you he weighs."

"Uh… 15 pounds?" asked Mabel.

"Are you a witch?" asked the man running it, "Well here's your pig!"

He handed Mabel the pig as a nearby crowd clapped for Mabel.

"And you'll be needing these!" he said giving her a plate with some utensils.

Mabel glared at him.

"Nope? Suit yourself." Said the man running it.

She hugged her new pig.

"Everything is different now." Said Mabel.

Meanwhile with Dipper and Wendy they found a stand with a strange stuffed toy.

"Whoa! Check it out! I don't know if it's a duck or a panda but I want on!" said Wendy.

They walked over to the booth.

"You don't mind if I cheat, do you?" whispered Dipper.

Wendy zipped her lips.

"One ball please." Said Dipper.

"You only get one chance." Sid the carnie.

Dipper tossed the ball somewhat weakly, but thanks to his magic it knocked over the bottles.

"You're creature of indeterminate species miss." Said the carnie.

Wendy hugged the plushy.

The two walked towards one of the rides.

That was when Wendy's foot fell into a gopher hole and she tripped.

"Are you okay?" asked Dipper.

"My ankle!" she cried out.

"Oh no!" said Dipper, "I'll go get you some ice!"

He ran to get some ice, however when he was running back with the ice he bumped into a strange bald man wearing a jumpsuit and tool belt. He dropped the ice and yelled at the man.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" yelled Dipper.

He managed to get all of the ice back in.

However when he got to where Wendy was he saw that Robbie was using a sno-cone on her ankle.

"That's so sweet Robbie…" Said Wendy.

"Hey… we've been hanging out a lot lately and I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime." Said Robbie.

"Yeah, I guess so." Said Wendy with a shrug.

"Come on I'll get you to a seat." Said Robbie helping her up and going opt find a place to sit down.

Dipper fell down with the ice spilling.

"Hey! Dipper! Look at my brand new pet pig!" said Mabel, "I named him Waddles! Because he waddles!"

She began to say "Waddle" in a certain way.

"Everything is different now." Said Dipper.

"Hey!" said Erza, "I heard you won a pig."

"That's right his name is Waddles." Said Mabel.

"I expect you to take care of him and make sure he doesn't eat all of the food." Said Erza, "What's wrong with your brother."

"Don't' know." said Mabel.

That was when the tow noticed Robbie and Wendy on a bench together.

"Oh…" said Mabel.

"His crush…" said Erza.

"Come on Dipper let's enjoy the fair." Said Mabel.

Dipper was extremely mopey for the rest of the fair.

He was laying on a skeeball ramp.

Mabel decided to cheer him up by having Waddles dress as a doctor.

"Oh come on these are great jokes." Said Mabel.

"Do you ever think you can undo one mistake." Said Dipper. "If only Robbie wasn't there with that ice… I would have had that ice in time…"

That was when Dipper noticed the strange bald guy he bumped into.

"Hey! You tool belt!" yelled Dipper, "You ruined my life!"

"I don't know if ruined it… "said Mabel, "I think it would have been ruined if I don't know you got sent to another universe."

Dipper blinked, "Okay you made my life slightly worse!" yelled Dipper.

"That's better." Said Mabel.

The bald man seemed to pale.

"Hey what's you're deal! I've seen you around before!" said Dipper, "Are you following us?"

"And why are you bald?" asked Mabel.

"Oh no I've been compromised! Initiating stealth mode!" yelled the bald man touching his watch.

His suit changed to various scenes but it wasn't working.

"Oh wow! That's amazing! Are you form the future?" asked Mabel.

"Uh… no… what would make you…" said the bald man, "Memory wipe!"

He tossed a baby wipe at her.

"A baby wipe?" asked Mabel.

"All right, you cornered me I'm a time traveler." Said the bald man.

"Wait if you're from the future does that mean you have a time machine?" asked Dipper.

"That's how it works." Said the bald man.

Dipper noticed Wendy and Robbie together.

"Can I borrow it?" asked Dipper.

"No our of the question! Do you know how sensitive this equipment is?" yelled the bald man.

He pulled out what looked like a tape measure.

"It looks like a tape measure!" said Dipper.

"Shut your time-mouth." Said the bald man.

"I think he might be crazy." Said Mabel.

"You don't' believe me!" said the bald man, he turned his tape measure then reappeared now wearing renascence clothes, "Guess where I was!"

The twins gasped.

"That's right the costume shop that was right here 15 years ago." Said the bald man, "One second…"

"Oh yeah… I've heard about that…" said Mabel.

"The shop mysteriously caught on fire 15 years ago and no one ever found the cause." Said Dipper.

He returned and they noticed he was on fire this time.

"That explains it…" muttered Dipper.

"Oh yeah, who are you?" asked Mabel.

"Blendin Blandin, Time Anomaly Remover Crew year twenty syneventy-twelve." Said the man named Blendin, "My mission is stop a series of time anomies that is supposed to occur right here at this very location., But I have no idea what I'm looking for… if it's some kind of paradox or what…."

"You look like you need a break." Said Dipper who nudged his sister.

"Oh yeah! Might I recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair." Said Mabel.

"You know what, what the heck. I'm worth it" said Blendin, he looked at the two, "But I have my eyes on you!"

He ends up going on one ride that Soos was controlling where you go into barrel and spin around. He had to take the tool belt off, however Soos didn't watch it very well and the twins grabbed the time machine.

Sometime later the twins were discussing what to do with it.

"This is it Mabel, our ticket to any moment in history." Said Dipper.

"We could get two Dodo to make out!" said Mabel, "Or we can make it so that Mom never marries dad!"

"If that happens then we'll never be born…" said Dipper.

"Oh yeah…" said Mabel.

"All that paradox talk me scared, we have to be careful with… I have to make sure that Wendy doesn't fall into that gopher hole." Said Dipper, "This way they won't start going out!"

"Can I come! I want to relive my greatest moment, winning Waddles." Said Mabel.

"all right! See you later!" said Dipper.

"See you earlier!" laughed Mabel.

And so they used the time tape to go back to noon. Although Dipper had to put out a small fire on his had.

"Do-over?" asked Dipper.

"Do-Over!" laughed Mabel.

Mabel immediately ran over to the booth and found the pig she will name Waddles.

"15 pounds!" she yelled out.

The guy was about to ask if she was a witch.

"I'm not a witch…" said Mabel, "But I am a wizard!"

Which was true, after all.

Once Mabel left the man who ran the booth was deeply confused.

"Can a girl even be a wizard?" he asked.

He managed to find Wendy.

"There you are…" said Wendy, "What happened to you hat?"

"IT's nothing to worry about." Said Dipper.

Dipper noticed the hole she tripped on before.

"Hey let's go this way!" said Dipper.

They went in a different direction instead.

"So what's over here you wanted to check out?" asked Wendy.

That was when a baseball suddenly hit her face.

Turns out they were near the dunk tank and of course they hit Wendy.

Dipper didn't know why but her getting hit by a baseball was both wrong and right at the same time.

However he knew it was really bad when Robbie showed up and of course asked her out.

"That was weird…" said Dipper.

He later told Mabel about what happened.

"Wait… the baseball thing… felt like it was unopposed to happen?" asked Mabel.

"That's not the point!" said Dipper, "I just have to try again…"

"How bad is that going to be?" asked Mabel as the two walked past a strange discussion about if a girl or woman can be considered a wizard.

He went back again… and she got hit in the face from a screw, and again some shoe fell off from the ferries wheel… and gain…

Every time Wendy got hurt and Robbie was able to ask her out when he showed up with a sno-cone to help her.

"So how many times was she hit in the face with a baseball?" asked Mable as Dipper calculated the math.

"5." Answered Dipper.

"Look Wendy's fated to get hurt and Robbie to help her… just like how I'm fated to be with Waddles." Said Mable holding up a sweater she made with Waddles on it.

Dipper barely acknowledged.

Then he looked her realizing it.

"Well I'm going to win my pig again." said Mabel.

"Wait! I have an idea! It was so simple!" said Dipper.

"What?" asked Mabel.

Dipper told her the plan, which was really simple.

Mabel just beat Robbie to treating Wendy.

And so Dipper went off to explore with Wendy.

That was when they walked passed another game. And someone missed and threw a baseball right in the face.

"Are you okay?" asked Dipper, "We need ice!"

That was when Mabel showed up with the sno-cone.

"Boop." She said as she placed the sno-cone on her face.

"Thinks Mabel." Said Wendy.

"No problem! I'm always there for a friend! Now if you excuse me I have to go win a pig!" said Mabel.

Mabel headed to the pig guessing both.

That was when Robbie showed up.

"Whoa! Wendy are you okay?" asked Robbie.

"I'll be fine thanks to Mabel." Said Wendy.

"Let's go to a bench until you're ready to ride something." Said Dipper.

Wendy nodded and two of the left Robbie who closed his hoody on his face.

However not all was right with the world. Mable headed to the booth where she found Waddles was won by someone else…

Pacifica…

"Ol' 15-Poundy! Yours… now and forever… no one else's!" said the man running the booth.

Waddles looked at Mabel and cried, as if he knew about the previous time-lines.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Mabel.

"Mabel are you all right?" Erza asked Mabel.

Mabel ran away.

Meanwhile Wendy was up it riding the rides and rode the Tunnel of Love and Corndogs with Dipper.

"Man that was better the third time!" said Wendy, "You up for Funnel Cakes?"

"Oh yeah!" said Dipper.

Wendy headed for the Funnel Cake stand, however Mabel ran towards him, screaming.

"Mabel…" said Dipper.

Mabel still screamed.

"Is something wrong?" asked Dipper.

She still screamed.

"Finished yet?" asked Dipper.

"We messed up the timeline! Pacifica won Waddles! She saw the sign and she beat me to him!" cried Mabel.

"Oh Mabel I'm sorry." Said Dipper.

"We need to go back and figure out a new plan!" cried Mabel.

"Look every timeline Wendy ended up dating Robbie! I finally won!" said Dipper.

"But if we don't' I'll Waddles forever!" cried Mabel.

Mabel tired to grab the time machine but Dipper tried to prevent her. However ever since they were still at the ride part of it got stuck in one of the ride vehicles, and then went back to them sending them somewhere in the past when it was just a vacant field.

"When are we?" asked Dipper.

"No the real question is when are… oh wait you did say that?" Said Mabel.

"I did." Confirmed Dipper.

That was when a stampede of bison appeared, the two ran away until they fell off a cliff.

They landed in a covered wagon they heard stuff about Oregon Trail… such as cougars and dysentery.

"Is this the 70's?" asked Mabel.

"No this is Pioneer time." Said Dipper.

That was when two pioneers mistook the two for new children they had.

However one of the children in the wagon saw Mabel's braces.

"Mother, she has silver in her mouth." Said the boy.

"These are called braces." Said Mabel.

"Mabel we can't start messing with the past." Said Dipper.

"Oh like you did earlier and cost me a pig" Said Mabel, "I'll mess with the past all I want."

She walked over to the boy and gave him a calculator.

"Here a magic button machine!" said Mabel then she stomped on the floor, "Shoes that blink!"

She looked at the woman as Dipper took back the calculator.

"Oh and sister! Do you know get to vote in the future! We do!" said Mabel and she high fived her, "It's called a high five teach it to your friends!"

Dipper grabbed the time machine from her and they headed back to the future.

They found themselves in a snowy area.

"Hey give me back!" yelled Mabel.

"No way!" yelled Dipper they began to fight again…

"So what did they want to talk about?" asked a voice that made them both freeze up.

"Oh no mom!" said Mabel.

Both of them hid behind a tree, hiding from their mother.

"Uncle Stan called me the other day…" said the person she was talking to.

They both peaked from behind the tree, they saw that their mother looked a lot younger and recognized the voice from the other person immediately.

"I knew that…" said Erza glaring at the man, "I heard his end of the call…"

"I want to make things right between us." Said the person she was talking to.

The person got down on one knee as he pulled something from his pocket.

"Erza Scarlet, will you marry me?" asked the man.

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other… they had witnessed it... their father proposing to their mother.

Erza placed her hand on her stomach.

"You only want to marry because I'm pregnant." Said Erza.

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other, their eyes becoming wide.

"That explains so much." Said Mabel.

"Look… you don't know what my childhood is like." Said the man that was their father "But I want to make things right for my kid."

Mabel was about to yell something out but Dipper grabbed her mouth and used his magic on the tape measure to send them to another time.

"Why did you do that!" yelled Mable as she broke away from Dipper.

"Look that would have made things worse!" yelled Dipper.

"Dad's a jerk! And it wouldn't have erased us from existence!" yelled Mabel.

"I know but it would have screwed up history!" yelled Dipper.

Neither of them realized they were in primordial jungle, until there was a loud thumping noise.

"What was that?" asked Dipper .

"I know." Said Mabel.

And that was when a Mother Freakin' T-Rex showed up and tired to eat them.

They once again grabbed the item machine knowing it was best opt get out of there.

They found themselves in a ruined city where a giant flying baby was destroying buildings.

"This future look fun!" said Mabel.

Dipper grabbed the time machine and the two continued to fight through time.

They fought at the lake on the day where they searched for the Gobblewonker, where Dipper dropped the calculator.

They ended up on the day of the Wax Stan unveiling, and Dipper lost his shoes.

They ended up in some strange well lit bar for a bit, where they fought over the tape briefly, they didn't drop anything this time, but it confused their patrons to no end.

And then end they ended up during the fight with the gnomes where Mabel lost a hair pin.

And then suddenly they found themselves in the past, before the Mystery Shack became a tourist trap.

"Oh man! This thing is getting hot!" yelled Mabel as the time machine began to overheat.

"What did you do!" yelled Dipper.

However both of them were sent away missing someone who opened the door who looked like Stan… but not quite.

However with the twin they found themselves in a place of inky blackness.

"Where are we?" asked Mabel.

"I don't' know, but it seems like there's nothing but inky blackness for miles." Said Dipper, "Don't you see, we've transported to the end of time!"

Both of them started screaming in horror.

Wait… it smells badly." Said Mabel.

They found a door, it turned out to be a Porta-potty at the fair.

"We're in the present." Said Mabel.

"But which one? "asked Dipper.

They saw a mopping Robbie and Pacifica taking away a terrified Waddles.

"Yes!" cheered Dipper.

"NO!" cried Mabel.

Mabel tried to grab the time machine but Dipper lifted it high into the air.

"No fair! You telekinesis is better than mine!" cried Mabel.

"Look I worked to hard for this!" said Dipper.

"But Waddles was my soul mate!" cried Mabel.

"You said that about Yarn…" said Dipper, "Do you really want Wendy to date Robbie?"

"I don't know!" cried Mabel.

She walked over to a totem poll and started banging her head.

"Oh come on Mabel! You're not going to guilt trip me!" said Dipper, "You're going to forget about this in a day."

He grabbed the time machine and went forward a day.

She was still banging her head.

"I'll go forward a week." Said Dipper.

He went forward a week and she was still bang her head.

"A month! It will be over in a month!" said Dipper.

He went forward ahead a month, and she was still banging her head. Not only that but she looked terrible and a vine was growing on her.

Then a tour showed up with Soos.

"And here you'll see miserable Mabel. No one knows what made her be this way… some say she saw something horrifying while other say it was when some heartless jerk tuned her dreams." Explained Soos, "Oh Dipper, long time no see."

Dipper sighed as Soos led the tour group away.

"I have no other choice…" sighed Dipper.

"NATSU PINES!" yelled Erza, "Where have you been for the past month!"

This made Dipper jump.

He turned to see his mother wearing armor.

"Do you have any idea what's been going on and how worried I've been…" said Erza.

Dipper figured he must have been missing during this time line due to the time travel travel.

"Where have you been?" demanded Erza.

Before Dipper could answer, a huge fireball went off in the forest.

"THAT IDIOT!" yelled Erza running off into the forest completely forgetting about Dipper.

Dipper blinked wondering who Erza was talking about along with the fireball.

He sighed knowing he had to go back in time to fix everything (especially since he was missing in this timeline, he really had to fix that).

He found Wendy by the Duck-Panda booth and walked up to her.

"Let's go this way." Laughed Dipper.

"Okay." Said Wendy with a shrug, "Is something wrong?"

"Just remember this… tight pants are overrated." Said Dipper.

"Um… okay…" said Wendy.

{That was when strangely once again a baseball hit her face.

"Really, another baseball" mumbled Dipper.

Robbie showed up with the sno-cone.

"Hey Wendy, this would be the perfect time to ask you something." Said Robbie.

The two walked away.

Dipper sighed.

That was when Mabel tackled him.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" cried Mabel.

Waddles was also there and oinked something.

"He says thank you too." Said Mabel.

"Yeah…" said Dipper, "Wait… do you remember those other timelines?"

"Vaguely…" said Mabel, "I remember us fighting a bit… and that mom was preprint before she got married to dad… but I can't remember much from the timeline other than that… it's weird…"

Dipper blinked and shrugged.

They noticed Pacifica now had a chicken that was pecking her.

"I couldn't break your heart Mabel… and besides, Wendy and Robbie can't date all summer… right?" asked Dipper.

"You two! Do you know many laws of time you just broke!" yelled Blendin showing up and grabbing the time machine, , "No really… I wasn't there so I couldn't keep track."

"Who are you and why are you harassing my children!" yelled Erza.

"Blendin Blandin!" yelled a voice.

"However two stern looking men showed up.

"Oh no the Paradox Removal Enforcement Squad!" yelled Blendin.

"That's right." Said one of them named Dundgren, "Our phones have been ringing off the hook, there are settlers high fiving each other and calculators littered through 8 centuries."

"You're under arrest for violation of the Time Code." Said the other named Lolph.

"It wasn't me!" yelled Blendin, "It was those two kids and their leader Waddles!"

"That's a pig!" said Lolph.

They took him away.

"You'll pay for this! I'll make that she never meets your father so you will never born!" yelled Blendin'.

They watched him being dragged away.

"What did you two do?" asked Erza.

"Do you want to know?" asked Dipper.

Erza sighed… she could handle monsters but time travel was just too weird for her.

She then requiped into the Giant's Armor (the strange yellow she wore when she met Manly Dan).

"I'm going to see if this will work to dunk Stan." Said Erza he began to walk towards the dunk tank.

"Oh I got a pig!" called Mabel.

"I noticed!" called out Erza, "Make sure he doesn't cause too many problems.!"

Erza got to the Dunk Tank, when she saw that Lolph shot the target knocking Stan into the water, making everyone applaud.

They began to look around the fair for the last time.

"We never did find out what he was supposed to stop." Said Mabel.

"Wait… I think it was us!" said Dipper, "He was supposed to stop us!"

"Oh… this is why time travel is confusing!" muttered Mabel.

That was when they saw Wendy and Robbie share a caramel apple.

"Oh man… I have to watch that all summer." Said Dipper.

"Don't worry, I got this." Said Mabel.

She had learned during the time loop that Waddles loved caramel apples, she Waddles headed to the caramel apple. Knocked Robbie into a pot of boiling water.

It shrank his already tight pants.

"That'll do pig." Sad Dipper told Waddles, "That'll do."

Thanks to their time traveling shenanigans, Blendin got in trouble… what they didn't know was that Blendin would try his hand at revenge… but that was the Future Twins' problem… and they would have a lot more to deal before then…

Next Time: Robbie gets tired of Dipper and challenges him to a fight, with Erza not allowing him to use swords or his magic (or to fight for that matter) Dipper cowers in fear... that is until he finds a way to bring a Video Game character to life! Meanwhile Mabel and Erza decided to get Stan over his fear of heights... will it work? Or fail Spectrally? Find out next time!