A/N: This is where the M rating really comes into play. Go to the third section if smut is not for you. I understand if you want to skip it.
Chapter 5:
My heart is beating out of my chest and I long for his lips to touch me again. We both slowly draw together, and I angle my head up to kiss him. I feel my lips tingle before he even touches mine, but once they do, I am electrified. I practically lose my breath with the way he is kissing me. He feels so warm but aggressive. He has complete control of the kiss, but I want him to.
He is moving his hands down from my face, to my neck, to my breast. Both of his hands are cupping my breast, kneading them and pinching my nipples through my dress. I have C cups, and he seems to appreciate them. His hands feel amazing. I'm so aroused, I can't think straight. Stop thinking Ana. Let go. You are safe here.
Christian sweeps his tongue over my lips, asking for entrance. I let him in, even though I have no clue what I'm doing. But I continue to let him take over, unafraid.
I move my hands from his neck, down his arms, to his lower back. I avoid his chest remembering how Elena taunted him. He moves his hands down my breast to my backside, where he begins to grab my ass with both hands, one hand for each cheek.
"I have been wanting to grab your ass ever since I met you when you fell on all fours." I can only giggle. "Something funny Anastasia?" He does this while caressing my ass.
"That was so embarrassing. I wish you didn't remember that"
"How could I forget? You were the first business partner, who fell head over heels for me." I giggle even more, as he keeps rubbing my ass harder. He presses me against his manhood, and I only can gasp by how big he is.
"Don't worry sweetheart, we will not go down there tonight. I want to feel you, just a little bit."
"One day." I do want to have sex with Christian. I am too afraid right now. I need to gain more confidence first.
"One day."
He then swoops me in his arms, carrying me bridal style. I yelped, only to be slightly frightened, but begin to giggle at the surprise.
"I love your giggle. It makes me happy."
"I will sure to giggle more."
"Not too much. I got a reputation to protect." I giggle again.
"I doubt your reputation will be ruined by being happy every now and then." He can only smirk at that comment. There is a blanket laid on the floor, and he lays me on top of it, in front of the window. He leaves me only briefly to put a pillow under my head and my bottom. I lay in front of him, giving myself to him, and there is nowhere else I want to be.
He carefully removes each strappy heel, kissing the top of my left foot and then my right. He never lets them go, pushing them against the wall behind me, so my toes are touching the wall behind me.
"Don't move your feet." I have my legs completely stretched and spread over me. I am breathing hard, not knowing what he is going to do next. I do know that my dress is hiked to my waist, and I am completely exposed to him. I feel nervous and shaky, but most of all turned on. He drags his hands down my legs to my inner thighs, spreading me even more.
"Your smell is completely intoxicating." He has his face almost buried in my pussy. Pussy? Yes, pussy, it is the only word appropriate right now. Ok, continue. He begins to lick and nip my pussy through my panties. I can feel his nose rubbing on my clit. I am panting frantically, only realizing I'm approaching an overwhelming sensation that I never felt before. That is an orgasm! It feels amazing.
He rubs my folds through my panties slowly with two fingers. My panties are drenched with my arousal at this point. He pulls my panties up, exposing my lips. I close my eyes, as the pleasure takes over my body. My hands are balled up in a fist. I never felt like this before, but I feel like I'm losing control in the best way possible. He moves my panties up and down, back and forth, and the sensation is overwhelming. He then kisses and sucks me through them. I cannot take it anymore.
"Oh Christian, Christian, I think I'm gonna… Christian!" My hips are gyrating. Christian moves his hands from my thighs to my chest where he grabs my breast with each hand. My body begins to vibrate, as I arch my back and my breast press into his hands. I feel the orgasm rip through my body, and I feel breathless.
"God, you're beautiful." Christian grabs my feet from the wall, and place both my legs together, resting my ankles on his left shoulder. "You came fast." I blush in embarrassment. I know I'm inexperienced, but I hate being that inexperienced. "That means you can come several times." I can't imagine having more orgasms. "I'm not done with you yet sweetheart." He winks at me, giving me a sexy grin. I can't believe there's more. I don't know if I can take another orgasm. I think we can handle it. Let's just see.
He moves my body closer to his hips, with the back of my thighs lying next to his manhood. "Remove the top of your dress, Ana. I would tear it right off you, but it's too beautiful to ruin." I reach behind my back to unclasp my dress. I push the dress off my arms. He takes the top of my dress and moves it past my hips. He gently takes it off of me, never removing my legs from his shoulders.
"Now the bra." I unclasp my black bra and slide it off my body, handing it to him. "Now your panties." I'm not sure how I'm going to do this in this position, but I will not disobey. I come up with a plan. I bend my knees towards my chest. I reach for my black panties and slowly pull them down my hips, then up my thighs. Once I cross my bent knees, I pull them down my calves, only to remove them. I hang my panties on my toes of my right foot and extend my foot to his face. Lucky for me, he grabbed them with his mouth. I can only smile, very pleased with myself. He grabs them from his mouth and puts them to his nose to smell my arousal.
"You are never getting these back." He puts them in his pants pocket. I never felt sexy with anyone, only with Christian. "Ankles back." I obey his command, placing both of my ankles on his left shoulder. This time he puts one of my ankles on his right shoulder, opening me up a little bit to him. I am completely naked, and he is fully clothed, only removing his suit jacket and bow tie.
I don't feel self-conscious about my body. Probably because I never really think about my body. I have wide hips and strong calves from all the squatting, walking and standing I do while cooking. I have a flat stomach, no abs though. I don't really work out, but I have strong arms. And I wear a 34C cup. I like to think I am supple, but overall, pretty average. Under Christian's gaze, I seem like a goddess.
He rubs my feet, kissing and licking my toes. He might have a foot fetish. I think he has many fetishes. He moves his hands from my feet to my calves, massaging them a little bit. Then down to my thighs, where he rubs my inner thigh. The whole massage feels so sensual.
He passes where I want him to touch me so much, and has both his hands over my breast, caressing them. He growls while massaging my breast. He likes to pinch my nipples, which the slight pain intensifies the sensation even more. He leans forward, so he can suck and bite my right breast. I moan, feeling the pain and pleasure of it all. He sits straight back up again, with my ankles still resting on his shoulders.
He suddenly places his index finger in my pussy. "So tight. So wet." I moan and cover my face with my arms. I feel so hot like my face is turning completely red. He begins to move in and out, slightly bending his finger. I feel it again, the build-up to an orgasm. I feel my stomach muscles tightening like my inside is building up to a release. I decide to remove my arms and place them on my sides, as I grip the blanket under me. Even though his fingers feel really tight, I feel so euphoric, like nothing matters in this world, except for the man right in front of me.
Christian begins to move faster, causing me to come for the second time ever. He slows down, only to slip in his second finger. "Christian, I can't. This feels too much." He removes his other hand from my thigh, and rubs my breast again, pinching my right nipple. The jolt of pain was enough and I came again, another orgasm ripping through my body. I'm shaking and sweating after this one.
Suddenly Christian moves his face to my pussy, opening my legs wide for him. He begins to lick my arousal, continuing to finger me. This prolongs my orgasm, leading to another one. I can't stop panting, and I'm moaning much too loud. I'm afraid someone will hear me. I close my eyes and clutch my mouth shut.
Christian stops his licking to look at me. "Ana, open your eyes." I do. "Look up, out the window." I arch my back to look behind me outside the window. I hear the whistle before I see them. Fireworks! "Look at the fireworks Ana. Moan as loudly as you want. No one will hear you." He continues with the sucking, nipping, and licking the folds of my pussy and my clit. The beautiful colors light the room in pretty purples, greens, blues, and reds. I notice my naked body is covered in these colors as well.
Christian has me on the edge of coming, and I am moaning so loudly. There are so many feelings I'm experiencing right now; I can't help but cry. The tears are flowing, as my third or fourth orgasm rips through my entire body. I lost count. I feel it through my curling toes, my tensed legs, and my hardening nipples. But most of all, I feel it in my beating heart, which beats loudly for Christian.
That is love.
~oOo~
Christian lays my legs gently on the floor, removing the pillow under my behind, and placing it under my knees. "Are you all right Ana?" All I can do is nod yes. He places his two fingers that have been inside me next to my face. "That Ana is what your pleasure smell like. It is absolutely intoxicating." I sniff his fingers to smell myself. It is an indescribable smell, but I'm glad he likes it. "Lick my fingers." I don't even hesitate. I do what he says, sucking and licking his two fingers. Not bad. "You taste delicious Ana." To each their own. Christian lays next to me, covering us with an extra blanket. I lay on my side, leaning my head on my arm.
"We should probably head back. I'm sure your parents are worried about you."
"Don't worry about it, my mom usually expect us to stay over the night since gala runs late. I usually leave early, but this has been one hell of a night. She will probably be happy I'm spending the night for once. I will text Elliot too." Christian reaches for his pants, into his pocket to take his phone out and send a quick text to Elliot. I didn't realize he was in his boxers and undershirt. He looks like my own personal underwear model.
"Your mother is so cool."
"That she is." I can't help but giggle as I roll into my pillow, laughing at the absurdity of everything that just happened. "You are laughing at me Ms. Steele. Want to explain?"
"I wasn't laughing at you. I promise. I feel like a teenager, sneaking off with a boy during a party, making out with him." I can't help but laugh even more. I like feeling so carefree.
Christian laughs with me, "I guess it does feel like we are teenagers, although, I never done anything like this, and we were definitely doing more than making out." He leans over to kiss my forehead. I relax deeper with this kind gesture.
"You were definitely not making out with me."
We're quiet for a few moments, until Christian asks me, "You were crying Anastasia, earlier. Did I hurt you?"
"No Christian. I was…overwhelmed. It felt so amazing, but different and perfect. I think that was the only way I could express my emotions."
"There was another way, Anastasia." He then licks his two fingers, enjoying my arousal. He laughs at his own silliness, and I laugh right with him. I quickly stop my laughing, realizing I have not satisfied him at all.
"I can help you out. I am so selfish for not satisfying you."
"Don't worry about it. You satisfied me."
"How? I didn't even touch you."
"You have to promise me Ana that what I say doesn't leave this room. It stays between us and only us. Promise?"
"I pinky square promise." I reach out my hand and stick out my pinky to Christians face. His response is to bite my pinky. "Hey! You are not supposed to do that silly. You are supposed to cross your pinky with my pinky, and that will make sure our promise stays between us, and only us." He reaches my pinky with his pinky and crosses it, only to look utterly confused. "It is a life promise, I swear. Now tell me."
"When you were bent over, and I was nuzzling your sweet pussy, I was stroking myself. And when I was fingering you, I was rubbing my dick against your lower buttocks."
"What, no way! Really?! I didn't feel anything."
"I am a smoothed criminal, sweetheart." I began to laugh at his remark.
"I should've never given you my Michael Jackson music. Only more quotes for you to say."
"What?! It's quotable music. Plus, I try to never say these things in a business setting, only with you. Although, I did say 'I'll be back.', but it was totally in context during a meeting."
"Oh my goodness." I can only laugh harder with how Christian likes to say entertainment quotes like me. "I knew you would sneak movie quotes in your everyday life."
"I couldn't help it."
"Wait a minute. Why didn't you want me to tell anyone about what you did?" I don't understand why he would want to keep it a secret that he came.
"Because I'm a grown man, and I masturbated like I was a teenager. You think I never had sex before, the way I was humping your ass. You don't want that shit to get around Anastasia."
I then look straight at him, thinking about what were talking about. "You are so confident sexually. I wish I was like that."
"I can only talk about sex like that with you."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I guess I trust you."
"Good. I want it to stay like that." I can't help it at this point. I want to be with him more tonight. I push his shoulders, so he is laying on his back.
"What are you doing Ana?" He asks, still complying with my actions.
"I want to see you, taste you."
"Ana, you don't-"
"Please, Christian. I want to do this." I want to prove to myself I can do this. I can be with a man intimately. I don't want to be scared anymore. I know I'm not ready for sex. I still have questions and should go on birth control. But I'm ready for this.
He nods his head, giving me permission. I push his undershirt up a little bit to expose his incredibly toned abs. I kiss his stomach, appreciating his beautiful body. I slip his boxers down, exposing himself to me. Holy shit is big. Abort mission! He is easily nine inches, and really thick. I don't know how to handle something so large. I'm getting scared now, unsure what to do. I look at Christian, worried and confused. "You're going to have to help me. I'm sorry." I have done this once with my college boyfriend, but I had to tell him to stop, as I freaked out.
"Don't worry. Take it slow. I want you to first touch me, with your right hand." I do, touching him with my fingertips. I touch his tip, and drag my fingers all the way down. He feels smooth, but hard. He hisses with my touch.
He gives me more direction, "I want you to wrap your hand around me, not too tightly." I wrap my small hands around the base. "Now slowly move up and down." I do, moving carefully. He is getting harder and moans in pleasure, as I go faster. I'm starting to become more comfortable touching him. "Stop." I do, thinking I did something wrong.
"I want you to lick me, from the base to the tip, a few times." I don't hesitate. I lick him, almost like I am licking ice cream. "Fuck!" He moans out, and I decide to lick him more, but also rubbing him with my right hand. "Suck the tip Ana." I do, wrapping my mouth around him. He moans louder. "Go down Ana, as much as you can, slowly." I do, lowering my head down his large dick. I close my eyes, trying to relax. He brushes my hair away from my face, and places his hand on my head. He's not pushing me or forcing me. He is actually massaging my scalp. I moan around him when he does this. It feels so comforting.
Once he reaches to the back of my throat, I come back up. I release him, smiling. I probably look like a mess, but I am proud of myself right now. He smiles right back at me, and asks me to continue. I do.
I get more comfortable, as I straddle his leg. I lick him a few times, and wrap my mouth around him again, bobbing up and down. He massages my scalp, as I continue to move. He at first tasted salty, but it now a mix of my own saliva and him. It doesn't taste bad.
He is cursing and moaning as I continue my actions. He is enjoying himself, and I am proud of that. "Ana, I'm going to come." I release him, looking at him, unsure what to do. "Stroke me." I do, with my right hand. "Faster!" He commands. I do, going faster, but I feel like I can't get a good rhythm.
He seemed to enjoy himself the most when I had him in my mouth. So I wrap him in my mouth again, and suck him hard. I bob my head a few times, and suddenly I feel a salty warm liquid squirt in my mouth. I can't help but swallow, but I start to feel the need to cough. I release him, and stood up, coughing. Christian quickly gets up, pushing up his boxers, and goes to the bathroom. He comes back with a cup of water.
"Drink." I do, and I stop coughing.
"Much better," I say, giving him a big smirk. He starts laughing, shaking his head covering his face with his hands. "Why are you laughing at me?"
"You weren't suppose to swallow!" He says laughing harder. I'm getting embarrassed about my mistake.
"I didn't know." I whisper to him, turning away. He instantly stops laughing and wrap his arms around me.
"Oh sweetheart, I loved it." I turned to him, surprised by what he's saying. "I didn't think you would like it." He chuckles a little bit, and I smirk, wrapping my arms around him.
"I didn't dislike it. I was surprised. It was salty and warm, but then it tastes oddly sweet."
"I eat a lot of fruit," he says, giving me a full grin. We both laugh.
Well, that was...different.
~oOo~
We are laying on the full size bed pulled out from the couch. Christian is laying on his back, and I'm laying on my stomach. We have the windows open, both looking out to the water, enjoying the view. He turns to look at me with concern in his eyes. "I almost let you go tonight. I was going to have Ros take your account. I was going to stop calling you and answering your calls. I was going let you move on with your life, without me." His words hurt me. "That was why I was late today. I was setting the plan in motion." How could he let everything we have go? "But the way you stood up for me tonight, I couldn't let you go after that."
"Well, now you won't. We can be together."
"Even after everything you know?"
"Yep."
"Ana-"
"Before you say anything," I quickly interrupt. I sit up, with the sheet wrap around me. "I saw this movie, one that was not with my dad. He would've locked me up in my room if he knew I watched this film. It's called Secretary. I think you might like it."
"What's it about?" Christian gets more comfortable, propping his head on his arm, and looking right at me.
"Are you really interested?"
"I am. Please continue. But first, I want you comfortable." He places my head on his chest, and rubs my scalp.
I quickly remove my head, "Christian, I don't want to hurt you."
"Don't worry about it sweetheart, you can't hurt me." He lays my head back on his chest. "Please, continue."
"Well, it's about this girl, who is socially awkward, and emotionally...sensitive. Her family is completely dysfunctional, and she was released from the hospital after she tried to cut herself. She is trying to be normal, getting a job as a secretary at an attorney's office. The boss's name is Mr. Grey."
"Bullshit!" He yells, looking at me, making sure I'm not making this up.
"I'm serious, his name is E. Edward Grey." I lay my head back on his chest.
"This is not a story secretly about me?"
"No, I don't think so. Mr. Grey hires her, even though technically she is overqualified. She is actually really smart, but she doesn't look the part."
"Did she wear a bottom-up white shirt and black slacks?" I look back at him, not happy with his reference.
"No! And my black pants were very nice. May I continue?"
"Yes, please Ms. Steele." I stick my tongue out at him. He grabs it quickly with his two fingers. I kiss his hand and start giggling about our silly behavior once again.
"So," as I continue with describing one of my favorite movies, I lay my head on his chest again, and place my hand on his chest as well. I rub comforting circles over on him. "Mr. Grey has strict working conditions. She is ok with this, but she finds it challenging working under such pressure. She does everything Mr. Grey says, and even though she makes mistakes, he would be aroused by her behavior. She would literally do anything he said, but he never abused his power.
"He later found out that she use to hurt herself, and he demanded that she never do it again. She happily obliges, and they then go into a Dom/sub type relationship. With that relationship, she becomes sexually and personally confident. She also falls in love with him."
"Does he love her?"
"Well, there lies the conflict. Mr. Grey doesn't like that he has these sexual…habits. It makes him feel insecure and unsure on whether he loves his secretary or not. So he distance himself from her."
"This isn't a movie, is it? You could tell me I was wrong."
"It is a movie, I swear. We can watch it later."
"Ok, go on."
"Because of their uncertain relationship, the secretary ends up dating someone else, and tries to have a conventional relationship. They have terrible sex. Mr. Grey finds out, and he fires the secretary."
"Good. I do not like sharing my submissive." Interesting.
"She gets engaged with her boring boyfriend, even though she doesn't want to. But when she is trying on wedding dresses, and her family all around her are acting like everything is fantastic, she realize she hates her life, and loves Mr. Grey. She runs back to Mr. Grey and declares her love for him."
"And he takes her back."
"Nope, he is uncertain about her loyalties and devotion to him. He tests her by telling her to sit in his chair and not move until he returns. She does it willing."
"For how long?"
"Three days!"
"What! That's crazy!"
"She loved him. She wanted to show her love for him. So she was willing to do anything to prove her devotion."
"Wow."
"Yeah." I relive the moment of seeing that movie for the first time. Seeing what was willing to do to show her love. She was willing to risk her life. That is oddly really powerful. "He eventually returns to her, and takes her to his home where he bathes her and nurtures her. They got married and continued their Dom/sub relationship."
"So Ms. Steele, why do you like this film?" Christian curiously asks. "And it better not be the hunger strike to show her love craziness."
"No, it's not." I don't know if I am ready to tell him.
"Tell me Ana, what is it? I won't judge. I'm the wrong person to do it." It's time to tell him Ana. You can trust him.
"My mom and dad were together for a while, since I was seven years old, but eventually my dad couldn't stay with her. My mother, Carla, would be distant with him. She would even cheat on him. So, my dad divorced her. He didn't know though that she would get full custody of me. He was in the military, and didn't have a stable environment. I went to my mother, with visitation from my father mainly during Holidays and weekends."
"What did your mother do for work?"
"That's the thing. She was the most unstable person I know. She would do all kinds of jobs. She started three business, all of them failing in the end. We would travel from city to city, never settling in one place. I use to think it was her way of showing me the country, but she really moved because of a man and money. She would date a man for a couple of years, and the moment she got bored, she would dump him and move on, taking me to another city."
"Sound hectic."
"It was more than hectic. It was hell. I never knew where I belonged. I was constantly the new girl, trying to make friends, but it didn't matter. We would move eventually anyways."
"So you like the movie, Secretary, because you saw a couple who were truly devoted and loyal to each other, right?"
"Yes." And? "And he never betrayed that trust. While he might of have his own insecurities, he did what she said, and always tried to care for her best interests. After she realize she loved him, she was willing to do the same for him. They had an amazing relationship, one I never seen before." My mother was unstable when it came to men, I never saw a good relationship. I saw it in that movie. Christian looks at me like he understands. But I see in his eyes, he has a lot of questions. "I did some research on BDSM, and as long as the Dom doesn't abuse his power, it seems like Dom/sub relationships can last forever."
"I have heard of those long lasting relationships, but never seen them. Although looking back, Elena was keeping me on such a tight leash. I think she made sure I never connected with a sub."
"Maybe you can connect with me."
"I don't want to hurt you, Ana."
"Maybe we can have a kinky relationship; something that works for us."
"If I can be blatantly honest." I'm nervous about what he is going to say. "You are inexperienced. I am not saying you're not sexy. It is because of your past, you have not experienced a lot." I hate what he is saying is true. I don't know anything about sex, except for what Kate describes to me in her relationships and from the movies I watch. He had to teach me how to do a blowjob for goodness sakes. "I need to know why do you want to explore this different type of lifestyle. And it can't be because you want to be with me."
"Because…" I decide to sit up so I can look directly at Christian again. I want to show him how serious I am. "I'm sick of being scared of being intimate. I want to try new things with someone I trust. I see all this stuff in movies, and it kinda turns me on." He smirks at the remark. "I want to try it."
"So you want to try for some kinky fuckery?"
"What?" I laugh at his statement. "What is kinky….?"
"I like to think of it as some kinky sexy fun we can both have. Lots of orgasms." He says confidently.
"Then yes. We can see if it works for me, for us. We can write out a contract to see what we are willing to do and not do."
"You are quite the expert Ms. Steele."
"You know what I mean smartass."
"Language, please." I pinch Christian's nipple. "Ow! Unfair Anastasia, I'm the one who hands out the punishments." Christian laughs.
The room grows silent, with the waves from outside being our only sound. I lay back down on his chest, cuddling his side. Christian breaks the silence, "I will never push you into doing something you don't want."
"I know. I trust you."
"That trust means the world to me Ana."
As the light of dawn appears in our room, I realize we have been up all night. This is the longest we ever have talked. I look to Christian to tell him, but see he has fallen asleep. I lay content in his arms, ready to go to sleep, and suddenly I feel free, like the burden I have been carrying is smaller.
That's because Christian is helping to carry it.
