A/N: Okay, this chapter uses some of my head canon for the episode namely that Stan knew something happened to him that prevented him from lying and was telling them disturbing things on purpose so they would reviser it... After all originally it was told from Mabel's point of view... so yeah...

Also shortest chapter so far thanks to the fact that well I'm not adapting a whole episode, just part of one... Enjoy!

Chapter 17: Trooth Ache

It was just a normal day at the Mystery Shack. Everyone was watching Elfman wrangle a bear for Stan.

Stan had ordered the bear from elsewhere as it was fairly trained, but it was still a bear.

"Don't punch it too hard!" said Stan as Elfman wrestled with the bear with one of his arms having turned to Stone, "I need it in show room condition."

"I know! You told me like five times…" muttered Elfman.

"So what are you going to do with the bear again… teach it to ride a bicycle?" asked Dipper.

"Of course not! Everyone teaches a bear to ride a bicycle! I'm going to teach it to drive!" said Stan.

Stan looked around.

"I was expecting a sarcastic comment…" said Stan, "Where your mom?"

"She decided to do a job today." Said Dipper.

"Oh… whatever…" said Stan with a shrug.

And so he began to teach the bear to drive… and the twins tagged along…

After all how many people can say they were in a car being driven by a bear?

Stan was telling the bear more instructions.

"And the yellow light means go faster…" said Stan.

That was when they were pulled over by Blubs and Durland.

"Do you have an explanation for this?" asked Blubs.

"You see you I'm an old man not long for this world and the doctor gave me a Seeing Eye bear." Lied Stan, "Just in case I have to be driven to the hospital…"

"Do you have a doctor's note?" asked Sherriff Blubs.

"I do right here…" said Stan writing a fake note from behind his jacket, "And it's coming…"

He handed them the fake note… the worst part was the doctor's name.

"Can't argue with Dr. Medicine." Said Blubs with a shrug.

"To the hospital Honey Pants!" said Stan as the bear drove away while roaring.

Sometime later Stan was making "Gold Nuggets" just spray painted rocks.

"Grunkle Stan, how can you lie to them?" asked Mabel, "Don't you know lying is wrong?"

Stan sighed.

"When you get to be my age you learn that sometime you learn to bend the truth for the great good." Explained Stan.

He began to eat a plate of spaghetti.

"Has anyone seen my spaghetti?" asked Dipper.

Stan hiding the spaghetti.

"I think Soos ate it, you know how he is with food." Said Stan.

"This is a very dark day." Muttered Dipper.

Stan breathed a sigh of relief.

"Glad he didn't react like the cake… I mean…" said Stan.

Mabel glared at him.

"I mean… for the greater good." Said Stan.

Mabel decided to consult Waddles about it… since really she just needed to hear it from herself.

"Waddles what am I going to do bout Grunkle Stan?" asked Mabel.

"Maybe you should check Dipper's journal! Oink! Oink!" said "Waddles" (really just Mabel using him as a puppet).

"Say Oink one more time"! said Mabel.

"Oink! Oink"! said "Waddles".

"Waddles you genius!" said Mabel.

She looked it up and found "Truth Teeth", a set of gold teeth that made the wearer unable to lie.

She managed to find them in the Safari Zone after searching a lot…

Okay, that didn't happen but finding a set of false teeth that were gold for an old was begging for that joke…

And so in the middle of the night and forced the teeth into his mouth.

"What!" yelled Stan waking up, "What's going on… Mabel."

"Hey quick question… what happened to Dipper's spaghetti plate earlier." Said Mabel.

"I ate it! Because I have little concern for other people's things or emotions…" said Stan he then realized what he said, "That was strangely candid… like I'm unable to lie… oh well good night…"

He went back to sleep.

The next morning she told Dipper and her mom about it.

"That sounds like a real bad idea." Said Dipper .

"No it's not because he can't lie now!" said Mabel.

Erza sighed she knew it was better if Stan lied… She had known him long enoguh that it was better to not only lie but pretend that truth never existed at all.

After all the twins right now didn't know what burglebezzlement was let alone how it worked.

"Mom is everything all right?" asked Mabel.

"It's fine…" lied Erza, "I'm sure it will be fine…"

That was when Stan entered the room. Mabel mentioned to him and Dipper decided to ask him a question.

"Hey was I wondering what do you do on your break?" asked Dipper.

"I usually spend the hour aggressively scratching my self in places I should mention. Now I'm going to pretend not to read the paper to avoid eye contact and later use the bathroom without washing my hands…" said Stan.

The twins cringed when he said while Erza sighed.

But of course Stan wasn't an idiot, he quickly realized that he could lie... and quickly deduced that that Twins were behind it…

After all Erza ran into his pug trafficking three times in the first year she lived with him… and there's no way she would do such a thing.

So Stan during his break (instead of scratching) decided to talk to his only old man friend… Makarov.

The two started bonding over Erza and the fact that they are only willingly obey authority if they have to…

Considering that Stan has a long rap sheet and Makarov was hiding someone with possibly an even worse yet shorter wrap sheet... the two got along…

Plus there was the fact that Makarov needed some old man friends in this universe since his were well… in another universe.

"This really sucks you know… I know I speak my mind all the time, but usually I keep a lid on it well enoguh…" said Stan.

That was when Mirajane poured him a drink.

"Thanks Sugar Tits!" said Stan.

Mirajane laughed and gave a polite smile.

"I know you're unable to lie right now…" said Mirajane, "Just please don't call me that again."

Stan looked at the smile, he could read that it said "Do that again you will regret it…"

"You know she's one of the strongest in the guild right?" asked Makarov.

"I am…" said Stan, "And I'm very close to voiding my bowels right now…"

"You really don't have a lid on it do you?" asked Makarov.

"I don't…" said Stan, "If only I could figure out a way to punish those two brats…"

That was when he got an idea.

"What if I tell them disturbing truths bout life and try to get myself arrested." Said Stan.

While they had become friends they still had to get know each other more.

"That's a great idea." Said Makarov with a laugh.

"What?" asked Stan surprised.

Makarov was…. Interesting when it came to dolling out punishments… hell he even made it part of the race that Guild would have every year and the loser would have to face a punishment game.

The previous race was a fun one as there was a four way to tie for last place between Natsu, Gray, Gajeel and another member named Jet…

"Sounds like the best punishment in my opinion." Said Makarov.

Stan laughed and wrapped his arm around Makarov .

"This guy! This guy!" said Stan.

Stan checked his watch and his break was almost over.

"Well I have to go…" said Stan, "Have to make it that I've been starching in places I shouldn't mention."

Stan was about to leave.

"Wait hold on, I have one more thing to ask you." Said Makarov.

"what?" asked Stan.

Makarov took out a blue pen.

"What color is the pen?" asked Makarov with a cheeky grin.

"The pen is blue." Muttered Stan with a sarcastically laugh, "You saw Liar Liar didn't you?"

"It was a good movie." Said Makarov with a shrug.

And so Stan began his punishment for the two.

A man asked if a shirt would fit him, Stan's response was "Forget the t-shirt! Look at this guys abnormally un-attractive face!"

"I'm so sorry!" said Mabel trying to comfort the poor man.

Dipper ended up in Stan office while he did tax's, there was only one message on there.

"I HAVE COMMITTED TAX FRAUD."

"Grunkle Stan… why did you write this?" asked Dipper.

"Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud." Said Stan.

"Might want to put that away here…" said Dipper putting it in the tax shrewder.

Of course that wasn't all.

They were all watching TV together laughing at a man named on Alex trying to juggle and ride a unicycle at the same time… plus there alligator snapping at him so yeah…

"Sometime I thin is this all that there is?" asked Stan, "Is life some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? That we're all just bidding our time until the sweet, sweet relief of death?"

The twins were both horrified, Erza just glared at him and mouth "dial it back."

The next day, Stan was scratching some place.

"Kids, I think I have a growth forming on my back! Just wanted to be honest!" called out Stan.

"They're at the Guild Hall." Said Erza walking towards the table.

"Oh…" said Stan.

"I was wondering… did you consult with Makarov about this plan?" asked Erza.

"How did you know?" asked Stan.

Erza didn't answer.

"Oh right…" said Stan.

At the Guild Hall, the two kids were there trying to get away with Stan.

Mabel finished a milk shake and slammed her face on the counter.

"Another one Mira!" said Mabel.

"What's wrong?" asked Mirajane despite knowing the truth.

"I gave Grunkle Stan some truth teeth that prevents him from lying… I mean it's the best thing right? He's being honest." Said Mabel.

"That's not necessarily a good thing." Said Mirajane, "Sometimes you have to lie to protect someone…"

"Like how?" asked Mabel.

"For example Jellal." Said Mirajane.

She mentioned towards the blue haired man who reading a book, it was cellar he was pretty exhausted and was just taking a break.

"Master lied about Jellal's identity… so he wouldn't be arrested." Said Mirajane .

Mabel glared at Jellal.

Jellal noticed this.

"I'm going opt take a job." He said.

"Sit back down! You're on break!" said Makarov.

Jellal had been taking jobs like crazy lately as if he was avoiding something.

Makarov was forcing him to take a break.

"Okay bad example…" said Mirajane.

"Hey!" said Cana, "I've been lying since we got here."

"Really how?" asked Dipper.

"I've been claiming I'm older than I really am." Admitted Cana, "It's best for the guild that I do too…"

"How is it best for the Guild?" asked Mabel.

"You want me to go sober?" asked Cana.

Both of them didn't answer.

"I'm legally an adult in this country and I can't drink, how crazy is that that?" muttered Cana taking a sip of wine.

"What does Grandpa Macky say about this?" asked Mabel.

"I'm fine with, seriously, those laws too strict." He muttered.

"What about your dad?" asked Mabel.

"I agree with Makarov… those laws are too strict…" said Gildarts.

"Besides…" said Makarov, "She's been drinking since she was 13, long before the legal age in Fiore."

Mabel sighed.

She wasn't going to get assurance from this group.

"It's Mabel…" whispered Lucy to Levy.

"Definitely Mabel." Agreed Levy about that it was Mabel who did it to Stan.

Some time later they got back to the Shack just as Blubs and Durland arrived.

"Upon further investigation there is no Dr. Medicine in Gravity Falls." Said Blubs.

"Stan… what did you do recently?" asked Erza.

"I was teaching a bear to drive for one of my attractions." Said Stan.

"Stan…" sighed Erza as she face palmed.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" asked Durland.

"Yes, I lied to you, in addition, I've been parking in handicapped spaces, shop lifting fire works and smuggling endangered species through state borders." Said Stan, "Oh and your fat."

Blub dropped his coffee.

"Is all this true?" asked Blubs.

That was when the kids came in.

"No… no… it's not!" said Dipper, "Isn't that right Mabel?"

"I'm going to be totally honest with you… you see our Great Uncle Stan is… is…" sighed Mabel who realized she had to lie, "Secretly a crime fiction writer."

"What?" asked Blubs.

Erza did her best not to giggle at that explanation.

"That's right, it's for his newest page turner Crime Grandpa." Said Mabel, "Also have you lost."

"Someone noticed." Blubs said to Durland like an old married couple.

"Wow an author, can you teach me to read." Said Durland.

"As you can see Stan's record is clean, so you two should leave…" said Erza, "After all he need to work on his book."

She shooed out the two cops.

"I can't belie I lied…" said Mabel.

"It was for the greater good." Said Dipper.

"I've known Stan for years and I gave up trying to do the right thing a long time ago…" said Erza.

"How did it take?" asked Mabel.

"Two… maybe three weeks." Said Erza.

"Where is Stan?" asked Dipper.

They found Stan by the phone.

"Hello Police station… I have to tell him about my tax fraud…" said Stan apparently the person non the other end didn't understand him, "Tax Fraud."

The twins ran over and tackled him. Mable had to take the teeth out of his mouth.

"We have to get rid of these!" said Mabel.

Both of them ran out of the room.

"False teeth?" Said Stan confused about what just happened.

"I wouldn't question it…" said Erza with a shrug.

And so Mabel learned an important lesson about lying that it was good to lie sometimes… for the greater good.

But what about the teeth?

Mabel locked it away in a box, then tossed it into the Bottomless Pit... Her and family (and Soos) and Soos ended up falling and told Stories to pass the time… but that's a story that doesn't really need to be told.

Next Time: After a failed attempt at Hiring Fairy Tail to do his dirty work, Gideon decides to take control of Natsu! Can the Twins and Natsu's team mates snap him out of it? will they finally learn Gideon's secrets? Find out next time!