Chapter 21: Manliness VS. Manliness
Mirajane, Elfman and Lisanna were siblings. While it hasn't been brought up it is was true. The three were very close. They lost their parents at a young age and how they learned their magic and joined the guild is rather sad. Because of that they had each other.
Which was why they were going to their own house and live together.
The three were in Greasy's Diner looking over unclaimed land in Gravity Falls deciding to go the route of building their own house instead of buying like Erza.
"Okay… this area looks the most promising." Said Mirajane.
"We would have to check it out." Said Elfman.
"I hope it's nice." Said Lisanna.
The three sighed.
"We still need more money." Said Mirajane.
"Hopefully we can find good jobs." Said Lisanna.
"And I do have an idea for something." Said Mirajane.
"What?" asked Elfman.
Mirajane told them her idea what she do to raise more money.
Both of them paled.
"I sure that's a good idea?" asked Lisanna.
"I think she'd be good at it." Said Mirajane.
Elfman noticed the manliness tester and the prize.
"Oh I found a way to save money…" said Elfman.
Everyone in the diner watched as Elfman approached it, he barely had to touch it when it said "Manly Man!" and then exploded.
"Oh yeah! I'm a real man!" yelled Elfman taking the pancakes.
The diner cheered.
However Manly Dan saw this and grunted.
"All right Elfman!" said Wendy who ate breakfast with her father.
"You know him?" asked Manly Dan.
"He's a member of the Guild." Said Wendy with a shrug.
Manly Dad nodded hearing that Wendy had started hanging out at the guild thanks to Erza joining.
He got back to the table.
"So… do you think it's a bad idea?" asked Mirajane.
Both Elfman and Lisanna sighed.
Sometime later in the Guild Hall, Dipper was looking at the request Board while Marvelous and Carla helped him pick a job.
His mother thought it would be a good idea to start taking smaller jobs that didn't require much magic.
Usually those were just stuff like yard work or helping people with other chores.
"Go to the bakery and buy bread?" asked Dipper.
"It's Mr. Strange's job." Said Marvelous, "The man loves to buy the bread when it comes out of the oven but he's at work at the time so he started hiring us to get them while he's at work."
"Oh… okay…" said Dipper.
That was when they were joined by Elfman and Lisanna.
"Finally starting jobs?" asked Lisanna.
"Yeah, I can't find a good one. "said Dipper.
"So how the house planning going?" asked Marvelous.
"We have an area in mind." Said Lisanna.
"What?" asked Dipper.
"Oh you haven't heard we decided to move out of the dorms." Said Lisanna.
"But didn't Makarov give everyone a grace period that they wouldn't have to pay rent for a year?" asked Dipper.
"He did, but you know it's probably better if we're in a house together." Said Lisanna.
"Makes sense." Said Dipper.
They looked at the jobs.
"All right!" yelled Elfman, "Found the perfect job!"
"Getting rid of Manotaurs from Manly Dan's Logging Camp?" asked Carla.
"It's got your name written all over it." Laughed Lisanna.
"Did they misspell Minotaur?" asked Marvelous.
"No…" Dipper said bluntly.
"You've dealt with them before?" asked Carla.
"Yeah." Admitted Dipper.
"Well I'm taking this job." Said Elfman going to tell Makarov.
"Wait if you dealt with them before…" said Lisanna.
"Unless someone takes me on a job, Mom's making me start out with easy jobs." Said Dipper.
"Why?" asked Carla.
"Don't ask me…" said Dipper.
At a nearby table, Erza and Mirajane were talking.
"So what did you want to talk about?" asked Erza.
"Well you know how I'm planning to move out of the dorms.
"Of course." Said Erza.
"Well I'm unsure if I want to do some jobs." Said Mirajane, "Since you know the easier jobs don't pay well and I'm unsure about the monster jobs."
"You can handle the monster jobs." Said Erza.
"Not that I can't handle them… it's that I'm afraid of over kill since we'll still new in town." Said Mirajane.
"That makes sense." Said Erza.
"Well I wanted to make an offer." Said Mirajane.
"I'm not getting you a job at the shack." Said Erza.
"Oh it's not that… besides the monster jobs would pay better than the shack." Said Mirajane.
"Then what?" asked Erza taking a sip of tea.
"Well it's just that I think I should teach Mabel transformation for her secondary magic." Said Mirajane.
Erza dropped the teacup.
"You want to teach more magic!" said Mabel popping up from under the table.
"What were you doing under there?" asked Mirajane.
Mabel shrugged.
"Please! Mom! Please!" said Mabel.
Her eyes were sparkling.
Erza sighed.
"Fine…" she said.
"All right!" yelled Mabel.
Those at the request board saw this.
"I think that bread job is looking nice about now." Said Dipper wanting to get away from that.
At the logging camp the loggers were just doing their job.
That was when there was a yells as some of the loggers ran out of the forest.
"There's another one!" yelled one of the loggers.
"When are those wizards going to deal with them!" yelled Manly Dan.
That was when Elfman showed up.
"It's going to take a real man to take on those things." Said Elfman.
Manly Dan looked at Elfman.
"Look at him!" said one of the lumberjacks.
"He has his tattoo on his neck! That is so hard core!" yelled another.
That was when the Manotaur who was Beardy emerged from the woods.
"Are you cowards going to run again!" yelled Beardy.
"So Manotaur! I'm going to show you what a real man looks like!" yelled Elfman as he turned his arm reptilian.
"Oh you want a fight?" asked Beardy.
That was when Elfman decked him, hard.
"Oh I want a fight!" yelled Elfman.
"Come at me man"! yelled Beardy.
The two got into a fistfight.
A fistfight that Elfman was winning.
Elfman turned his arm into something metal and gave one final punch knocking Beardy out.
"Oh… by the way thanks for the arm!" Elfman grabbing Beardy's arm and suddenly it transformed into a copy of the of arm.
The lumberjacks besides Manly Dan cheered.
Manly Dan however glared at Elfman and narrowed his eyes.
Meanwhile not too far away from the Guild, Mirajane begins her lessons with Mabel.
"All right there are three levels of transformation." Said Mirajane.
That was when she transformed into Erza, however her clothes stayed the same.
"This is basic level." Said Mirajane with her voice still the same as usual.
"It's weird… that your voice is still come out of mom's body." said Mabel.
"Yeah, but remember that's just basic level." Said Mirajane.
Then she transformed once again, she was still Erza but was now dressed in what Erza was wearing earlier.
"This is intermediate." Said Mirajane even copying Erza's voice.
"That's much better." Said Mabel nodding.
"Mabel!" said Mirajane doing a spot on impression of her mother, "Don't' eat that, or do you want to get sick again?"
Mabel froze when she did that, then remember it wasn't her mom but Mirajane and started laughing.
"That was great!" laughed Mabel.
"It's important to get in character when you use transformation." Said Mirajane.
Mabel nodded.
That was when Mirajane turned to various animals.
"This is the advance transformation." Said Mirajane, "Not only can you change size but you also gain the abilities, it can be a huge advantage."
"So cool!" said Mabel's eyes sparkling.
"But I don't think you're mom won't let you learn that part for a while." Said Mirajane.
Mabel pouted.
"Besides you want to start as basic level." Said Mirajane returning to being herself.
"Yeah…" sighed Mabel.
"All right." Said Mirajane, "It's easier to transform into someone you know very well. So I want you to transform into Dipper."
"Are you sure?" asked Mabel.
"He's your twin brother and besides I'm sure you know what it's like to be in his body." Said Mirajane.
Mabel glared at Mirajane.
"Sorry…" said Mirajane.
"I want you to picture yourself as Dipper in your head while building up magic." Said Mirajane, "Then release all of that magic into that pictured image."
Mabel nodded.
"Now it's understandable if you don't' get it on your first try…" said Mirajane closing her eyes.
She opened them and saw Dipper… dressed like Mabel standing in front of her.
"Hey did I get the birthmark right?" asked the transformed Mabel showing off Dipper's embarrassing birthmark.
"You did." Said Mirajane shocked she got it on her first try.
"Do you have any other suggestions?" asked Mabel changing back.
Mirajane laughed after getting over her shock.
"Sure, I do…" said Mirajane figuring that it really wasn't a good idea to move onto intermediate right away.
At the Logging Camp. Manly Dan was paying Elfman the price.
Elfman was about to leave.
"You think you're manly?" asked Manly Dan.
Elfman realized what was going on…
"Oh I'm a real man!" yelled Elfman.
"Oh really what have you done?" asked Manly Dan.
"I just beat up a Manotaur!" yelled Elfman.
"Besides that." Said muttered Manly Dan.
"That's not the first monster I've beaten!" said Elfman.
"I regular beat arm wrestling machines!" yelled Manly Dan.
"No one's beaten me at Arm Wrestling!" yelled Elfman.
"This is my axe!" yelled Manly Dan pulling out a massive axe.
"This is my arms!" yelled Elfman Turing it into a bear arm.
"I once punched a Dinosaur in the face!" yelled Manly Dan.
(Flashback)
Manly Dan was punching Barty the Dinosaur in the face at a children's birthday party. The children cheered because none of them wanted to see Barty.
"Git 'im! Get 'im"! cheered Tyler.
"All right dad… I think that's enoguh." Said Wendy pulling him away.
Barty got up and his head fell revealing he was really Toby.
"I knew I should have came to party as the Razz Dazzler." He moaned.
(End of Flashback)
"I haven't but I know I will!" yelled Elfman.
"Man-Off!" yelled Manly Dan.
"What?" asked Elfman;.
"You mean! We will out man each other!" yelled Manly.
Elfman sighed, sure talk was one thing, but he never felt like he had to prove it to anyone.
However he also figured he could make it work to his advantage was well.
"Agreed, but if I win you have to build a house for me and my sisters free of charge." Said Elfman.
"Fine! But if I win you have to work at the Logging Camp and shoo away those monsters." Said Manly Dan, "At no charge."
"Agreed!" said Elfman.
"Agreed!" yelled Manly Dan.
Elfman heard the other lumberjacks yelling "Man-off! Man-off!"
Sometime later in the Guild Hall Elfman made that announcement.
"A man-off?" asked Natsu, "What's that?"
"A manliness competition." Said Elfman.
"Since when are you all about competing?" asked Gray.
"I have my reasons!" yelled Elfman.
"Let me guess you're going against Manly Dan." Said Erza.
"So you know him?" asked Elfman.
"He's Wendy's father." Said Erza..
Everyone at the Guild all stared at Erza in shock, surprised that Wendy was his daughter.
"He also had a crush on me not too long ago." Said Erza.
"Really?" asked Lucy.
"Mabel helped him in asking me out." Said Erza.
At the request board Jellal heard this.
"Did you go out with him?" asked Lucy.
"I turned him down." Said Erza, "After my divorce I decided I wouldn't settle again... If I'm going to be in a relationship it's going to be someone I have feelings for."
Jellal grabbed another job and went to tell Makarov.
Makarov sighed when he showed him the request.
"Really?" asked Makarov, "After she just said that?"
Jellal didn't respond and went on that job.
Mirajane whispered to Lucy, "We're going to have to try harder."
Lucy nodded in agreement.
As Jellal walked out the door Dipper walked in.
"Hey Dipper!" said Mabel who was transformed into him but with her voice and her clothes on.
Dipper jumped when he saw her.
"You learned to transform!" said Dipper.
Mabel transformed back.
"I know! It was so easy!" said Mabel.
Those talking about the Man-Off saw the conversation.
"How long did it take?" asked Erza.
"Less than a half hour." Sighed Mirajane.
"I'm still going to pay for the whole lesson." Said Erza.
"Thank you." Said Mirajane.
And so over the course of the next few days, the town got ready for the Man-Off. It wads a big deal and of course the town hired Fairy Tail to help plan it out since they did plan out a lot of even back home.
They even got the official cutest girl of Fairy Tail to MC the event.
On the day of the event there were stalls selling things, food and even a betting stand run by Stan.
"I hope that that there's some kind of draw… so I take all the money for himself." He mused to himself.
And so on stage Elfman and Manly Dan stood.
"Welcome to the first ever Gravity Falls man-off!" said Lucy, "I'm your host Lucy Heartfilia! The official cutest girl in Fairy Tail!"
In the crowd in Elfman's official cheering section.
"I didn't know that Lucy was the officially the cutest girl." Said Mabel.
"She won this year's Ms. Fairy Tail so she had that title until we deiced to hole the next one." Said Makarov.
"All right! The Man-Off will have multiple events that will determine which one is the manliness of them all!" said Lucy, "First off we have Manly Dan Corduroy!"
A good chunk of the town cheered through the loudest were Tyler and Dan's sons.
"And second we have Elfman Strauss!" said Lucy.
Most of the Guild cheered for Elfman, with his sisters and of all people Evergreen cheering the loudest.
"You were cheering loudly…" laughed Happy.
"He's a friend!" yelled Evergreen.
"You Looove him." Laughed Happy.
Evergreen began to take off her glasses.
"I was kidding! I was kidding!" yelled Happy.
Evergreen's magic worked much like Medusa, in that anyone who looked into her eyes turned to stone. Her glasses prevented it from working all the time.
"Good kitty." Said Evergreen.
"All right! So we have 11 Competitions to get through." Said Lucy, "So let's begin the man-Off! Let's see who is Manlier!"
The town cheered.
Deep in the Man Cave meanwhile Leaderaur growled, word had spread to the Man Cave about it.
"They're having a Manliness Competition… without me…" he growled.
He rarely ever ventured out and into town… if ever.
"They will pay for not inviting me"! yelled Leaderaur.
And soon they would pay for not inviting him.
Back in town the first competition started.
A Jerky eating contest.
"Who came up these competitions?" asked Dipper.
"I heard something about the Internet." Said Erza.
"Okay…" aid Dipper.
And so the rules were laid out.
"Whoever eats the most Jerky wins this round and remember no magic." Said Lucy.
"I know…" muttered Elfman.
"Begin!" cheered Lucy.
"Cue random '80s montage song!" Mabel suddenly yelled.
Everyone nearby stared at Mabel.
"Sorry just seemed like the thing to yell out." Said Mabel.
And so the Jerk Contest began, in the end Manly Dan was the one to win.
The second round was a punching competition, they used those punching machines.
Manly Dan punched it, and the bobble broke off.
They got out a new one and Elfman punched it, breaking the machine, all without using magic.
Round 2 went to Elfman.
The third round was an axe throwing competition.
Elfman glared at Dan knowing that this one was a bit rigged.
Of course Manly Dan won the round that had to with axes.
The 4th round involved race in some monster trucks.
Both of them crashed soon after leaving the starting line.
Neither one had ever driven monster trucks after all…
However Elfman got farther so he was declared the winner.
The 5th Round was a rock climbing competition. Manly Dan was the one to get to top first.
The 6th Round was a barbeque off.
The judges declared Elfman the better cook so he won that round.
The next round was breaking down a wall. Manly Dan managed to win this round.
The 8th Round was bear wrestling. There was a reason why Stan hired Elfman to wrestle that bear.
The 9th Round was lifting weights, Manly Dan managed to left of more.
The 10th round was a iron bending competition, who was bent an iron pillar more won.
Elfman was the one who bent his more.
"At five/five each, Elfman and Manly Dan are evenly marched! It's time for the final round." Said Lucy.
Everyone cheered .
"Arm Wrestling!" said Lucy.
And they began to arm wrestle.
Everyone cheered however the cheers got slower as everyone realized neither was losing.
"This looks like this is going to be a while." Said Dipper.
10 Minutes Later.
"Come on big Brother Elf!" cheered Lisanna.
She was the only one still cheering.
Everyone was board. There were many watched being checked.
Someone took out their phone and started watching that episode of 30 Rock that was about Arm Wrestling.
Well actually it was a B plot involving Arm Wrestling… but still… it was still more interesting.
"This is taking forever!" groaned Natsu.
"Something better happen soon." Said Mabel.
That was when everyone heard thumping sounds.
"what's that…" said Natsu.
"What smell like hormones and flame broiled hamburgers?" asked Mabel.
"Yeah I smell that too." Said Natsu.
"Oh no… "said Dipper, "It's him.,.."
"It's who?" asked Mirajane.
That was when a Shadow covered the venue and the town's people began to run away.
Indeed it was Leaderaur.
"The Leader of the Manotaurs." Said Dipper.
"How do you know the Leader of the Manotaurs?" asked Carla.
"I'd rather not talk about it." Muttered Dipper.
"HOW DARE YOU HAVE MAN OFF AND NOT INVITE ME!" yelled Leaderaur.
He grabbed both Manly Dan and Elfman. When he did most of the crowd ran away. Except for the Guild members, the Mystery Shack crew, Corduroys and Tyler.
"Let go of me you ugly cow!" yelled Manly Dan struggling.
"No both of you will pay!" yelled Leaderaur, "After all I am manlier than either of combined!"
Leaderaur slammed both of them to the ground. Then tackled them.
"Oh no!" cried Lisanna.
"Dad no!" yelled Wendy.
Stan was nearby filming this.
"Seriously!" yelled Erza.
"I deist the tape if they die, don't worry,." Said Stan.
Leaderaur began to punch the two of third into the ground.
"What do you thin you're doing?" asked Mirajane walking over to Leaderaur.
"Making them pay!" yelled Leaderaur.
"Are you going to kill them?" asked Mirajane.
"Maybe…" said Leaderaur.
"Wrong Answer." Said Mirajane.
"You're a woman what can you do?" asked Leaderaur.
They saw as Mirajane was bathed in a black aura… they watched as her body changed. Her ears were pointed and longer somewhat like an elf's. Her hair was jutting upward and it was much more wild, her hands were now claws and parts of her arms had scales. Not only that but she also had a tail.
She wore a skimpy purple one piece as well that did show off cleavage as well.
What's more her normally gentle features who was now cruel.
She glared harshly at the leader of the Manotaurs.
"Stop this now." Said Mirajane, her normally sweat voice much, much deeper.
"How do I know this isn't just a show." Said Leaderaur.
That when Mirajane cupped her hands, creating a ball of black energy, she which shot off a beam that sent Leaderaur of flying.
Leaderaur managed to get up and tried to punch Mirajane.
However Mirajane caught the punch without even flinching.
She managed to push him back.
"Leave now and I will do easy on you." Said Mirajane.
Unfortunately Leaderaur didn't listen, after all brains wasn't a Manotaur's strong suit.
He still thought he had a shot defeating Mirajane.
The poor, poor fool.
Mirajane managed to punch him into the forest, which was still a good ways away.
She then grew wings and flew after where Leaderaur landed.
Once it was clear Lisanna, Wendy and Marvelous went to two injured men.
"You okay?" asked Wendy.
"Fine…" muttered Manly Dan mad that it ended like that.
"You're seriously injured don't try to move." Said Marvelous.
"I think this competition is over." Said Makarov, "Almost everyone left and it's best to leave it as a draw."
"It's a draw!" yelled Stan, "Yes!"
"Stan…" said Erza.
"You're not taking my money away from! I got it fair and square!" he yelled out.
He took a out a smoke bomb and ran away.
Everyone stared at what Stan did and shrugged. They were used to antics by now.
"You're right." Muttered Elfman.
"What can you say that?" asked Manly Dan.
"I might be Manly… but my sister…" said Elfman.
That was when a powerful black and purple explosion tore through forest.
Manly Dan looked at the explosion in shock.
"Mira just saved your butt dad." Said Wendy, "Be thankful…"
He nodded vigorously.
"That's my magic teacher!" yelled Mabel cheering.
"You know she's not going to teach you that." Said Dipper.
"I figured." Said Mabel.
That was when Mirajane flew back and landed. She turned back to normal. Although she looked tired she smiled.
"Should we all head back to the Guild and have an after party?" asked Mirajane.
Eyesore shrugged and decided it was for the best.
And so there was an after party.
Which was a normal Fairy Tail party.
Manly Dan was grumbling under his breath at the bar.
"Hey if it's any consolation." Said Elfman, "I didn't care who was Manlier."
"What!" yelled Manly Dan.
"I just wanted a house." Said Elfman.
"How can you not care?" asked Manly Dan.
"You saw what my sister did." Said Elfman, "I'm no where near her strength. I did beat her once but that's only because I used a dirty trick."
"Why do you want the house so much?" asked Manly Dan.
"Hey a real man takes care of his family." Said Elfman.
Manly Dan looked at Wendy who had gotten into a conversation with Lisanna and Mirajane.
"All right! I'll give you that house of yours!" said Manly Dan.
"Really?" Elfman, "Thanks man!"
He slapped Manly Dan in the back.
"Hey!" yelled Manly Dan.
"Sorry!" said Elfman.
However Natsu and Gajeel had gotten into an argument over who could beat up Leaderaur and of course this erupted into a bigger fight.
"Get 'im! Get 'im"! cheered Tyler who as still there.
Of course this being a Fait Tail brawl people joined in.
Both Manly Dan and Elfman were going to join.
"Boys…" said Mirajane.
Both of them froze.
"Please don't join in." said Mirajane.
They both sat back down watching the brawl.
And so Manly Dan learned an important lesson that day, it didn't matter who was Manlier because after all there were women that existed who could easily out man the manliest man…
Or at the very least kick their butts.
Next Time: Mabel, her friends and Cana discover that a popular boy band is made up clones... so they deicide to free the,... but even then it will be come complicated. Meanwhile when Wendy tries to break up with Robbie he brainwashes her to day with him. What will happen? Find out next time!
A/N: I have to stay my best friend Technomaru came up with the Barney parody scene... IO meant to put it Dipper VS. Manliness but I forgot... He keeps joking about beating up Barney when we go to Universal... so yeah...
