A/N: As I said before I'm doing all five Mabel Guide to Life shorts, their going to much shorter (obviously) and before the chapter title there will be fake "Last time" just like the shorts, one will be a twist on a canonical one, one will be an unseen one from the open (which is this chapter) and three original ones.

Also I submitted a Run Down of the story to Alternate Falls on Tumblr. And they posted it this morning, so check it out (and maybe like and reclog if you're on tumblr)... and yes, I go by CrossoverPrincess there... Anyways enjoy!

Mabel sat on a chair while Cancer worked on her hair.

"This has been Mabel's Guide to Shaving Thing, in conclusion, don't shave your head unless you want to or you have access to a magical crab man who can regrow hair." Said Mabel.

"You want different style, baby?" asked Cancer.

"No this is fine." Said Mabel.

(Rolls opening)

Chapter 28: Mabel's Guide to Dating

Mabel sat a sat at able with Stuffed toys.

"We all know I'm an expert when it comes to dating, in fact I can't keep the boys away." Said Mabel.

It cut to a basket boy player made of cardboard and it was clear Mabel was holding it.

"Just let me back in your life" said the "Basket ball player".

It just back to Mabel.

"You know when you did Zach!" yelled Mabel who looked back at the camera, "Today we're going to test the dateability of four of Gravity Fall swingiest bachelors!"

It switched over a game show like set where Soos, Dipper, Laxus and Stan sat.

"Soos!" cheered Mabel.

"Get read y tot love me America." Said Soos as he looked at the wrong camera, "Wait… am I looking at the right camera?"

"Dipper!" cheered Mabel.

"Who are you making this for?" asked Dipper.

"Laxus!" cheered Mabel.

"I have no idea why I even agreed to this." Muttered Laxus.

"Grunkle Stan!" cheered Mabel.

"Well I'm here because I was promised bacon." Said Stan.

Mabel tossed him some bacon from off screen.

"I'm pacified." Said Stan.

"And now for a simple 9,000 question dating quiz." Said Mabel.

It cut to the four taking the quiz.

"Should a man pay for dinner every time?" read Stan, "What is tis Russia?"

"How do you treat contestants in a beauty contest" read Laxus, "Mabel! Is this supposed to be a joke? Because it's not funny."

"How many kids would you like to have?" read Soos, "Seven preferably… one to love for every day of the week."

"How do you treat a gal?" read Dipper, "Hovering around and laughing at everything she says obviously… nailing it…"

"While they're busy as work, I give you animal dating… well more like kitty cat dating!" said Mabel.

It cut to Carla walking out in the forest.

"What did you want to film again?" asked Carla.

That was when she noticed Happy showing up with the bouquet.

"Really?" asked Carla, "I don't know what she said, but she didn't tell me."

Carla began to walk away.

"Please stop filming." Muttered Carla.

Mabel countered to follow her.

"Look Happy is just a friend, all right." Said Carla.

She then flew away knowing that Mabel couldn't follow her.

Mable turned to Happy.

"Sorry…" said Mabel.

"It's okay, I'm used to it." Sighed Happy.

A title card appeared that said, "Results"

Mabel stood in front of the four participants.

"Grunkle Stan, on a scale of 1 to 5, you scored a three." Said Mabel.

"Yes! Yes!" cheered Stan.

"Dateable!" said a voice over with a stamp.

"This will limit your dating pool to widows, lady plumbers and convicts." Said Mabel.

"I consider this a win." said Stan.

"Laxus, thanks to the fact that you're a former bad boy trying to change yourself for the better you scored a four! Because ladies love a guy they can do that to!" said Mabel.

"I can change him!" said the voice obvert with a stamp.

"Do women seriously want that?" asked a confused Laxus.

"Dipper, you're score is…" said Mabel, she looked at the score, "Eesh!"

She managed to push down the feelings and sugar coat it.

"You know what… score really don't matter, all that matters is being yourself." Said Mabel.

Dipper looked confused as the voice and stamp said "Questionable."

"Soos, on a scale of 1 to 5…" said Mabel, she was shocked at the results, "You scored 12?"

"My grandma was right all along, I am the world's most perfect man." Said Soos.

He held out arms, the sun rained down on him as birds landed on his shoulder.

"Total Hunk" said the voice over and stamp.

A title card that said "Final Thoughts" appeared.

"Love is all around us! And if it seems like you two aren't the right fit! FORCE IT!" yelled Mabel, "Now if you excuse me I have to go help Juvia win over Gray!"

Next Time: Mabel teaches about the history and the different types stickers! What will happen? Find out next time!