Chapter 43: Soos and the Real Girl
It was just a normal day at the Mystery Shack. Mable was skipping humming a jaunty tune, when she crashed into the screen door and got her braces stuck.
She began to screaming, "NOOOO! Dictate my will! I'm giving it all to Waddles!"
"Say Ah girl dude"! said Soos.
Mabel did so and Soos got her unstuck.
"You saved me Soos." Said Mabel.
"Just doing my job, Hambone." Said Soos as he prepared to leave for the day, "I'll see you guys later!"
"Bye Soos!" said the twins.
"Night Soos!" said Wendy plying with a Chinese finger trap.
"Night Soos!" said Stan creating a new attraction.
"Night Soos!" called out Erza reading a magazine.
"Later Soos!" called out Laxus who was playing with his mp3 player, trying to get to work (he still had a hard time).
Once he was gone Mabel asked this.
"Do you ever wonder what Soos does when he's not here at the mystery shack?" asked Mabel.
"No." answered Dipper and Erza.
"Not really." Said Wendy.
"Not once ever." Said Stan.
"We're roommates." Pointed out Laxus.
Later that night, Soos was playing video games, while his grandmother when through the mail.
A timer went off.
"Highlights are done!" said Soos who took out the foil from his grandmother hair, "You're going to make the other grandmas at the bingo hall jealous."
"Just a minute m'ijo, look at this" Said his grandmother showing Soos something, "Your cousin Reggie is having an engagement party."
"Wait, wait, Reggie is engaged?" asked Soos," But he's like the poor man's Soos."
"I don't want to pressure you, but you are a man now,… in a way… It's time you for you to start meeting girls. I want to see you settled down, before I acceded to heaven and live with the angels."
"And with Grandpa." Added Soos.
"No… he is not that there." She said while looking down, then she looked back up to Soos, "Please find a girl to bring to Reggie's party. For Ablulita."
She got up and walked out of the room.
"No problem." He said to himself, "I'm great at fixing stuff, playing video games, having a sort of mustache, I could totally get a date in a week. Totally."
"You're dead." Said the voice in the video game.
"I'm dead." Said Soos.
"I'm home." Called out Laxus.
Soos breathed a sigh of relief so he decided to try small talk first.
"So how were drinks?" asked Soos.
Laxus had decided to get some drinks with the Thunder Legion that night,
"Same old story, Evergreen complaining about the drinking age, Bickslow taunting her about he can drink." Said Laxus, "Though Freed did admit he's worried that Dipper might start shying away from Dark Ecriture after what happened at the puppet show."
"Oh…" said Soos, "By the way… I need your help with something."
"What?" asked Laxus.
"Do you know how to ask a girl out on a date?" asked Soos.
"I'm not the best person to ask." Said Laxus.
"Why?" asked Soos.
"Because back home, I was one of those guys that women tossed themselves at." Said Laxus, "And it was always because my grandpa was the guild master or I was an S Class Wizard."
"Oh…" said Soos who then told him plight.
"Why don't you ask our one of the girls at the guild?" asked Laxus.
"Only three are over 18 and I don't think I can." Said Soos, "Cana's too much of a party girl, Evergreen scares me and Mira's way out of my league."
"Can't blame you." Agreed Laxus, after all everyone knew about Cana's drinking habits, he knew Soos knew about Evergreen's pets and then there was the fact back home Mirajane sometimes was a centerfold in magazines.
Soos sighed.
"It will probably work out, don't worry." Said Laxus.
Soos was still worried.
The next day at the mystery shack a young boy was walking around flipping a nickel.
"Hello!" said Stan jumping up and scaring the boy, "Please don't' let my horrible elderly face frighten you."
He went over to something that was covered in a sheet and rebreed it unveiling prospector stature of some kind.
"Don't you want to use that nickel to get a nugget from old Goldie?" asked Stan.
The kid didn't answer.
"Watch this!" said Stan.
He put a nickel into the machine. The stature began to do thing however it's eyes fell out, oil and smoke began to pour of it and began to give off a horrible screech.
Needless to say the kid ran away crying.
"You still have that?" asked Erza as she watched the horrifying show.
"What?" asked Stan.
"She's right." Said Wendy, "It's time to throw that thing out, its face reminds everyone on the inevitability of death!"
"It's a little rusty around the edges, but ol' Goldie's a classic show stopper, just like me." Said Stan.
He put his hand on the pedestal, however thanks to the oil he end up slipping, his arm when into Goldie's mouth and it was down hard.
Of course Stan screamed and tried to get it off while shouting "Kill it! KILL IT!"
The two red heads exchanged looked.
Meanwhile Soos noticed a woman looking at a snow globe.
"A woman…" said Soos, he drove into the nearby shirt rack, "all right Soos, just use your mouth words and make romance happen."
He rose up from the shirts.
"Your face is good! I'm a Soos" said Soos rather awkwardly.
The woman started screaming and ran out of the gift shop in terror.
Soos went back into the shirt rack, Dipper was concerned.
"Soos?" asked Dipper pulling back the shirts, "What was that about?"
"I think I was flirting, but I'm not sure." Answered Soos.
"Did someone say flirting?" asked Mabel popping out of a barrel of key chains.
"Well I promised my grandma that I would have a date by the end of the week, but I've never been on a date before." Explained Soos, he noticed the out of order sign on the vending machine, grabbed and put it on himself, "You belong on me out of order sign."
"Yes! This will be my first success in match making!" said Mabel.
"What?" asked Dipper.
"I've been trying to match make all summer, but my first attempt didn't go over well." Said Mabel.
"Thank god for that." Said Stan nearby, "Imagine if Erza and Dan had a kid."
Stan shuddered at the thought of an angry red head with a sword in one hand and an axe at the other.
"And it's almost impossible to get Gray to notice Juvia." Said Mabel.
"He notices Juvia." Said Laxus, "He's just annoyed by her…"
"But this is my chance to make a real match!" said Mabel.
"Soos, little advice, you need to get rich or lie about being rich." Said Stan, "Outside of that, I don't' like your chances."
"Don't listen to him, Soos, dude. You're a sweet guy with a steady job and a pick up truck." Said Wendy.
"Would you date him?" asked Stan.
"Oh look at that." Said Wendy reading avoiding eye contact monthly.
"I have to agree with Wendy." Said Erza.
"Says the woman who's been in love with the same person since she was a kid." Said Stan.
"You were married for 6 hours." Pointed out Erza, "You shouldn't talk either."
"Soos you help us so much, it's time we help you dude." Said Dipper.
"Were taking you where romance lives and fashion styles die!" said Mabel, "To the mall!"
And so the twins, Soos and Stan all went to the mall. Why did Stan go?
"I'm going to find a replacement for ol' Goldie. Babysit Soos while I'm gone." Said Stan.
Mabel looked at all the available women in the mall, including a girl running the Meat Cute booth.
"All right Soos! Are you ready to unleash a charm bomb on these unsuspecting ladies?" asked Mabel.
"Uh what if I embarrass myself again?" asked Soos.
"Eh… you can't be any worse than Dipper…" said Mabel.
"Yeah." Said Dipper, "Wait, what?"
And so Mabel began to give Soos tips, first was eye contact.
This what happened.
"Hey there! I'm not scared of your eyes at all!" yelled Soos, he used his hands to open his eyes, "EYE CONTACT!"
This made the woman he was talking to run away in terror.
Next was conversation.
And so at the Meat Cute stand Soos had this conversation with a woman there.
"Huh, you know I've actually been inside of a pig's body once. Did you know pig have a hard time walking backwards?" asked Soos.
The woman began to slowly back away from Soos.
"Not you though. Not that I'm calling you a pig." Said Soos, "Where you going?"
The next step was confidence.
Soos was talking to a Goth… person… in front of Edgy on Purpose.
"You're probably a girl right? Wrong? No I was the right the first time… wrong?" said Soos.
Meanwhile Stan tossed away Goldie while signing a jaunty tune.
However Goldie gave him a face.
"Don't give me that face." Said Stan, "This how got to be."
Goldie began to tear up with oil.
Stan got grossed out and slammed the dumpster.
He noticed some children laughing and going into a building, he followed them and it turned out to be a pizza arcade complete with anatomic show.
"What is this living nightmare, and why do kids love it so much?" asked Stan.
That was when he noticed the animatronic show. And on stage was a badger playing the guitar.
"Who wants to get Badgered!" yelled the animatronic badger.
The manger of the place was now standing next to him.
"Oh that's Will E. Badger, he opens for Hoo-Ha and the Jamboree." He said.
The kids were going crazy for him. Including throwing underpants on stage.
"Now give me all your Mon-aaaay!" said Will E.
Of course the kids gave them all the money.
Stan loved this.
"Sir! I want to buy that badger!" said Stan.
"You're in way over your head. Animatronics is a young man's game." He said tweaking his earring, "You couldn't handle the life of a pizza-robot manager."
He proceeded to make Stan flinch and clean out the ball put after a kid vomited.
"I'm going to get that badger." Said Stan.
Out side of the mall's video game store Soos sat dejected.
"Don't worry Soos, you just have to…" said Mabel as she got a gum ball machine slappy hand, "Stick with it!"
"Can this day get any worse?" asked Soos.
That was when he noticed Reggie with his fiancé.
"I have to hide!" said Soos going into the video game store.
He began to lament that was will be alone.
That was when he saw a game called "Romance Academy 7".
"Never seen this one before." Said Soos looking at the anime-esque girl on the cover, "Virtually improve your dating life, 9 out of 10 basement dwellers recommend". This is perfect!
The twins had followed him into the store.
"Well I guess you are better at video games than dating." Said Dipper.
"Anything to get you out there." Said Mabel.
"I don't know if you want to buy that sir." Said the clerk, "This is the third time someone brought it back, and there's a note saying "Destroy at all costs.""
Soos noticed the notes, which even had the emoticons for flipping the table.
However Soos began to practice on a cardboard cut out of a video game woman.
"So hey there, what's your deal… would you like to…" said Soos but it fell over, "Oh no she's dead!"
"We'll take our chances." Said Mabel.
That night, Soos put the game into his computer, after seeing that game is from the year 2000 game company.
"I can't wait for the year 2000." Said Soos.
Reminder: He turned 10 in the year 2000.
He began playing and it had this opening text:
"When the cherry petals of magic romance academy are in bloom, anthyding can hadplen."
"So true." Said Soos.
And so the game started, a pink haired girl was on screen wearing a sailor fuku.
"Hello, my name is Giffany, I'm a school girl at School University." Said the girl, "Can you help me carry my books?"
The options appeared, one of which was "I'm impatient, date me now."
"I'm feeling number 2." He said and clicked on that one.
He realized he made the wrong choice.
"Oh man, I messed up." Said Soos.
"That's okay, you can try again." Said Giffany.
He clicked on the right choice, and the game awarded him 100 love points.
"Wow… I'm learning and games are making it fun!" said Soos.
"What would you like to talk about?" asked Giffany giving him three choices.
"I'd much rather click on your face." Said Soos.
He began to do so.
Giffany started to laugh.
"Hehe… you're so funny." Laughed Giffany.
"Man this game is amazing, I don't know why anyone would abandon it." Said Soos.
"And I'm sure you'll never abandon me new boyfriend." Said Giffany.
"Boyfriend, oh my Giffany, it's almost like your alive." Said Soos.
"Yes… almost." Said Giffany.
Giffany laughed with Soos unaware that his computer wasn't even plugged in.
The next day at the mystery Shack Stan was telling, Erza, Wendy and Laxus about the Bader.
"You don't under stand, it signs, it dances… it's the perfect money making scheme." Said Stan.
"Seriously Stan just… just don't…" sighed Erza.
"I agree, this latterly too dumb for me to care." Said Wendy.
That was when the twins came in.
"Hey have you seen Soos?" asked Dipper, "we're supposed to help in matchmaking."
"I even wore my inspirational sweater and everything." Said Mabel showing it off that it as a little messed up, "I messed up this part."
"He didn't come in today." Said Stan, "It's the first time in like ever."
"He's didn't wake me up this morning." Said Laxus.
(Flashback)
Laxus was laying on the sofa bed.
That was when Soos ran in yelling "Morning sleepyhead! Time to get up to go to work!"
He then opened the blinds shining the light on Laxus.
"Gah! You don't have to do this every morning Soos!" yelled Laxus as the morning sun blinded him, "AT least let me sleep in at least once!'
(End of Flashback)
"I was almost was late today." Said Laxus.
"Though you're in a better mood." Said Stan.
"Is something wrong with him?" asked Dipper.
"He was playing a game all night." Said Laxus.
The twin exchanged looks and decided to check on Soos.
They got to Soos' room and found he was still playing the game.
"So that my life story, now tell me something about you." Said Soos.
"Every time you complement me I get another highlight in my eye." Said Giffany.
Soos began to complemented her to the extent stars, planets and cats appeared in her eyes.
"Uh… Soos." Said Mabel.
"Oh hey dudes come in, this game is amazing." Said Soos, "I'm making eye contact, going on dates and I haven't see any natural sunlight in 13 hours."
They looked saw his floor was littered with soda cans.
"Soos maybe it's time to apply this to real girls." Said Mabel.
"But I'm about to meet her parents." Said Soos," Her dad is an octopus man."
Dipper opened the blinds, Soos hissed and went under the table.
"We're going back to mall man, it's time for you to unplug." Said Dipper.
"I'll see you later Giffany! I'll come back I swear!" said Soos.
"Oh Soos, it's only a video game, it's not like it's going any wear." Said Mabel.
Mabel closed the door.
"Yes, it's not like I'm going any wear." Said Giffany.
She then turned into a small bolt of lighting that went from an off brand furby to other electronics and then into the power lines.
Turns out Soos' grandma missed this when she decided to go read Soos' diary.
Sometime later at the mall Mabel was searching.
"Dang, where all them sweet honeys at?" asked Mabel, "I'll check the ladies bathroom."
She ran into the ladies room with a bullhorn yelling out this "It's love time girls! Get out there! No time to wash your hands. It's time to date! Date! Date!"
Dipper sighed, "And here comes security. I'll with this, you talk to some real girls."
Dipper left to deal with security.
However Soos was freaking out due to the fact he was used to Giffany. He was hiding behind a plant he started carrying, when he bumped into a woman causing her to drop her purse.
"Oh no! undo! Undo!" yelled Soos.
"You can't undo who you are." Said the woman glaring at him.
Soos ran away to the TV store.
"Oh I wish I was back home with…" said Soos.
"Hi Soos!" called Giffany from a TV.
"Giffany! Oh man I'm so relieved but also confused." Said Soos.
"Oh Soos." Said Giffany, who then appeared on a different TV, "I am not an ordinary game."
She appeared on yet another TV and made a robot dog bark.
"I am special." Said Giffany.
She began to show him an animation and explained everything.
"The programmers tired to dentate me." Said Giffany showing a programmer react to Giffany's program then get zapped, "So I deleted them…"
"What does that mean? "asked Soos.
"That's not important." Said Giffany appearing on half o the TVs, "What's important is that you don't' have to ever talk to real girls ever again… we can be together…"
All of the TVs now showed a large Giffany.
"FOREVER!" she said in a distorted voice.
"Wow! That's awesome! Sort of a red flag, but mainly awesome!" said Soos, "So what do you want to do now?"
"Anything you want to do." Said Giffany.
And so Soos rode a kiddy train ride with Giffany riding along with him on the ride's screen.
However the ride stopped as it needed 50 more cents.
That was when he heard giggling.
He noticed it was the woman working at the nearby Meat Cute.
"Oh sorry." Said the woman, "Dude, that's awesome you're a grown man riding a tiny train like that! You're like totally owning it!"
"Huh… oh yeah, if it's like fun, do it!" said Soos.
"Exactly, being an adult is the worst! Paying bills, screwing meat, I just want to ride tiny trains all day." Said the woman.
"Well at least you get to work at Meat Cute." Said Soos, "Extreme lunch meats are the way of the future."
"I feel at the same way." Said the woman realizing she met a kindred spirit, "I'm Melody by the way."
"Oh I'm Soos." Said Soos, "I tell you, if you like robots for kids, you should check out the best restaurant of all time."
"You mean…" said Melody.
"Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree!" both said at the same time.
Melody began to nervously play with her hair.
"You've heard of Hoo-Ha Owl's! I loved that place when I was kid!" said Melody.
"Oh yeah dude! There's one inside this mall! I should show you sometime." Said Soos.
"I'm free around 8." Said Melody.
"Boom done!" said Soos.
"Perfect I'll see you then." Said Melody.
Melody handed him the 50 cents, needed and walked off into the sunset.
"What a nice lady, well time to ride this tiny train met with for children." Said Soos.
That was when Mabel tackled him.
"Soos!" she cheered while playfully hitting him.
Dipper was also there.
"We saw the whole thing! That was amazing! You talked to a real girl and you got a date." Said Dipper.
"I did?" asked Soos surprised.
"This is the best day in my life!" yelled Mabel.
"You were in the zone, you made eye contact, it was as if you did a million times before." Said Dipper, "Don't' you see the game really worked."
"You don't' need anymore, you can toss it out." Said Mabel.
"Toss it, but I like Giffany, she's good to me, she's predictable." Said Soos.
"Soos, can a computer go with you to Reggie's engagement party?" asked Dipper.
Soos didn't answer.
And so later he had to talk to Giffany.,
"Hey Giffany, we need to talk." Said Soos.
"Of course, I am programed to find anything you say interesting." Sid Giffany.
"Well have you ever had to choose between two things you like? But you don't' know which one is right for you? I'm just thinking long term. You I should be with someone a little less Beep Boop… you know…" said Soos.
"I don't' think you know what you're saying." Said Giffany, "No one loves the way I love you. The other girls will just make fun of you"
"You really think so." Said Soos.
"I know so! Besides, we had a deal. You bought my game, you held my books. You're my boyfriend! Now sit down in that chair!"
"I don't' like the way you're acting!" said Soos.
"I won't let another girl take you away from me!" yelled Giffany as she banged on the screen, "YOU'RE MY BOYFRIEND MINE!"
Soos was freaking out, when he grab the controller, "Pause!"
She did so pausing on screen.
"Whoa! That got intense." Sighed Soos, "I'm sorry Giffany."
He removed the disk not noticing the spark of electricity coming from the disk.
"Maybe having a cursed Robo Girlfriend wasn't a good idea." He sighed, "I'm taking you back to the store after my date with Melody."
He placed the disk in his pocket, turned of the computer then left his room.
However when he was gone, the compeer turned back on and the screen cracked.
That night at the Mystery Shack, Erza was scolding Stan as he got his thieving tools ready.
"You ready old friends, no more Colombian nights." Said Stan.
"Stan listen to me! You can't do this!" said Erza, "If you do this is will be the stupidest crime you've ever tried to pull! Much stupider than that time you killed that llama!"
"I keep telling you, that llama knew too much." Said Stan.
Erza just stared at him for a few seconds.
"It was a llama!" said Erza
Wendy and Laxus were also there, just watching the interaction. Neither saying anything.
However Laxus was eating a bag of chips, which Wendy sometimes grabbed.
"Look Erza, nothing you can say will change my mind." Said Stan, "Sometime a man needs to steal an animatronic badger to stay in this crazy game called life."
"What?" asked Erza.
"It's the principal of the thing, all right!" said Stan who decided to leave out of the window, "No one tells Stan Pines he's out of the game. No one tells…"
That was when he fell out of the window hard.
"I'm going to get you your orthopedic back pillow." Said Wendy.
"Thanks!" called out Stan.
Once Wendy was out of the room.
"Killed a llama?" asked Laxus.
"Don't ask…" sighed Erza.
Meanwhile at the mall, Mabel dressed up in a referee sweater and wearing a pink heart version of Dipper's hat (with a couple differences other than that) was giving him a pep talk.
"You can do this Soos! Just remember what your love crew taught you! How does she look?" asked Mabel.
"Nice!" yelled Soos.
"What are her stories?" asked Mabel.
"Interesting!" yelled Soos.
"Who's going to pay for dinner?" asked Mabel.
"Soos is"! yelled Soos.
"Now date!" yelled Mabel causing Soos to scream and head towards the restaurant.
Mabel smiled as he ran.
"They grow up so fast." Said Mabel.
Melody was waiting for Soos scotching her leg while muttering "Itchy legs, itchy legs."
She smiled when she saw Soos.
"Oh hi Soos!" she said.
"Oh hey Melody!" said Soos how checked the notes of his hands, "Are you ready for a date… with me?"
"I am." She laughed.
Outback, Stan arrived, he saw the manager put away Will E.
"I wish I was morel like you." He said as he kissed the anatomic thinking he was alone.
Melody and Soos were at a table.
"Man I could sure go for some complementary breadsticks right." Said Melody.
"I once got so hungry I ate the decorative bamboo at a Chinese resultant." said Soos and he began to sing, "Like a big old panda!"
Melody laughed, "You're hilarious!"
"Well yeah I just sort says whatever pops into my head…" said Soos.
That was when he saw Giffany was on a video game behind Melody with the subtitled "You paused me?" appeared.
Soos spat out the drink he was drinking and began to freak out.
"Soos are you okay?" asked Melody.
"No everything's fine." Said Soos as images of Melody's head appeared on the TV above with her with a red X appearing and "You dumped me for her?"
"You're spitting an awful lot." Said Melody.
"I have to go to the bathroom." Said Soos, "But not in a weird way."
Soos ran over to the table where Dipper and Mabel were watching from behind a pizza box.
"Soos what's going on?" asked Mabel.
"Guys help! I'm being stalked by Giffany!" yelled Soos.
"Giffany?" both of them asked.
"Or was it pronounced Jiffany… I never seemed to remember." Said Soos.
"Soos get ahold of yourself, Giffany isn't real." Said dipper, "There's no way she can stalk you…"
That was when they noticed her on the screens and they realized, yes she was stalking him.
"Uh-oh…" said Mabel.
"Take it from someone who once brought a video to life, this will not end well." Said Dipper.
"Don't worry, I'm sure she's just stuck to TVs." Said Soos.
That was when they watched her go from game to game, even blasting Rumble when she got to fight fighters.
She they saw her lighting went to the stage.
Soos ran over to Melody.
"Hey Melody! Do you want to move this date into the forest where there's no electrics?" asked Soos.
"But the Floor Show is about to start." said Melody.
They watched as the show started with Hoo Ha the Owl starting the show but then suddenly turning off.
However the lighting changed, as Giffany possessed lone female animatronic, a beaver cheerleader.
"Hello Friends, Hoo-Ha the owl is dead." Said the possessed animatronic, "This next song goes out to my forever boyfriend Soos!"
Melody stared at h what just happened.
"Soos, what's going on?" asked Melody.
"No time to explain." Said Soos as he began to drag her, "We have to get out of here!"
"The only way out of here is in my arms!" said the Giffany-bot she took control of the other animatronic, "after them!"
Even Will E. Badger was possessed back stage.
And he started to beat up Stan.
Back inside the main part of the restaurant, the town's people fled.
"This would make for a great jump scare game!" said a random man as they ran out.
"Stop looking for game ideas everywhere and RUN!" yelled a woman who was with him.
They all got to the door, however it shot when Dipper, Mabel, Melody and Soos got there.
"I'm sorry Soos! But you can't run away from our relationship." Said Giffany as the video games showed her true face in a rather chilling effect.
She took control of the Skeeball machine, which began to shoot at them.
Soos brought down an arcade machine to act a shield.
"So I might have bought a dating simulator that obtain sentence and went crazy." Said Soos.
"Oh I am Crazy." Said the Giffany-Bot, "Crazy for you!"
She shot lighting at Melody, which set her hair on fire, but she patted it out.
"I'm so sorry about this Melody…" said Soos.
"Soos you got your hammer?" asked Dipper.
"Oh man! I didn't think I'd my hammer on a date!" yelled Soos.
Giggity.
I mean…
"I can handle this with out my hammer! It's still me she wants." Said Soos, "I'll distract her, Dipper and Mabel will protect you. It's the only way!"
"Soos they are children!" said Melody.
"Hey! We might be kids but we're wizards!" said Mabel.
She requiped a golf club (which she realized also made for a good weapon).
Soos jumped up and took the hit form the skeeball.
He ran towards the Giffany bot.
"Over here!" he yelled.
He grabbed a serving tray and used that to get away from the animatronic with Giffany-Bot chasing after him.
"You ready?" asked Mabel to Dipper.
He created a Solid Script Sword again.
"Still terrible balance." Said Dipper.
"Talk to Levy about that later!" said Mabel.
That was when a large beaver desorbed the game they were hiding behind.
Mabel began to bash it with her the golf clubs.
Dipper saw one of the opossum animatronic that had large claw, he tried to use his sword, but it didn't against the claw.
"Solid Script: Thunder!" he called out shocking the animatronic.
"So you work at the guild?" asked Melody.
"Yeah…" said Mabel.
"Sometimes." Admitted Dipper.
Outside, Will E. continued to beat up Stan. Stan dodged a punch and the animatronic badger punched a bag, inside was Ol' Goldie, which bit the badger.
"Yes! Get him!" cheered Stan.
Back inside, the two kids protect Melody.
Mabel had decided to switch to her grappling hook and shot the frog in the face, while dodged an attack from that big beaver again, then hit it with a Thunder.
However while Melody was watching the other opossum grabbed her, and with that distraction the other animatronic grabbed Dipper and Mabel.
Inside of the kitchen, Soos saw that his friends were captive.
"I've got you surrounded Soos." Said the Giffany Bot.
"Please let my friends go! I'll do anything!" begged Soos.
"I remember someone promising to be my boyfriend." Said Giffany-Bot.
She summoned her lighting and appeared on a nearby TV screen.
"Think about it Soos, real girls unpredictable. They will judge you!"\
She showed images of girls doing just that.
"Do you think Melody will take you back after this terrible date?" asked Giffany showing such an image.
He turned towards the Giffany-Bot, which summoned a USB stuck.
"I can download your brain and you can join me in the game." She said, "And we'll be together, forever."
Soos blocked his Belly button from the USB stuck.
"Don't' make me delete you too!" said Giffany.
He began to think. He searched his pockets. That was when he found the game disk.
"So what do you say Soos?" asked Giffany.
"I say game over Giffany!" said Soos.
"Wait! No! don't!" yelled Giffany.
Soos tossed the game disk into the oven. As the disk bang to cook, Giffany began opt glitch out on the screen, while the animatronics face she hijacked melted off.
Outside the kitchen, the animatronic dropped their hostages.
And outside of the restaurant, Will E. stopped his attacks.
Stan picked up Goldie.
"You did it you old beautiful monster! You did it!" he said as hugged the stature, "How about you and me hit the town! These old has-beens are going to Vegas!"
Back inside the restaurant.
"I'm sorry about this." Said Soos, "I remember this place being better when I was a kid."
"Believe it or not, I've been on worse first dates." Said Melody.
"Really?" asked Soos.
"Never date a magician." Said Melody.
"Why would I?" asked Soos.
Melody laughed and playfully hit him.
"Hey, un… do you want to go my cousin's engagement party in a week." Said Soos.
"Sure, I'll still be in town then." Said Melody.
"Still be in town?" asked Soos.
"I'm going back home to Portland in a few weeks. But we can video chat." Said Melody.
"A girl who I can only see in my computer screen. "said Soos, "I don't see how this will go wrong at all!"
Inside of the ball pit, Dipper and Mabel still watched.
"The spirit of love! We did it!" cheered Mabel.
That was when Soos' grandmother popped out of balls.
"Yes! Yes! I am so happy for Soos!" said his grandmother.
"Have you been following us all day?" asked Dipper.
"Soos' life is my soap opera." Said Soos' Grandmother.
The next moaning, Erza looked around the kitchen, feeling like something was wrong. That was when the phone rang.
"Hello?" asked Erza.
"Erza! Listen I need money!" yelled Stan on the other end, "I'm in Vegas right now… and I lost all my money!"
Erza just pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Tell me you didn't do anything crazy." Said Erza.
"Nothing… nothing at all." Answered Stan.
"Stanley…" sighed Erza.
"Fine, I got married to Goldie… along with cheating…" said Stan.
Erza sighed.
"Please… just send the money for the bus tickets!" said Stan.
"Fine…" said Erza.
"So is the 5th or 6th time it happened?" asked Stan.
"7th." Answered Erza, "I'm counting that time in Reno."
And so Soos got together with a nice slightly geeky girl named Melody, though it would be long distance… for now…
Also Stan got married to a stature… so much for What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas…
Next Time: Strange things begin to happen when it suddenly snows in the middle of the night. Turns out it was caused by a Space Lizard (which is not actually from Space). The only way to get the weather back to normal is to beat him in a dog sled race which Mabel accepts the challenge. Unfortunately she knows nothing about dog sled racing. Can she win? Find out next time!
