ENTRY 3

VALENTINE'S DAY CHEAT


Text from Jacob Black (10:59PM)

How are you?

Bella, will you plz talk to me?

Text Response from Bella: (12:00AM)

How am I?

I saw her, Jacob!

How dumb do you think I am?

And on Valentine's day?

Did you really think I'd believe your story that you had a UTI so bad, it makes you stay in the bathroom for thirty-minute intervals, every hour?

I've been to this stupid restaurant with a bunch of stupid guys.

I know there are two entrances in both bathrooms.

Don't puff out your chest because the men's bathroom gave you an easy escape.

The woman's restroom has two exits too, genius.

I know. I've used it. For dates like this one.

You forgot there was a hallway that led to the other room. And that my friend Alice and her brother are servers here.

So, there I was, figuring you just had to make up an excuse because it's not manly to be lactose intolerant.

I decided to go get some air and talk to Alice on her break.

Imagine my surprise when her brother, Edward walks out to tell me he thought I was seated in Alice's section.

Imagine his surprise when I told him I was.

Imagine my surprise at his surprise because my date was seated in his section.

And that pretty blond you're with? Edward said she asked him where the rest room was.

And for his phone number.

He could tell she was prepping for an escape too.

So, I'm fine.

Thanks for asking.

Edward got off work about a half hour later and took me somewhere better.

*insert image of selfie of Bella and Edward*

PS: He's a medical student too and says you're lying about the UTI.

PSS: Fuck you.

*insert image of Bella flipping Jacob off with her middle finger*


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