The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

The Cabbala.

"When you were young and your heart was an open book

You used to say live and let live

(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)

But if this ever-changing world in which we're livin'

Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die

Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die

What does it matter to ya

When you've got a job to do, you gotta do it well

You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) – The Wings "Live and Let Die"

Warning: Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

Rating: M, possibly MA.

Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O'Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Czarna Archer.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

Beautiful People.

"(…)The worms will live in every host

It's hard to pick which one they eat most

The horrible people, the horrible people

It's as anatomic as the size of your steeple

Capitalism has made it this way

Old-fashioned fascism will take it away

Hey you, what do ya see?

Something beautiful or something free?

Hey you, are you trying to be mean?

You live with apes man, it's hard to be clean

There's no time to discriminate

Hate every motherfucker that's in your way (…)." – Marilyn Manson "Beautiful People"1).

oOo

Tesladyne Island. The next morning.

Robo was as ready as he would ever be. It wasn't anything special to him. Being in three wars and countless special operations made him hard to impress but also taught him to expect nonsense of the kind that he never seen before. It that aspect life was unpredictable – every time he thought he saw everything something new occurred, so he stopped thinking that he saw everything.

He was packed, all his stuff was already on the plane. Now he just sauntered to the lobby, somehow he expected the girl to be there. His men were not too thrilled by the news but he was the boss. Jenkins wasn't thrilled either, but he was also accepting. He was also a bit offended that he couldn't go along but Robo explained that he needed someone in Tesladyne to call him should anything bad happen… like Vik trying to actually build a rocket to go to Mars to make fuel to go to some Asteroid to launch it at Jupiter. Jenkins accepted such an explanation but still wasn't happy to stay behind.

And speaking of the wolf… Jenkins was approaching Robo.

"Leaving already?" The man asked.

"Waiting for Door and then leaving." Robo affirmed. "You're still pouting?"

"No."

"But?"

"Are you taking it easy on me because I'm turning grey?" The man asked glaring at his boss.

"Why should I, you're still younger than I am." Robo joked but he knew it didn't have any effect on his 'sidekick'. "I'm not taking it easy on you. And you and your aging have nothing to do with you staying here. Heaven doesn't want you and hell's too scared that you'll do to them the same thing you do to vampires."

"Heh."

"I told you already, I need you to make sure they're too scared of you to pull any risky stunt."

"Yeah." Jenkins gave Robo a glare that was so old fashioned one could call it ancient. "You just want the girl for yourself."

"Door? I'm not into kids." Robo huffed in his own way. "If she was any younger she'd be a teen."

"She's pretty?"

"See for yourself." Robo gave Jenkins his version of sneaky glare as they entered the lobby. "She'll be here any moment."

"She's already here." Jerry smiled knowingly and pointed at the far end of the lobby where a lonesome feminine figure stood.

She was wearing the same coat as the day before and that was pretty much everything Robo could tell as she was standing with her back to them, observing something behind the window.

When she heard their voices she turned and beamed. Her colour scheme remained untouched but her attire was slightly different, the revealing corset disappeared, replaced with a waistcoat with white, equally revealing shirt.

"I have left my baggage in the hangar, the charming young man promised to put it in your aircraft." She marched to Robo and Jenkins. "Are you ready? We have two places to visit today."

"And this is Door." Robo turned to Door. "Door, this is Jenkins."

"Charmed." Door shook Jenkins hand.

"Why don't you go to the hangar? I'll be there in a moment." Robo asked.

"Don't take too long. The sooner we're done the sooner we're on the case." Door smiled at Jenkins and marched out of the lobby using the actual doors.

"Aaaand?" Robo re-focused on his old friend.

"If I was younger…" Jenkins grinned.

"Talk is cheap." Robo replied with humour. "Just keep them from blowing this island up."

"Will do." Jenkins stopped grinning. "And good luck."

"I'd don't do minors."

"Good look with your mission and not crashing the plane." Jenkins specified.

"Very funny." Robo huffed through his vents and walked away.

Behind him Jenkins smirked and walked in his own direction.

oOo

Tesladyne hangar.

"So, where are we going?" Robo asked when they were boarding the plane. "You know, I'm asking because I'd like to know where I'm flying to."

"You will be managing this vehicle?" Door asked. To her piloting a plane was rather exotic skill. Though he had to admit to herself that to her companion it was probably less unusual than her own method of travelling.

"Who else?" Robo asked surprised.

"I guess you're right." Door shrugged. "It is new to me though."

"Riiight… You just walk wherever you need to go." Robo gave the girl flat stare, or as flat as he could manage.

"Pretty much. I'm rather urban type."

"There's the first time for everything." He did his best attempt at shrugging. "Relax, I have plenty of experience and unless someone attacks us I'll get you there safely." He promised. "And now, where is the 'there'?"

"A place called Area 51." She said as if she was speaking of the nearest mall.

"What?"

"An air force base, I am told. Our target is held in one of their facilities. He is an enemy airman." Door informed. "The authorities of the base are already informed about our visit and are expecting us."

"With this group being what it is, do I even want to know what makes him so extraordinary?"

"Would you like me to recapitulate his personal dossier right now?"

Robo glared at the girl, the sight was far from unpleasant but the situation made his head ache.

"The flight will take some time so you can tell me all about him when we're up there." He decided. "And while you'll be at it, I'd like to know more about the rest of our targets."

"Won't it distract you from piloting?"

"Not more than it would if I was driving a car. Besides, up there is pretty empty and I will switch to auto-pilot anyway." He opened the door to the cockpit and walked in.

"Splendid!" Door smiled. "Let's hurry then."

Robo sat in the pilot's seat and gestured for Door to take the second pilot's seat. She wouldn't be doing any piloting but she would be telling him what there was to know about their future team-mates so it would make it easier if she was there.

oOo

They have landed without trouble; Area 51 had excellent landing strips. There was a man awaiting them when they finally left the plane. He was a colonel with short, spiky hair that looked like some bird had a nest in it. He winced due to intense, desert sun. Robo knew the type: easy going, happy go lucky with strong sense of duty. There were many people who would claim that Robo fitted the description just as well as the colonel did.

"Hi, name's Colonel Sheppard." The man shook hands with both Robo and Door; they've noticed that he was wearing pair of fingerless gloves. "You're lucky you caught me here, I spend most the time in Pegasus." He added not caring if they knew what he was talking about. "Otherwise it'd be someone else with you now."

"You know why we are here?" Door asked the man.

"You're here for our charming 'guest'." The Colonel allowed the air quotes fall silently in their places. "Let's get out of this sun before my skin'll peel off."

"So, I take that you have nothing against us borrowing him?" Robo questioned. He spend quite a portion of the flight wondering what and why he was doing and if Door wasn't nuts after all.

"None whatsoever." Colonel confirmed leading them to one of the buildings. "Technically he's not American citizen. If anything, he's the closest to being Canadian2) and only because he crashed near the border and wandered to our soil."

"Does that make him an illegal immigrant?" Robo asked jokingly.

"He's the most illegal one that exist." Sheppard smirked. "But since he landed in Canada which is British Commonwealth member, then in theory, there is no problem with him remaining under British custody."

"How about practice?" Robo held the door for Door.

"Practice? Take him out of my hair for as long as you want." Sheppard suddenly turned serious. "Just don't lose him permanently. The guy's a freakin' space vampire than feeds on people."

"That much we are aware." Door finally spoken. "My superiors talked with your superiors about this, I trust you know what they agreed to?"

"Yeah, I got lectured about it." Sheppard allowed his eyes to linger for a bit on the attractive woman. "Todd says that he will take him back and won't execute him on the spot."

"Who?" Robo's optics shone in the semi-darkness.

"His past and future boss. There was a mutiny; Spike was in the mutinous crew… never mind. It's a long story that you do not want to hear." Sheppard waved his hand dismissively. "And I don't have the time or mood to tell."

"You're in a hurry, Colonel?" Door sent the Colonel curious and intense stare.

"I'm to leave for Pegasus in the afternoon." He explained still not caring if the name meant anything to them. "Let's go to our little jail bird and be done with it."

oOo

The prison didn't look like prison at all. It was sterile looking room with Plexiglas box in the middle. It had small round holes for the air to be able to get into the box. In the middle was a cot with grey blanket and white pillow. And on the cot sat the man they were after. Robo assumed it was safe to call him a man since it was a male of the species.

Seeing he was having guests the prisoner rose to his feet. He was wearing grey jumpsuit and had simple slip on shoes. Under the jumpsuit was a simple, white undershirt. Certainly not the prisoner's original outfit.

The prisoner himself was a tall man, he was about two meters tall3), slim but not beanpole, rather lissom. His hair were reaching to his shoulders and where white, in the dim light it was hard to determine if he was grey or platinum blonde. His skin was pale and the light made it hard to tell what possible tone it could be, the light was giving it a slightly blueish tint with visible veins. From then on his features were becoming less and less human. His eyes had vertical pupils and plain, amber irises. He had no eyebrows. And there were pits on each side of his nose. Robo wasn't able to tell if they were viper pits or perhaps additional nostrils. To add a bit more oddity, the alien had a goatee.

"Hiyya, Spike." Sheppard said with faint mocking hint in his otherwise solemn voice. "I brought you some guests."

That was met with atavistic hiss that also revealed needle like teeth of the prisoner who concentrated on the colonel.

"And now the usual litany of hisses and 'I am your death' usually comes." Sheppard informed the other two. "They all say that when captured. After the first time it stopped impressing me."

"I was informed that he reacts hostile to his handlers." Door replied. "I believe it is only natural in position he finds himself in."

"It would make everyone's life easier if he'd walk the extra mile to just be polite." Sheppard glared at the prisoner. "But he has to play macho."

"Doesn't look that macho to me." Robo walked closer to the box.

"He's a space vampire who is damn hard to kill." Sheppard winced. "And Wraith are aggressive kind."

"Colonel Sheppard, I am an AI, I am built like a tank." Robo turned to look at the Colonel. "I've been fighting in three wars and been shot, hit, thrown and stomped on. I survived fall from the orbit and being taken apart and rebuild."

"I guess that would make you rather immune." Sheppard admitted.

"And him easy to squish." Robo added.

"Why have you brought them here?" Finally the prisoner spoke. His voice was just as inhuman as his looks. It consisted of many layers of harmonic notes resulting in melodic yet eerie sound.

"I thought you'd appreciate company." Colonel mocked openly.

"A mechanic abomination and a female with mind that sounds like background noise?" The Wraith hissed. "Are you trying to make me lose my senses?"

"He cannot sense you?" Sheppard turned to Door, clearly surprised.

"Openers perceive world in different ways than anyone else." Door clarified. "We have very original insight in life, seeing passages where there are none and doors where others don't."

"What's an opener?" Spike asked intrigued. He never heard of that kind of humans.

"I am an Opener." Door exclaimed. "I open."

"Yeah, she's here to open new possibilities for you, Spikey-boy." Sheppard decided to cut to the chase.

"I do not want anything from them." Spike turned away wishing to end the visit.

"They have a deal for you." Sheppard continued. "You may want to hear them." The prisoner didn't do as much as twitch. "Don't mind that, he'll hear you anyway, it's not like he can go away. Just say what you have to say."

"He can put his fingers in his ears and say 'la la la' loudly." Robo said jokingly.

"Don't give him ideas." Sheppard replied mirthlessly. Knowing his luck the Wraith would do just that.

"We offer you freedom." Door ignored the two males in her company and addressed the Wraith directly. "Cooperate with us and it will be granted to you."

"This is subterfuge." The prisoner turned his head to look back but didn't move to look straight at Door.

"Why would we bother with trickery?" Door asked. "You are already imprisoned. You are at our mercy."

"You want something from me." The Wraith growled.

"We want you to come with us and follow what she says." Robo crossed his massive arms over his broad chest.

"I do not trust you."

"Spike, my government talked with their government. You have been handpicked to work with them." Sheppard switched to his convincing tone. "We even decided to sweeten the deal. You are not going to be freed for that mission but released back to Pegasus." That caught attention of the Wraith who turned back to face his visitors. "All you have to do is to join Todd's faction and you can get back to Pegasus." The Colonel continued.

"Is that so, Colonel?" Spike the Wraith stepped few paces to stand directly in front of the transparent wall. He reached and rested both his palms against its smooth surface. "And what then? Having my former Commander end me for remaining with the mutinous crew and actively participating in failed invasion attempt at his human brother's home world?"

Door and Robo watched at the palm of the right hand of the prisoner. The left one was smooth and looking just like every human palm. The right one had what looked like cut running through the middle, it was red and clearly wasn't simply a wound. It did not bleed but rather looked like some strange kind of a maw.

"I spoke with Todd. He promised to allow you to his personal Hive and don't execute you." Sheppard ignored the view as if he saw it every day. "Unless you'll rebel again that is, but it's your choice alone."

"I find it all hard to believe." The Wraith took his hands off the plastic wall. "It sounds too good. And you still didn't tell me what they want from me that is worthy of such an offer."

"We are re-assembling a group that will have to perform a mission." Door revealed.

"What kind of mission?" The Wraith asked. He had a feeling that it would be much more complicated than they would let him believe. It usually was so. And that the offer he received would hardly be worthy of the difficulties he would be put through.

"We will be capturing two men connected to large and well supplied criminal organisation." Door elaborated. "They mission most probably be dangerous, and how much time will it take shall depend on our own ability to act fast."

"ISIS?" The Wraith asked.

"How do you know about them?" Robo questioned shocked. The creature was locked on a desert in an underground bunker in a plastic box.

"Soldiers are talking." Spike admitted. "I also am allowed some of you primitive television once a day and sometimes there is news available there."

"Do you agree then?" Door asked finally.

"I should deny, seeing as you are my enemies." The Wraith sighed in multi-layered sigh. "But if I am to be free it is to be as a part of my former Commander's faction, which is allied with you and that in turn would make you my allies also. And that would mean that I should agree, seeing that you are my allies."

"Your choice. Freedom as our ally or imprisonment as our enemy." Sheppard summed it up.

"And alliance sounds much more profitable for me." Spike finished. "Provided you will keep your end of the bargain."

"I always keep my end of the bargain." Sheppard narrowed his eyes at the Wraith.

"It would seem so." Spike replied with the same only his stare was more predatory.

Sheppard tapped his head set without looking away. "Norris, bring it in." He said and disconnected.

After a second a soldier came with handful of some clothes and pair of heavy looking boots. Sheppard released lock in the cell's door and the soldier threw the clothed in, everything managed to land on the cot. Sheppard immediately closed the door.

"That's some civilian clothes for you. You can change now; we will be back in half an hour." Sheppard informed the soon to be former prisoner. "You're leaving this joint today."

They walked out without a word leaving the Wraith with the clothes and silly expression.

oOo

Spike looked much better in normal clothes than in his prison jumpsuit but it was only natural. It is nearly impossible to look good in jumpsuit… perhaps a supermodel could look good in one provided she'd be totally naked underneath.

The moment Spike reached the open air he had to wince – he was unaccustomed to bright dessert sun. When he regained partial sight he realised that they were on a landing strip and heading to a jet. Colonel Sheppard was accompanying them.

Door noticed that in bright light the Wraith looked even less ordinary: his skin was pale green and his pupils turned into slim cracks in his otherwise yellow irises.

"Good bye and good luck." Sheppard said when they reached the stairs. "With this one here you will need a lot of it."

"He's the least of our worries." Robo replied. "He's not even close to being exotic, to me least."

"Really? Space vampires so common in your line of work?"

"You would be surprised." Robo chose not to go any further for the danger of mentioning the Vampire Dimension and then possibly some other things he didn't want to think about.

"At least he didn't hiss at you as you thought he would, Colonel." Door decided to change the subject.

"Ahh, now I know what I have forgotten about. Thank you for reminding me." Spike turned to Colonel. "Hiiisssssss… I am your DEATH!" He said with enough venom to poison an Olympic stadium tightly packed with people.

"I guess now your day is complete." Sheppard commented without much enthusiasm. "Have fun on your mission." The man walked away mumbling something under his breath.

They watched the Colonel walk away and then got to the plane.

TBC

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won't be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won't be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

Spoiler alert: this paragraph contains spoilers.

It definitely happens after the last episode of the last season of SGA, and additionally after my fan-comic. This means that Atlantis is back in Pegasus, Wraith are continuing their civil war with one faction allied with Lantians/Tau'ri. This is obvious reference to AU episode "Vegas", only this time it happens in the main time line and since Todd wasn't leading the Super-Hive but was on Atlantis, Spike and his wing managed to leave the Super-Hive but the shockwave hit them shortly after they have left the dart bay. Only Spike survived and now is prisoner in A51 (just like AU Todd/Gabriel was).

1) In SGA "Vegas" Spike was listening to this song when he was putting his human disguise on; I just HAD to use it here.

2) I know that in "Vegas" he's on the loose in Nevada, but we never really learned just where he crash landed. In addition Stargate was a Canadian show, it had mostly Canadian actors so why not making Spike landing in Canada?

3) For those who still don't use SI: that's six and a half feet.