Disclaimer: I own none of the recognized characters. I am merely borrowing them to satisfy my muse
Chapter 4
It was night now, the night before Talon intended to head to Redcliffe, to meet with the mages (much to Cullen and Cassandra's dismay). CJ had woken up from a nightmare, barely able to stop the scream in her throat before it sounded.
Knowing sleep would no longer come, CJ gathered her bag and headed out of Haven, intending to go sit down by the frozen lake. As she sat there, she pulled out a flute she had traded for long ago. Blowing a few notes to warm it up, she started playing a soft tune, a slow melody that she knew would draw the nugs. They loved music, and would run around and play to it. CJ enjoyed watching it.
She had been playing for maybe twenty minutes when she heard the footsteps behind her. Recognizing the tread, CJ continued playing.
Krem sank down beside CJ and watched the nugs play.
"Pretty handy." He murmured as CJ finished the melody. "Gather 'em all together and kill them with ease."
"I don't draw them to me so I can kill them." CJ answered. "I'd give them a fair chance to escape when I hunt them. Here, I like to watch them play."
"Can you draw other animals to you? Wolves or bears?"
"Cubs are more likely to be soothed by the music and so are willing to come close. But not the adults. They're too untrusting."
"Like you?" Krem questioned. "You barely trust anyone."
"That's not true." She denied. "I trust you and the Chargers to have my back in battle. As well as the rest of our group."
"So you trust us with your life." Krem accepted. "But not your mind."
She looked at him, an eyebrow raised in question.
"Had a nightmare, didn't you? That's why you're out here?"
"How do you know that?"
"Chief pinned you when you sparred today." Krem answered easily. "You always have nightmares the days when Chief pins you."
CJ blinked, shocked he had noticed that. "Have you been watching me, Krem?"
"I have." Krem nodded. "I expect it's because you remind me of a girl I knew back home. In Tevinter. She was a nice girl. Never treated me any different because of who I am. One day, she's gone. Turns up three weeks later. She'd been kidnapped and abused by a man with red hair. She couldn't give any more description than that. As time went on, she became more like her old self. We'd take walks and talk. Dated some. But whenever she saw a red-headed man, she'd freeze and go pale. Always needed me to comfort her after those instances. It was never the same man that took her, but the red hair was a trigger."
CJ was silent for a moment, and stared resolutely away from Krem.
"How long have you known?" She didn't bother trying to deny why she would remind him of that girl. It was obvious he knew.
"I was there, the night you told the Herald." Krem answered. "It was my night to scout, and I happened upon you. I listened."
CJ closed her eyes. "Two months. Two months you've known, and haven't said anything."
"How long did they hold you captive?"
"Six months."
"Every night?"
"Almost."
Krem swore under his breath. "Bastards."
"That's putting it mildly."
"So when the Chief pins you, during the sparring match, it doesn't bother you any more than losing usually does. But at night, when you sleep, it brings back memories of different bodies pinning you. Because he's a qunari, and your abusers were qunari."
"I know it's not fair,"
"Don't be stupid." Krem cut in. "You can't control your sub-conscious, CJ. You are not letting your nightmares or past cause you to treat Chief any differently than you treat every other male. I just wanted you to know that if you ever want to talk, I'm here." He stood up.
"What happened to your friend?" The question was out before CJ could stop it.
"The last time I saw her, she and her husband had just had their first child."
"She . . . . she got over her fear?"
"She found someone who helped her through her fear. And who would hold her when the fear was winning." Krem replied. "You've just got to find your someone."
"I don't believe in love."
Krem snorted and ruffled CJ's hair. "And that, fighter, is an absolute lie."
"Is not." She muttered, but Krem either didn't hear or didn't bother answering. CJ looked up at the stars. She didn't believe in love, did she?
