The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

The Cabbala.

"When you were young and your heart was an open book

You used to say live and let live

(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)

But if this ever-changing world in which we're livin'

Makes you give in and cry, say live and let die

Live and let die, live and let die, live and let die

What does it matter to ya

When you've got a job to do, you gotta do it well

You gotta give the other fella hell. (…) – The Wings "Live and Let Die"

Warning: Violence, explicit language, possibly gore.

Timing: 2015, for particular timing of the characters original universes, see footnote of their respective chapters.

Rating: M, possibly MA.

Pairings: Wilhelmina and Allan (past). Wilhelmina and Orlando (friends with benefits).

Disclaimer: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen original comic books © Allan Moore and Kevin O'Neill. Neverwhere (in character of Lady Door) © Neil Gaiman. Atomic Robo © Brian Clevinger and Scott Wegner. Stargate Atlantis (in character of Spike the Wraith) © MGM Studios. Hellboy (in character of Karl Ruprecht Kroenen) © Michael Mignola. Slenderman © Eric Knudsen (as Victor Surge). The story © Archer Black.

Dracula (in character of Wilhelmina Murray) by Bram Stoker. Allan Quatermain by sir Henry Rider Haggard. Orlando (or his/hers alike) by Virgina Woolf.

Ashes to Ashes.

"I want them to know it's me

It's on my head

I'll point the finger at me

It's on my head

Give it all to you, then I'll be closer

Smilin' with the mouth of the ocean

And I'll wave to you with the arms of the mountain

I'll see you (…)" – Faith No More "Ashes to Ashes".

oOo

East of Poland.

The place looked average. The roads they driven varied. Some were filled with holes, others were elegant and even. The only thing that was constant was the sense of very late autumn. Of course it was very late autumn but somehow in here it was more intense. The sky was leaden, the trees were bare, the air was chilly and the grass on the meadows was brownish and dry. This place had to be stunningly beautiful in spring and summer, even in early autumn it had to be like fairy tale scenery but right now it looked like gloomy noir film or gothic novel.

They were passing small villages every now and then as they approached their target. They were near, passing what seemed a small wood when Robo suddenly turned into a forest road and stopped

"What the hell?" Door asked in irritation.

"We can't go to that town." Robo stated with certainty of someone who claims that water is wet.

"Why not?" Door was ready to argue. They didn't have time for that; they needed to catch the Jihadists before they managed to cause any damage.

"Door, we're not in Paris. Or London for that matter." Robo pointed out. "We can't just stroll in the middle of the day, no matter how rotten, into a small town and not attract any unwanted attention."

"You know, Herrin Door, he is right." Kroenen backed the robot. "We couldn't do that in that French village and we can't do it here."

"Uh." Door realised that they were right. They would cause a stir. People would recognise Robo immediately, he was famous worldwide. Then they would notice the rest of them. "We still have to go there." She said knowing well that there was simply no other way than to go and deal with the problem.

"The plan we used in Paris is out of the question in here." Kroenen sighed.

"Why?" Spike asked surprised.

"Because east of Poland is pretty conservative even for local standards." Kroenen offered an explanation. "In Paris Herrin Door or I would simply pass as eccentric. In here we will stand out. Perhaps Herrin Door would pass as a member of some subculture but she would still draw unwanted attention."

That caused a moment of silence. The last thing they needed was attention and every one of them would draw it without even trying. They were the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, sure, but it seemed that they were a tad too extraordinary. At least the past groups had one or more members that could pass as everyday people anywhere. True, that in modern days Door would pass as just a punk girl, but she still stuck out in rural areas and small towns.

"How about we could just dress Spike up?" Door proposed to the Wraith's utter surprise. "A bit of make-up and dark glasses and voila!"

"We do not have dark glasses; I'm not sure if your make-up will cover that shade of green and how would you mask his cheek slits?" Robo asked unimpressed. "Not to mention allowing a space vampire to run free without supervision."

In answer Spike only hissed, but it sounded like an offended hiss.

"I say we do what we did in France." Robo ignored the atavistic noises made by the Wraith. "Let's wait until it is late enough. They we will look around."

"We cannot allow ourselves delay." Door protested.

"Even if they're already here, they need time to prepare." Robo said reassuringly. "With weather like this it will be dark soon enough, we will go then."

oOo

The evening recognisance brought no results. The town changed after the war and for those who didn't know the town's history it was hard to navigate around to specific places. Unlike in Western Europe, on the eastern side of the continent the war looked very different. The occupation looked nothing like in France. The brutality of Nazi German occupation followed by Soviet invasion that in theory liberated but in truth was yet another occupation for local people and then Soviet instalment of new political regime changed these lands almost beyond recognition.

Old Jewish buildings purposes were changed after the war – now that most Jews left there was no one who would use these building for their original purpose. They gained new lives along with new uses.

"This is all for nothing." Door folded the map. "We're eighty years and one World War too late to search for any Cabbalists in here."

"Does that mean that your Jihadists are not here either?" Spike asked eyeing a man walking past their car. The man did not pay them any attention and they were hidden from prying eyes inside of the car.

"Nah. They have no such problems with looks. Sure they don't look local but they can be tourists so they can walk freely." Robo looked back at the rest of the team. "They probably had more luck than we did, but if there's nothing here they won't find anything anyway."

"I have to be here." Kroenen disagreed. "During the war a number of occult and esoteric books were confiscated from Jewish societies and some of them originated from these lands." Kroenen started to explain. "I never came here but I have seen the books. If there were books here then there had to be Cabbalists and Alchemists in here too. I would wager that not all of these books were found."

"Probably not." Robo sounded pleased. "They managed to hide entire families here, you can count on that hiding a book or two wouldn't be much of a problem."

"Indeed." Kroenen nodded. "We need to find a graveyard."

"Why?" Door almost jumped. Scouting foreign cemeteries at night didn't sound appropriate… though she did plenty of inappropriate things in her life.

"To find out if there might be any modern Cabbalist or Alchemists anywhere near." Kroenen explained.

"All right, let's go to the cemetery." Robo shrugged and started the engine. "If it's not too late. You know Jews are buried in Jewish cemeteries but local priest should be able to help us."

"Sounds like a plan." Door sighed.

oOo

The cemetery was empty, no one really enjoyed sitting in a place like this after the dark. Few small, grave lanterns were burning on some graves. Some fresh flowers lay here and there. People remembered their loved ones, but they devoted moment of their time to them a bit earlier.

"We should find the cemetery chapel." Door looked around. "But which way to go?"

"There's someone." Robo pointed out at a distant alley. "Maybe someone who guards this place, maybe we can ask him?"

"How do you plan to do it? Do you know local language?" Spike asked. He knew that humans often spoke in different languages, but on Earth they differed more than any place else he knew.

"No." Robo admitted. "But maybe he knows English?"

"Typical." Kroenen sighed. "You Americans assume that everyone speak English just because you do and you never see need to learn other languages."

"What does that supposed to mean?" Robo stopped and narrow his optics at the German. "I speak four languages on top of English."

"Is any of them Polish?" Kroenen questioned.

"… no…" Robo huffed. He spoke Spanish, German, French and Serbian1).

"Then I will do the talking." Kroenen offered.

"Why, do you speak Polish?" Door gave him surprised look.

"I understand it." Kroenen admitted. "I speak five languages including German, I read in additional four including ancient Greek and Hebrew and I understand five more including Polish."

"So you can understand him, but how will he understand you?" Spike pondered.

"I will improvise." Kroenen decided and approached the man.

It was not a custodian of the cemetery - that was obvious instantly. The man was old. He was probably old enough to remember the war. And the moment Kroenen approached him the man's eyes widened in terror. It seemed that he recognised the ex-Nazi though Kroenen wondered how that could be. He never came to Poland, not during the war and as an SS officer. Even the information that he was commanding Auschwitz concentration camp were but rumours – he was busy with Rasputin through most of the war and when he was not with his Master and Teacher, he was supervising searches in France.

"Entschuldigung?2)" Kroenen asked in German.

"Święta Panienko!"The man huffed. "Diabeł!"

"Nein, ich bin nicht der Teufel." Kroenen shook his head. "Ich habe Narben und Verbrennungen auf mein Gesicht." He pointed at his mask. "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?"

"Ech…" The elderly man blinked few times.

"Ich spreche nicht, aber ich verstehe Polnische Sprache." Kroenen said nodding slowly when he spoke of Polish language.

It looked a bit comical from the distance where the rest of the group observed how Kroenen's attempts at communication. Slenderman's arms shook slightly.

"You understand it?" Door looked at the tall entity with surprise.

"He says that he does." Spike answered for the pale creature and laughed silently. "The old man took Kroenen for the devil. Whatever that means."

"Oh, this is rich." Robo almost squeaked in mirth. They were lucky though that the elderly man didn't notice them. They were exotic enough to give the man a fright.

After a few moments of chatting with the elderly local Kroenen returned while the man left untroubled in his own direction.

"Did you manage to find out anything?" Door asked curiously. It seemed like they managed to communicate but what was said exactly she had no hope to understand.

"Quite a lot actually." Kroenen seemed pleased. "And we won't have to look for a priest."

"What do you mean?" Robo glared at the German with surprise.

"Let's get back to the car. I'll tell you everything." Kroenen gestured to where they came from. "This man was kind enough to give me directions we needed and answer few of my questions."

"All right. Spill it." There was still doubt in Robo's voice. "Start with explaining how you even managed to talk with that man."

"He said that he learned German as a child during the war and he still understands it well enough. I proposed to speak in Russian but he refused saying it's for personal reasons3)." Kroenen spoke as they walked back. "I asked him about remains of Jewish society in the town but he said that it was either destroyed of plundered during the war. Then I asked him about stories of the Golem and he remembered that back then people talked about it being blown up by Germans which would be consistent with what Slenderman said. He said that it belonged to local Tzadic4) and the rumour has it that it didn't went down peacefully. Rumours had it that the Golem took at least two dozen of Nazi soldiers with it." Kroenen continued. "Tzadic's son wanted to make another but he didn't manage because he barely managed to escape when SS came to arrest him and confiscate his father's books."

"Then there's nothing here for the Jihadists as well." Door sighed in relief. The Jihadist would come here in vain then.

"No. Tzadic's son managed to snatch the most important book as he fled. The man's family was helping to hide Tzadic's son and his wife. The Tzadic's son hid that book in the local Kirkut5)."

"How does he know?" Robo was surprised.

"He was a curious child and once he followed the Tzadic's son at night when he was carrying the book to the Kirkut." Kroenen elaborated. "He had to hide it somewhere there, most probably in a grave of someone related to him."

"You think we should go and look for that book?" Door pondered.

"No, it wouldn't change anything for us. The Jihadists wouldn't know about it anyway." Robo shook his head. "Not to mention that the Nazis didn't fight any Golem here, they were fighting some sort of local partisans of someone like that."

"So now we know that there is no point it looking for anything here. If there was any alchemical laboratory it was destroyed during the war." Door summed up. "Where does it leave us then?"

"Nowhere really." Robo shrugged. "We don't even know if the Jihadists are anywhere near."

There was moment of silence when they reached their car and stopped for a moment. They stood there in the chilly air next to their car.

"Slenderman says that they're here." Spike suddenly broke the silence.

"How does he know that?" Robo asked irritated.

"He says that he can sense one of them." Spike explained. "The one the mind he reached in France."

"Where?" Door turned to the Slenderman with hope plain on her face.

The slim entity 'looked' at her for a moment and shrugged.

"He's not sure but they're near." Spike passed the message.

"It's not much but it's better than nothing." Kroenen admitted.

"We're still in the dark." Robo opened the car.

"They need to hide somewhere." Door approached the problem analytically. "They need a discreet location where they could build their Athanor and set their alchemical laboratory."

"They probably haven't built an Athanor yet. But they might have started setting their laboratory." Kroenen got into the car followed by Spike and Slenderman. "If we can catch them before they manage to start their work it would be most fortunate."

"But where can they be?" Door fastened her safety belt as the car moved."

"If Slenderman can sense them then they cannot be far. Still I do not believe they're in the town. It would be hard for them to find a place where people wouldn't become suspicious of two outlanders." Kroenen glanced at the faceless being. "What do you think?"

"He agrees." Spike replied for the Slenderman. "He says that there are enough post-war bunkers and hiding spots in local woods to set up couple of secret laboratories."

"You say you can sense them, at least one of them, can you lead us to them then?" Door asked Slenderman. If the creature could just lead them to the Jihadists it would make their task so much easier.

The Slenderman shook his head and turned to Spike.

"He says that he can't pinpoint them, he can only give their approximate location." The Wraith passed the message. "He should be able to sense if we're getting closer but that's it. He said that when he's hunting it's usually his prey coming to him not the other way around."

"But he can direct us to the right patch of trees?" Robo wanted to be sure.

"Yes." Spike confirmed and looked at the Slenderman for a moment. "But he want me to make sure you understand that he strongly dissuade you to go and look for them at night."

"Why?" Robo glanced into the rear view mirror to get a look of the mute entity.

The entity shifted slightly and turned his attention to Spike as if explaining something to the Wraith. The Wraith in turn seemed to 'listen' carefully and then furrow his hairless eyebrows.

"According to Slenderman there might be poachers' traps in these woods and they're hard to spot even during the day if someone doesn't know what to look for. At night we might get caught into one and get wounded." Spike repeated what the Slenderman told him. "And then there may be traps set by the Jihadists that we still have better chances spotting in daylight." He continued. "And I assent. While I see perfectly well at night, Lady Door and Doctor Kroenen do not."

"Agreed." Robo did not oppose. "I see in the dark and I guess Slenderman has no problems with lack of light either, but his point has merit. Also we have better chances of catching our two birds at day when they're probably working on their crazy ideas."

"Then it is settled." Door summed up. "We go on Jihadist hunt in the morning. But where will we stay at night?"

"I think there should be a hotel somewhere." Robo expressed his hopes.

TBC

OK. Since while LoEG fic, the LoEG is in itself a crossover, so do not worry if you won't be familiar with any of the characters, if the need will arise it will be explain and if you will have any additional questions or something won't be clear, you can also contact me and ask and I will answer you to the best of my abilities.

1) Knowing that Nicola Tesla was Serbian it should not be a surprise. Serbian language was created from splitting Serbian-Croatian.

2) Translation (you never know when languages come in handy – I used to learn German but I sucked at it big time, perhaps I should try again?):

"Excuse me?"

"Sweet Virgin! A devil!"

"No, I am not a devil. I have scarred and burned face. Do you speak German?"

"Eh…"

"I do not speak but I understand Polish language."

Also "Sweet Virgin" literally should be "Holy Virgin" or "Saint Maiden" and it refers to Mary.

3) To younger generation of Poles Russian language is no different than any other foreign language but older generations often harbour dislike of it because Poland was in Communist Block and they more often than not were forced to learn it at school (when they would prefer some other language to learn but they never had a say in that matter). The even older generations have even stronger feelings about it due to the fact of remembering Red Army (which behaviour was less than agreeable when they started to push the Nazis back, the Red Army was not so much liberating as conquering, you could say that in this case the medicine was just as bad as the disease) and the early post war years.

4) Tzadic is Jewish holy man, a Rabbi.

5) Kirkut is an old word for Jewish Cemetery used in Poland, it derives from German.