Joe's Note: Having written the original descriptions of Willow - and therefore how Michelle differentiated herself from her 'cousin' - from memory instead of pictures of Alyson Hannigan, there were a few things that were backward in the original version of this story. Michelle being the one without freckles, for instance. Also a bit of updating was done as I bump the timeframe forward into the modern day, both in terms of fashion and accessories. Nothing earth-shattering, but it does ripple forward through the other chapters. We will obviously see some very real ripples in the story going forward between real world events and the integration of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, such as when all hell breaks loose in England three days from now…
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Howard, Jade, Alexander, Tibor, Alonsis2, Daniel, Clark, Adrien, erlking, ridillin, Haematite, Charles, Jacky, Edward, Andrew, Roofcrawler, Wil, PbookR, Samuel, Mikey, Beverly, Daniel, Charles, Crygon20, Subtle, Christopher, Stephen, Fablesrogue, Morgan, Joseph, Jason, RileyWestfall, bloodylord, Marc, Ziryo, Chris, George, Koby, William, Devin, JJbelle, David, Gavin, TheTenthAncestor, Lookshy, Mauday, John, Roman, Warren, and Jess for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.
November 1, 2013
Paseo Nuevo Shops & Restaurants - Main Level Concourse
Sunnydale, California
"So, explain to me again how I ended up getting roped into this? Because last time I checked, I didn't like Xander at all and… well, Xander liked staring at me but that doesn't exactly a friendship make. And with how things have gone so far - what with the blatant objectifying me and the innuendos and weird questions - I'm not sure I'm going to like 'Michelle Flaherty' any more than I liked Xander."
Rolling his eyes at Cordelia's repetition of the same question for the sixth time since they'd arrived at the mall, Xander decided to fall back on the same answers he'd thrown her way the last five times she'd asked. "You got 'roped into this' because you jumped out of your seat, volunteered, and then dragged me out of the library when I mentioned that I needed to buy Michelle some clothes of her own because Willow wouldn't let me keep stealing from her. Probably because your choices were sitting there researching a cure for our weirdnesses with Giles and Willow or coming to the mall with me." Cordelia let out a noncommittal hum at that and Xander decided to feed her ego a bit. "Besides, who should I have brought with me? Willow's all for me buying my own clothes and is even willing to pay for it using her parents' credit cards because she's in one of her 'if they didn't want me doing whatever I wanted, they'd be here to stop me', as close to rebellion as Willow can get moods. But, as you love to point out, she isn't exactly fashionable." Or at least she wasn't fashionable in public. The outfit that she'd worn for Halloween, and some of the things that Xander had spotted in her room this morning? Yowzers. To say nothing of what he'd found in her underwear drawer…
A little snort of laughter escaped Cordelia at that. "Willow isn't exactly fashionable? That's like saying Charlie Sheen isn't exactly sane. Bit of an understatement."
"...cute. Speaking of which, do you know how much cocaine Charlie Sheen did?"
"...how much?"
"Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."
"Heard it. Still funny, though."
"I know, right?. Moving on… Buffy? Giles needs to know my secret so that he can research a cure. Willow walked in on me in her body. And then obviously you walked in on me blue. I can't put the genie back into the bottle for either you or Willow. But that doesn't mean I want Buffy - or anyone else - knowing about my little problem unless they absolutely have to. That's why I lied and told her I was Willow's cousin. Which should actually help keep her at arm's length until we can fix this, since she'll think she needs to hide her Slayer-ness from 'Michelle'. So that means Buffy's out, Willow's out, and that leaves… who other than you exactly? Kat doesn't know yet and I don't know when or if I'll decide to tell her, even if she is our friend. Harmony, Gwen, or one of the other Cordettes that I don't really know and therefore would have no excuse for cornering and dragging on a shopping expedition. Or, you know, you. You, who already knows my deep dark secret and won't blink if I say something boy-ish. Who has forgotten more about fashion than most girls twice our age have learned in their lives. Who knows a thing or three about racking up hefty credit card bills, which Willow wants me to do for some reason." Reaching out, Xander batted at Cordelia's long green hair, making the taller girl scowl and lean away. "And who probably needs to pick up a thing or two to go with her new look. So here we are."
Cordelia paused for a moment to roll his words around in her head before nodding in agreement. "Ah. Well when you put it like that, it makes a lot more sense." Resuming her determined forward march, she shot a curious look back over her shoulder at Xander. "So anyway, I've got a basic idea for what I want to do with you for a makeover but I figure I might as well ask… anything to contribute?"
"What, you mean like where we should shop or something? Don't know what you were expecting, considering how much you pick on what I usually wear." Xander looked to his left, then his right, and then shot a glance backward over each shoulder as well as they continued down the concourse. While they obviously had different outfits on display, the overall style that the different stores were selling all seemed to be pretty much the same to him. "The mannequins in the windows look the same to me, Cordy. I'm pretty open to ideas, as long as it's not Jekyll & Hide. Still not into the idea of wearing excessive amounts of dead cow, kay thanks."
"So your requirements are 'not leather'. Well, that ever so helpfully narrows things down to 'only' twenty stores for me to pick from. Nineteen if we don't count Victoria's Secret due to the whole lack of real outerwear thing, although we're totally visiting there before we leave. I'm probably encouraging something I shouldn't be by saying this, but every girl should look sexy in her underwear even if she's the only one who gets to see it." Coming to a stop once more in the middle of the concourse, Cordelia looked back and forth several times with a thoughtful look on her face. "Since I'm planning to press gang Michelle into the Cordettes, I feel like we should at least get you some vital parts of the white girl uniform while we're here… but from where?"
Xander found himself raising an eyebrow at the last bit; hadn't Cordy been decidedly against that after his awkward flirtation in the library? It was something they could discuss at some point over the weekend, though, when they weren't racing the clock to get things done before the mall closed. And so instead he found himself glancing back and forth between Abercrombie & Fitch and American Eagle. "I don't know, are we a few inches closer to one store or the other? Eeny, meeny, miny, moe? I'll represent one, you'll be the other, and we can do rock-paper-scissors?" Actually, he was kinda favoring American Eagle on account of the 'no murals full of half-naked guys' thing, but-
Letting out a groan, Cordelia grabbed Xander by the wrist and tugged him toward American Eagle. "Fine. We'll go here. I'm more of an Abercrombie & Fitch girl when I slum it and shop at stores that you and Willow might actually be able to afford, and tolerate Harmony buying most of her clothes there to try and imitate me. So if we get most of your clothes here at American Eagle, it means there's less of a chance of you showing up for school in the same outfit as one of us by accident." Stopping in the entrance, she looked around the store to orient herself before guiding Xander over toward a section with brightly colored tops. "Well, I'm assuming that you're going to be coming back to school as Michelle. Which is also why we're going to pick up more than just two or three outfits for you, by the by."
Xander blinked a few times at that. "Wait, what? Why-"
"Think about this for a second, Xander. I'm not human like Giles or Willow or… well, let's assume Harmony is actually human under all that braindead bimbo. I'm not even the same as Buffy. I'm a mutant. Homo sapiens superior. If you've been turned into one too, the way I think you have? If you've had your DNA and your genes and your cells and everything that makes you who you are changed by this, and turned into a younger version of someone I know who is also a mutant? Do you honestly, seriously think that the school librarian is going to be able to fix you? Just whip up some magic spell and poof, everything's all better and you go on with your life?" For once, Cordelia actually looked serious - quite possibly for the first time in the years that he'd known her - and Xander soon found himself looking away from her bright green eyes. "For once in my life, I'm actually not trying to crush your soul or anything. I hope he can fix you. Fuck, fix us. Because I'm doing a damn good job of faking it, but I'm not exactly comfortable in my own skin right now. Not just for obvious reasons, either; even when I look in a compact and can ignore everything going on below the neck? Green eyes, green hair. It is literally impossible for me to ignore that my body has been violated and reshaped without my consent. And so I'd love to have my own body back, or at least something closer to it. That doesn't mean it's gonna happen, though." They stood in silence for a moment, and then Cordelia let out a soft hum. "Speaking of closer to normal, I've been meaning to ask ever since the library but didn't want to reveal that I was an explanation or two behind everyone else. What's up with your whole 'dude looks like a lady' vibe?"
Even as his mind reeled at her words, Xander let out a soft gig… snicker at her final comment. Not a giggle. Even if he was a girl on the outside, he wasn't on the inside and he most certainly did not giggle. "Aerosmith? Never saw you as the classic rock type, Cordy. More Billboard Hot 100, flavor of the week and all."
"Shut up, dork. You said it yourself, Aerosmith is classic. Everyone knows Aerosmith." Reaching over, Cordelia jabbed Xander in the ribs with one well-manicured finger. "And avoidance much? Answer the question."
Rolling his eyes again, Xander pulled away so he could examine the rack of t-shirts in front of him. The fabric was a bit lighter than what he was used to and Xander knew from past viewing of girls around school that white t-shirts came with their own issues, but the bright floral patterns were kinda cool. Like a girly version of the Hawaiian shirts he loved to blind people with. Was Cordelia actually being an enabler for one of his favorite fashion faux pas? Awesome. "Nope. And I didn't exactly need your pep-talk-that-wasn't, FYI. Willow's done more papers about your… our kind than I care to count. I know exactly how fucked my body is. It's one thing to wake up with green hair, to use you as an example. To wake up growing natural green hair? Something else entirely. And you're right: if Giles could wave his hand and change that kind of thing, he'd either be living large or have been dragged off by the military to do something sketchy. Besides, you know how Willow is about skipping school. By the time we left, she was already most of the way through figuring out how to reenroll 'Michelle' at Sunnydale High. Hopefully she'll run with the story I gave Buffy earlier to explain why I'm showing up all of a sudden. Would be a little awkward if she didn't, but I could probably make it work…"
Cordelia let out a little snicker at that. "Still can't believe how easily she fell for that. And she's supposed to be the one standing between us and the end of the world? We're so screwed." Pulling the shirt Xander was examining from his grasp, she batted at his hand when he let out a grumble and reached for it. "I hate to break it to you, but plunging v-necks are for girls with cleavage. Willow - and therefore Michelle - does not fall into that category."
"You do realize I can fix that, right? Shapeshifter and all?" Cordelia arched a brow and Xander looked both ways before concentrating and doing his best to 'misremember', as he'd called it earlier. With one of Willow's fluffy sweaters on, going small time and adding a cup size or so would be visible but not especially dramatic and so Xander decided to go overboard like he had in his library demonstration, melding his favorite feature of Cordelia's onto Willow's body. "Tada. Look familiar? Or have you already forgotten the good old days when you could still see your feet?" And ow. Crap. He really needed to stop doing that while wearing one of Willow's bras.
The green-haired girl stared at Xander's chest in disbelief as he went from having molehills to mountains before looking up to meet his amused gaze. "I have never hated you more than I do right now. Do you know how much it's going to cost me to get these things shrunk back to normal? And you can do that kind of thing just by thinking about it." Then Cordelia went from a pout to a scowl and smacked him on the shoulder. "And shut up. I can too see my feet." Xander shot her a disbelieving look at that. "What? I can? My breasts aren't that… okay, fine, I can only see my toes." He raised an eyebrow. "My big toe." The other rose. "Okay, fine, the tip of my shoe and only when it's something nice and pointy. Happy now?"
Now that his ability to properly wear whatever he damn well pleased had been established, Xander returned his chest to normal and then reclaimed the floral shirt from Cordelia. "Well, you have neat powers too, Cordy. I'm sure that when I need to get metal things down off shelves over my head, I'll be very jealous of you. Besides, who says you need to have surgery? I think you look perfect just the way you are." Cordelia reached out to smack him again and Xander dodged away, looking around more. Rifling through the racks of shirts, Xander found another blue and white shirt like the first, then one in shades of red, and then a blue and purple one. That was about as girly as he was willing to go, though, passing up on the pink shirt, as well as the yellow. He moved on to another display of similar t-shirts, these in solid colors with logos printed on them, but Cordelia pushed him past them and onward to some regular tees. "What?"
Cordelia pulled a black t-shirt with the store's name across the chest in beadwork off a shelf, holding it up to Xander's chest before tossing it onto the pile that was growing in his arms. "We're going into rainy season. And it does get a little chilly at night during the winter. You'll probably want stuff a bit more covering for either of those times. Not to mention that you can pass it on to Willow if the impossible happens and you do get fixed. Girl could use some cute new clothes in her wardrobe." Good points all around. "Seriously, though, answer the question. Or… or I'll start giving you bad fashion advice." Xander snorted at that and she quickly relented. "Okay, maybe not bad, but you'll be barely passable. C'mon. I'm curious. This is kinda fun because it's probably the closest I'll ever come to turning Willow into a real girl, but why am I even getting this opportunity? Why 'Michelle'? Why not 'Bob' or 'Joe' or 'Mike'? Why are you a girl?"
Sighing, Xander continued on and selected a few more t-shirts and even a tank top that matched the floral ones he'd picked out earlier, before turning and heading for the large selection of jeans on the far wall. He was tempted to ignore her, but since she'd probably just keep nagging him… "Well, I don't know about your Mystique, but my powers seem to work off of how familiar I am with someone. I can't turn back into myself for some reason. Maybe because I don't spend as much time staring in the mirror as you? Dunno. I can't do it; does it matter why? As for other guys, I don't really pay much attention to them and so I do even worse as other guys than I do at turning into me. I guess I could change that, but… I'd feel kinda gay."
"And running around in drag isn't gay?"
"Does this count as drag? Since I'm a girl wearing these girls clothes and all?"
"Then wouldn't you staring at guys be straight now? Since you're a girl?"
The pair paused to ponder the unusual situation that Xander had found himself in for a few seconds before shrugging almost in unison and resuming their journey. "Putting questions of how my gender identity will affect my sexual orientation aside for now… if you think about it, I'm kinda living the dream right now. I can get to second base all by myself. Guys would kill to be me." Cordelia let out a groan of disgust, flicking her hand and slamming the arm of a nearby rack of long-sleeved shirts against Xander's shoulder. "Ouch! Anyway, I couldn't be me, couldn't turn myself into another guy. That left me with three choices: girls, girls, and additional girls. Willow made the most sense at the time since I needed someone I could picture well and I had easy access to her house to get clothes from. Now, we have a backstory and so I'm just, you know, going with it. I think I'm going to make a few changes, though. After all, we're cousins not identical twins."
Cordelia smirked, looking over at Xander before letting her eyes drift down a bit. "Changes like your chest."
"Like my chest. So shoot me, I'm male." Xander looked down at himself, chuckling as he realized the irony of that statement. "Well, sorta. On the inside. But I'm not that juvenile; there will be other changes too. My eye color. Adding some freckles. I want to change up my hair a bit but I don't know how yet. I'll probably hop on Willow's computer later and go looking for ideas." Coming to a halt in front of the rather intimidating wall of denim, Xander frowned before looking over at his green-haired fashion consultant. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to check my tag and then go find some jeans in the same size? Because… are those jeans actually different from each other? I mean, I see four or five shades of blue, but if there's something else going on there, I'm missing it."
Blinking, Cordelia stared at Xander in disbelief for a moment before pointing toward the far wall. "Just go, before I start ranting and attract attention. Go on. Shoo. And just for that, we're buying you a skirt. A miniskirt."
"But…"
"Two miniskirts. Emphasis on mini."
Xander decided to cut his losses and run, giving Cordelia a moment to check the tag on the jeans he was wearing before heading to the back of the store, just to be contrary. As he got closer, though, he started to wonder if tempting fate with Cordelia in the jeans section might be safer. Because while 'Aerie' hadn't really told him anything, he couldn't possibly mistake where he'd been banished to. He was in the underwear section.
Eep.
Steeling himself, Xander took a deep breath and entered No Man's Land. He helped Buffy save the world from vampires and demons on a regular basis, and had survived encounters with a praying mantis woman and an Incan mummy girl. Not to mention that hyena spirit incident.
Not.
Mentioning.
It.
If he could survive those things, Xander told himself, he could survive this. Reaching one of the displays, he sighed in relief. All right, this wouldn't be so bad. Safer than going through Willow's underwear, at least. Especially when he stuck to the 'five for twenty-five' section, there were lots of options that didn't completely offend his sensibilities: dozens of colors and patterns each in briefs, boy shorts, and something called 'tangas'. A moment's examination of the 'cheekys' was enough to convince him that they were not his sort of thing, though; all-lace backsides that left his butt exposed were a definite no. Not quite as bad as the bikini and thong styles, but still a great big no.
"Michelle!" It took Xander a moment to remember that was him, and then he looked back over his shoulder to find Cordelia scowling and pointing at the destination she'd originally selected for him. "Don't waste your time over there. We're going to Victoria's Secret today, remember?"
Ah. Right. That promised to be… terrifying. Lacking a better option - he evidently didn't need to buy underwear here, and he certainly wasn't going to subject himself to jean insanity voluntarily - Xander obediently made his way over to where he was supposed to be: Dress Country. He wasn't sure if it was because they were going into winter or if the girls at school were actually being unfashionably skanky these days, but most of the dresses that he found were actually… not that bad. One dress in particular caught his eye and before he knew it, Xander had threaded his way through the labyrinthine racks to stand in front of its display.
It was a… 'cable turtleneck dress', according to the sign. He wasn't sure what the 'cable' part meant, but it was a dress that had a turtleneck so… seemed legit. Reaching out to run his hand over the one on the mannequin, his eyes widened. It was soft. The fabric was stretchy. It felt like it would keep him warm, but not oppressively so. And best of all, it came in pure white. Why that was important to him, Xander wasn't quite sure, but he felt that it was. On the downside, the hemline fell closer to the mannequin's crotch than her knees, which he found a bit discomforting. The mannequin was wearing tights; he would definitely need to pick some up because he had absolutely no intention of pulling a Basic Instinct in the middle of class.
Why did he like this dress so much? Particularly the white ones? Fuck it, he was getting the dress. Maybe two. Wait. What size dress was he? They seemed to come in the standard small-medium-large options. Should he go by the same size as the shirts that they'd picked out? A dress was basically a long shirt, wasn't it? Ugh. Where was Cordelia? Wait! A salesgirl! Xander grinned triumphantly. He could handle this. Maybe shopping wasn't as difficult as Cordelia made it out to be…
November 1, 2013
Paseo Nuevo Shops & Restaurants - Aldo Shoes
Sunnydale, California
"What do you think?"
"It's… an experience?" Xander's first few steps down the aisle were definitely hesitant, although he found himself growing increasingly confident the more he walked, and his return to where Cordelia was waiting for him was far smoother. The heels represented yet another change in his center of gravity, key words being 'yet another'. A few minutes into her time in the dressing room at American Eagle, Cordelia had realized that he was serious about modifying the body he'd inherited from Willow… at which time she'd pointed out the incredibly obvious: if Xander was going to reshape 'Michelle', he needed to do so before they bought her clothes, not after. So he'd said goodbye to Willow's painfully average hips, goodbye to her practically non-existent butt, a final goodbye to her 32Bs, and hello the orangish freckles that he'd been pondering.
Then he'd taken a step forward and promptly said goodbye to what little dignity he'd retained, faceplanting on the cold tile floor as his new body proved to be as big a change from Willow's form as his blue girl form had been from his original Xander shape. After fumbling his way into the loose green dress that Cordelia tossed over the top of the door, he'd spent a few minutes awkwardly pacing up and down the length of the hall, eventually figuring out how to make his body obey his wishes once again. He'd made a few more small changes, repeated the process, Cordelia had replaced all of their combined selections with new sizes, and things had gone more smoothly from there.
Now he was working on running up the Rosenbergs' credit card bill with shoes, and high heels were turning out to be less terrible than he'd expected them to be. "Can we take a minute to appreciate that I'm walking better in them than I was in sneakers a little while ago? And in all seriousness, I'm pretty sure you're gonna call me gay again or something but… I kinda like these. I'm taller, but without having to mess with my body and throw everything out of whack. Or worry that I'm not proportional anymore. Which reminds me, thanks for warning me about my arms being a bit wonky earlier."
"Yes, because it wasn't enlightened self-interest at all. I totally wanted to be seen walking around the mall with a ginger gorilla."
"Whatever. Seriously, though, why don't girls live in these things? I'm taller. I feel more confident, probably because I'm taller. I can look guys in the eye now; they don't have the power position of looming over me anymore. I'm standing up straighter, which makes me look even taller than the heels themselves would and is good for my posture. And I'm pretty sure they're making my butt look even more amazing than I already made it. This is great. All of my shoes should be heels. Can we do that?" Slipping off the pair that he was wearing, Xander dropped them back into the box that Cordelia held out before padding off in the direction of the sneakers. "Do they make sneakers with heels? I'll wear those for gym."
Xander abruptly discovered exactly why Cordelia had been so in favor of buying chunky, metal-heavy belts at several of the stores they'd visited that day. Lifted off the ground in a manner that left him feeling like a scruffed kitten, he found himself reeled back in toward where Cordelia was standing and then turned to face the exasperated cheerleader. "First of all, do you know how ridiculous you'd look trying to run laps in those things? Emphasis on 'trying', because you'd probably end up tripping over your own feet and breaking your neck? So while yes they do exist, no you can't buy any. And secondly, don't you think we should get you some not-heel shoes for when… why are you suddenly acting like a girly-girl? It's weird. You're weirding me out."
Scowling, Xander thrust his arm out and drove his palm into Cordelia's chest, breaking her concentration and forcing her to drop him as she stumbled back a step. "Why are you complaining? You're the one who picked out the miniskirts for me. And wants to take me into Victoria's Secret instead of letting me get boring, simple underwear. Shouldn't you be excited that I'm all 'yay girlhood' too?"
"No. It's weird. You're a boy."
"Listen, you're the one who gave me the 'yer a mutant, Harry' speech. You know what I'm facing. Which is a lot. I'm a new gender all of a sudden. I'm a new species, and it means I have weird new powers. I'm getting a new name, and a new life, and I'm going to have to create and memorize a giant new backstory. One thing I'm not, though? In the mood to be a loser again." Xander looked both ways and then leaned in as he lowered his voice. "You think I don't know what I was, Cordelia? You think I needed you to tell me, over and over again? This is a blessing. This is a miracle for me. Would I rather be a guy? Yes. A hundred million times yes. But one way or another, I'm getting the kind of fresh start that nobody else ever gets. I can reinvent myself and become someone completely new, be whoever I want to be. And I am going to take that fresh start and run with it. So yes, I'm a girl. And I'm going to be the best fucking girl I can be. A pretty girl. Maybe if I'm lucky, even a halfway popular girl."
Cordelia stared into his eyes for almost a minute, completely silent as she processed his mini-rant. Then she let out a soft sigh and shook her head before reaching up to cup his face with both of her hands. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but… you do realize that you can be an awesome pretty popular girl while wearing pants and flats, right? Yes, I had fun picking out some cute stuff for you, but you don't need to be hyperfeminine."
Wanting to nudge the conversation back into slightly lighter territory, Xander gave a faint shrug and grinned. "Yeah, but have you seen the legs I inherited from Willow? Jesus. Sheila should be charged with some sort of crime for buying Willow so many pairs of pants."
Sadly, Cordelia didn't seem inclined to let things go quite that easily. "I don't like this. You're trying to do way too much, way too fast. Whatever high you're riding, it can't last. You're going to have a breakdown. And you'd better do it in private, because I don't need you making me look bad by having your freakout in my presence. For that matter, I'd prefer it be a private that I'm not in, because I'm terrible at empathy and taking care of people."
"And for a moment there, I actually forgot who I was talking to and thought you were a human being, Cordy."
"Pfft. As if. I'm a mutant and proud, girlfriend."
"Not what I meant and you know it."
"Oh, I know. Don't care."
