"There might be information on here that could put him away for good and save lives. I have to send this email before I go. I'm almost done." Her words made his stomach churn, and his rapid breathing no longer had anything to do with the fact that he had just run out of a building at breakneck speed. He was suddenly on the verge of having a meltdown, and he could feel the Force surging within him.
"No!" He managed to keep his voice firm, but even he could detect the shakiness in it. He glanced at the clock on the detonator, hoping that it would freeze, but it kept counting down. Obi-Wan was now trying frantically to open it up to see if they could somehow stop the countdown, but Anakin had already inspected it. They couldn't deactivate it from the detonator. He would have had to find the bombs and do it from there, and there just wasn't any time for that. He closed his eyes, willing for this to all be some horrible nightmare. "You have to get out of there, Padme! Ahsoka, drag her out!" Even he could tell that behind the firmness in his voice, there was fear.
He had just gotten her back, and even so, she wasn't technically his any longer since their breakup. She didn't want anything to do with him. Not romantically, anyway. Still, to once again live in a world without her at least alive and breathing…. His heart ripped to shreds just thinking about it.
"I have to do this, Anakin," Padme said, and he could hear the clicking of a keyboard. She was moving too slowly, and with each passing second, he realized that she wasn't going to make it out. Tears began to well up in his eyes, and they spilled over onto his cheeks. He was going to lose her...again. "You have to let me do this, Anakin. You need to trust me." She paused. "Anakin…you have to let me go."
Anakin closed his eyes, and more tears slid down his cheeks. "But…" his voice choked, and he put his free hand to his mouth. Everything in him screamed at him to drop the phone and go find her, but he knew they would both die if he did that. For a second, he thought that it would be better that way, but he knew that wouldn't accomplish anything good. Padme wouldn't want him to do that either. He opened his eyes, looking at the detonator. One minute.
Obi-Wan stood, leaving the detonator on the ground. He had apparently given up on trying to stop it. "I'll go," He whispered, "I'll try to get her out, Anakin, I…." He turned to do so.
In times past, Anakin would have let him. In fact, he would have gone with Obi-Wan. He would have refused to let her go, but…being unable to let her go was what had (ultimately) gotten them all into this situation to begin with. Being unable to let go had lost him Obi-Wan as a friend. It had lost him his friends in the Jedi Order. It had lost him his children.
It had lost him his beloved Padme.
He had to choose. Would he keep holding on to her? Would he put his love for her aside to make the right choice? He had always said that he couldn't let her go, and even in her death, that had remained true. But, this was his second chance, his chance to finally do things right, and like Obi-Wan and Yoda had said on many an occasion, if he wanted to achieve his true potential, he had to learn to let go. But, letting go was so much harder than he ever could have dreamed it to be.
Be the person you want to be, he thought. What would that person do?
That person would let go.
So, taking a deep breath, Anakin did just that.
He let go.
He reached out a hand and grabbed Obi-Wan's shoulder firmly, shaking his head no. Obi-Wan looked at him in surprise, but whatever he saw on Anakin's face made that surprise turn to a grim understanding, and he stopped. Taking a few deep breaths, Anakin attempted to speak. The first time, the words got stuck in his throat and out came a strangled noise. Then, he said the hardest word he had ever spoken in his entire life. "Okay."
There was silence. "What?!" Padme breathed, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. He didn't blame her. He couldn't believe what he was saying either.
"Okay. I trust you." He said the words, knowing that it was too late, that he would lose her, and that half of him would go with her.
There was a shocked silence on the other end of the line. He glanced at the timer. Twenty seconds. Twenty seconds to inadequately express to his wife how he felt about her. "I love you, Padme. Always, my Angel." He didn't care if she still hated him for what he had said, or the lies he had told, or the things he had done. Nothing she could ever do would change the way he felt about her.
"I know." She said quietly as he watched the timer hit zero. He watched with an obliterated heart as the lower levels of the building exploded, sending fire, chunks of sheetrock, and shards of glass flying outward. At first, the building swayed, and a very small part of him hoped that it would manage to stay upright. He heard Ahsoka scream something, and then the line went dead.
"Ahsoka?!" He yelled, "Padme?!" There was no answer. Moments later, the building began to collapse, the upper levels pancaking downward.
In reality, the collapse happened quickly. To Anakin, however, it moved in slow motion. He felt like he was literally watching his whole life crumble to the ground, for Padme had been his whole life. It collapsed with a groan and a roar amidst glass shattering and debris flying. At first, he just numbly stood there watching, but at some point, he felt Obi-Wan grab him and throw him to the ground, and then he felt Obi-Wan's Force shield being thrown up to protect them both as his friend leaned over him.
Anakin didn't know how long it took for the building to stop falling. He stared dully up into the sky that was now beginning to darken, until finally Obi-Wan dropped the shield and slowly stood. "Anakin?" He could hear his friend say.
He opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. He felt lost. He felt empty. He felt…
No anger. No hate. There was deep sorrow, but there was also the strange feeling that for once in his life, he'd done the right thing, he'd…
And, that's when he felt it. The Force. He had always been able to feel it, deep down, even as he had been unable to access most of it. But now, he felt it explode within him, urging him to get up and move, to start looking and take charge. There was so much of it flowing through him, that he bolted to his feet, feeling as if his entire body were about to shatter.
He had never, ever felt this powerful before! Not even Vader could imagine the power that Anakin felt surging through him in that very moment.
Obi-Wan stumbled back in shock, his hair a mess, a smudge of dirt on his cheek. He blinked at Anakin in surprise. "Anakin, what the…?!"
Anakin looked down at his hands. They were shaking. Force, how could he even control this much power? Darth Vader would have been loving it, reveling in it, but at that moment, all Anakin wanted was for it to stop. "I…I don't…." He took several deep breaths, and he looked toward the wrecked building. Again, the Force urged him to move, to look. Now. "I have…I have to go look for them."
Obi-Wan frowned, but as Anakin began stumbling like a toddler towards the wreckage, Obi-Wan followed. "Anakin, wait...You might not like what you find…."
"No, you don't understand," Anakin rasped—it was getting hard to talk. He worried that if he even spoke, everything would go wildly out of control. He wondered if by looking in this state, would he even be helping? Or, would he make things worse? "I have to look! It's not just because I love Padme and care for Ahsoka. I don't…I don't understand what's happening, but…."
"Anakin...Your Force signature," Obi-Wan interrupted, "It's like it's an inferno. I've never seen anything like it." He could hear the awe and concern in Obi-Wan's voice. "Maybe I should search and you should rest…"
The Force within him immediately rejected that idea. "No," He said, "It has to be me."
He reached the wreckage. Giant blocks of stone from the exterior of the building piled on top of the debris that used to be the building's interior. He began to climb over it, and as he did, he felt the Force stretch out, searching, directing him on where to go…
There. He felt it. A faint Force signature underneath the rubble at the far end of the wreckage pile. He began to hastily clamber towards it, tripping over chunks of rubble, cutting his hands on broken pipes—at one point, he fell, and he heard something he was wearing tear. He didn't bother to look, just as he didn't bother to listen as Obi-Wan, who he could hear hastily trying to follow, calling for him to slow down before he hurt himself. He continued to push himself until he finally reached the spot where he felt the Force signature.
"Obi-Wan, quick! Under here!" he called as he began to observe the debris. There was a massive slab of stone, but it looked like it was being supported by some of the rubble underneath. A small flare of hope warmed his chest. "Obi-Wan, I need you to help me with this."
Obi-Wan reached him, breathing hard, but he didn't stop to rest. "What do you need?"
Anakin observed the area with a critical eye. The Force tugged, and in that moment he could clearly see what needed to be done. "I'm going to lift the slab of stone," He began, but Obi-Wan cut him off.
"Wait. Are you sure you can do that by yourself?" He asked, and Anakin heard the unspoken message—not even fifteen minutes ago, Anakin couldn't even lift a desk. He hadn't exactly been fantastic at levitation as a Jedi, however, Darth Vader had been quite excellent at it. But, what Anakin was feeling in that moment wasn't the Dark Side. He felt Light, more light than he had ever felt before surging through him.
"I can do this," He said confidently, "And, I need you to make sure nothing falls in to take its place when I move it."
"Okay." Obi-Wan responded, and he lifted his hands, getting ready. "Go for it."
Anakin stretched out his hands, beginning to concentrate on lifting the heavy material. He didn't need much. Immediately, the Force rushed through him, and he watched as the giant stone lifted effortlessly, as if Anakin was lifting nothing more than a spoon. Dust fell, and as the weight moved, other rubble began to shift downward to take its place. True to his word, Obi-Wan caught it before it could fall, and Anakin tossed the rock aside like it was a piece of paper. It landed to the side with a thud, sending a plume of dirt into the evening air, and Anakin moved forward to peer down into the hole it had left behind, squinting at the darkened space below.
There, at the bottom, knelt Ahsoka. She kneeled over another huddled figure, and she had her hands up, still holding a very weak Force shield. Anakin could see deep cuts in her skin, and her shirt had ripped, the material stained red. She was breathing hard, but after a second, she realized she was no longer trapped. She looked up, blinking in the dim light of dusk. "Anakin?" she croaked with relief, "Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan was the first to jump down. Anakin tried to move, but now that he stood there, he was suddenly terrified to know. Had Padme died? Ahsoka had attempted to protect her, but Padme had already been injured. What if Ahsoka wasn't enough to save her?
Go, the Force seemed to urge him, before it's too late.
Gulping down his fear, Anakin leapt into the hole as Obi-Wan picked Ahsoka up. There, slumped on the ground, was an unconscious Padme.
Anakin's throat tightened. He couldn't see the extent of her injuries, at least not yet, but it didn't look good. He was almost afraid to touch her. What if he made her injuries worse? That was, if she was still alive.
Establish that first, he told himself, and he knelt down beside her, holding his breath as he put his fingers to the side of her neck.
A pulse, but barely. Carefully, he picked her up, pulling her into his arms. He immediately noticed the broken arm, and the blood on her beautiful face, and he was sure that there were injuries he couldn't see, but he still held her as close as he dared. He tenderly brushed a wisp of a kiss across her cheek before he picked her up, cradling her against his chest.
With one Force-enhanced leap, he jumped out of the hole, carrying her limp body towards where Obi-Wan had had already taken Ahsoka and was currently assessing her. Anakin stopped a little ways away, sinking to his knees, shifting Padme so that he cradled her in one arm while his other hand reached up to push her hair gently away from her face. Again, he checked for a pulse.
It was weaker.
"Why?" He growled, but it wasn't long before he realized why—she wasn't breathing.
Tears began to fall again. "I don't want you to go," he pleaded, and he rested his forehead against hers. "Please...please don't leave me, Angel," his voice was hoarse, and his body began to shake as sobs ripped out of his chest. "I love you. So very much. Come back to me. PLEASE."
There wasn't a response.
He shook his head, holding her closer to his chest, tears sliding down his cheeks, as he looked up into the evening sky. "Why?!" he demanded with a shout. He didn't care that Obi-Wan wasn't that far off with Ahsoka. "I already lost her once! I've done what you've asked me to do! I'm not Darth Vader anymore, and I never want to go back! Don't take her away from me again! Please!"
At first, there wasn't a response. Praying wasn't something the Jedi technically did, but in that moment, Anakin sincerely prayed. He didn't know what else to do. It was clear that the Force had controlled this whole thing. It would always guide his life, and the lives of every living thing in the universe. If he had fulfilled the Second Chance he had been given, why would the Force allow Padme, his beloved wife, the most beautiful, pure soul he knew to exist, to die again?
After a few moments of silence, however, Padme suddenly began to sputter and cough. Anakin looked down at her, afraid to hope, but sure enough, once she was through coughing, she took deep, shaky breaths. "Padme?" He asked, still afraid to hope.
Her eyelids fluttered open, barely, just enough so that Anakin could see her beautiful brown eyes. A weak smile spread on her lips. "Anakin," She whispered.
"Oh, Padme," He sighed in relief, "You're safe. I'm going to get you help. Don't give up on me, Angel, okay?" More tears fell, and she frowned up at him. Slowly, she reached up with her good hand and gently wiped away a tear from his cheek with her thumb.
"Don't cry, Anakin." Anakin leaned into her touch, rubbing his cheek against her hand. "I'm not going anywhere."
Logically, he knew that with her wounds, she may not have had a say in that, but somehow, Anakin believed her. He let out a shaky sigh, and smiled for her. "Okay."
She smiled softly, then opened her mouth like she was about to say something else, but she didn't. Instead, her eyes slid closed and she slipped into unconsciousness again. To be safe, Anakin checked her pulse again, but found that it was much stronger.
Thank you, he mentally whispered to the Force, and he could feel it warm his chest as he gently picked Padme up in his arms and headed to Sola's SUV, using the Force to open the rear passenger door.
The drive to the hospital passed in a blur of motion. Anakin drove like a madman through the city streets while Obi-Wan sat in the back of the SUV keeping both girls steady. It took all of Anakin's restraint to keep from driving the car through the glass doors of the ER when he arrived, but he did throw it into park, jumped out and ran inside yelling at the poor nurses at the registration desk that he needed help right then.
The triage nurses rushed out with two gurneys, and they carefully maneuvered the girls out of the SUV and placed them on the gurneys and carted both Ahsoka and Padme away: Padme was still completely out while Ahsoka was on the edge of consciousness. Anakin began to follow, wanting to make sure that they would both be alright, but just as they got to the swinging doors at the end of the waiting room, another nurse stopped him. "You can't go in there, Sir," She said, moving between him and the doors. Heart sinking, Anakin watched as both women were rushed through the doors on stretchers, nurses and ER doctors running at their sides shouting orders.
"But, I have to," He said, his voice cracking, "I need to know that they'll be okay!"
"We will keep you updated, Sir, but you must sit down and wait! We cannot have you getting in the way and distracting the doctors and nurses while they work on them!" Anakin wanted to argue more. He wanted to Jedi-mind trick her into letting him through anyway just as he'd done before when Padme was in the ER after her date with Finn...but instead he took a few deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down, and he let it go.
"Fine." He said, crossing his arms. He gave her a stern look. "I want updates though."
The nurse looked somewhat put out, but she nodded nonetheless. "I'll see what I can do, Sir." With that, Anakin turned and headed back into the crowded waiting room, looking for Obi-Wan, skirting people who either were waiting for loved ones or were waiting to be seen themselves for minor injuries. He picked a hard blue plastic chair at the far end of the room, as far away from other people as he could get, and sat down, burying his face in his hands.
It wasn't long before Obi-Wan walked in and sat down next to him. "I moved Sola's SUV. It's in the ER parking lot. I've got the keys," Obi-Wan said to which Anakin just nodded his understanding. For a long time, neither man said anything, but finally Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "We're supposed to fill out these intake forms," He handed a clipboard to Anakin. "I figure you know more about Padme than I do. So, you do hers. I'll do Ashoka's."
Anakin took the clipboard, staring down at the neatly typed words. He didn't understand all of it, such as health insurance (what was that?), but most of it he could answer. With a sigh, he began to fill it out, trying to focus on the task at hand instead of what was going on behind the closed ER doors.
For a while, both men worked in silence. Anakin would have preferred it to stay that way, but Obi-Wan was never content to leave things unsettled. "I'm sure they're going to be fine, Anakin."
"I know they will be, but that doesn't make it any easier." Anakin replied without looking up. He had gotten to the medical history part of the form and he paused: he knew Padme's medical history back in his galaxy, but who was to say that things hadn't changed here? He began to fill it out as best he could, hoping that things were at least similar.
Sensing that Anakin didn't really want to talk about something that he had no control over in that moment, Obi-Wan changed subjects. "You fought well today."
"Thanks."
"No. Really, you did. Even with limited use of the Force, you were exceptional." He paused. "But I did want to ask…why did you decide to use Vaapad?"
Anakin paused, thinking back to the fight with Maul. For the majority of it, he had used the lightsaber form he had primarily used during the Clone Wars, but at the end, when he channeled his rage into his technique, it changed into the more aggressive Vaapad style. "Well, it wasn't something I necessarily chose to do," he admitted, "But when I saw him about to kill you, I almost lost control. In order to keep from doing that, I just…did it. I used the form occasionally while I was a Sith Lord, but not always. It felt…natural to use it this time though."
Obi-Wan considered his words for a while. "Master Windu used Vaapad. He said it was a state of mind, not just a lightsaber form." He finished filling out what he could on Ahsoka's paperwork. "Maybe that's what you need to help you control yourself."
Anakin could still feel the abnormal power of the Force flowing through him, and he wondered if perhaps Obi-Wan was right. "I guess we'll just have to see."
Obi-Wan nodded and waited for Anakin to finish Padme's paperwork. Once he had, Obi-Wan took both clipboards and stood. "We'll talk more about this later, but," He took a deep breath. "I just want you to know that I'm extremely proud of you. I've fought beside you for many years on many different occasions, but what you did today, before and especially after the battle…well, I'm very proud of you." He offered a small smile to his friend.
Anakin felt his chest warm at Obi-Wan's words. He knew Obi-Wan was largely referring to his letting Padme go, for that was something that Anakin had never been able to do before. "Thanks," he said, and he tried to smile, but he found he had a hard time doing so. Even though he felt…lighter now that he'd trusted Padme and "let" her go, he still hated that she was so severely injured.
Obi-Wan seemed to sense this, and put a comforting hand on Anakin's shoulder before he turned and walked back to the service desk. As soon as he was gone, Anakin again buried his face in his hands and waited.
And waited.
And waited some more.
Eventually, he couldn't take sitting still anymore. It had been a miracle that he'd waited as long as he had. He groaned in frustration and stood, beginning to pace back and forth. "Anakin, do sit down." Obi-Wan tried, but Anakin ignored him. Obi-Wan sighed, knowing that when Anakin was in a mood like this, there was no sitting him back down.
Anakin didn't know how long he paced. He could feel people's eyes on him, staring, but he didn't care. He was restless. Every time the ER doors swung open, he looked over expectantly, hoping that a nurse would come in to at least update him on Padme's status. But, eventually, a nurse did step through, and this time she made eye contact with Anakin. "Are you Ahsoka Tano's friend?"
Well. It wasn't Padme, but a part of him was also worried about his friend. "Yes." He could feel Obi-Wan get up too and come to stand by his side, waiting.
"I just wanted you to know that she's doing fine. She has some cracked ribs and a concussion, but she's doing well overall. We're going to keep her overnight for observation just to make sure that the concussion isn't too serious, but she should be able to go home in the morning. We've contacted her family already, and they should arrive soon."
Anakin let out a sigh of relief. Even though he was still desperately worried about Padme, at least Ahsoka was going to be okay. "And, Padme Amidala?" Obi-Wan asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
The nurse looked as if she had expected this very question. "She's in surgery still. Both of the bones in her forearm were broken. She has several broken ribs, a concussion, and multiple other injuries that the doctors are still assessing. Right now, things look like she'll pull out of it, but it's not going to be an easy recovery process, I'm afraid."
Anakin's heart sank, and he almost wished Obi-Wan hadn't asked. He had suspected that she would be seriously injured, but to actually hear it vocalized…it made him sick.
"Well," the nurse continued, "Ahsoka is awake and can receive one visitor." Anakin knew that as her former master, he should be the one to see her, especially since without her, Padme would have likely died. He owed it to her to personally check on her. In fact, he opened his mouth to volunteer, but just then a new voice interrupted before he could speak.
"Anakin!" He turned around to find Sola rushing in through the ER doors, her face flushed, hair falling out of her bun, and close behind her were Jobal and Ruwee. They all looked very confused, very worried, and very panicked.
"I'll go," Obi-Wan said softly, seeing this. "Anakin, you should stay here and talk to Padme's family. It would be better for them to hear what happened from you than from me." Anakin wasn't sure he agreed with that statement. He knew that if he got a call from the hospital saying that his daughter was severely injured and he arrived to find her boyfriend there, he probably would have jumped to conclusions and blamed everything on the boyfriend.
But, Ruwee wasn't as brash as Anakin sometimes was, and Obi-Wan had a point: Anakin needed to be a man and take responsibility. Perhaps it would even impress Ruwee somewhat.
So, Anakin nodded and Obi-Wan followed the nurse through the double doors while Anakin turned to face Padme's family.
Ruwee was the first to speak when Anakin approached. "I demand to know what's going on, young man!"
"Ruwee," Jobal chided, "Don't be so harsh on the boy. We don't even know the whole story yet."
Guilt flashed in Ruwee's eyes, and he seemed to calm some at his wife's words. "I'm sorry." He said, "It's just…difficult to get a call that your daughter is in the hospital. The nurse who called said there was a car accident. Is this true?"
Partially, Anakin thought—he hadn't felt like starting a whole investigation into the destroyed building. He was sure cops were now swarming the building, but then again, it hadn't been used in years. Maybe they weren't. But, Anakin wasn't keen on risking a massive investigation. Padme had already dealt with that within the past month. She didn't need another one. "Yes. Hit and run, I'm afraid. I brought her here." He hated lying. He didn't want to lie to his father-in-law, but how could he explain that a crazed Sith Lord had kidnapped his daughter? They wouldn't believe it.
"But, why did she leave the house?" Sola asked, concern flooding her brown eyes. Anakin couldn't help but notice how similar they were to Padme's, which made his heart clench.
Sola had a good question. Why did Padme leave her parent's home? Why had she called him just prior to getting kidnapped? Why would she abandon her family on a day that supposedly was a treasured family holiday and without any explanation? He didn't say any of that though. He made up yet another half-truth. "She found information that could explain some of the attacks she was involved in a month ago. She went to retrieve it. She said she emailed it to someone, but I'm not sure who." If he knew who, he could have been doing something with that information while he waited. He could have been doing something helpful instead of pacing the waiting room like a bumbling idiot.
"Did she say what sort of information?" Her father questioned, his eyebrows furrowing.
"She said that it might have had something to do with Senator Palpatine. I didn't see the information myself though." He sincerely hoped that it would be enough to expose Palpatine, whatever it was.
Her parents exchanged worried looks. "Keep this quiet until we know more," Jobal said slowly, "If this gets out and it turns out it has nothing to do with him, it will cost us more than the election." Jobal didn't seem surprised to hear that Palpatine was suspected of doing something underhanded and dirty. Anakin wondered just how much Padme's parents suspected.
"How is Padme now?" Sola demanded, tears in her eyes.
Anakin clenched his jaw, trying to force the words out of his mouth. It took a few tries, but he was finally able to tell them what the nurse had told him. By the end of it, all three of them looked just as sick as Anakin felt. "My poor baby," Jobal whispered, putting a hand to her mouth.
"And, what about Ahsoka?" Sola asked again. Now there were tears falling down her cheeks.
Oh, right. Ahsoka. How would he explain Ahsoka's injuries? He thought of an excuse as fast as he could. "She was also injured, but not as bad." Sola's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and she opened her mouth to ask how so, but Anakin continued on. "She tried to help Padme get the information, and while they were leaving, she slipped and fell down a flight of stairs." He tried to sound normal, but he saw the suspicious glint in Sola's eyes.
"That's terrible. Is she okay?" Jobal asked.
"She's fine. Ben is with her now." Anakin assured her.
"And, how are you doing, Son?" Ruwee asked suddenly, making Anakin pause.
How was he doing? Awful. He hated that he couldn't be by Padme's side while she was getting surgery. He hated that she was in pain, injured and he couldn't do anything to alleviate it. He had never been good at using the Force to heal, and he doubted even with this surge of power that he could, so he didn't bother considering it.
He must have had a pained look on his face, because Ruwee frowned and then his face softened into a weak smile. "You really love my daughter, don't you?"
Jobal gave her husband a sharp, warning look. "Ruwee," she hissed, "They…you know…. Aren't together anymore…."
Ruwee shrugged. "I don't know why, when it's clear the boy is obviously head over heels for her. I'm not blind."
The harmless bickering between his in-laws made Anakin smile a little—how he wished he could have that with Padme again someday. They had sometimes bickered like that before, but rarely. Usually, if they were bickering, it turned into an all-out fight. Anakin suddenly found he missed even their fights.
"Yes, sir," Anakin shoved his hands into his pockets and said with a small smile, "I love her very, very much...with every fiber of my being."
A huge smile spread across Sola's face at those words, and Anakin had a feeling that even if Padme never forgave him, she would know about this particular conversation. Ruwee nodded and clapped a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "If a good man like you loves my daughter that much, I highly doubt that whatever happened between you two will continue to be a problem."
"Ruwee," Jobal scolded, "You can't get involved with Padme's relationship like that!"
"What?" Ruwee shrugged again. "I'm only speaking the truth."
The two continued to bicker, and Sola turned to Anakin. "I'm sorry," she started to say, shaking her head in mild amusement, "My parents can be…"
But, Anakin burst out laughing, interrupting both Sola and Padme's parents. "I'm sorry," He said between chuckles, "I just…maybe I'm going crazy from being overly stressed but…" He managed to get control of himself as he turned his attention back to Ruwee. "Thank you, Sir. You really have no idea just how much that means to me." He had always wanted the approval of Padme's parents but had never been able to have it due to the nature of his and Padme's relationship. But now, even if Ruwee hadn't technically given him permission to marry Padme (and Anakin hadn't actually asked for it), it still felt…good. Really, really good. Truthfully, good didn't even adequately describe what he felt. He felt a tremendous surge of joy at Ruwee's praise.
Ruwee and Jobal seemed to relax some, and Jobal smiled at him. "Don't worry, Anakin. Padme is a fighter," She said, her voice soothing, "She'll pull through this. Just watch."
Anakin nodded. He could feel the pressure of unshed tears behind his eyes, and it was all he could do not to cry. Yes, she would pull through. He knew that. It didn't make it any easier at the moment, but Padme had always been a fighter. It was what had drawn him to her in the first place. Yeah, she would pull through.
All he had to do was wait.
And, waiting was the order of the day. It was another 2 hours before a woman with black hair and one blue highlighted streak stepped out of the swinging ER doors. "I'm looking for the family of Padme Amidala," she called out into the waiting room.
Anakin had again spent the whole time pacing, and Sola had tried multiple times to get him to sit down, but Anakin, being the stubborn man he was, refused. It must have driven Ruwee up a wall, because he had announced that he was going to go get coffee for all of them and had left only five minutes before.
Therefore, it was only Anakin, Jobal, and Sola who hurriedly swamped the poor woman. "How is she?" Sola demanded at once.
Looking closely at the woman, she didn't look to be a nurse. She looked like an actual doctor. Anakin tried to make out her name on her badge, but the shiny material reflected the glare of the fluorescent lights overhead, making it difficult to make out.
Giving up, he looked up at the woman…and found her to be frowning at him. "What?" He asked, somewhat defensively. He tried to think back to anything he could have done wrong, but he didn't think he had.
She just shook her head. "Nothing. I'm sorry, it's just that…" She took a deep breath, and suddenly she no longer seemed so curious about him as she turned to address all three of them. Her blue eyes became steely, and a strange calmness overtook her features. "I'm Dr. Che. I am the physician overseeing Ms. Amidala's case."
Dr. Che….why did that name ring a bell? Dr. Che's eyes flashed back to Anakin, as if searching for a sign that he recognized her name. He frowned, but he couldn't quite place the name, so he opted to say nothing. Dr. Che seemed a little disappointed by that, but she cleared her throat and continued on. "If you would come with me, I would like to see the three of you privately in my office."
"Why?" Jobal asked, her voice rising with worry, "Is Padme going to be alright?"
"Oh yes, she's going to be fine," Dr. Che quickly assured them, and Jobal's shoulders slumped in relief. "But, I would like to discuss her injuries in detail."
Sola looked back towards the glass ER doors. "Dad went to get coffee…perhaps we should wait for him…"
"No," Jobal said, shaking her head. "I need to know what's happening with my baby. I'll tell your father whatever he missed when he gets here."
Anakin wasn't sure that was such a good idea: if it were him, he would want to know the details of his child's health immediately. But, at the moment, he couldn't technically be considered part of Padme's family, and he decided that his input on the matter would probably not be appreciated. Besides, he also wanted to know how Padme was doing.
So, they followed Dr. Che through the double doors Anakin had stared at for so long, walking into what Anakin could only describe as controlled chaos. There were sick and wounded people being carted to and fro, and doctors and nurses rushed busily past, hardly paying attention to anything that wasn't directly involved with their respective patients. Again, Anakin wondered about the lack of medical droids—humans were so susceptible to error and emotion. He didn't understand how someone could do this for a living.
"It's just around this corner," Dr. Che said after they had passed down multiple winding hallways. Anakin might have lost his way had he not been trained to remember such trivial things. Anakin followed at the back, his stomach in worried knots, wondering what could be so important that Dr. Che needed to speak with them in private, when he heard a gasp from ahead. "Obi-Wan Kenobi!" Dr. Che suddenly exclaimed.
Anakin blinked, his mind coming back to reality. Sure enough, Obi-Wan had just turned the corner, a frown on his face as he looked at Dr. Che, who he had evidently bumped into. "I'm sorry," He said slowly, shooting Anakin a look that said, Do you know this woman? Anakin shrugged. Obi-Wan's frown deepened, and he looked at her again. "My apologies, but do we know each other?"
Again, Dr. Che stared at Obi-Wan with blatant curiosity, tilting her head to the side, but when he asked her that, she seemed to remember her professionality. "I'm sorry. I should introduce myself. I'm Dr. Che, and…"
"Dr. Che?" Obi-Wan's eyebrows shot up, and if Anakin wasn't mistaken, it seemed as if Obi-Wan actually recognized the woman. "As in, Vokara Che?"
A huge smile spread across her face. "The one and only."
Suddenly, Anakin remembered who this woman was. "Of course! How could I be so stupid?" He muttered under his breath, and Vokara, the once Twi'lek Jedi Healer who had mended not only Anakin's first amputated arm, but also multiple other injuries both he and Obi-Wan had sustained over the years, turned to give him a pointed look over her shoulder.
"Of course, you would forget me." She chided dryly, and Anakin cleared his throat in embarrassment, his cheeks flushing.
"Wait, do you three…know each other?" Sola asked hesitantly, and immediately Vokara seemed to remember where exactly she was and that she was still expected to be professional. Anakin remembered Vokara as being very strict in her professionalism, especially when it came to her patients, but Anakin doubted that she met many people from their galaxy here, let alone ones who actually remembered her.
"Yes. We knew each other a long time ago." She glanced sideways at Obi-Wan, "Does this mean you're with Anakin?"
"Yes. I am." Obi-Wan responded with a nod.
Vokara looked back at Jobal for approval, and Jobal nodded her head. "If Obi-Wan is a friend of Padme's, I have no problem with him being with us."
Vokara nodded, and shot Obi-Wan a look. "You two will need to meet with me privately later to," she hesitated, glancing at a very confused looking Sola and Jobal, "catch up."
"Of course." Obi-Wan replied with a wan smile, and as Vokara continued to lead them to her office, he fell into step next to Anakin.
"How is Ahsoka?" Anakin muttered so that only Obi-Wan could hear.
"Tired, but she's going to be fine." He nudged him as Vokara opened her office door and led Jobal and Sola into the room, "She told me to tell you, 'Don't worry about me, Sky Guy: Worry about Padme.'"
Anakin rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but smile. "She knows me too well."
"That she does." With that, both men stepped into the room.
Jobal and Sola took the only two seats opposite of Vokara's desk, so both Obi-Wan and Anakin moved to stand behind them, leaning back against the wall. The office was small, and unlike most offices in this world that were usually decorated with the personal touches of the owner, Vokara's office was only filled with the necessities that a doctor would need, save for a plush blue chair that Vokara now sat in, taking a deep breath. "As I said, Padme is going to be fine. It won't be an easy recovery for her, but with some physical therapy, she should be back to normal in a few months time."
"Just how bad are we talking here?" Sola asked.
"Well," Vokara started, "She broke both of the bones in her left forearm: We had to do surgery to fix that, and I expect that to take the longest to heal. She also had a few broken ribs on her left side, but thankfully, they didn't puncture a lung." Anakin let out a breath in relief: The broken bones were bad enough. He couldn't imagine his wife being in even more pain than that. "She does have a concussion, a severe case of whiplash, and a mildly sprained left knee, and a severely sprained left ankle."
Jobal's hand went to her heart, and she let out a distressed groan. "My poor baby," she said, and if Anakin wasn't mistaken, it sounded like she was about to cry.
"These will all heal in time, Mrs. Amidala," Vokara assured her, before she paused, a strange look passing over her features for a brief second before it was gone. "But I do have some rather…unfortunate news... to give you, I'm afraid." She sounded as though she were choosing her words carefully, and Anakin immediately straightened in concern. If a doctor was choosing words carefully, there was something terribly wrong. The Force welled up within his chest, confirming his suspicions…which only made his anxiety worse. He glanced over at Obi-Wan, who seemed to register the same feeling in the Force, as he had a worried look on his face as well.
Anakin didn't miss these confirmations from the Force.
"What is it, Doctor?" Jobal asked, her voice filled with worry, clasping her hands tightly together in her lap.
Vokara took a deep breath before she answered. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but we were not able to save the baby."
Stunned silence filled the room. If a pin had dropped, it would have sounded like exploding dynamite. For several long moments, no one spoke.
"WHAT baby?," Sola asked, but Anakin hardly heard her. Dr Che's words were ricocheting in his head over and over again, but somehow he couldn't make sense of them. Of course, on the surface he understood them, but when he tried to make them apply to his Padme, to himself (because he knew with certainty that he was the father), to them, he just…couldn't. Anakin barely registered Obi-Wan shifting away from the wall, giving him a concerned look, as if he were waiting for Anakin to snap.
And, maybe he would.
Vokara continued on, as if her words weren't ripping Anakin's world to even smaller shreds. "Ms. Amidala was pregnant, but unfortunately, the trauma of her injuries was too much this early in the pregnancy, and she miscarried the child. We had to call an Ob/Gyn specialist in surgery."
With every word she spoke, Anakin felt them burrow deeper into his befuddled brain, and the realization that this was really happening, that he had yet again lost a child, began to become too heavy a burden. His breathing suddenly became shallow, and he felt as if the breath had been knocked from his body. Padme had lost her child. Padme had lost his child.
No, Padme had lost their child.
And, then the dreaded question that he couldn't handle automatically entered into his consciousness. What if that was Luke and Leia?!
"I don't understand, Dr Che. Pregnant? How far along was she anyway? I mean, Padme hadn't said anything to any of us about this!," Jobal said. Sola agreed with her mother, silently shaking her head affirmatively. But, Anakin knew exactly how far along Padme was. The Gala...Oh Force, this happened the night of the Gala! The understanding permeated his fogged senses as memories of that night suddenly assailed him.
Anakin didn't say any of that out loud, feeling it was too personal and was a private matter between he and Padme only; however, his brain registered Dr. Che's next words. "Well, she was only about a month along at most in her pregnancy. In fact, the Ob/Gyn doctor we called in feels confident that she was so early that she, in fact, probably wasn't even aware of this herself yet." Which explains why she hadn't told me, Anakin thought to himself. Suddenly, Anakin felt lightheaded and dizzy.
"Anakin!?" Vokara's concerned voice seemed rather far away…everything was muffled in Anakin's ears. He could feel the wide-eyed gaze of both Sola and Jobal upon him, staring openly. He felt Obi-Wan grab his right arm, and at first Anakin didn't know why, but then he realized his knees had buckled and given out from underneath him, and Obi-Wan was trying to support his weight.
"Here," Sola said, her voice sounding far away, and he vaguely had the sense of Obi-Wan practically dragging him to the chair Sola had just given up for him.
"I'm sorry," he could hear Vokara saying to…someone. He didn't know who. He stared at his knees, his hands shaking, trying to keep himself from having a complete meltdown. "I didn't realize that Anakin was the father…"
In the midst of his despair, Anakin could barely recall that Vokara hadn't been aware of his relationship with Padme before. He couldn't blame her, as they had had to keep it a secret, but even if she had known, he didn't think there was a way she could have broken this news without him feeling as if the entire world were being ripped away from him. To think that they might have just lost Luke and Leia…again…
He was breathing hard now, struggling to keep himself from having a panic attack. "Will...will she s-still be able to have children?" Anakin managed to get out. Perhaps it hadn't been Luke and Leia. Perhaps there was still a chance they could…
After some hesitation, Vokara responded, "Yes. The OB/Gyn assures us there was no permanent injury. After her body heals from this, she should be able to safely have other children."
Anakin let out a shaky breath and nodded his head. It wasn't much, but he supposed it was better than nothing. That's what he told himself, at any rate. He rubbed a trembling hand down his face, and when that didn't make the pressure behind his eyes go away, he pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep...but shaky...breath. Still, silent tears managed to slip through, and they slid down his face. He vaguely registered the pressure of Obi-Wan's supportive hand on his shoulder, could feel Obi-Wan sending what comfort he could offer through their connection in the Force.
"We can't tell Ruwee about this," He heard Jobal say, "If he found out…it wouldn't be good for his health, not with the stress of everything else going on." She hesitated. "Well, at least we won't tell him now."
"I agree." Sola said, and her voice was solemn and serious, and Anakin couldn't recall the last time he had heard her sound like that. "But, who will tell Padme?"
"I will." Anakin answered immediately. There was a moment's pause, and he half expected someone to object. He didn't look up as he explained, "It was my baby, too. I was the father. I'll take responsibility for this."
"Anakin, It's not your fault," Obi-Wan said quietly, and Anakin knew this but…Oh Force, why had Padme left her parent's home?! Now more than ever, Anakin wanted…no, he needed to know why, to try and understand.
"I'm so sorry, Anakin." Vokara said with a sigh, "I should go check on Padme. She'll probably be unconscious for a while, but you can visit her at any time." Oh, Anakin had no intention of leaving her side even for a minute. He had to figure out a way to break the news to her about their baby, and he needed to know that she really was going to be okay. "Oh. And, here are her things." She handed Sola a plastic bag. "I'll be here if you need me. When she is out of recovery and we get her settled in a room, I'll let you know. You can wait in the ER waiting room until then." And with that, she left the office, leaving the four in silence.
"Ben is right," Sola said as she opened the bag, "This isn't your fault, Anakin. Don't blame yourself."
"I know." It was so hard to talk. He just wanted to be alone with his wife. He wanted her to remember him. He wanted to be back in their apartment at 500 Republica on Coruscant. He wanted their children back. He wanted so many things that he could never have.
Sola sighed, continuing to rifle through the bag. "Well. It looks like everything is here…wait a second…" She frowned, reaching deeper into the bag, and pulled out something that Anakin couldn't see. She looked puzzled, and Anakin wondered what Padme could have had that would have caused that reaction in her sister. "What are these? I've never seen these before."
"What are you looking at?" Jobal asked, and in response, Sola held up whatever it was she had found.
And this time, Anakin's world did stop. He stopped breathing. His mouth dropped open in shock. Momentarily, the tragedy of losing yet another child was buried deep within his heart.
For in Sola's hands were two items that he and Padme had once treasured. On a delicate silver chain hung the japor snippet he had carved for Padme when he was nine. Dangling next to it in Sola's other hand was his Padawan braid.
Anakin straightened up in his seat, his hands itching to grab them both from her and cradle them in his fingers reverently. Swallowing hard, he forced himself to stay still, however. "Those are mine," He breathed out softly. "But how did she…"
He couldn't finish the sentence. "Anakin is right: I've seen those in his possession before." Obi-Wan said, and Anakin could hear the unspoken question in Obi-Wan's voice: How did those get here?
But the question that reverberated through Anakin's mind was not necessarily that. Instead, as Sola handed the snippet and braid to him, Anakin looked at the items that Padme had kept safe in an ornate mahogany jewelry box in their bedroom in their apartment on Coruscant for so many years, and wondered…
How and why did Padme have these?
I REALLY tried not to have this one be a cliffhanger, but it's a long chapter and I just...couldn't write anymore. I PROMISE it's the last cliffhanger for...well, at least a while. Things are about to calm down for a bit as I begin to transition the story out of climax mode to the next stage of their lives.
Sorry for the late update. The past few weeks have been...bizarre to say the least. Seriously, very, very bizarre. Hopefully that's going to go away though. I'll update soon!
The song for this chapter is Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson.
Also. I've now seen the Force Awakens 5 times. Because...reasons. (sideways look)
Review! Those reviews seriously got me through the past week. Like...I can't even say how much they did.
Love,
Sarah
