40

BPOV

I stood in front of the window in Marcus' classroom, nervously nibbling on my bottom lip. I could hear Edward and Marcus talking behind me but I wasn't paying much attention to what they were saying. I was too nervous to think about anything else but what I was going to have to do this afternoon; Face my parents.

God, just calling them that left a bad taste in my mouth. They weren't my parents, not anymore anyway. I didn't know who they were now. My parents never would have sold me out like that. My parents never would have betrayed me and my brothers like they did. They were assholes who were hell-bent on ruining my life.

"Motherfuckers," I muttered, shaking my head.

"What was that, Bella?" asked Marcus. I turned and looked at him. He was sitting behind his desk with his feet propped up and his hands resting comfortable on his abdomen.

"I said motherfuckers," I repeated. "I don't think I can do this."

"You can do this, Bella, because they need to know that you aren't going to let them hurt you anymore," said Marcus, smiling softly. "This is big step for you to get your life back and I know you can do it."

"What if the judge sends me back to them?" I whispered, wrapping my arms around my torso. I could feel the panic already starting to rise up inside of me. Edward immediately stood up, crossed the room, and pulled me into his arms.

"It's ok, baby," he murmured.

"He won't, Bella," said Marcus. "The judge is not going to side with people who knowingly and willingly abandoned their daughter just to protect their sorry asses."

"Did you just say ass?" I asked, smiling at him. "How uncouth of you."

"Yeah, well, you and Edward have corrupted me," he said, snorting. The bell rang and I sighed.

"Guess that's my cue," I muttered.

"It'll be ok," said Marcus, standing up. He came over and patted me in the back. "I promise."

"I hope so," I muttered.

Edward slipped his arm around my waist as we headed out of the classroom. In fact, Edward kept his arm around me as we walked down the hall to the front doors of the school. I turned in his arms and buried my face in his chest, trying to find the courage to get through this and let him go. I felt Edward lean down and press his lips on the top of my head, which just made me want to hold onto him even more.

"I'll be at the gym when you get done," he whispered. His voice was shaky and full of unspoken uncertainties.

"Promise?" I asked, letting my tears fall onto the front of his shirt.

"Look at me," he whispered. I looked up at him and saw the tears swimming in his eyes, too. "I promise to be at the gym when you get done. I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Edward, " I cried.

I leaned up and kissed him before I pulled away from him and ran down the front walk of the school. I jumped into the backseat of Carlisle's car and fell into Jasper's waiting arms. He held me against his chest as Carlisle pulled the car away and headed down to our meeting with the judge and our parents.

The car ride to the courthouse was tense and awkwardly silent. None of knew what to say or do in this moment. We were lost and barely hanging on. Sometimes I forgot that I wasn't the only one who had lost my parents. My brothers did too and not only that, but they took on the responsibility of raising their sister. I certainly hadn't made it easier for them.

"You guys know that I love you, right?" I asked as Carlisle parked his car. I sat up as he, Emmett, and Jasper looked at me. "I know that I haven't always made things easy. You've all given up so much for me…but…" I trailed off as I felt the tears building back up in my eyes. "You never gave up on me, even when I called you fuckers and assholes. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't taken me in and I love you so much."

"Oh, Bella," whispered Jasper. "I thought you were going to get through that whole thing without saying fuck."

"Jas," I cried. He reached out and pulled me back into his arms.

"Bell, everything we have done for you, we have done because we love you. You're our baby sister and no matter what, we are in this together," he murmured.

"Yeah, Jas, is right," said Emmett, placing his hand on my back. "We love you, little sister, and we are not going to let them take you from us."

"Besides, I still have a shit load of stuff to teach you," smiled Carlisle. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off. "That's the little sister I know and love."

"Ok, let's get this shit done," I muttered, pulling away from Jasper.

The four of us climbed out of the car and headed into the courthouse. Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper were all wearing their nicest dress pants and shirts while I refused to change who I was. I was wearing my favorite jeans with rips in the knees, a long sleeve black shirt, and Edward's 'The Who' t-shirt. I needed something of his close to me, since he couldn't be here with us.

I wanted him, Esme, Ed, Elizabeth, Rose, and Alice to be here but Rose and Alice were both trying to catch up from all the work they missed while we had been kidnapped and taken to hell, as I liked to call it, and couldn't afford to take off anymore time. Neither could Esme, not after missing a week. Ed and Elizabeth had to fly back to Italy to pack up everything and make their return to the states permanent. As for Edward, well, my brothers were afraid that the judge would see how dependent I was on him and call it an unhealthy attachment. Maybe they were right but I really could have used him right now.

The four of us walked into the large conference room and found Nolan and Corrine sitting on one side of the table with Charlie and Renee sitting next to them. I settled into the seat between Carlisle and Emmett while Jasper sat in the seat on the other side of Emmett. We just sat there in complete silence until the door to the room opened.

I looked back to see the judge, a tall Latin man with silky black hair and matching eyes, come into the room followed by the court reporter. He settled at the end of the table and looked around at all of us, letting his eyes rest on me. I couldn't get a read on what he was thinking and that scared the shit out of me.

"Well, we are meeting today to discuss the application for custody of Miss Isabella Cullen by her parents, Nolan and Corrine Cullen," said the Judge. "I am Judge Eleazar Sanchez. Now, before we get started, I want to make myself clear that I expect everyone to act like adults and not children. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, your honor," everyone muttered but me. Eleazar seemed to noticed that but didn't say anything.

"Good," he said, turning to Nolan and Corrine. "Your son, Carlisle, has custody of Isabella-"

"Bella," I said, interrupting him. He looked over at me. "My name is Bella. Isabella is what they call me and I don't like it."

"Very well," he said, smiling at me. He looked back over to them. "Carlisle has custody of Bella. Why do you feel that she would be better off with you?"

"Your honor, Carlisle has done a fantastic job with Bella but we are her parents and we should be the one raising her," said Corrine. I folded my arms across my chest and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth to stop myself from laughing in that bitches face. "Since she has been with them, she had turned into an angry, bitter girl. She needs us."

I snorted and looked away. Gee, I wonder why I am so bitter.

"Why are you bitter, Bella?" asked Eleazar. I looked over at him and realized that I had said that out loud.

"You'd be a little bitter too if you realized that your so called parents threw you away," I said, quietly.

"We didn't throw you away, Isabella," said Nolan. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Bella, how did they throw you away?" asked Eleazar. I opened my eyes and looked over at him.

"They left me to die," I said, thickly. Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder. "They chose to lie to me, to my brothers, about being dead for two years, just to save their own asses. They let me go crazy with guilt for not helping them, not saving them. Then they come back and expect me to just be all happy to see them? I don't know them anymore, your honor."

"We're the same people we were," insisted Corrine. I looked over at her.

"No, you're not," I said, shortly. "My parents put their kids before themselves. They would never have let them send me to a mental hospital and let the those bastards keep me drugged up."

"We told you that we didn't do that," said Nolan.

"You didn't stop them either!" I snapped.

"Bell, calm down," murmured Emmett, placing his hand on my other shoulder. I took a deep breath and leaned back in my seat.

"Neither of you have clue just how fucked I am," I said, feeling my tears building up.

"Tell us." said Eleazar. I looked over at him. He was leaning back in his chair with his arms folded in front of his chest.

"I wanted to kill myself," I muttered, wrapping my arms around my torso and looking at the table. God, I needed Edward. "I used to go to cliffs a few miles outside of La Push. I would stand on the edge, looking down at the razor sharp rocks. It would have been so much easier to just let them carry my pain away," I said, letting my tears fall.

"Why didn't you?" asked Eleazar.

"I couldn't have hurt my brothers like that," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "I was already making life plenty difficult for them."

"How?" he asked.

"I was angry," I said, looking over at him. He was sitting there watching me and ignoring everyone else. "I lashed out at them and called them names. They gave up school, relationships, having lives for me. I got into fights at school. I hurt them in my sleep."

"In your sleep?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I have terrifying nightmares every night. They used to be about those men coming back for me, for my brothers, but now, I'm scared of my parents taking me from everyone that I can trust." I took a deep breath and I clenched my fists together. "They have to hold me down so that I don't hurt myself but sometimes I hit them in the struggle and I hate that I hurt them."

I wrapped my arms tighter around my body as I was overcome by my tears. Jasper pushed away from the table and came up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and brought his lips down to my ear.

"It's not you," he whispered. "It's the fear that lashes out. You have done nothing wrong."

"Jas," I cried, gripping his arms in my hands.

"Nothing, Bella," he whispered.

"Perhaps we should take a break," suggested Eleazar.

"I'm fine," I said, sniffing. Jasper kissed the top of my head before he let go of me and took his seat. "I would rather just get this done with."

"Ok," said Eleazar. "Do you still want to die?"

"No," I said, quietly.

"What changed?" he asked. I looked over at him.

"I was saved," I smiled.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Edward saved me," I said, smiling.

"Edward Masen?" he asked.

"Yes," I murmured.

"He hasn't done anything other than turn you away from us," grumbled Corrine. I snapped my head over to her.

"He was the only person who stood up for me when people called me a whore or a murderer," I snapped. "Did you know that people around here thought that I killed you? That they branded me a fucking killer? A drug dealer? But not Edward," I continued. "He stood up for me. He told them to fuck off and leave me alone. Where were you when I needed you? You weren't here. You hiding and leaving me, Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper to fend for ourselves!"

"Ok, everyone needs to calm down," said Eleazar, leaning up to the table. It was then that I realized that I was gripping the edge of the table to tightly that my knuckles were bone white. I pried my fingers off the table and looked over at him.

"Edward loves me even though I tried to push him away. He makes me feel safe and protected," I said, letting my tears fall. "His sister, Esme, doesn't let me get away with shit but she also understands that sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I need to just back off and take deep breath. His father, Edward Sr., makes me laugh. He doesn't push me to talk about all of this. He tells me jokes just to get me to smile," I cried, bringing my hand up to my chest. "Elizabeth, his mom, she lets me cry on her shoulder. She tells me that it's going to be ok and she loves me. She's the mom I haven't had in two years. Rosalie and Alice are the sisters that I never wanted but that I needed. My brothers taught me how to fight back, to stand up for myself. They gave me the strength to hold on when I was ready to let go. Please don't take me from my family," I sobbed, wrapping my arms around myself. "Please."

"Come on, Bell," murmured Carlisle, pulling me to my feet. "Let's go."

"Mr. Cullen, we aren't done here," said Eleazar. Emmett and Jasper stood up next to us and pulled me from Carlisle's arms into theirs as I cried.

"Your honor, with all due respect," said Carlisle, "we are done here. Bella has been through enough. She had tried to tell them more than a dozen times in the last handful of weeks that she needed time and space to deal with everything that is running through her pretty little head. She's seventeen and she shouldn't have to be dealing with their guilt trip. Now, maybe I'm wrong here but I love my sister too much to sit here and let her fall apart because they are too selfish to think about someone other than themselves."

"Ok, Mr. Cullen," said Eleazar. "We will meet here tomorrow at two o'clock. I will have my decision then."

"Thank you, your honor," muttered Carlisle.

He pulled me out of Emmett and Jasper's arms and lead us through the double doors My knees gave out on me after just a couple of steps. Carlisle swept me into his arms and carried me out of the courthouse and out to the car. He climbed into the backseat with me and held me close to his chest while Emmett drove the four of us back to the gym.

Emmett pulled up behind the gym and we climbed out. We headed up to the apartment and found Edward, Rose, Alice, and Esme all waiting for us. I pulled away from Carlisle and ran over and jumped into Edward's arms, holding onto him as tightly as I could and cried.

"It's ok, love," he whispered, carrying me to my bedroom. He knew me so well. He laid me down on my bed and climbed on next to me. He pulled me back into his arms and I laid my head on his chest. "How'd it go?"

"I don't know," I murmured. "He's making his decision tomorrow."

"Oh," muttered Edward. I leaned up on my elbow and looked at him. He looked just as scared as I did.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too," he murmured, bringing his hand up to my cheek.