Summer passed and Autumn arrived bringing with it a biting cold wind and an eerie mist covering the city of Midgar that had nothing to do with the mako reactors' toxic fumes.

Lightning missed the autumns of her childhood. Missed the trees, the gentle breeze, the sunny afternoons she'd spent playing in her parents backyard.

There were no multicolored leaves to litter the streets here. No chestnuts to collect. No water puddles to jump into and no kites flying in the sky.

The city was as grey as it had been since she had arrived and just as it had been in summer, the autumn air seemed dead. Lifeless. Stale. Even the icy winds did nothing to change that petty fact.

Being a second class now Claire Farron's days hadn't changed a lot.

She was still on missions. Was still combing the slums for wererats and drakes and scouring the sewers for blugu and sahagin.

Her training with Sepiroth had gotten more and more demanding though.

He sent her through uncountable training programs in the simulation training room. Simulations of past first class missions, of battles against beasts and against the wutai too.

Their private lessons had progressed to the next level as well.

They were training with swords now. As in him having his sword out too. And it wasn't something Lightning was especially happy about.

General Sephiroth Crescent was intimidating enough as he was. Add a sword to him and the man became a menace.

His swordart was amazing. There was no denying that.

And yes.

They called it art for a reason, Lightning was aware.

Because surely what he was doing had to be an art rather than mere fighting style. What he did had nothing to do with technique, with experience, or training. Was nothing that could be taught in a lesson.

It was a gift. A gift Lightning could never possibly dream to posess, could never impossibly match.

Yes. Ligthning had come to fear Masamune. Had come to dread the deadly sharp odachi blade.

But she had come to admire it too. As she'd come to admire Sephiroth.

Masamune wasn't an easy weapon to handle. Definitely no beginner's blade. Whielding it required considerably more strenght and skill than any conventional katana would require. Lightning was aware. She'd probably have done more harm than good had she ever had the chance to wield it. Not that she would have wanted to.

That blade belonged to Sephiroth. And while she did admire the way he handled it, she knew it was a skill that took ages to acquire. Decades maybe.

Definitely nothing she could have pulled off after just a few meager months.

Who was he? The man behind the silver hair, the leather uniform, the war hero decorations. The man behind that seemingly impenetrable killer mask.

Sometimes Lightning couldn't help but wonder.

How had he become like this?

All rough edges, all harsh words and haughy smirks.

Had Sephiroth Crescent ever really had a childhood? Or had that blade been laid into his cradle?

Lightning guessed it was rather the latter than the first.

And somehow she didn't envy him at all.

Lying down on the thin matress of her bunk back in her private quarters, Claire Farron closed her eyes.

Her childhood...

For nothing would she have traded those memories away.

Not even for Sephiroth's battle skills.

Those had been the best days of her life.

The only days she'd really felt alive.

The only days where she'd felt whole. Safe. Back when the world had still been alright.

All those endless days with her family spent down at the beach in the backyard of her parents beachhouse in Bodhum. Collecting shells with the gentle waves kissing her bare feet. All those walks in the nearby woods. Climbing trees. Building shelters out of fallen branches. Searching the underwoods for fallen coconuts. Her first time on a bike. Her first ride on a chocobo.

The memories were beautiful. Beautiful but somehow sad.

While Claire Farron treasured them more than anything, still those memories threatened to fill her eyes with tears whenever she allowed hersef to dig them out.

Sitting up on her cot, the pink haired second class gave a long regretful sigh.

If only she coud turn back time...

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Who could be calling at that time of the day? Claire Farron wondered.

It was late in the evening already and she'd been about to go to sleep. She was already wearing her pyjamas in fact.

It was only reluctantly therefore that she got up from her bed and made over to open the door.

Whatever this was about it'd better be urgent.

She definitely had no desire to be seen in her PJ's over nothing.

'BOOOO!'

The second she released the lock the door was thrown open to reveal the most hideous creature second class Farron had ever seen.

It had a hairy green head with weird antenna growing out of it's scalp, huge bloodshot eyes, plus a squashed ugly snout with giant fangs prodruding from it's pulled up flews.

There was a flash of fists and the monster was on the ground. It's strangely human paws going up to it's face, a second later it shed it's ugly skin to reveal none other than Zack Fair, sporting a heavy nosebleed.

'ZACK?!' the pink haired soldier exclaimed, totally startled by the unanticipated revelation.

She had in fact been about to place a well aimed kick at her comrade's disguised forehead.

'WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!'

'Ouch! That hurt!' her friend complained from behind his probing fingers. Looking up at her accusingly, there was blood dripping down his chin and staining the front of his costume already.

Claire Farron quickly fished a pack of tissues from her nightstand and bent down help him with his mess.

'What the fuck were you thinking, jump scaring me like that?!' she started irritadly as impatiently she dabbed away at her friend's already bruising face.

'What's up with this anyway? That's sick.' the pink haried second class required as she gestured up and down Zack's body, that was wrapped in a weird hairy green body suit fitting that ridiculous mask of his.

'Come on... It's Halloween... That was supposed to be fun.' Zack Fair replied defensively.

Claire Farron only arched a brow.

'Is this a joke?'

'No. Come on, we're meeting down in the commons. Kunsel's organized a party. I heard some of the turks are coming too.' the pup explained, his voice sounding a little muffled from the rapid swelling of his nose.

Lightning only stared.

'There's pumpkin cake.' he added at an afterthought as together they managed to heave him back to his feet.

'Charming nightgoan by the way.'

That last line of his, it made Claire Farron blush.

Never had she intended anyone to see her in her pink Pjs. Well. Except for Serah maybe.

'Oh! I almost forgot. Here, I've got a mask for you too.' Zack said as he began to wrestle something silky black out of the depths of his costume's pockets.

'No way.' Claire Farron protested instantly.

'Oh, come on. It'll be fun.' the black haired youth persisted.

Lightning leaned forward to dab at his nose again, more ungently then necessary this time.

It definitely induced the desired effect.

'Ouch! That hurts you know?!' Zack Fair exclaimed, as quickly he pushed her away to return to holding his nose again.

The mask remained forgotten.

'Well, at least you won't need any fake blood.' Lightning smiled.

'Uhm... Yeah... Thanks for that.' Zack replied somewhat bitterly.


It was the few minutes Lightning needed to change back into her uniform and an elevator ride later that they reached the common room.

Zack had donned his mask again, hiding the horrible mess that was his probably broken nose beneath the ugly face of the monster once more and there was only the bloodstained front of his costume now to tell the story of their amicable run in.

Claire Farron stepped out into the commons in nothing but her usual SOLDIER fatigues. Noone would have thought she was about to attend a Halloween party hadn't it been for her bloodstained right hand, and a few drops of blood on her cheek, morbidly matching Zack's shirt front.

The show must go on.

When they arrived the party had already started.

Zack Fair hadn't promised too much.

The main lights from the ceiling had been dimmed with dark red canvas plunging the vast room into a very halloweenish athmosphere and someone had set up lots of candles and fitting decorations. There were creepy cut out pumpins snarling at them from side tables and the pillars that held up the building's structure were wrapped in black and orange garlands. There were even plastic bats and spiders dangling from the ceilings.

There were lots of guests too. Not only the whole third and second class was present, there also seemed to have gathered half of the infantry forces, some of the younger scientists and office workers too, and Lightning even saw Scarlet from the weapon developement department, her monstrous bossom bulging from her usual red evening dress and her pretty face hidden behind a lustrous matching feather mask.

'I heard there was a party.' Lightning heard the head of weapon developement say as they passed her in the crowd.

'I just couldn't resist.'

'Yes, yes, we had devastatingly little to celebrate those past few months.' a short overweight man right next to her replied eagerly.

Claire Farron took a double take to find Palmer from Shin-Ra's failed space program stuffed into a canary yellow Chocobo costume.

Quickly she looked into the other direction to find Rude from the turks standing behind a makeshift DJ booth, his dark sunglasses glittering in a hung up disco ball.

The music blasting from his speakers was promising Claire a headache and it was quickly scanning the area infront of him that the pink haired second class froze in her steps.

There he was again. Reno Sinclair. Rocking the dancefloor together with some blonde haired beauty in a fancy vintage dress with some admittedly pretty awesome shuffling moves.

Quickly Claire Farron turned her face away.

Maybe she should have taken Zack's ruddy mask after all!

Feeling no desire to face the red haired turk from seventh heaven anytime soon, hoping that he had not seen her, she quickly made to follow Zack Fair who had fought his way through the crowd to meet a beautiful fairy in a pinkish silk dress and an labrorious updo and a sexy big boobed nurse.

Aerith and Tifa.

'Hey, I brought some more pumpkins!' the fairy said, reveling a couple of them under a blanket in her flower basket.

'And I brought booze!' Tifa piped up, her breasts threatening to jump out of her snugly fitting shirt.

Lightning couldn't help but stare.

'You are both awesome!' Zack said as he leaned down to give Tifa a pek on the cheek to then turn and start another of his public makeout sessions with Aerith without even taking off his ugly mask.

Claire Farron quickly looked away again to find there was an infantrist approaching them. Fast.

'Oh, Hey Zack! You've made it!' The infantry man called over the noise of the music, ripping Zack out of his 'private' reunion with his girlfriend.

'And you brought your friends too! Awesome!'

'Hi Kunsel!' Zack greeted his disguised fellow soldier.

'Hey I'm Kunsel, Soldier second class.' the newcomer introduced himself, holding his hand out to his female colleague.

'Dressed as an infantry man...' Claire Farron observed as she reached up to shake it.

'You must be Lightning then, I've heard about you of course.' her new aquaintance went on eagerly.

'Hey, whats with the grime expression, huh? What are you dressing up as? Turk?' he added with a grin.

'Here guys, I brought cake too!' Tifa interrupted as she began handing out homemade pumpkin cake pieces to lucky bystanders.

Biting into her's quite carefully, Claire Farron found they tasted wonderfully.

Turning back to thank Tifa and to praise her baking skills Lightning found her eyes drawn back to the form of Reno Sinclair, now lazily leaning against Mr. worldwide's DJ booth.

A tangle of wild red hair as always, he was dressed in his usual turk suit, his dressshirt unbuttoned to show a lean well defined thorso, now shining with sweat from his previous dancing session.

Looking straight at her from underneath his crimson bangs he even had the audacity to wink at her.

That turk. Was he having deathwishes or something?

Hadn't she made herself clear the last time they had talked?

How many times would she have to hit him before he would understand?

One more time at least, it seemed.


Watching the crowd spread out infront his DJ booth, Rude found an agitated looking pink haired second class staring daggers in his direction.

It took the bald headed turk only a moment to realize that the gaze wasn't aimed at him, but his crimson haired colleague lounging against the desk right next to him.

'What is it with you and that second class, huh?' Rude asked as leaning in towards his friend, he pushed his headphones down for them to rest around his neck.

He was waering his sunglasses despite the darkness of the room and Reno Sinclair had no idea how he could actually see with them. He could barely make out anything as it was.

'I don't know Rude. Love of my life. Intimate sex life. Lots of kids.' he said somewhat dreamily.

Rude only gave an amused snort.

'Sure thing.'

'No honestly. I can picture it. It's already happened, yo.' Reno insisted.

'In here.'

Looking up at his bespectacled colleague, he quickly gestured at his head.

Rude could only stare.

'Didn't she hit you in the face the last time you tried to talk to her?' he asked in bewilderment.

'Yeah, well. No. Slapped my cheek actually. But that was just the introduction, yo? She didn't mean it that way. It's just a game. A show. It's her way of telling me how much she wants me.' Reno explained, a weird manic glint in his shiny turquoise eyes.

'Uhm... Listen man...' Rude began somewhat carefully. 'How should I put it...'

'Oh, shut up! You know nothing about women, yo!' Reno interrupted.

'If she says no, she means yes. If she hits you in the face she means take me.'

For a few moments Rude only continued to stare at his friend.

Was that really how Reno was thinking about women?

That bloke had to be insane...

'There, I'll show you how it's done, yo!' the redhaired turk said as he kicked away from the booth.

He was instantly restrained by Rude grabbing the back of his suit.

'Reno. No. She'll have you for dinner!'

Oh, what a good friend he was.

'She'll have me for desert!' Reno corrected confidently as with one swift movement he pulled free.

'Oh dear...' Rude murmured before he pushed his headphones back over his ears.

He might as well play a funeral waltz for his friend.

It was with a selfassured grin that Reno Sinclair turned around to walk towards his certain death just to almost crash into Director Lazard.

'What in Gaia's name is going on here?!' the director yelled.

Suddenly the room was quiet.

'What do you think you're all doing here?!' he went on in a very agitated voice.

Every pair of eyes in the room staring at him now, it was obvious the Director did not approve of the merry partying, not at all.

'You are Shin-Ra opperatives! We are in the middle of a war! I want this to stop! NOW!' he raged, while one by one people started scattering and those farthest away quickly melted into the shadows.

'I want everybody back to their rooms in 5 minutes. And don't forget to clean up this mess!'

Claire Farron's cheeks blushing violently she quickly made to blend into the crowd. After everything that had happened she didn't need another reason for Lazard to be angry with her.

No. She couldn't be seen.

'Yes, yes. Inacceptable. Just Inacceptable.' Lightning heard Palmer pipe up from somewhere next to her as she pushed her way back to the elevators.

The tiny fat man raising a half full cup to director Lazard, Claire Farron heard his costume rustle as his feathers brushed her uniform.

Behind him Scarlet from the weapon developement quickly shed her mask.

'We were just passing by Director and.. Yes... Inacceptable. Inacceptable indeed.'


It was a few minutes later that Lightning found herself savely inside one of the overflowing elevators uncomfortable squeezed inside between Zack and Kunsel as they rode up to the SOLDIER quarters.

The fancy party ending so unexpectedly the three of them had been very fortunate to make it out without being caught.

'Hey Kunsel, shouldn't you technically be downstairs helping with the clear up?' Lightning asked, her comrade's elbow uncomfortably digging into the small of her back, her cheek squashed against Zack's bloodstained shirt.

'I mean that whole thing was your idea wasn't it?'

'Well actually... Yes..' Kunsel began.

'Wait! Where the fuck is Cloud?!' Zack suddenly yelled. 'Do you think he made it out?!'

'Cloud?!' Lightning asked somewhat bewildered. 'But Zack, Cloud wasn't at the party. Did you even ask him to come?'

'Of course he was!' Zack corrected animatedly. 'He was there right from the beginning! He sticked to the dancefloor mostly. That blonde haired beauty, in the vintage dress!'


'Okay, come on. One more time.'

It was another night in the soldier training room and General Sephiroth Crescent was showing her how to spectacularily lose a sword fight for what seemed to be the millionth time.

They'd been 'sparring' if one could call it that. For months now. And it was humiliating how she hadn't managed to beat him even once.

It wasn't so much about technique, Lightning figured.

It was more about experience. More about instincts. And a lot about speed.

He was fast. Too fast.

It was as if her sensei knew all her next moves in advance. Knew them before she'd even thought them up.

Always.

If he didn't block her he always managed to dodge her.

If he didn't dodge her, he could always sidestep her.

And if he didn't sidestep her he'd parry. Which was worse.

It weren't moves he was trying to teach her anymore. Lightning already knew all about them. It wasn't about training her mind. This was about training her body. Training the body to act without the mind. In order to become faster she would have to circumcut the brain. She knew it was what he was doing all the time. Letting his instincts do the work for him.

It was evident and it was frustrating.

Beside him she felt slow and clumsy. Handycapped almost. Felt like a child.

She knew he'd had years of training. Years of firsthand experience.

He was the best. She was aware. And he was full of himself too. Never had she seen anyone so smug about their fighting skills.

Well. He had every right to be so, the haughty bastard.

He'd won Shin-Ra their status as a global power after all. Had won wars and battles and more.

If only she could make him loose one single sparring practise. It would be her dreams come true.

Well. It was something that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. That much was apparent.

The silver haired legend definitely wasn´t planning to go easy on her this time and after some minutes of relentless sword clashing, Claire Farron was rid mercilessly of her precious gunblade once gain.

Before she even knew it Blaze Edge was knocked out of her hand and came to rest a few feet away from her. There was no way for her to reach it in time.

Shit.

She hadn´t seen that coming.

Backing off a few steps as a desperate last resort way of trying to escape her fate, Claire Farron stumbled over her feet and just a fraction of a second later the pink haired female found herself with her back pressed against the hard tiled wall of the training room, the tip of Masamune gently caressing the skin of her throat once more.

"Got you again." Her sensei stated, his expression smug as usual, his face so close that she could feel his words on her cheek.

Somehow being that close to him distracted her.

A lot.

She shouldn´t be that close to him.

Still. It was her long awaited opportunity.

"Got you too..." the pink haired second managed to choke out and it was only then that General Sephiroth Crescent noticed the razor edged blade of a small combat knife being pressed against his neck.

Lightning knew that technically she was cheating.

But what was she supposed to do?

Let him win this every single time?

She had no chance against him playing fair. So, after ending up in this very same position more often lately, she, acting in wise foresight, had equipped herself accordingly.

Her silver haired mentor raising one of his silver eyebrows at her suggestively, Claire Farron knew he hadn´t anticipated her actions either.

It was not the spectacular win she would have longed for.

But it was a stalemate situation. Definitely more than she had hoped for.

And so they stood there.

Neither of them daring to move.

Neither of them wanting to admit defeat.

Claire Farron felt her palms turn sweaty in her black SOLDIER leather gloves.

She could feel the blade of Masamune digging into her skin whenever she dared to swallow a little bit too hard and she felt the hand that held her knife starting to tremble, if only very slightly so.

She had had Masamune on her body a countless times already, had found herself in other maybe more precarious situations with it before, but always had it stayed at a touch. Always careful to keep just the right amount of pressure on it, enough to make her feel impeding demise, not enough to actually hurt her, never, not once, had General Sephiroth Crescent actually cut her with it, not once had it even scraped her skin.

But then again, she had never before pressed a knife to his throat, had she?

Their gazes locked in silent battle, their foreheads almost touching, the pink haired female could feel the heat of her sensei´s body reaching out to her, could feel his chest rising and falling with every breath he took, so close was he, and she couldn´t help but loose herself in the dephts of the legendary hero's deep green mako eyes.

How come she hadn't noticed the beauty of his eyes before?

This close up she saw his pupils weren't round, like her's were, but slightly oval, slitted like a cat's. And they weren't purely mako either. Looking at them more closely Lightning found there were a million tiny specks in them. Silver and blue and amber and...

Those eyes...

Suddenly there was a depth to them Lightning had never expected to find there.

Completely immersed in the magic of the moment, the rest of the world was slowly fading to the background, when suddenly, with a deafening bang the door to the training room was thrown open making Claire Farron jump in surprise, the sharp edge of the blade she had forgotten she was holding cutting through her sensei´s skin like a hot knife would through butter.

She only marginally perceived Zack´s emberassed voice echoing from the high walls of the training room.

'Oh.. Uhm... Sorry! I didn´t mean to interrupt!'

For Lightning it seemed as if someone was talking to her from very very far away. Worlds away, actually.

There was a clatter as the fancy combat knife she had been holding hit the ground, it's shiny blade now stained with dark red blood.

She didn´t even register her friend turning to leave as the second class in question bolted back through the door as fast as he could.

The only thing she was aware of was the man infront of her and the nightmarish dread rising within her as she realized what she had done.

She saw her sensei´s catlike pupils dilating in surprise and his hand darting up to touch his wound.

His black gloved fingers came back bloody and Lightning knew that she was screwed.

It was the first time she had ever seen him bleed.

She in fact found herself a little bit surprised at the fact that General Sephiroth Crescent actually could bleed. And the way the man himself was staring at his fingers, Lightning wasn't sure he'd actually known himself.

The silver haired first class lifting his head to glare at her in disbelieve, Claire Farron just stood there rooted to the spot in shock, her brain working hard to process what she had just done.

She had cut her sensei.

Had given him what could have been a potentially fatal injury had she placed it right.

And the worst of it all was, she hadn't even done it on purpose.

'I´m so sorry... I shouldn't have...I...' She began to stammer helplessly.

Completely horrified by what had happened she had no plan on what to say or do.

Oh, he was so going to kill her for that! He really was.

General Sephiroth Crescent only brought up his hand and stared at his bloody fingers in disbelieve again.

He paused a while, probably trying to assesses the degree of his injury, before pressing his fingers to the cut again, he put Masamune away with a swift motion of his other hand.

'Let me see...' the pink haired female managed, tentatively reaching over to remove his hand.

But the second her fingers touched his skin, the man in front her violently pushed her away.

If it hadn't been for the wall supporting her back, Lightning would have tumbled backwards from the force of it.

Her instructor's gaze trained on his combat boots, apparently pondering whether to kill her now or save it for later, for a few seconds the silver haired first class only stood there, took a few deep calming breaths.

Then without saying another word, without looking at her even, he abruptly turned around and left.

Lightning didn´t see him for the remainder of the day and when she went to the meeting room the morning of the next day, ready to receive a briefing for their next joined mission, she was informed by a secretary that her sensei had already left, without doubt leaving her behind deliberately.

It was upon entering the dining hall that day that she caught Cloud exchanging knowing glances with Zack Fair. The two of them stopping their conversation immediately once she entered hearing range, the pink haired female immediately knew they had been talking about her. Had probably been discussing the incident in the training room from the day before.

Claire Farron could only guess what the situation must have looked like from Zack´s perspective at the other end of the room.

The two of them had been so close together.

She'd stood with her back pressed against a wall, her sensei right infront of her, practically on top of her.

Their foreheads had been almost touching.

And from Zack's position it must have been impossible to see the combat knife that had been clutched inside her hand.

Watching from a distance it would have been easy to misjudge the situation for something else entirely.

Great. Just great. Claire Farron thought as she set her tray down on the table with a bang.


"Dear Serah," Lightning wrote.

"I know it´s been a while since my last letter..."

It was a few weeks later and feeling left out and lonely as she was stuck there at headquarters all by herself, with Sephiroth having left for a mission on his own and Cloud and Zack in private training with their Firsts, Claire Farron had retreated to the privacy of her room.

Disappointed by the fact that Cloud hadn't made second class yet, Genesis Rhapsodos was now insisting on personally training the poor bloke every single evening, giving him a hard time. Lightning didn't envy him.

Zack didn't seem much better off either. Angeal Hewley didn't insist on daily private lessions but he took his pup with him now on almost all his first class missions, leaving Claire Farron to do her midgar maintainance assignments pretty much on her own.

She was glad she had been intruduced to Kunsel at the Halloween party. This way she at least had someone to turn to when she had questions. The well informed second class seemed to know something about everything going on at Shin-Ra HQ and beyond and when he wasn't out on missions he seemed constantly available for advice somewhere in the SOLDIER commons.

Still, evenings had become pretty lonely again.

Lightning was trying to write to Serah but for some strange reason the words wouldn´t come.

Instead she wondered where Sephiroth was now.

Weeks had passed already since his departure for that mission. That mission they were supposed to attend together. And Lightning actually caught herself worrying whether he was alright.

It was almost instantly that she stifled a snort.

Stupid.

Of course he was alright.

General Sephiroth Crescent being the ultimate predator already, Lightning knew there was nothing out there that could possibly harm him.

Giving a defeated sigh the pink haired second class tried to steer her mind away from the memories of the terrible incident that had occured between her sensei and herself a day before he'd left for that mission.

The mission they had actually planned on attenting together.

Their first mission as a team.

Her big chance.

Yes. She had screwed up big style again.

There was no denying it.

And this time he really was angry with her. Lightning could tell.

Directing her thoughts back to her letter Claire Farron picked up the fancy Christmas card she had bought for Serah in one of the shops down in loveless avenue and turned it over in her callused fingers.

It showed a merry father Christmas celebrating with his Chocobos and a whole wagon full of presents in the background.

She had yet to write her merry Christmas wishes inside.

She had gotten Serah a present too. A pair of earmuffs and an especially cozy looking sweater. Not that she would need it much back in Bodhum, but still. Serah might travel the world herself sometime.

They both sat atop her nightstand in bright red gift wrapping paper.

With Christmas approaching fast Lightning knew she'd better finish her letter and post everything soon in order for it all to arrive in time.

Still words wouldn't come. Her thoughts kept drifting back to the silver haired first class instead.


Christmas arrived with frosty winds and a snowstorm Claire Farron found herself cought up in while out in the slums, clearing the area of monsters once more.

It wasn't exactly the kind of christmas present she would have wished for.

Her face crusted with snowflakes and her breath misting out infront of her it was with her toes and fingers turning numb that she climbed the stairs back to Shin-Ra HQ.

With Sephiroth still absent, having nothing better to do, she'd begun to help out Cloud with his missions again, taking over most of his assignments, as she was in fact doing right then.

He was still far behind Zack and herself, both strenght and skill wise but all the private training with Genesis seemed to be paying off after all.

He was doing better now. Having miraculously managed to show off during one of his previous missions, were he had apparently saved his squad from impending doom by killing off some huge murderous beast all by himself, Cloud Strife had finally been recommended for second class. Something Director Lazard hadn´t agreed to yet, but it was an improvement nonetheless.

Lightning couldn´t help but wonder how he had actually done it.

Cloud was the worst fighter she had ever seen in SOLDIER and he had not an ounce of courage inside his lanky body. Always trying to stay in the background, letting others do the work for him, no matter how hard Claire Farron tried, she just couldn´t picture her spiky haired comrade accomplishing a feat like that.

Years would pass before during an especially festive night, Lightning would find out that that day Zack had actually been hinding under Cloud´s third class uniform.

The black haired second class had been taking over that mission as well as various other assignments too and until that very night only the three of them had known the real reason why Cloud had never taken off his helmet during most of his jobs.

Sometimes Claire asked herself how many missions Cloud had actually carried out on his own during his time in SOLDIER. With Zack and herself helping him out so much, she realized that there were hardly any left.

It was shivering like crazy, her clothes soaked, that she finally made it back to HQ.

The snow that had gathered on her clothes had turned to water and ran down her spine in icy currents.

Entering the lobby Lightning found it bursting with cheesy christmas decorations.

There was a giant plastik Christmas tree towering in the middle of the room, stuffed with green glowing fake candles, golden garlands, ribbons and more. And there right underneath it was President Shin-Ra, perched on top of a mako powered Shin-Ra sleigh, all dressed up as Father Christmas, handing out sweets to employees and visitors.

Lightning had to take a double take to make sure she had seen correctly.

'HOHOHO! A little present for you too!' she was suddenly accosted by Genesis Rhapsodos, wrapped in a christmas elve costume and distributing tiny steaming cups to curious bystanders.

'Thank you.' Claire Farron replied once she had recovered from the shock of his appearance and took one of the cups from his silver tray.

It was mercifully hot, warming her icy fingers and upong taking a sip, her frozen insides too.

It tastes like berries and oranges and a little bit like rum.

'Genesis, what is going on here?' Lightning asked, gladly soaking in the warmth coming from her steaming cup.

'Christmas is going on here.' he replied as if it weren't obvious.

'I agree it might be a little cheesy but there's always the bar over there for the more obstinate of us.' He added when she didn't respond, pointing over to a giant gingerbreadhouse that had replaced the information desk where she could see Angeal stuffing his face with sweets.

'There's Christmas cookies too.' Genesis said, rummaging through his cloak and producing a bag with crumbled cookies that looked like he had sat on them.

'I heard President Shin-Ra baked some of them himself.' he informed knowingly.

At that Claire Farron only scrunched up her nose.

'Well come then, take another drink, you look like you need it.' the redhead offered hopefully.

But the pink haired second class quickly shook her head.

'No, thank you. But Genesis...'

She didn't know what made her ask. And him of all people. But still. She had to ask someone. She had to know.

'Is there any news from Sephiroth?'

The crimson haired first class raising his brows at her in surprise he only gave a little shake of his head.

'No. Not that I've heard.' he said, suddenly seeming eager to leave.

'Scared you'll fall behind with your training are you, huh?'

'Yes. That's it. Exactly.' Lightning lied.

Making her way to the elevators the pink haired second class couldn't help but wonder whether Sephiroth'd gone missing in action.

It was something that did happen sometimes. It had infact happened to a second class back during Claire Farron's first month in SOLDIER when she'd still been in basic training.

Then again she was sure she would have heard. Shin-Ra would have gone into uproar had their precious flagship hero disappeared. They did need him to win the wutai war for them after all. And as a walking ad to attract now recruits.

Surely search teams would've been formed to look for him at that very moment. Or would there?

Shin-Ra wouldn't send out anyone looking for her if she'd been missing, that much was for sure.


The days passed and passed and still there was no word from Sephiroth.

Before Claire Farron knew it, it was New Year´s Eve and Zack insisted on her joining the celebrations on the top of the Shin-Ra building.

Lightning didn´t know how time could possibly pass that fast.

It seemed only a few days ago that she had come to Midgar to join SOLDIER and now she was already second class.

She couldn´t believe she´d made it this far in that short amount of time. Or actually that she´d made it at all.

To put it into Lazards phrazing: Who would have thought?

The fancy glass elevator carrying her up to the topmost story of the Shin-Ra building – one of the Shin-Ra technicians had enabled it to take you up there without needing the usual special access keykard for the festive occassion – Claire Farron couldn't help but feel a weird sense of foreboding.

It wasn't as if she had enjoyed any of those previous parties that she had attended, was it?

Somehow there seemed to be a lot of parties here in Midgar. There seemed to be a party for everything.

Since she had joined SOLDIER she had probably attended more parties than in her entire civilian lifetime.

Maybe people in Midgar just liked partying. Or maybe it was the fact that living with the damocles sword of impeding death dangling over your head every second of your day just warranted some festive compensation.

Either way.

Not looking forward to participate in any social event alltogether Lighting hadn´t even bothered to change out of her uniform.

It was something she regretted the moment that she realized Cloud and Zack had both brought dates.

When she finally arrived at the platform they were already there.

Aerith and Tifa, both of them dressed in beautiful festive gowns, their hair elegantly braided on their heads and their lips painted in pretty pinkish hues.

Next to the two of them, Lightning felt ugly and bold.

Painfully aware of the way her baggy trousers made her legs look chunky and fat and how her SOLDIER shirt hid the little cleavage that she had, the pink haired second class suddenly wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground.

Never could she possibly look as graceful and stunning as the two girls did.

Not even if she tried.

It just wasn´t her.

There was no way for her to change that.

Watching them a little longer, Lightning realized she felt jealous.

Jealous of their good looks.

Jealous of them having dates.

Jealous of their lives.

She somehow felt as if the moment she´d joined SOLDIER her private life had somehow frozen over. All the others carrying on with their lives, while her´s just stayed put. As if during a movie, someone had hit the pause button.

Watching the couples having fun and dancing to the music, it depressed her to no end.

Already bad tempered at such an relatively early hour, the pink haried second class made her way over to greet Genesis and Angeal.

Those two at least mercifully seemed to have come on their own.

They were leaning against the balustrade in what Genesis was quick to assure her was the best place to watch the fireworks.

'We better not leave it unoccupied. Someone else might take it!' he told her in a hushed voice, as if somebody might catch on and get ideas.

Lightning couldn´t help but roll her eyes at him.

She spent the next few hours talking to Angeal and Genesis, carefully avoiding the topic of her sensei and his/their mission, her thoughts travelling back to him and the embarrassing incident in the training room all the time.

No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn´t seem to get it out of her head.

She had lost focus while she had had a weapon directed at her mentor´s throat. That could have ended so much worse. Her behavior had been unacceptable. She knew that and she understood. And she kept scolding herself in her head every waking hour, but there simply was no excuse and she knew he was going to make her pay for it once he had returned. And although she felt left behind and abandoned, although she wanted nothing more than for him to come back and release her from her predicament, still, after everything that had happened, Lightning was so not looking forward to face him.

Their next meeting, it surely wasn't going to be pleasant.

Finally midnight approached and little by little people gathered at the banister. Cloud und Zack came to join their female friend on both her sides, eager to get a place in the first row, their obviously jingled dates trailing along behind them.

"10!"

„9!"

Lighting heard the countdown start.

„8!"

„7!"

„6!"

She sensed everybody running around excitedly, hurrying to find a place close to their beloved ones, friends.

"5!"

„4!"

„3!"

Lightning closed her eyes.

Pretended to be somewhere else.

Far away.

Pretended to be home.

Celebrating with all her friends. Celebrating with Serah.

"Are you ready!?" she heard Zack ask Aerith to her right.

The brunette girl just giggled in return.

„2!"

„1!"

For the first time in the new year Claire Farron´s eyes snapped open.

There were people cheering and corks popping. Everybody seemed eager to grab a glass of outrageously expensive sparkling wine first, as the city below them erupted in a deafening outburst of colorful sparks and flashes.

Her eyes fixed on the spectacle in front of her, not caring for the sparkling whine at all, Ligthning marveled at the beautiful colors illuminating the dark night sky. Greens and golds and purples and pinks.

The smell of gunpowder tickling her nostrils, she couldn't help but find that Genesis was right. This definitely was the best place to watch the fireworks.

Looking over at the ginger haired first class she found his gaze fixed on the nightsky, found his eyes glistening in tears, so beautiful he found it.

Zack Fair´s hand brushed against her upper arm as protectively he put his arms around his girlfriend´s shoulders, readily engaging her in one of his deep kisses and Cloud´s elbow was painfully bumping into her side, while Tifa flung her arms around his neck.

Neither of them acknowledging her existence, a strange feeling of emptiness rose inside the pink haired soldier´s chest and tears started stinging her eyes as she realized just how lonely she was.

She had her friends. Yes. Her comrades. But still...

Suddenly she felt out of place.

Having nothing else to do she just stood there leaning against the balustrade and let the events of the past year pass in front her inner eye again while around her the party was reaching its climax.

She couldn´t believe how much her life had changed in just a single year.

She felt proud of how strong she had become, sure. Physically as well as mentally. But she realized that it had also made her cold and empty, most of her emotions stowed away in a chest locked and banished in a place deep inside her heart. And she couldn´t help but feel a funny sadness overcome her when she realised she´d left behind much more than Serah the day that she had left Bodhum. Yes. Her innocence, her carefreeness, her dreams, her identity, her future. She´d left all of that behind the moment that she´d boarded that wrecked train.

Had exchanged it all for becoming a soldier.

Looking inside herself, carefully she tried to find out what was still left of her. Of the person who had left Bodhum for Midgar about eight months ago.

There wasn´t much to find.

It felt as if in choosing to become a member of SOLDIER she had ended her previous life as a human being and had been transformed into a tool without feelings, without dreams, without a future.

Come to think of it, she realized she hadn´t bothered to think much about her future anyway.

She would fulfill her mission, sure. She would be strong until Serah wouldn´t need her anymore.

And then?

I will serve SOLDIER until one day I will die on one of my missions.

The answer came easily and instantly.

Lightning knew she couldn´t go back to lead a 'normal' life. Like get a job, marry and have kids.

She didn´t feel human enough to do any of it anymore.

Maybe this was her sacrifice.

Yes.

This was for Serah.


It was in the early hours of the freshly dawned new year that General Sephiroth Crescent returned.