Force, he was really glad Master Che had been there, waiting for them, when they arrived back in Houston on the Falcon. His dad had comm'd her to let her know Mara had been shot on their mission.
He'd hurried Mara along to the Healer's Ward in the Academy as soon as they'd disembarked from the ship. Thankfully, she was able to walk on her own; though, if he was honest, he'd have swept her into his arms and carried her there himself if she wasn't.
He'd done the best job of patching her up that he could with the well stocked medical kit Han had onboard, but it hadn't contained any bacta patches...and her wound really needed to be sealed first.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Luke asked for like the millionth time, as he walked Mara back to her room in the Jedi Academy. He kept looking at her bandaged arm, the wound now cleaned and stitched with bacta patches on it to help it heal faster. Master Che had also managed to remove the bullet that was lodged in her shoulder, and she had assured them that Mara had suffered no permanent damage to her shoulder. To say he'd been relieved to hear this was an understatement. Now, as they walked along, Luke stared at it as if that would somehow make the patches work faster.
Mara sighed and stopped, reaching up with her uninjured arm to touch his cheek gently in a calming gesture. "I'm fine, Luke. I'm not going to die. You heard Master Che. It didn't even hit an artery, and she gave me this bottle of pain meds to take to help me sleep tonight." She held up the orangish-brown bottle and shook it so he could hear the pills rattling inside. He sighed.
Yeah. He knew that, but still...
"But, you could have gotten…" he began, and she put her finger to his lips this time, silencing him. He still must have been clearly anguished, because she sighed again and suddenly hugged him, holding him close with her uninjured arm. He immediately wrapped her in his arms, careful of her injury, and crushed her close to him, her head cuddled under his chin, and closing his eyes. Flashes of what happened in Namibia to Fireheart kept replaying in his mind. Flashes of his mother being shot. If that happened to Mara….Force, he couldn't take it. He couldn't take another loss.
Mara knew what he was thinking. "I'm okay. I promise. I will do everything in my power to make sure I stay alive. Not just because I like living, mind you, but because I don't want to put you through that pain again, just as I'm sure you wouldn't want me to go through it if you died."
His throat tightened and his breath hitched in his chest, and he squeezed her tighter, before he finally, reluctantly released her. "I'm sorry." He said, his voice ragged as they began going back to her room again. "I shouldn't have kept...kept what was going on with my memories from you. I didn't...actually mean to keep it a secret. I just didn't think to tell you since it's all so crazy to me still."
Mara slipped her hand into his. "I know. I should have realized...I just got upset and over reacted." She was silent for a moment, and Luke had a feeling she was struggling to come up with her next words.
He had a feeling he knew what it was. "We...knew each other. In that other galaxy, I mean. Didn't we?" He already knew the answer. The Force whispered the truth of it...She was something special to him. She always had been.
Mara cast her eyes to the floor and didn't answer immediately, as if worried about his reaction. "We did." she finally said softly. They'd reached her door, and she stopped, leaning back against it, looking up into Luke's eyes, searching. For what, he wasn't sure.
Luke nodded slowly. "We were...more than just friends, weren't we?" He couldn't remember it (and frankly, now was a bad time for those awful headaches, so he was okay with that), but the Force practically screamed the truth to him.
Again, hesitation met his question, and she answered him with one of her own, "Do you want to know the truth?" She continued to stare into his eyes, still searching. Did he? He'd already found out about so much from that lifetime. So many terrible things. And yet….if Mara was there, it couldn't have been all bad, could it? He nodded, and Mara took a deep breath, a blush rising to her cheeks, before she whispered softly, "You and I...We were married."
He blinked at her, stunned. Married?! But, even as he tried to picture himself married to Mara...He found it actually quite easy for him to picture it. It certainly explained the looks she sometimes gave him, even before they started dating, and how she seemed to know him on a level that was way deeper than anyone else he'd ever met. "Somehow...I know." He said in awe. "I mean...I don't remember, but...I just know."
Mara sighed in relief and sagged back against the door. "So you're not...mad?"
He shook his head, puzzled. "Why the hell would I be mad?"
"Well," she said sheepishly, blushing, "I didn't say anything."
"I wouldn't have believed you." He pointed out with a shrug.
"Maybe so. Still…" She shrugged her good shoulder. "I've known about my former life my whole life here on Earth. When my parents died...I went to find you. Somehow, I just knew you had to be here, too. I found Han first, and I figured you wouldn't be far behind him, and sure enough…"
He remembered running into her in Namibia, having caught her bounty before she did, and how she'd frozen, looking at him like she'd found the other half of her missing soul. Now, he realized, she had-and he'd been too torn with grief for Fireheart that he'd missed it.
He reached up and cupped her cheek gently, and she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes, savoring it. "In a way, I'm kind of glad I don't remember it." he cocked his head. "Yet, I'm sure. Because I got to fall in love with you all over again."
Mara opened her stunning emerald green eyes, tears forming in them. "That's the second time in the last twenty four hours that you said you loved me."
"Well," Luke shrugged and smiled, his own cerulean eyes twinkling, "It's true. I love the way you laugh. I love the way your eyes light up when you see me. I love that we share the same music tastes, and that you put up with my obsession with all things space. I love the way you can make us guys cower in terror when we've messed up your living room. I love the witty smartass remarks you make. I love the way you make little grunting noises when we're sparring..."
"I do not!"
Luke laughed. "You do too, and I love that you don't even notice!" He grew serious then. "But, it's more than that. Much more. I love your patience. Your compassion. Your determination to see things through, even if I'm doing something stupid. I love that you have never, not once, given up on me, even when…" he paused, his throat tightening. "Even when you had every right to do so." He could have continued more, but suddenly Mara had flung her good arm around him, fisted her hand in his blonde locks, and pulled him down to her and kissed him, sealing their lips together.
His response was immediate. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him, and he pushed her gently against her door, deepening the kiss, swiping his tongue along her lip, begging for entrance, which she willingly granted. Bliss. This was utter and complete bliss. He could stay like this forever, he realized-he didn't want to do anything else except be with her, and touch her and hold her and…
They broke for air, but he immediately went back for more, kissing her mouth, then her cheek, then her jaw, and when she arched her neck, he began kissing down her neck, pausing to tenderly nip then suckle her earlobe. He felt her fumbling for the door knob behind her, and he instantly knew what she wanted-and he found he wanted it too, more than anything, he wanted her. Here, now…
LUKE SKYWALKER! DON'T. YOU. KRIFFING. DARE!
His father's voice boomed in his mind, obviously furious, making him practically spring away from Mara with a jerk, looking around for his father's tall figure to come striding forcefully toward them, as if he'd walked in on them...and then remembered...he had absolutely no shielding. Dammit! Meaning that his father probably heard every word he'd just said to Mara...and he'd also been there for the kissing...and he'd just heard every single one of Luke's very inappropriate desires…
Luke went red as a lobster, and Mara couldn't help but smirk. "Your dad?" She asked, arching a delicate eyebrow, and he nodded. She pursed her lips, then grinned, "Tell him I said mind his own damn business."
YOU CAN TELL HER NOT TO SEDUCE MY SON, THAT'S WHAT!
His father fumed loudly in his mind, and Luke could feel his dad's fury...and the embarrassment from his father's end...and despite himself he couldn't help but smirk, too.
"He says not to seduce me." He told Mara dryly, raising an eyebrow suggestively.
Mara's smirk turned into a feral grin. "Oh, Luke," She said dramatically, "Take me now!"
DON'T YOU DA-….THIS IS NOT A JOKING MATTER! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER AGAIN! I WILL NOT WITNESS ANY MORE OF THIS NONSENSE! GET YOUR BUTT IN THIS OFFICE RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN, OR SO HELP ME, I WILL GROUND YOU…
Force, his father sounded like he was about to have a heart attack or a stroke. One or the other.
"Okay, okay," he sighed, rolling his eyes, giving Mara an exasperated look and mouthed, "Later," which of course set his father off again, yelling about how he would not be doing such things with Mara ever. He ignored him.
As he turned away, Mara called out, "Luke?" He stopped, looking back at her, a questioning look on his face. Her red hair was disheveled now, and she was still flushed. "Just so we're clear-I love you, too. More than life itself." She said it seriously, but her green eyes were soft, and she smiled so prettily that Luke's heart almost stopped. How he deserved this woman in this galaxy or the last, he didn't even know. They stared at one another for a moment, before she smiled and opened the door and disappeared into her room, shutting the door, leaving Luke alone in the hallway, debating on ignoring his father and going after her anyway.
DON'T. YOU. DARE. OFFICE. NOW.
He groaned and rolled his eyes heavenward, before shaking his head, deciding his father yelling at him the entire time was enough of a mood killer, and headed up to his father's office.
"Honestly, I'm going to throw up." Anakin moaned, his head on his desk.
Padme snickered, her eyes twinkling at her husband's obvious distress, rubbing soothing circles across his back. "Just remember, Ani, he's not that much younger than we were when we got together and got married."
Force, he sometimes hated it when his wife was right.
And, that fact just made him groan louder. Don't remind me, Angel, he thought sourly. But, he finally lifted his head and looked up at his wife's smiling face, since Luke started professing his undying love for the girl. They'd been in his office discussing what happened in the Amazon, discussing what to do to get Luke to open up about issues he clearly still had (not to mention indulging in a little, uh, romantic nuzzling of their own) when suddenly Luke went from making sure Mara was okay in the hospital wing, to pouring his heart out to the girl in a way Anakin had literally never heard the boy do. He would have been impressed by the step forward his son was taking if it wasn't Mara he was romancing. Worse, when he explained why he'd broken off mid-sentence to Padme, she just laughed and thought it was cute. Cute! As if. "You're not helping, Angel. And...and...it's...Mara!"
Padme rolled her eyes, shaking her head in amusement at her husband, as if she didn't know what she was going to do with him. "For Force's sake, Ani, Luke is singleminded about the woman he wants...Just like you always were about me. Remember, Honey? He's just like his father. Besides, Mara is a really nice girl. I'm one hundred percent sure that you're just upset that our children are growing up, Sweetie. If Luke and Leia loved literally anyone, you still wouldn't approve. Now, am I wrong?" She spun her husband's chair around and bent over, placing her hands on the armrests and gave him a pointed look.
Anakin made a protesting noise. "Angel, no, I would totally be okay if Luke...I don't know...loved Ella…"
"Because she's Obi-Wan and Satine's daughter?" Padme grinned knowingly.
"No!" From the look Padme gave him, he knew she wasn't buying it. "Okay, maybe." He sighed and ran a hand through his blonde curls.
"Ok. Then name one guy you'd be okay with Leia dating." Padme demanded, a smirk firmly on her face.
Anakin immediately scowled, his cheeks turning red, and made a face. "Okay. Leia is different. No one is ever allowed to date my daughter. Not ever." He pointed his index finger at his wife to emphasize his declaration.
Padme burst out laughing and leaned down further to kiss him on the lips, even though for once, he wasn't exactly in the mood to be kissing, which admittedly was highly unusual for him. After all, he rarely wasn't in an amorous mood for his wife. Still, in his mind, kissing his wife right now just reminded him of what Luke almost did with Mara. He shuddered, and Padme pulled away.
"Ani...What would you have done if my dad had said the same thing to you about me? Hmm?," she asked him, her look still amused, and he actually growled in frustration, but shook his head and refused to admit she had him there. His wife ignored his silence and continued,
"Honey, like it or not, our babies are in the same situation that we were in when you first arrived here on Earth."
"We were in our early twenties." Anakin grumbled irritably, looking away from his wife's twinkling brown eyes.
"Yes, but the first time around, I married you when you were nineteen, remember? And, frankly, had we run into each other again sooner, I probably would have considered marrying you had you been Luke and Leia's age." She paused, making a face. "No younger than that, though. And besides, they're only three months away from being eighteen."
"But our galaxy was different. Our circumstances were different! They...they need to get out there and experience life first, not get tied down at such a young age…" he began to protest, but Padme was shaking her head, still clearly amused at her husband's protests.
"Ani, if this was Hayden we were talking about, I would totally agree with you. However, Leia remembers most of her previous life, and Luke is on his way to remembering more of it. They've experienced an entire lifetime already, and they're still married in their own minds...just like we were. Truthfully, it's not shocking that the Force is reuniting them both with the same spouses they had in our old galaxy. It did the same thing with us." She sighed, shrugging, seeing that she wasn't going to convince him. "Besides, Sweetie, the more you protest, the more you push them into doing whatever they want to do. They're teenagers-it's what they do. At least give them the proper tools and knowledge to be responsible about it, if that's what they…"
"LA LA LA LA LA!" Anakin yelped, wide-eyed and horrified at the thought of his children doing that, just as the doors to his office opened, and Luke walked in, giving him a dirty look.
"If you haven't noticed," Luke said sarcastically, "I'm not anywhere near Mara. You can stop now."
Anakin narrowed his eyes and glared at Luke. "You're grounded. Forever."
Luke calmly raised an eyebrow, looking to Padme, who again, rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Your father just wants to protect you and your siblings. It's hard for him to come to terms with the fact that you're not five anymore." Anakin shot her a glare that said they'd discuss this more later, and Padme, undeterred, gave him a look right back that said, Go ahead, you're not changing my mind. Now get over it and talk to Luke about more important issues. Anakin grumbled Huttese curses under his breath, slumping back in his chair, but he didn't protest as Padme leaned down and kissed his forehead gently, whispered she loved him in his ear, and then began to head out of the office. Before she did though, she stopped next to Luke and hugged him. Unsurprisingly, Luke hugged her back, reminding Anakin bitterly that, yet again, it wasn't Padme his son had an issue with. As she pulled away, Padme reached up and ruffled his hair and added, "But, seriously, Son. If you're going to take that step with Mara, you'd better use protection, because if you get her pregnant…"
Now, Luke was flushing, turning and looking at his father in horror. "You told Mom?!"
Anakin groaned again, rubbing his hand down his face, as Padme shrugged and said, "Of course he did. I'm his wife, after all, and he tells me everything. Besides that, I'm your mother. I'm just saying, Luke...If you're going to be sexually active, just be responsible, whatever you decide." She reached up and patted Luke on the cheek before turning and heading for the door.
When she left, Luke gave Anakin the most mortified look he'd given him since he'd watched he and Padme kissing so ardently in the kitchen. "Why? Why do you have to be so...so…."
"Embarrassing?" Anakin finished wryly, making a face. "I think I have a right to when you almost gave me a front row seat to...to whatever you were about to do with her. And, I already told you...when your mother and I do that, I shield." Anakin scowled again and gave his eldest son a pointed look.
"Well, if you taught me how to shield…"
"Oh, trust me, it's quickly climbing to the top of my 'To Do' list of things to teach you," Anakin said dryly with a shake of his head, as he stood from his desk, indicating the pod cushion seats with a wave of his hand. "But, right now, we have other things to discuss. Sit."
Thankfully, though Luke still looked annoyed and embarrassed, he sat down, giving Anakin a suspicious look as he leaned against his desk, crossing his arms. "Do you want to explain what happened out there?" he finally said after a long silence between them.
For a moment, Luke sat there, frozen, and Anakin could hear him through the Force considering what he wanted to tell him. "We were attacked by Ventress and Inquisitors. Leia, Mara, Han and Chewie did a damn good job keeping them from damaging…"
"Yeah, and you and I both know that's not what I'm talking about." Anakin interrupted briskly. Perhaps he should have waited until he'd calmed down from the Luke and Mara...incident he'd overheard, but it was clearly something that still significantly upset his son, and he was pretty sure that Luke wouldn't be able to fully transition to becoming a Jedi without facing the issue and getting past it.
He was also certain it had everything to do with Fireheart.
"Nothing happened. Everything is fine." Luke said, his voice hard and on edge, his eyes staring resolutely at the floor.
"You're lying. Not just to me, but to yourself." No. he wasn't backing down. Not this time. It wasn't just Luke's Jedi status-it was his son's own well being Anakin and Padme were concerned about. "So, I ask you again...What happened?" Anakin leaned back against his desk and crossed his arms over his chest, simply waiting for Luke to speak.
But Luke wasn't going to just up and give his secrets that he'd been keeping for so many years. "Why don't you tell me what happened?" he countered, "You froze on me there. If I hadn't been there, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't made it out alive of that inferno." He paused, and when he spoke next some of the edge had left his voice. "I saw...images. Frightening ones. Through our connection."
Anakin closed his eyes, tilted his head down, and sighed. He knew what Luke had seen. He'd seen the fire in the temple, and freaked out, remembering the horror that was Mustafar. Just as he always did. "You're right. I did lose it. And, you did snap me out of it, and I thank you for that." He admitted, opening his eyes and lifting his head to find that he'd surprised Luke. Luke had obviously expected him to refuse to divulge anything, just as he was doing to Anakin.
But, Anakin had faced his demons from his previous life, so he continued on. "I never told you or your sister the details of how I came to be in that damn suit. When I tell you this, I don't want you to think any less of your Uncle Ben, because he did what he thought was right at the time, and he and I have long since resolved things between us. But, back in our old galaxy, I'd just destroyed the Jedi Order. I'd killed everyone...including all the children in the nursery. After that, Palpatine had sent me to the planet Mustafar. I told your mother to wait for me at home at our apartment. But, your mother came to Mustafar anyway to try to bring me back to the Light, and your uncle stowed away on her ship without her knowledge. I didn't know it, but when I saw him emerge from her ship, I assumed your mother had turned against me and…" he paused, the words difficult to speak, as they always were. "I-I lashed out at your mother in anger using the Force...Your very pregnant mother. It was Obi-Wan who ordered me to let her go. I did, and she collapsed unconscious to the ground. After that, Obi-Wan and I...Well, we argued, and when it was obvious neither one of us were willing to listen to the other, we fought, saber to saber. The problem was, we fought on this planet Mustafar, which was an active volcanic planet pretty much completely covered in rivers of lava, and the facility we fought in had a melt down and...when it came to the end of the battle, when Obi-Wan had the advantage over me, I was too blinded by anger and the Dark Side, and I still tried to attack him. I made to jump over him, and he cut off my legs, and my one remaining arm, and then he left me there, lying helpless on the river bank beside the flow of lava, and he walked away, as my clothes caught fire, engulfing me in flames, and I almost burned to death."
Luke had gone pale, eyes wide with shock, mouth agape, staring at him in horror. Clearly, he hadn't expected any of that. "So, yes," Anakin finished dryly, "I may have faced my inner demons, but there are some things-like fire-that are very strong triggers for me to this day. So, I thank you for keeping me grounded in reality, because you're right, I may have died."
For a long moment, Luke said absolutely nothing, and his emotions were such a mix of horror, terror, and sadness for his father, and trying to picture what it must have been like, that Anakin couldn't really identify exactly what Luke was thinking. "You never told us those details." He finally clarified softly.
Anakin shook his head. "I just told you that I'd been badly injured, enough that I needed the suit. I didn't want you and Leia to think badly of your uncle when you were little, and I didn't want to terrify you and give you nightmares." he shrugged. "I figure you're old enough to understand now."
"I...had no idea." Luke said, his voice tight.
"And, I hope you never have to. You've gone through enough as it is." Anakin said, bringing the topic back to Luke. "When your mother died after giving birth, I thought...I thought the baby was dead, too. I had no idea at the time that it was twins. Palpatine told me she had died because I'd attacked her. And, it fueled my rage even more, and I did truly unspeakable things. Horrible things...across the galaxy. I loved...I love and adore your mom more than life itself, Luke. I'd already lost everything and everyone else I cared about, and I was terrified of losing her, you see. And, that fear of losing her is what allowed Palpatine to so easily manipulate me. He told me he knew how to save her, and that all I had to do was submit to him and be his apprentice and he would give me that knowledge. I was such a fool."
"But, I'm not ever going to join him!" Luke said hotly and with determination, a scowl on his handsome face.
Anakin nodded. "I believe you, Luke. But, that doesn't mean you can ignore what happened in your past, Son, because it will continue to fester inside you until you break, and if that happens, you may do something so wretched and evil that you can't forgive yourself for it. Even when I got to this world, and found your mother, even though I had sworn to stay in the Light, I had to learn to be willing to let her go, if it was her time to go." He paused. "Let me ask you something, Son. What would you have done had Mara died from her wound?"
Luke was silent, knowing that anything less than an honest answer was not acceptable. It was a long time before Luke finally quietly admitted, "I would have hunted down the ones responsible."
Anakin nodded knowingly. "Why?"
"Because I love her, and I don't want to lose her." Luke answered automatically, but it was only a half truth, and had Anakin not seen those visions of Luke and Fireheart, he might have missed it. So, he pressed on with his questions, probing for the truth.
"Why else? That's only part of it, Luke. I know there's more to it than just that." Again, Luke went silent, refusing to meet his eyes. "I understand that feeling, Luke. Truly, I felt the same exact way about your mother. I can't make the decision for you to move on from whatever happened, but I can help you work past this. The first step is to talk about it. If you keep this bottled up, it's just going to keep festering and building until you can't control it and you end up exploding over it. It's not healthy for you, Luke, and it will make aligning yourself in the Light that much harder if you don't let it all go."
Again, Luke was stubbornly silent, but Anakin waited patiently. It was...difficult, facing your demons. More than difficult. It could be terrifying. He knew that better than anyone else. Finally, Luke said in a tight voice, "I...can't talk about it." When Anakin opened his mouth to protest, Luke quickly added, "But, I can show you."
Anakin blinked, surprised. Honestly, for him, he would have preferred to talk it out over Luke showing his worst memories. But...he and Luke weren't the same, and he was sure the situation was probably different. So, if it made things easier, and Luke was willing to open up that way to him, then he'd accept that. So, he nodded, and Luke closed his eyes, opening up his mind to him and suddenly...he was in Luke's mind, experiencing the memory, just as he would have from Fireheart.
It was strange, being in Luke's mind instead of Fireheart's. The last he was shown from Fireheart's memories, she and Luke were just about to compete to become Palpatine's apprentice. Now, Luke was huffing hard, his body coated in sweat, and he stood, beaming at Fireheart with an almost goofy grin. "Well, look at that," He huffed, "You beat me."
Fireheart's expression was stony, and she looked at Luke with confusion in her eyes. "Only by a hair," She said softly, and as other Inquisitors came to congratulate her, she quickly leaned towards Luke and whispered, "Why did you let me win?"
Luke crossed his arms, still grinning. "I don't know what you're talking about." But, Anakin knew Luke was lying. He had a strong feeling Luke had let her win, perhaps because he didn't want the competition to tear their relationship apart. Suddenly, behind them, a screen flickered on, and Palpatine appeared on screen, smiling that stupid fake benevolent smile he'd perfected. Anakin mentally snarled when he recognized the steely fury in those golden eyes. Luke stiffened as their eyes seemed to meet, and Anakin was pretty sure Luke knew that Palpatine was fully aware of what he'd done...and he was not happy about it either. Anakin was positive that Palpatine had expected Luke, the son of Anakin Skywalker, to win and become his apprentice. It would have been the ultimate playing card against the Jedi. (and the ultimate revenge against Anakin as well)...but instead a complete nobody had won. Because Luke had allowed her to. Yes, Palpatine was furious.
The scene changed, and Luke was alone in his quarters, reading a book on battle strategy. Suddenly, his pocket vibrated, and he pulled out a simple flip phone. He frowned at the caller ID: Unknown, it said. He picked up. "Yes?" He asked tersely.
"Starkiller, it's me." Fireheart's voice was strained and tense and quiet, and Luke immediately pushed the book off his lap, leaning forward intently, as though that would make him listen harder to what she was saying.
"What is it?" He demanded, his voice harsh and serious, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I...Look I...I have something I need to tell you." Fireheart was practically whispering into the phone.
Luke relaxed marginally. "You weren't supposed to call me unless it was an emergency. I appreciate that you find me attractive enough to call while you're taking lessons from your Master, but…" Apparently, Anakin surmised, some time had passed since the day of the competition.
"This isn't the time to joke!" she snapped, but she quickly lowered her voice again. "What I need to tell you...I can't do it over the phone. I need to see you."
Luke hesitated, and Anakin could feel his worry for her safety overcoming the need to obey his orders to stay with the other Inquisitors. "Like...right now?"
"Obviously, the soonest you can get here. I'm not exactly close by." Fireheart might have sounded annoyed, but she seemed more distracted than anything else. "Come meet me in Namibia. I'm going to text you the coordinates." There was a noise on her end, and before Luke could confirm that he would do as she asked, she hastily added, "Hurry!" and the line went dead. Luke pulled the phone away from his ear, staring at it in bewilderment, and not ten seconds later the text message appeared on his phone with the coordinates Anakin easily recognized as being the destroyed base they'd found in Namibia.
The scene changed once more. It was dark, and Luke was wearing the uniform of an Inquisitor, though unlike before, he wasn't openly walking through the base. Instead, he had managed to slip inside undetected, and was ducking around corners to avoid being seen. It was strange to see the building as it once had been-pristine, with a military air to it, as if everything had order and nothing was out of place. Except Luke. There were no burned walls, shattered glass, or even a pile of burned bodies. And, just like before, when he and Leia had found that base, he had a sinking, bad feeling about where this was going.
Luke slipped down an empty hallway, moving as quickly as he could without making too much noise with his footsteps towards the room at the end of it. He grabbed the handle, and pushed it open. Anakin wished he'd be wrong about the bad feelings he got. Usually, those bad premonitions were dead on and meant an ass kicking was coming...in one form or another
Beyond that door was a sight no one should ever have to witness.
It was the room Anakin had found that had been completely torn to shreds. A conference room, but now the table and the chairs were in place, looking and smelling brand new. The windows were still intact. At the end of the table, sat Palpatine, with a fake expression of pity on his face. Beside him were two adult operatives dressed in all red, and one of them still had a gun in his hand, pointing it towards the floor…
Where Fireheart lay, gasping, as blood cascaded out of a wound in her chest.
Oh Luke, Anakin thought to his son in anguish, reaching for him through the Force to try to comfort him, but Luke ignored him, and the memory continued. "Talia!" When Luke spoke her name, it was a broken sound, filled with confusion, betrayal, and desperation, as he fell down before her, pulling her into his lap gently, his hands going to the wound to get it to stop bleeding. But of course, there was nothing he could do. Anyone could see that the wound was mortal and Talia was dying, and there would be no stopping that. "No, no, please, don't….you're going to be….Oh Force...Talia no! Stay with me!"
Anakin felt his throat close up at the pain his son had gone through in that moment.
Talia stared into Luke's eyes, as if he were her lifeline, the only person keeping her tethered to the world of the living. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, words unable to form, but finally, as she choked out, "I….love you, Luke." blood spilled from the corners of her mouth.
"So stay with me!" Luke all but shouted desperately, pressing his hands against the blood, trying to stop the constant, steady flow.
Talia's lips twitched into a sad smile, and again, she tried to talk. "Listen….your….I need to tell..." But it was too late. With a wracking cough, Talia shuddered once more, and was still, her eyes still staring into Luke's own, the life leaving them. The world seemed to stand still for Luke. He was aware of Palpatine talking, but the words were muffled, so even Anakin didn't know what the old man was saying to his devastated son. Then, abruptly…
Luke lost control. Totally lost it.
The windows shattered into millions of flying shards, and the red guards near Palpatine attempted to move to protect their master, but they were suddenly clutching their throats, unable to breathe. Empty chairs went flying, smashing into the walls, busting the chairs and knocking huge holes in the walls, the TV monitor exploded...just anything and everything in reach was destroyed. As the red guards died, Luke stood, his hands, covered in Talia's blood, were now clenched at his sides. He still stared at Talia lying lifeless at his feet for a moment, before slowly, he looked up at Palpatine.
Palpatine smiled a yellow, oh so familiar vicious smile. "Good, good," he was saying, his words clear now. "Use your anger, Luke. Let it make you stronger in the Dark Side."
"You did this." Luke's voice was low, hard, and cold as Hothan ice. Which was quite the dichotomy seeing as he was now a raging volcano of white hot fury about to explode. "You did this." He accused Palpatine.
Palpatine's smile didn't falter - nor did he deny Luke's statement. After all, Anakin knew, Luke was playing right into his evil hands. "She was a traitor, Luke. She tried to kill me."
Luke didn't even flinch. "Liar." The word was snarled and full of so much hate...Anakin was instantly reminded of himself. After he'd woken up from what was called surgery (but had actually been the most brutal butchery), after he'd been placed in that wretched suit, after he'd found out Padme had still died - despite Palpatine's assurances of the opposite - and Palpatine told him it was all his fault...he'd lashed out, too. He'd attempted to kill his master. It was only Palpatine's manipulations that got him to stop. It seemed Palpatine was now on the path to repeat history with his son.
Palpatine's smile faltered. "It's the truth, boy. She was a true Sith. Now, take her place at my side...where you were born to be."
Anakin immediately bristled at that -no son of his was born to be a Sith!-but Luke didn't even flinch. He ignited his lightsaber, breathing hard, and before Palpatine could even say a word he threw the lightsaber at him with all of his might. The red blade soared through the air towards Palpatine, guided by the Force, and the old man didn't move at all as it sliced through him...but did no damage to anything but the chair he was sitting in. Luke called the saber back to him, and again the saber arched through Palpatine's image-because that's all Palpatine was. An image.
The smile had disappeared from Palpatine's face, and he was glaring menacingly, evil practically dripping off of him and into the Force. Anakin could feel it, even in his son's memory, it was so potent. "So, that's how it is, boy." His voice was guttural as he spat the words, his tone resembling that of the voice Anakin had known from his master when he himself was Vader all those years. "What are you going to do? Run back home to your daddy? To a family that doesn't want you?!" Luke flinched but said nothing, and Anakin again wanted nothing more than to hunt down the man and kill him for what he'd done to his son. "I saved you. I gave you a home to live in. Brothers and sisters to be your comrades. I gave you a life worth living! And this is the thanks you give me?!"
Luke's grip tightened on his lightsaber, and Anakin could feel that Luke wanted nothing more than to kill the man before him. "You killed her."
"She's a traitor!"
"I don't give a damn!" Luke snarked, stalking forward, his anger rising with every step. "I swear, I will hunt you down. I don't care what slimy hole you're hiding in on this planet, I will find you, and by the Force, I will destroy you. And, I will kill anyone who gets in my way!"
For a moment, they simply stared at one another, holding each other's gaze unflinchingly. Suddenly, an alarm began to blare, though Luke seemed to have expected it. A slow smile, devoid of any humor or happiness, slithered onto Palpatine's lips, giving him a rather grotesque look. "I accept your challenge, boy." he cocked his head, as if Luke were an interesting piece of art rather than an enraged enemy who had just sworn to kill him. "I look forward to our next meeting, young Skywalker." And, the image of Palpatine flickered out.
The scene changed. Luke was cutting down Inquisitor after Inquisitor, the Dark Side of the Force fully at his command, allowing him to kill with little to no resistance. Luke didn't seem to care. He seemed lost, not quite there, as if he were killing just to do something to keep his mind off of what had happened to Talia. Anakin understood this all too well. He himself had gone on a killing spree after learning of Padme's and the child's (supposed) death-that ultimately lasted two decades, but it had been especially bad immediately after Padme's death. So much so, Palpatine had to remind him that he couldn't rule a galaxy full of dead men. But while he understood this, to understand that his son had gone through it too….and at such a young age, to know that it still haunted him…
Anakin wanted to weep.
Luke burst into the last room. There was one Inquisitor standing there, shaking, barely able to hold her lightsaber. Behind her was a small group of children, no more than five. Anakin didn't know what it was that stopped him, but Luke came to an abrupt halt, the lightsaber still humming in his hand. He and the other Inquisitor stared at one another. "Please," she whispered, and the kids peeked out at Luke from behind her. Again, Anakin was reminded of the younglings in the Jedi temple, and he prayed that Luke hadn't followed him on this, too. Those deaths of the Temple younglings haunted him the most-he didn't want Luke to go through that, too.
But, though Luke didn't disengage his lightsaber, he stepped aside. "Get. Out." His voice was almost unrecognizable. The Inquisitor didn't need to be told twice. Quickly, she herded the terrified children out of the room, and soon the sound of their footsteps disappeared down the hallway. Anakin almost slumped over in relief. His son had done what he hadn't...Luke had spared the younglings. This gave Anakin great hope for his son.
The scene changed one last time. The base was in flames, utterly destroyed. Anakin had seen the pile of bodies. He knew that Luke had dragged them into one massive pile before setting the place on fire. But, Luke didn't care. He had other things on his mind...specifically, the funeral pyre he had just built, had just laid Talia's stiff, cold body onto. It looked like he'd tried to clean her up, tried to make her look like she hadn't just been shot in the chest...but Luke wasn't a doctor or a mortician, and it wasn't that great of a job. Still, Anakin couldn't even imagine….if he'd had to prepare Padme for burial...he hadn't even had to go to her funeral. He only seen it on holovid broadcasts. It would have literally killed him to do what Luke had obviously done, but somehow, Luke was still standing. His fortitude was amazing...either that or he was in shock.
He didn't move to light the pyre. He just stared, as if staring at her would somehow bring her back. But finally, Luke moved forward, a lighter in his hand. "I'm so sorry, Talia." When Luke spoke, he sounded so broken, so defeated, so heartbroken, and Anakin's heart broke, too. "I should have….I shouldn't have let you win. This is all my fault. But, I swear, I will avenge you." He still didn't move, for a very long time, and Anakin realized there were tears falling freely down Luke's face. Finally, he raised a shaking hand, and lit the pyre, giving Talia the traditional funeral of a Jedi, whether Luke knew that or not.
Luke suddenly closed off his mind, or as much of it as he currently could, and out of respect, Anakin immediately withdrew. Luke was not looking at him, but at his clenched his hands, his expression set firmly as neutral as possible. It didn't fool Anakin, not in the least. "I knew...some of that," he admitted slowly, "But not...oh Luke…"
"I don't want your pity." It wasn't said in anger, more quiet defeat.
"I know." Anakin shook his head. "There aren't...there just aren't words to make that grief go away. Only time can ease the pain."
Luke was silent for a long time. Then, "Did it...did losing Mom...did it ever…?"
"Never." Anakin admitted. "A lot of what you did...I did the same thing. Except I didn't spare children." He paused. "I didn't have anything to live for. So, I killed indiscriminately, whenever it suited my needs or whenever Palpatine ordered me to. I accepted that the rest of my life would be like that. It wasn't until I found out that you had survived that things changed. I was still a monster...but I suddenly had someone I cared about again. Eventually, loving you is what saved me from the Dark Side. You were my hero, Luke, and I will always be grateful for that."
Luke nodded, still staring down at his hands. "Things...things are better. Now that...I know the truth. And, I'm home with you guys." He admitted, "But if I'm honest, I still blame her death on myself. If I hadn't decided to let her win…"
"Why did you let her win?" Anakin asked curiously.
Luke shrugged. "I wanted her to be happy. And she...well, she really seemed to want to become Palpatine's apprentice."
Even when Luke was supposed to be a Sith, he could never truly be one. At heart, his son was a good person. Anakin had to thank his lucky stars for that. "He would have killed her anyway. Or worse, he would have made you do it. You do realize this, don't you?" he said bitterly, thinking, yet again, how Palpatine used Padme's death to keep control over him.
Luke slowly nodded. "Yeah. I figured that asshole would do something like that. But, it doesn't…"
"Make the feeling go away." Anakin nodded. "I know. I still have nightmares about Mustafar, the Jedi Temple. About all of it."
Luke slowly looked up at him, as if re-considering his father. "Me, too."
"You don't deserve this. I wanted...I wanted you to have the best childhood this time around." Anakin said. "I wish...I wish I could make it all go away. You know, you used to come to me whenever you were upset, and it was so easy to make you happy again. But this time...I can't make you happy. I can do my best to help you, of course,...but only you can decide to be happy, my son. But Luke...you need to let go of your anger." Luke opened his mouth to protest, but Anakin was already ahead of him, and held up a hand to signal him to be quiet. "I know it's easy to say that, another matter to actually do it. But, even when we do find Palpatine and kill him, if you do it in anger...Palpatine wins. The Sith wins. Killing someone in anger...taking revenge...it's not the Jedi way. It's the way of the Sith. And, no one knows this better than I do. Yes, he's pure evil, and he needs to die...but I also killed a Sith before I joined the Dark Side. His name was Count Dooku. He was a former Jedi who turned to the Dark Side. He wasn't a good man either, and he'd caused so much pain and misery in the Clone Wars...He and I and Obi-Wan fought, and he'd cut off my own hand...but later, I killed him in anger, slicing his head off at Palpatine's urging, I might add. And, that action set me further away from the Light than I already was." he shook his head. "You're already so much like me in so many ways. Don't make my mistakes, Luke. Please. I don't want to lose you again."
Luke still looked at him, absorbing his words. "I still want to kill him. I hate him."
"I know."
"I can't just...suddenly decide to change that."
"It's not easy, no. But, you can. I did, when I betrayed my master for you. To protect you. To save you." Anakin replied. "Look at it this way...It's not about not wanting him to die, because he does need to die. He's the single most dangerous person on this planet, not just to us, but to the whole world. Rather, it's about your motivations for it. Killing for revenge is using the Dark Side. Killing to protect and defend those that are innocent, that is using the Light Side. Understand?"
Luke hesitated but then nodded slowly. "I guess...it makes sense."
Anakin nodded. "It won't happen overnight. But, you're already progressing well in so many ways. Be patient with yourself, Luke. Give it...give yourself...time. I believe in you."
He felt Luke's presence calm. There was still anger and hurt and guilt, but...he was calm again. "Thanks, Dad. I'm...glad I told you. Well, showed you," he paused. "Even if you are super weird about Mara. Why is that, by the way?"
Anakin immediately made a face. "Let's just say, we were rivals before, and leave it at that," he said with a scowl, remembering what he'd literally almost just witnessed in his mind before this conversation.
"Ok. Now. Let's talk about shielding. Hmm..."
Luke smirked at his father's obvious continuing discomfort from earlier, "Yeah, Dad. Let's do. After all, I don't wanna know about you and Mom going at it, and I sure as hell don't want you to find out when Ma-..."
Anakin's face flamed hot again and he growled, 'NOT. ANOTHER. WORD. YOU ARE NOT GOING THERE WITH HER! YOU HEAR ME?"
Luke smirked, "Riiiiight, Dad...Sure. Whatever. So, about that shielding..."
Laughter rang out across the office, as Anakin sputtered and huffed and finally howled in utter frustration. At that moment, across the Force, rang out the voice of a very amused Jedi Grandmaster, "Give it up, Anakin! The apple didn't fall far from the tree here. You were just as bad about Padme at his age, may I remind you...You'll never win this one, y'know."
Anakin just huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, and scowled, muttering what sounded suspiciously like, "Oh, be quiet, Chicken Man," under his breath.
There was another pause before a quietly amused voice said, "Cluck, Cluck."
And, Luke laughed all the harder, covering his mouth to try to stop it. He remembered hearing all about his Uncle Ben's Halloween costume. Not amused, Anakin growled, "It's on now, Obi-Wan."
Now laughing outright with Luke, Ben's reply was mocking, "Well, you'll have to mooooove fast to do it, Anakin!"
"Shut up, Ben," was the only irritated reply.
Much to Anakin's annoyance, laughter continued at a near deafening rate for quite some time.
That chapter went from one extreme emotion to the next. But I'm glad that the truth of what happened at Namibia is finally fully out, and Luke's full motivations are revealed. Oh, and Mara and Luke are obviously suuuuper into each other. I wrote that scene in public...and I couldn't stop giggling. I looked like a crazy person. But that's okay. XD
The song for this chapter is Rue's Farwell, from the Hunger Games. Always a powerful piece of music.
Also. I got a cat. Her name is Queen Amidala. Or Ami for short. She's adorable, and is appropriately named, for she now rules over my apartment. All hail the queen.
Review!
Love,
Sarah
