After Sephiroth had revealed the truth about what had happened to them, to her, about what beast lent her it´s superhuman powers as well as her inhuman behavior, Lightning felt like shit.

Now that she understood what had triggered the strange character changes she had observed over the past few weeks, she feared the monster inside of her to take over any second these days.

And there was more. After what he had gotten her into, she felt like she couldn´t talk to her former mentor anymore. Shit, she couldn´t even look at him anymore.

Almost unable to find any sleep at all she kept roaming the Shin-Ra headquarters by night, but it weren't anymore the training rooms she frequented, no. She found herself drawn back again and again to the Shin-Ra research library. Ended up there spending night after night, browsing all the archieves and reading up on her Jenova cells, drawn towards finding the truth.

There was not exactly much to find. Medical studies and old research papers mostly. Filled with tons and tons of stuff she couldn't even begin to understand. Still. One thing she understood for sure. The jenova cells inside her body were controlling her to some extend, explaining her subtle change of character, her aggressions, her coldheartedness, her sudden primal urge for violence. They could take over control completely if she would only let them. But they could also be controlled if she was smart about it, if she kept herself in check.

She guessed she could have lived with that.

But there was more.

There was the reunion theory. Reading up on the subject researched by none other than professor Hojo, Lightning learned that Jenova cells, once seperated, would always seek to reunite, to return to the main body even. That they could influence the minds of creatures they had been implanted in to do so.

The thought of it made Claire Farron shudder.

Was this the reason she felt so drawn towards Sephiroth again?!

She had thought she'd overcome her feelings for him, hadn't she?

She had.

She had managed to stop caring about him, had managed to stop mooning over him, had managed to quelch her ridiculous feelings for him alltogether. And then suddenly. After her coma, it had all came crushing back again.

Had made her crave him so badly on the top of the Shin-Ra heli pad that she had almost lost her mind and kissed him, would have done so probably, had Genesis not interfered.

It had been such a powerful feeling back than, such a powerful urge, a pull really that had towed her towards him. Something she hadn't been able to explain to herself back then but now, suddenly all of it made sense.

This had been jenova's doing. Had been her jenova cells, craving the reunion with his own.

The thought of it was sending tiny shivers down her spine.

Back then she hadn't even realised, would neer have fathomed.

If she couldn't even tell the difference, how was she supposed to differentiate between Jenova's and her own wants? How was she supposed to know how much of her actions were her own and how much her alien alter ego's?

No. It was impossible.

Sometimes she didn't even know where her own self ended and Jenova began. It all seemed to melt into each other. Especially when they were close, especially when she was close to him.

Where those feelings she had developed for him again coming from Jenova exclusively? An evil extra terrestrial lifeform pulling the strings inside her body, inside her mind? Suddenly she wasn´t able to distinguish where the `her´ ended and Jenova began, felt their entities fuse inside of her, felt herself merging with the spirit of a cold blooded alien monster that had come to wipe out the planet and all the life on it thousands of years ago.

It wasn´t exactly a very comforting thought.


Once the Wutai war had ended for good, which all of them (even Cloud) had miraculously managed to survive, Shin-Ra had sent them on vacation. Everything at the companies expense of course, to Costa del Sol, to Lightning´s great dismay.

After only shortly having found out about what had happened to her there back on Valentine's day, she so wasn´t eager to return to the place where all of this had actually begun.

Still, Shin-Ra insisted on them taking some time off from trying to get themselves killed for once and who was she to disobey their orders.

They made it look like a break for recreation, or like a reward or something, but the pink haired warrior could see straight through their bullshit.

She could see what it really was about.

Now that they didn´t need them anymore, they wanted them out of the way.

Especially Sephiroth and her.

They had created dangerous bloodthirsty beasts and now that they couldn´t feed them anymore, as in provide them with suitable opponents or tasks, they were afraid they might turn against them.

At least that was what she thought.

And somehow she could not blame them.

She herself felt like loosing it any second.

Anyway she wasn´t sure she would return to HQ again once they´d ask them to return. No. She wasn´t sure at all. She had learned something in this last battle, or rather in the hours that had followed afterwards. When she had had her private talk with Sephiroth. When finally she had returned to the battlefield. Or rather what was left of it, a cemetery. When she had seen them lying there, all those people, dead people, innocents, caught up in Shin-Ra's world domination plans.

She had killed some of them with her bare hands. Victims of a war they´d emerged from victorious, them meaning Shin-Ra. And it was then that she realized something. Something important.

Their enemies were only people. People who wanted different things.

Maybe the things she wanted didn´t correlate with Shin-Ra´s goals anymore either.

Lightning didn´t know where all these thoughts were coming from.

She couldn´t remember since when there suddenly were things she wanted, where they had come from or what they were exactly. But she knew one thing for sure. They weren´t the goals of Shin-Ra.

Not anymore.

That company sucking the lifestream out of the planet, draining it of the source of all living things, it didn´t take a genius to understand that this was the wrong thing to do.

She might have blamed Shin-Ra for becoming a monster. Or Hojo. Or even Sephiroth. But no...

Fighting in a war against those who actually stood up to stand in the companies' way, to put an end to those who were actually killing their planet... By choosing to stand on Shin-Ra´s side she had branded her a monster herself. With or without Jenova. She might have been implanted with those alien cells against her will at some point, true, but she guessed she had become a monster a long time before that.

Now that finally she understood, she wanted nothing more than to abandon Shin-Ra. She wanted to leave. But where to?

There was no place for her to go anymore. No safe place for anyone like her.

Of course she had been thinking about returning to Bodhum. To visit Serah. But then again... Her sister seemed to get along well without her, didn´t she?

She didn´t need her anymore.

She had found somebody else to care for her. That Snow guy. Or whatever his name was.

And it was a good thing too. With that alien killer thing slumbering in her insides, Lightning wasn't exactly sure she wanted to go back to Serah, wasn't sure she wanted to endanger her like that.

No. Her sister would be better off if she stayed away forever. If she thought her dead.

In a way she was dead anyway.

The Lightning from her past had died. A tiny little bit with every day she'd stayed in SOLDIER. Had left this world entirely on that fatal day in Costa del Sol.

All that was left of her now was the degenerated monster. With an even worse degenerated monster slumbering in her insides.

No. There was no returning to Bodhum.

Lightning didn´t feel welcome there anymore. Shedidn´t belong there anymore.

No.

She would stay here. Stay with Shin-Ra and willingly accept her fate. The fate of a monster. Whatever that was going to be.

Spending most of her time in Costa del Sol indoors, brooding, avoiding to go down to the beach at all costs, the pink haired first class had wasted another day of that awesome holiday in her room in the inn.

It was already dinner time when she ventured down the stairs to find some of the others gathered around a table where Zack and Angeal where apparently engaged in a round of arm wrestling.

She was relieved to notice that Sephiroth was not among them.

Somehow she still could not look him in the eye. And her recent revelations in the Shin-Ra library, they had not exactly helped that fact either.

No. No matter what her abominated alien cells wanted, she'd rather never lay eyes on the silver haired first class ever again.

Reaching the end of the staircase it was only mildly interested that she approached her comrades' table to watch Angeal almost break Zack´s arm.

Zack would do good to visit the gym more frequently, she thought, then again Angeal wasn´t exactly a weakling.

'Yeah! Hey Cloud you owe me 100 Gil!' came Genesis´s triumphant voice.

He was holding out his hand for Cloud to pay his betting depts asap.

'Hmpf... There you go...' Blondie replied disappointedly, only reluctantly handing over the coins.

'What´s wrong with you Zack?! I counted on you!' he accusingly turned to the pup, who ignoring his comrade was busy nursing his swollen arm.

'Hey Light! Wanna try your luck against me?' Cloud finally asked, waving her over.

Claire Farron only gave a snort.

Even the thought of it was hilarious.

She could probably defeat him with only her pinky finger.

'For your own safety I must decline.' she said, earning giggles from around the room.

She caught Angeal scowling at her, though.

Oh yeah... Of course... He knew.

'Oh come on, Light! You´re only scared!' Cloud challenged, looking over at her expectantly.

His pink haired comrade just rolled her eyes at him and made her way over to the kitchens to find something to eat.

Emerging from the kitchen door with a bowl of soup and a piece of bread a minute later, she made to sit on one of the tables alone to take her dinner. She was not left to herself for long though, her two favorite comrades placing themselves into chairs next to her as soon as she started to eat.

'What´s up, Light? You´ve been sulking around ever since we got here. This gotta stop now.' Cloud began.

She could see where this was supposed to lead to and was already tired of it.

Those two had of course caught up on her bad mood, everybody had, and their attempts to cheer her up did do nothing but make her angry.

Of course they couldn´t understand. How could they?! And she certainly couldn´t tell them. She´d rather have died than let them find out. Than let anybody find out really. It was bad enough that Angeal knew.

Also talking about it would hardly change anything, right?

Right.

She didn´t want to talk anyway.

She just wanted to be left alone.

She just wanted to have time to herself. Time to think. Time to retake control.

'Hey if it´s because of what happened to you here back then... Don´t worry! Zack and I are going to protect you! We won´t leave your side, promise!' Cloud Strife assured her.

Looking over at Zack, Lightning caught his puppy eyes studying her features carefully.

She could tell he was already guessing that this wasn´t about the attack on the shore, but something else entirely, something far more important. And he was right of course.

It was preposterous anyway.

She had fought in a war against hordes of wutai fighters. Did Cloud really think that the memory from the beach could scare her into hiding inside her room all day?

Yes. Cloud Strife was clueless. But Zack Fair already suspected something was off.

She could see it in those sky blue eyes.

At least he was decent enough not to voice his suspicions in front of the others.

Thanks, Zack.

'You know, you really shouldn´t hide in your room all day, you´re going to sleep all of your holiday away!' Cloud adviced her comradely.

'Come on, you could at least join us for the fight tonight!' he coaxed.

Fight?!

The casually spoken word, it made something in Claire Farron snap awake.

'Just leave it Cloud, let´s not bother her...' Zack said, getting up from his chair again. Her eyes searching his curiously, Lightning could tell he was trying to save her from Cloud´s persuasion skills. He of all people knew best how much she hated to be persuaded to do something. But she stopped her friend mid action.

'No wait! What fight?' she asked.

The notion of said fight, it had piqued her curiosity.

'There´s a fight at that club tonight.' Zack Fair explained somewhat unenthusiastically.

'Yes... At the fight club! You really should come, it will be great! Rumor has it Genesis is planning on challenging Sephiroth again!' Cloud babbled excitedly.

Sephiroth.

Claire Farron felt a surge of anger at the mention of his name. Felt a flare of hope, coming from her abominated cells inside.

That haughty bastard.

She still couldn´t forgive him. Wasn´t sure she ever would. Wasn´t sure she could ever talk to him again or look into his eyes in the first place, Jenova cells or not.

Still... The mentioning of her former mentor, it hadn't quelched her interest the prospect of upcoming bloodshed had stirred up inside of her. Or at least not the one of the beast inside.

'A fight club?' she asked, feigning interest in the location and hoping her facial expression hadn´t given anything away.

'Yeah it´s called Club Duel!' Cloud explained.

There was a fight club in Costa del Sol?!

Lightning figured she really hadn´t come around much...

'A very creative name for a fight club...' she deadpanned.

'Oh come on! That duel between Genesis and Sephiroth, it will be legendary! You can´t miss it!' Cloud Strife pouted.

Maybe he was right.

In fact she had spent most of her days locked away in her room, sulking around while the others were relaxing at the beach. Mixing with people again might do her some good after all.

But somehow she didn´t want to come along.

She somehow felt out of place, felt out of place a lot recently. No matter where she went exactly.

Still.

It was shortly after dinner that she joined the others at the fight club. She sure needed some entertainment and a change of scenerey. And what better place for that than Club Duel?

She was sitting on a stool at the bar between Cloud and Zack, only half heartedly watching Sephiroth beat up some local guy, some legend called `the king´, feigning interest in her drink while her thoughts kept wandering back to their talk in the woods and the information she had gathered there.

She was only mildly interested in her former mentor´s current fight. Those local people where no match for him. Of course. It was like watching a human fight an ant.

It wasn´t fair.

He wasn´t even human to begin with.

Swallowing hard she bitterly remembered herself that she wasn´t either.

Was a monster, just like him.

That piece of information, it would definitely take her some time to getting used to, some time for her to let it all sink in.

Still...

Sephiroth...

Once the fight was over she could see that stupid triumphant smirk on his face again.

She wanted nothing more than to wipe it away with one of her fists.

Earning applause from the crowd she watched the silver haired man roll his neck in order to relax the muscles in his neck and shoulders while some guys carried the former 'king' out of the ring and through the back door.

The commentator, a fat old balding man, turned to the gathered people then:

'Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have a new king among us this evening! Is there anybody out there who dares to challenge this guy?!'

For a moment there was silence and Lightning wondered whether there would actually be anybody foolish enough to take him on after they had just witnessed him flattening the local champion.

Now, who would be stupid enough to do that?

'You can bet on that!' came Genesis Rhapsodos´s ready voice.

Right. She had underestimated Genesis´s recklessness.

Cloud was right after all. The redhead was indeed having a death wish again.

She just mentally face palmed herself at this display of absolute stupidity.

The everlasting tension between those two had only intesified after their last fight in the simulation training room and somehow Lightning couldn't help but think that somehow the redhead didn't seem to give up anytime soon.

Somehow the pink haired female wondered whether he would ever learn his place.

She heard Angeal groan in frustration as hesitantly he got up to his feet, ready to support his friend, or rather prevent any fatal outcomes yet again, while the crowd cheered in excitement.

Lightning only rolled her eyes. Genesis... Couldn´t he ever get enough?

Would Sephiroth ever cease to enjoy beating up people?

Would someone ever show him it was wrong?

Would someone ever show him what it felt like?

Being humiliated, teased and tortured. All those things combined, and in front of other people too?

There was only one way to make sure. Only one person who could actually make it happen.

Seizing her opportunity, the pink haired first class brought her glass to her lips and downed it´s contents all at once. The drink Cloud had bought for her only a few minutes ago burning her throat like acid, she got up on her feet.

Hell, she definitely needed something strong to survive this.

Abandoning her friends at the counter without explanation, Claire Farron pushed her way through the crowd towards the ring.

She had been watching that bastard beat up others all evening, had watched him disemboweling people all her life, and the rage that had been constantly boiling inside of her for the past few days had finally reached a critical threshold.

Yes. There definitely was a limit to how much of Sephiroth´s bullshit she could bear and she definitely wouldn´t let him flatten Genesis and Angeal in front of the gathered crowd.

No. Not again.

No way.

He had always been teasing her about how weak and pathetic she was. Had been teasing her for being human really. But fighting someone who was clearly inferior when it came to power or strength, showing off his supremacy like that, misusing the inhuman powers he had gained from his sick alien mother residing inside his body in what obviously was a totally unfair way, that really sounded pathetic to her.

No, she wouldn´t let him win this time.

Wouldn't let him get away with it forever.

And there was more.

The silver haired first class had to pay.

Had to pay for what he'd done to her.

Tonight the moment of judgement had come.

It was the moment of retribution.

Her insides burning with rage, the pink haired first class finally reached the middle of the room where Sephiroth was already getting ready for his next fight.

His back turned to her, he was making to take off his coat again.

Yeah you´d better prepare yourself for this one, she thought, not bothering to contain her temper anymore as she pushed her way towards the center of the crowd.

She reached Genesis and Angeal just before they had time to even enter the ring.

She didn´t stop to explain. Didn't even care too. They wouldn't understand anyway.

Well... Maybe Angeal would have.

It didn't matter.

'Let me handle this.' she simply told them, as she brushed past them and towards the ring.

'Hey! Wha- ' Genesis started to protest, probably insistent on having himself beaten to pieces, but Angeal Hewely thankfully held him back.

Yes. Angeal understood indeed. Understood what she had to do.

Also he had probably seen enough fights between his two friends to last him a lifetime. Knew that nothing good would come of it.

Making her way past them and the gathered crowd Lightning entered the ring herself.

Putting away Blaze Edge she readied herself to confront the new champion with her fists only, the crowd going berserk at seeing a girl enter against the new 'king'.

She didn´t care for becoming a champion though.

Not at all.

That was not what she had entered for.

The only thing she cared for was that boiling rage burning her insides and to set it free.

The look on Sephiroth´s face was priceless when finally he turned around to find her instead of their comrades, ready to fight against him.

Yeah... You´d better be scared, Claire Farron thought.

She detected worry and also sadness in his mako gaze. It were two things she didn't really care about.

Safe your tears for later, she snarled in her head instead.

You´ll need them.

Feeling the fury that had been pent-up over the past week inside of her boil over she gave the man who´d been her mentor for so many years one of her own derisive smirks and not even bothering to wait for the gong to go off, she attacked.

Like a dangerous dog bred for nothing but fighting finally taken from its leash she charged forward.

Knowing that he held no advantage over her anymore, knowing that she had received the same enhancements as he had, knowing that they were both monsters carved from the same tree, there suddenly was no respect, no fear, no nerves holding her back this time.

For the first time in a fight they were equal and Lightning didn´t care to keep that fact a secret anymore, didn't bother playing small.


It was a strange foreign feeling, fighting someone whose powers matched his own for once.

The lights in the room blinding, the voices in the crowd, calling, yeeling, whistling, deafening his ears, General Sephiroth Crescent barely managed to block his former student´s attacks as her fists rained down on him relentlessly.

He could see the rage in her eyes.

The anger.

The hatred.

The fury.

Yes.

She clearly hadn´t forgiven him. Not even in the slightest. Didn't seem like bothering to even try, not in the next few centuries at least.

General Sephiroth Crescent found he couldn't blame her, felt unable to hit back.

Unable to defend himself for once, the silver haired man opted for dodging her attacks instead.

He definitely wouldn´t hurt her anymore. He just couldn´t. No way.

Remembering those times in the past when he had actually hit her, when he had in fact beaten the hell out of her, he couldn´t help but feel like a piece of shit.

It hadn´t been something that had happened only a few times either.

No.

There was no excuse.

He didn´t know how often she had been down to the hospital to get some of her wounds stitched after one of their training sessions. How often she´d visited Angeal or Zack to patch her up.

Far too often, that much was for certain.

He hadn´t cared back then. He had been a complete asshole. But there was no way he could change what had happened now, was there?

No there wasn't.

What had happened had happened, and he had no choice but to accept the actions of his past, no matter how much he regretted them. Had no choice but to endure the bill he now received for them.

He was restored to his old strenght. The mako shot he had admistered to himself after he had woken up again on the cold hard tiles of his first class appartment bathroom had made sure of that.

Still. None of his strenght, his speed, his stamina, could safe him from the relentless hammer of justice, the merciless volley of fists that was Lightning's revenge on him.

There was no escape from her. No escape from the truth. No escape from his own feelings of remorese, of self-hatred.

And there was no reason to hope either, no reason to delay the inevitable.

'I can't believe that you've been doing this all the time. That you've been doing this to us.' the fierce warrioress in front him spat.

General Sephiroth Crescent coudln't help but feel taken aback.

What the fuck was she talking about?

'The only reason you were stronger all that time, was because you were a monster.' his counterpart elaborated.

It made the silver haired first class swallow hard.

'You are a monster and you are abusing your powers. You used it to beat me up. You were using it to beat Genesis, you are using it against your friends.'

The silver haired first class standing in front of her, hands brought up to guard his face he couldn't help but stare.

'Lightning...' he tried somewhat tentatively, slitted mako eyes looking at her emploringly.

'Do they even know?' the pink haired female barked.

Sephiroth only stared. Stared at the woman with the fierce blue eyes, the wild pinkish hair and the angry tight set mouth.

When the fuck had she become so angry, so cruel, so fierce?

Suddenly he couldn't remember.

'Light...'

Reaching out for her tentatively, the woman infront him pushed him back violently. He stumbled backwards a few strides, looked back at her troubled, worried really.

'Do they even know?!' her voice lashed out at him, followed by one of her steely fists directed at his nose, he mangaed to dodge only narrowly.

'They do...' he stammered somewhat aghast at her sudden outburst.

That fist of her, it would have broken his nose easily.

'Lightning... We are the same you and I.'

It was the exact wrong thing to say. Only served to aggavate her further.

'No we are not.' she snapped at him.

'All those years you've been abusing us. Me. Genesis. Angeal. You've used your powers against us. I would never do that.'

It made General Sephiroth Crescent emit a ridiculed snort.

'Is that so?' he contered quickly.

'Who beat up their comrade in the training room only recently?'

There was silence for a bit.

'Who broke Zack's nose, Lightning?'

There was a tiny pause. Followed by her worst assault yet.

The silver haired first class had a hard time keeping his balance.

There were a few close calls.

Still. His opponent didn't land a single hit.

'That was an accident.' the pink haired female finally brought out.

It made Sephiroth arch his brows.

'An accident?' he said incredulously.

It made Claire Farron look up aghast.

The silver haired first class seized his chance.

Moving closer to her he looked deep into her ice blue eyes.

'You cannot sleep at night, you hear them breathe throught he walls of your bedroom. You feel their warmth , their pulse, their heartbeat. You want to rip them, tear them apart with your bare hands. You feel hatred. Uncontrollable hatred. Rage. And there is more.'

It was Lightning's time to swallow now.

He was right of course. Had been right all along.

'There's that urge you can't quite grasp, cannot explain. The urge to fight to kill, to destroy. There are voices. Voices in your head telling you to do just that. You think you are loosing your mind. It's taking control of you. You fear youre going to snap that you might do something horrible. You know that it will happen, that it's just a question of when and you …'

The murderous glare she was giving him was stopping him midsentence.

Maybe he had said too much.

Feeling another row of fists approaching with the speed of light he quickly made to backpedal.

'I know what it feels like.' he told her straight out.

'You have to overcome it. You have to learn to control it. To have it work for you, not against you.' he quickly added at an afterthought.

'I could help you.' he tried to appease her.

'I could teach you.'

The woman there in front, full of hatred, full of spite, she only shook her head, icy blue eyes narrowing now dangerously.

'No. Your times as my teacher are over. You've taught me enough.' she spat determinedly before she resumed her attack again.

'Ligthning, I am not your enemy.'

She seemed to see it differently.

Her fists lashing out at him again and again, after some time of dodging and blocking, the silver haired man let his fists drop, let his arms fall to his sides.

There was no use in defending himself anyway.

There was no way to get out of this.

He deserved this. Every piece of it. And he was not the kind of person to run from his responsibilities. The kind of person to hide from their mistakes.

No. He would face his former apprentice's wrath, would do so with open eyes.

Better to get it over with, he figured, as not making a move to defend himself whatsoever, he just stared at the woman in front of him, electrifying blue eyes ablaze with rage as she readied herself to attack again.

There was not even the tiniest sparkle of mercy there, no pity, no hesitation, only hatred, as bracing himself for the impact of her fist, he let her take out her anger on him, allowed her next blow to hit it´s target.

Her fist connecting with his yaw hard, General Sephiroth Crescent felt his teeth jam shut, registered the metallic taste of blood on his tongue,

It definitely wasn´t something he was used to.

He didn´t bother to counter though. He found he didn´t care.

He knew he deserved this. Every second of this. Every blow. And he only tried to stand still and swallow the pain as she kept hitting him, her fists raining down on him again and again, impacting with his face, his arms, his chest, his abdomen. The fact that he didn´t fight back making her attack him even more aggressively, it seemed.

Fighting the urge to close his eyes, the silver haired general forced them open to look into her's. Those perfect slightly slitted pupils, those icy blue eyes he loved to look at so much.

They were filled with so much rage and hatred now that it hurt. Hurt on a whole different level than her lashing fists couldn't even begin to reach.

He knew there was no way she could ever forgive him for what he had done to her. No way those eyes would ever look at him with respect or even care again.

But he didn´t really regret his actions either.

Everything he´d done back then he´d done to safe her.

He´d definitely do it again.

He´d rather she hated him until the end of time than to know her dead.

He guessed she had never really liked him in the first place.

And he couldn´t blame her for that either.

He had pushed her away from the first second. He had treated her like scum from the very beginning. Had hurt her like a million times.

He had tried not to get too attached to her.

He really hadn´t given her much reason to like him. Ever.

Still...

It was the sound of the gong, signaling that time was up, that finally, after what seemed hours of relentless beating, saved him from his comrade's wrath. Or rather Zack and Angeal who no doubt aghast at their behavior tried to pull their pink haired friend away from him.

There was no applause for the two of them. Everybody was just staring on in shock.

Wiping the blood from his face General Sephiroth Crescent looked up to meet his former students´s gaze. Her eyes trained on his in a murderous glare, he knew she was still ready to scratch his eyes out, ready to rip his guts.

Somehow he was surprised she hadn't done it.

He had let her free reign.

Holding on to the railing for support he realized he had a hard time staying on his feet. His face throbbing from her constant onslaught, blood dripping down from his mouth and onto his chest, he felt his upper arms and chest bruising, felt his abdomen cramp up helplessly.

The pink haired first class, she'd beaten him up for good.

The pain, a buzzing current in the distance, he realized he just felt empty and sad inside.

How had he managed to make the only person he had ever had feelings for hate him like that? To the point that she´d actually be happy to kill him without even batting an eyelid?!

Fuck... He really was only good for one thing, he figured.

That thing he was paid for.

That thing he suddenly didn´t want to do anymore.

No.

He didn´t want to fight anymore.

Not even a single time.

Holding his protesting abdomen, fighting to stay on his feet, he only watched on numbly as they dragged his former student away.

The pink haired soldier still seething with rage, they were having a hard time forcing her away from him and out of the ring, out of his view.

Breathing heavily the silver haired first class slowly made to leave the ring too.

Looking around the room he caught Genesis leaning against the wall, watching with a smug expression on his face.

Yes. He had probably enjoyed to see his comrade taking some hits for once. This probably was one of the best days of his life.

All the other people looking at him as though he had sprouted extra heads, he slowly made his way over to the bar and ordered double shots.

He could really do with something strong now.


After Zack and Angeal had dragged her out of the ring and away from her former mentor and managed to somewhat calm her down, Lightning went straight to the bathroom.

Splashing her face with ice cold water she slowly regained her senses as ridding her hands from that bastard´s blood she washed up in the small sink.

Looking at herself in the cracked dirty mirror she could feel her rage ignite anew.

That bastard hadn´t even put up a fight!

Somehow it annoyed her to no end.

Still fuming uncontrollaby, she went out onto the porch in front of the club and took a seat on the cozy porch swing.

Trying to relax, to somewhat get herself together, she let the peaceful scenery calm her tortured mind.

Eventhough she would have loved to right now, she found she didn´t dare take a walk on the beach alone.

Maybe she wasn't such a tough killer machine after all...

Nursing her swollen and bruised knuckles, she pensively looked into the distance instead.

Concentrating on using her Jenova powers to heal her tormented hands, or at least to try and mend the pain, she quickly gave it a try, but it was no use.

He was right, she really couldn´t do it.

Her former mentor...

Of course again he was ahead of her, superior.

He had always been.

Would always be.

It made the pink haired female give one of her frustrated sighs.

She could always go back inside and ask him to help her out of course but she guessed she´d rather have died than do that right then.

No she´d definitely never ask him for help ever again. No way.

She didn´t need him. She definitely didn´t.

'Are you okay?' she suddenly heard Zack´s voice from behind her.

Not caring to turn around, Claire Farron simply noded.

She wasn't sure whether she could trust herself to speak.

Her comrade approaching her on cautious feet, she could see concern in his sky blue eyes.

'May I?' he asked somewhat carefully before he chose to take a seat next to her on the porch swing.

Lightning quickly averted her eyes again.

Suddenly she felt horrible, felt ashamed of herself.

She´d lost control in there. She really had.

Had let her rage take over and that in front of all the others, Genesis, Zack and Angeal, Cloud even.

Where the fuck was her soldier honor?!

But shit, it had felt so good...

Staring out at the horizon, she felt her comrade´s weight lower onto the swing as he sat down beside her.

'Let me see...' Zack said concernedly, as tentatively he reached over to touch her injured hands.

The pink haired first class knew he probably wanted to use one of his healing spells on them.

She pulled away instantly.

Those spells very likely wouldn´t work on her anymore. They didn´t work on Sephiroth. Didn´t work on Jenova cells. She had found out that much already.

She couldn´t risk Zack finding out anything about it though. Couldn't risk for her wounds to give herself away. She simply couldn´t. It was bad enough she knew herself.

She felt tears stinging her eyes again, only at the thought of it.

Somehow she couldn´t hold them back anymore.

She didn´t know why.

She hadn´t cried in front of Zack in ages.

Oh what a mess.

She had thought she was done with crying in front of people.

Crying, having feelings in general, it didn´t befit a monster like herself. No. Not at all.

Repressed sobs shaking her body, Claire Farron felt her comrade´s arms snake around her shoulders, before he pulled her closer to his body into one of those tight hugs she once had loved so much.

Suddenly she felt like she couldn´t hold it together anymore.

Finally Claire Farron had no choice but to let the tears fall freely.

'I just hate him... So very much...' she managed inbetween sobs.

'Shhh... It´s okay... I understand.' Zack quickly tried to soothe her.

'He didn´t even defend himself...' his female friend spat, getting herself worked up again.

'I know... I know.' he whispered into her ear.

It made the pink haired female sob even harder.

The dark haired first class just sat there with her, one of his hands softly playing with her hair while the other was tracing soothing patterns on her back, her arms, her shoulders, trying to console her.

Her head resting on his collarbone, Lightning burried her wet face deep into his neck.

It felt nice to finally be able to let got, felt nice to have somebody be there for her, even if she didn´t really deserve it.

Somehow she had been longing for it for ages.

They stayed like this for what seemed like hours, the pink haired female's tears drying, still, she didn't feel like letting go.

Zack Fair held on to her patiently. Didn't loosen his embrace on her, didn´t bother her with questions or with stupid encouragements. He was simply there.

Her mental breakdown exhausting her to no end, Lightning didn´t even realize how long she stayed there hiding away in his protective arms.

Her comrade just continued to sit there with her, to be there for her really, didn't think about getting up, no not even once.

Right there that night on the porch of club duel, Zack Fair was her hero.


General Sephiroth Cresecent was watching his expression in the reflection of club duel's old cracked bathroom mirror. The same mirror Claire Farron had stared into just about half an hour ago.

Lightning...

Oh what was he supposed to do.

She had let out all her wrath on him, had beaten him to pieces, might have ripped his head off had Angeal and Zack not dragged her off of him and he had beared it all without defending himself, without complaining either, had beared it like a man.

Still. It didn't seem to have appeaced her, didn't seem to have changed anything.

She had still been fuming when she had bolted through the doors outside and somehow he couldn't help but shake off the feeling that their little run in had made things even worse. Had caused to drift them further apart even. Had only made her more angry, if that was even possible.

Rubbing at his purple bruised jaw and washing off the blood, General Sephiroth Crescent couldn't help but sigh, couldn't help but feel frustrated, beaten, done.

Claire Farron hated him. Hated him with all her heart.

And there was that terrible fear inside him, that terrible fear that somehow she would never forgive him, that somehow he would never be able to set things right.

It had been that exact fear that had caused him to keep his hands by his sides, had been that exact same fear that had caused him to hide away the past few days, making sure to stay out of her sight and away from her at all times.

That delibitating fear... He hated it. But somehow he didn't want to let go of it either.

Couldn't let go of the tiny fragile piece of hope that was still lodged somewhere deep inside his heart.

Because yes. There'd once been other times too. Hadn't there? Moments where she hadn't looked at him with hatred or with spite. Moments where she'd smiled at him, where she'd looked into his eyes with interest, with longing, with curiosity, had looked into his eyes like noone ever had before.

It was true. Shin-Ra had designed him to fight, to kill, to win their battles and such, but he was so much more than that. He really was. Couldn't she see that?

He was a living breathing being. A part alien but still part human being who made mistakes, yes, but who had feelings too.

He had surprised her here and there. He'd made her presents. Had protected her, had lied for her, had given her tips, had helped her out, had praised her. Surely it had to account for something, surely she must remember that too?

Surely she couldn't hate him forever, or could she?

Somehow he wasn't sure.

He knew he had to talk to her. It was the only way to work this out. Had to do it sometime soon. But how was he supposed to pull it off?

Would she even let him try? Or would she jump at him in an attack again, ready to scratch his eyes out?

There was only one way to find out.

Finally having summoned the guts to try and talk to her, to sort things out once and forever, the silver haired man with the blood smeared face exited the bar to walk outside just to find his former student right there on the front porch, in Zack Fair´s arms.

And they were not only hugging either. They were sitting there in tight embrace, their faces close together, eyes shut tightly, lips touching.

A jolt of jealousy gripped the silver haired man's tortured heart like a vice, gripped it tightly, twisted it mercilessly. There were no words to describe the torment, the pain, the shock, that had overcome him at seeing the both of them entwined, hugging, kissing even.

But then again... It wasn´t exactly his place to feel like that at all.

Lightning liked Zack.

It wasn´t exactly a secret.

And everyone knew Zack liked her too.

And maybe it was much better this way anyway.

Zack was nothing like him.

Zack wouldn´t hurt her. Like ever.

Zack would make her happy.

Zack was the right guy for her. He really was...

Giving an inaudible sigh, the silver haired general resisted the urge to just draw Masamune and cut off his dark haired comrade's head.

Instead he turned to go back inside and walk straight over to the bar to order himself another drink.

'She beat you up pretty bad, huh?' Angeal stated, joining him.

'I guess.' the general replied dryly, his eyes trained on his drink as he dearly wished the burly first class would shut up.

Why did Angeal always need to talk about stuff?!

'Judging from her burst of anger, I guess she found out then...?' his fellow first class assumed correctly.

The general just gave a nod.

'You told her everything?' he asksed, furrowing his bushy brow.

A nod again.

'You also told her about your feelings?' Angeal inquired, giving the man beside him a skeptical look.

General Sephiroth Crescent finally looked up at him.

'You´ve got to be kidding me...' he growled.

Angeal Hewley just sighed in defeat.

'Did you apologize at least?' he wanted to know after a short moment of silence.

'Of course I did... About a thousand times already.' Sephiroth assured him meditatively.

'Well... She won´t be angry with you forever you know...'

General Sephiroth Crescent couldn't help but swallow.

He knew Angeal just wanted to comfort him but somehow the silver haired general couldn´t help but doubt his words.

She'd probably never forgive him.

Not in a million years.

'I guess...' he said, if only for Angeal´s sake.

'Why don´t you talk to her now?' the burly first suggested, nudging his arm encouragingly. 'Where is she anyway?'

The general slowly took a sip from his drink just to set the glass down in front of him a tiny bit too hard, breaking it in the process.

Shit.

The remains of his drink soaking the counter´s surface, his dark haired comrade raised an eyebrow at him in wonder.

The general hadn´t failed in controlling his powers in front of him in ages.

'I tried.' the man replied, ignoring his little mishap.

'But?' Angeal Hewley prompted.

'But... It appears she´s busy making out with your pup on the porch outside.' Sephiroth informed him, his eyes narrowing involuntarily at the thought of Zack´s arm around the pink haired woman, the thought of their comrade's lips on her lush pale pink ones.

He quickly forced the mental picture out of his mind.

'Huh?'

Angeal Hewley looked surprised.

'What are you talking about?'

His eyes darting around the room in search for Zack, Sephiroth knew he certainly hadn´t expected any of this as an answer.

'Oooooooooohhhh, I told you the two of them would make a great couple!' Genesis piped up, suddenly leaning against the bar next to Angeal, eyes gleaming with mirth at his comrade's infinite misfortune and about to order a drink himself.

Sephirtoh caught Angeal Hewley throw his childhood friend a warning glance.

But he couldn´t help but think that Genesis was right.

Lightning definitely deserved better than him.

'You know it´s funny, how after first seeing her I actually joked about her being your match...' Genesis began.

Please not that right now...

'I thought that she was just like you. Cruel. Cold hearted. With a stick up her arse. But I guess I have been mistaken. I personally have always been fond of the theory that every Jack had his Jill. But you know... I guess there is no match for someone like you out there after all.' Genesis teased, his eyes twinkling with malicious joy as he couldn´t wait to rub salt into his fellow first class´s wounds.

Those provocations that normally left Sephiroth completely unfazed, suddenly they stung, hurt, tortured, as finally realization hit him.

What had he been thinking?!

Had he really believed that somehow Lightning miraculously could develop feelings for someone like himself?!

After everything that had happened?!

After everything he had done?! Had done to her?!

Oh... He must have been deluding himself.

Deluding himself with false hopes.

No. Of course she wouldn't want him.

Of course not. Why would she in the first place?

'Oh, shut up you jerk!' Angeal came to his aid.

'Give him a break.'

There was a short pause where the burly first class sent Genesis accusing glances, made the latter suck it up and focus on his drink instead, before finally he turned back to his silver haired friend, looking at him concernedly.

'Listen man, it might be nothing, it might be a just a phase.' the kind burly man began. 'Maybe if -'

General Sephiroth Crescent stopped him almost instanly.

'It's okay Angeal. It's alright.' he told him, mako green eyes sad but sincere.

'I just want her to be happy.'

It was true.

Angeal Hewley gave a tiny sigh.

Yes. It was true. It really was. He really only wanted her to be happy.

But still...

After everything that had happened, after everything that had ensued, General Sephiroth Crescent couldn't help but wish that things were different, couldn't help but hurt.


Zack Fair had no idea how long he sat there with Lightning on the porch of Club Duel. He certianly didn´t care. All he cared about was his friend and how upset she was.

He couldn´t fathom what had her so distraught in the first place. She had seemed agitated and distressed ever since they had come out of the final wutai battle. He had no idea what had happened there, but he knew it had something to do with him, with Sephiroth.

That much was obvious.

They had emerged together from that forest some time after the battle had officially ended.

Lightning´s eyes had been puffy and red, he had realized immediately. She clearly had been crying.

And Sephiroth had seemed upset too, as far as he was able to tell at least. That guy didn´t exactly let on much like ever.

Zack Fair hadn´t said anything back then.

He hadn´t wanted to make things worse.

But he knew, whatever the first class general had done to her back then, it had to have been something terrible. It definitely wasn´t easy to make a warrior like Lightning cry. She hadn't cried in front of him in ages.

He didn´t know what had been going on between her and Sephiroth, if there had something been going on between them. But he knew that man hadn´t exactly treated her respectfully in the past.

Hell, he had actually treated her like shit.

Damn, he hadn´t even refrained from using physical violence against her. And that was definitely no way to treat a woman. Even if Lightning was a member of SOLDIER, she was still a girl after all, wasn´t she?

Sometimes he had the feeling the others were forgetting about that. Sometimes he forgot too. With her acting all strong and invulnerable and everything... It sometimes was hard to see through the walls of the fortress she had erected around her.

Still, something had happened between those two back then.

Whatever it was, Sephiroth had gone a step too far. He had hurt her beyond what she could take. He had made her cry.

And Zack Fair hated him for that.

'Z... Zack...?' the pink haired object of his musings suddenly stirring in his arms, the dark haired first class quickly brushed his thoughts away, quickly brought his attention back to the girl right next to him.

'Hm?'

'I... I must have dozed off a bit. I´m sorry.' she said somewhat sleepily.

Zack Fair only gave a small kind smile.

'You´re welcome.'

She snuggled even closer to his chest.

'Thank you...' He could feel her lips moving against the skin of his neck as she formed the words. It made his skin erupt in goosebumps.

'I told you, you´re welcome.' he assured her, hugging her back tighly.

'No... I mean for everything.'

The pink haired girl in his arms pulling away a litte bit to look at him, Zack Fair couldn't help but drown in her infinitely pretty ice blue eyes.

Suddenly he didn't know what to say.

She was suddenly so close to him, was practically on top of him, and before he even knew it he felt her soft warm lips on his.

They tasted of blood and rage and battle.

Still. He kissed her back with all he had. Kissed her back until the sun vanished completely and the night began to fall.


When she woke up the next morning Claire Farron definitely felt better. A lot better actually.

After kissing Zack infront of club duel she had fallen asleep on his warm soft shoulder, had slept like a dead girl really, and he had apparently carried her all the way back to the inn and up to her room.

He'd had the decency to leave her clothes on and to retire to his own assigned room, had left her to wake up to the brand new day all by herself, which Lightning was rather thankful for.

It wasn't that she didn't want Zack close, that she didn't want to spend time with him, that she didn't like him. It was rather that she needed time to think.

Kissing Zack on that front porch just a night before had been beautiful. Lightning could not deny it. It had been nice, and warm and soothing and human, had breathed some life back into her.

It had been her first kiss. And it had been pleasant, had been lovely, had been whole.

And Lightning was so infinitely thankful for that.

Still. They were only friends, were comrades. Weren't they? Somehow Lightning wasn't sure anymore.

Could they really become more than that? Could they be a couple? Could she feel any of the things for him that she'd felt for Sephiroth?

Lightning didn't know.

What she knew for sure though was that Zack was worrying about her. He knew something was going on with her, knew something was bothering her, knew there was something she didn't tell them, knew she had a secret that was eating away at her. Still. There was just no way she could fill him in. No way. Not even if he were her boyfirend. (Which he wasn't!)

There simply was no way.

She had to keep the whole jenova thing a secret, was planning to do so at the least, well, as best as she possibly could.

It was down at breakfast that she saw Sephiroth again.

Taking a place on the table furtherst away from him, she couldn´t help but throw curious glances in his direction.

His face decorated with bruises and cuts there were dark circles underneath his eyes and dried blood on his lip and brow where his skin had torn in their fight the previous night.

Lightning couldn´t believe her eyes.

He hadn´t even bothered to heal his injuries.

He could have dealt with them within seconds, she was aware. She´d seen him heal worse after all.

Still he sat there with all those cuts, those bruises, gazing miserably into the depths of his morning coffee.

Lightning couldn´t help but stare.

It was just then that the general looked up from his plate.

Their eyes catching and their gazes locking immediately, those mysterious pools of mako didn´t give away a hint of what might be going on behind them in the deep recesses of his mind.

Staring into them, Lightning quickly wondered what was runnning through his head right then.

She would have given all her gil to find out.

Still. As things were she could only guess.

It was right then that she realized that sitting there and watching him suddenly didn´t feel awkward anymore. No. Not at all. She would never feel awkward in front of him anymore. There was no reason to. None at all.

He was just a bastard. With a big fat ego. Nothing but a worm. She could stomp down on with her foot.

Gone were the days where she'd thought the silver haired general superior.

No. He was not superior at all. Not to her. And not to anyone.

If anyone was pathetic, then it was him.

'Hey, are you okay?' Zack´s voice suddenly made her snap back to reality, as he made to sit down by her side.

'Sure.' Lightning replied, only reluctantly tearing her gaze away from the silver haired legend on the other side of the room and looking up at Zack instead.

'Zack... Thank you.' she said again, ice blue ice sincere.

'I mean for everything. I don't know where I would be without you.'

Sky blue eyes looking down on her with love with care, her comrade rewarded her with an encouraging kind smile.

'You´re welcome again.' he said, looking at her curously as he made to take her hand, leaned forward to quickly kiss her cheek.

She just looked up at him with big blue eyes, gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

'You know, you can always come and talk to me if something´s bothering you. You can always count on me.' he added and Lightning knew it wasn´t out of courtesy.

'Thanks. I know that...' she lied quickly as she gazed into his kind bright features.

Zack acting all protective over her, somehow she couldn´t help but think that it was cute. She wasn´t used to people acting like that towards her.

Kind, caring, protective.

There was no reason for anyone to protect her of course.

She had proven that much on plenty of occasions but still.

Still, it felt nice to know that somebody cared about her for a change. To know that somebody was there for her.