Not beta'd
"So did you wanna talk...you know about what happened in Tates?"
They moved to the couch and eames draped her legs over his. He ran his hand through his hair then at the back of his neck.
"What do you want to know?"
"The nightmares?"
"You have an idea what Jay went through."
"How bad was it?"
"It was bad." She glanced up like she was encouraging more detail. "Let's just say everyone's always obsessed with saying I'm crazy, I got a taste with how it would feel to be treated that way. To be treated like my mother."
Her eyes were empathetic but not pitying. "That had to be difficult."
"Uh,Yeah. It, wa-was."
"Do you dream about her or was it just the experience of it all?" He ran his hands up and down her legs. Anticipating the intimacy of the conversation, she scooted up closer to him but facing her body away from him. He wrapped his arms around her.
"Sometimes, both. She manages to get in hereā¦" He pointed to his head and although she couldn't see his gesture, she knew what he was referring to. "But mostly it's my experience in heaven."
"What exactly happened in there?" She turned to face him trying to communicate that she wasn't being confrontational but concerned and really wanted to be able to do something to help.
"You know, Alex. ... denied food and water, exposed to large amounts of heat until I was severely dehydrated, restrained."
"I know that but something happened to you, something that is still causing you nightmares and that I guess I just want to understand."
"It's not really any specific thing, Alex and its not exactly something I can explain. It just is."
"I just hate seeing you suffer. You've been suffering for a while and I guess I'm beginning to feel a bit helpless."
He ran his hands through her hair. And down her back. "It'll be okay."
He kissed her and she kissed him back groping him through the kiss." She went to kiss his neck and remove his shirt and he stopped her.
"I'm not in the mood."
She looked dejected at first and then replied, "okay." She sat next to him. straighten herself and then laid her head on his shoulder.
Goren didn't talk anymore. He couldn't help but think about it all and he felt so raw and he hated it. He wondered if he should go back to his apartment. Suddenly, he didn't feel like company. But he just sat there with her head against his shoulder and thinking about how much she cared for him. He couldn't help but fear he would let her down one day.
