And I'm back to bring you all another wonderful chapter! Also, before any of you bellyache the whole, Harem thing, a few notes.
One, I'm not going to be throwing the story to the side for the fluff or whatnot. It's mainly there for comedic purposes, not to take over the main plot. And for you fight hungry fans, we're barely into the Chunin Exams, so trust me, you'll get your fill of fights as the story progresses.
And two, since Christmas Eve is coming up tomorrow and I have Tuesday and Wednesday off, I'll be working my butt off to get you guys more chapters of this, plus Magician II and maybe if I feel like it, that SAO story I mentioned on my profile.
Okay, now that's out of the way...yes, I need to do it again since I want to avoid the copyright Nazis getting on my ass...
DISCLAIMER: As I have said before, and will say as many times as it takes, I do NOT own Naruto, its characters, locations, or any of the franchise. That stuff belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Viz Media, TV Tokyo Co., and Shonen Jump, and other people who have some ownership of said franchise. On the other hand, I do own the story and the techniques I come up with. There! Now onto the chapter!
Chapter 7: From 0 to 100
After Ibiki's remark that the remaining people in the room had passed the exam, as well as the group's reaction, save for a few such as Gaara, Ibiki let out a grin as he explained the purpose of the exam to them.
"For the first nine questions, we set up the rules to force you to cheat in order to test your skills in gathering information discreetly. A ninja needs to be able to be skilled in gathering such info from their enemies for their nations at times. Though The one with the smoke bomb...I'll give you credit that rather than discretion, you went for distraction, so nice one. Just don't think it'll work every time."
Naruto fought the urge to scratch the back of his head at that remark.
Then Temari asked "Then what about the last question? What was the point of that?"
Ibiki then gave his answer.
"That was the most important part of the test. Say your given a mission that will likely put your lives on the line and if it succeeds, will greatly help your village, but you have the choice whether to accept or reject it. Obviously a true Chunin would take it, despite the risks, in order to support their village."
He then took his bandana off, showing the scars that ran all over it from numerous types of torture. He then put his bandana back on.
"One of the things Lord Third has said is a Shinobi is one who endures. They have to in order to not only accomplish their mission, but make sure their comrades get back in one piece. And that, is what I leave to you all as the First Exam Proctor."
He was about to conclude the first part, but out of the corner of his eye he could see the black ball flying towards the windows from outside.
Naruto noticed it as well from the noise it made before he said "What the fuck i-"
He didn't get to finish as the ball broke through the window, and as it made it to the middle of the room, it unfurled into a banner as kunai stuck the edges of it to the ceiling and floor, and from it, a purple haired kunoichi wearing a tan jacket, netting, and a short skirt that left very little to the imagination landed in the middle of the room.
"Alright brats! I'm Anko Mitarashi, the Second Exam Proctor!" she yelled.
In response to her actions, the majority of the people had three reactions.
One, they were blinking as they tried to process the information. Two, they were being perverts as they saw the little amount of clothes she wore. And three, they were having asking themselves what the hell is going on.
However, some responded differently. Well, at least three of them.
Gaara didn't really care...however…
Naruto and Haku both thought That was actually kinda cool. Bad timing though...but I should ask her how to do that, I can think of a few pranks with that!
After said thought though, Naruto noticed that Anko too smelled of snakes, though in comparison it was different from the musty smell from Kabuto and the Sound Nins.
"To be fair, she is Orochimaru's student. Both of them use snake summons. Though unlike Orochimaru, Anko isn't like that man…" Minato said to satisfy Naruto's curiosity.
The Kyuubi also added to that "He means she isn't a psycho bent on immortality and not a pedophile."
Minato looked at the Kyuubi for a moment with a stare.
"What? I'm not wrong."
Naruto then responded True enough, hence why we left that warning...though knowing our team's luck, we'll end up having to confront him probably.
Minato wanted to deny that, but then again, Team 7's first C rank mission turned from a simple escort into an A rank job to save an entire country.
The Kyuubi simply shrugged, before it said "How about we pay attention to the proctor for now."
Naruto simply nodded as he focused back on the outside world. He even happened to get back just in time.
"Well, I'll be cutting their numbers down in half. Alright all of you, the First Part is over! For those continuing, you're to be at the entrance to Training Ground 44 in less than an hour. I'll see you there...So get moving!"
And as the proctor then jumped out the window, the rest of the remaining participants, including the Rookie 9, Team Gai, The Sand nin, and so on, left the room.
Ibiki watched the last of them go as he then went to start collecting the test papers. They would be used in order to help evaluate the participants who managed to get to the third part, though said participants didn't need to know that.
However, as he picked up Naruto's paper, he noticed an arrow on the side that implied for him to check the back. As he flipped it over, it read as such.
Kabuto and the Sound nin suspicious. Smells like THAT snake.
Ibiki's eyes went wide as he then ordered one of the nearby anbu to quickly take the note to Lord Third. As head of the Torture and Interrogation Corps, he had been one of the few notified about Naruto's...problem, but he didn't mind. Heck, he found how it happened quite entertaining. So he chose to trust the boy on the smell part.
He sighed as what became a fun bit of mentally trolling children for a day, turned into what could become a fiasco.
Training Ground 44, Konohagakure, Land of Fire
Meanwhile all the participants who passed the first part of the exam had arrived at the entrance to Training Ground 44. What they saw was a large forest surrounded by metal fencing. It was much different from the surrounding area in that the trees were much taller, and from within, the genins could hear the sounds of a variety of animals, which included a few roars from tigers.
Anko was standing in front of the fence with a smirk on her face as she said "Welcome to Training Ground 44 everyone, as some of us like to call it, the Forest of Death. Filled with all sorts of beasties that will eat you whole if you give them the chance."
With this, many of the genins, save for some, felt a bit worried. However the ones least affected were in fact Team 7. They had already been face to face with the infamous Nine Tailed Fox. When you met with one of the most dangerous beasts to walk the planet, things like this didn't really scare much.
Naruto even said "The Forest of Death? I'm not scared."
The Kyuubi commented "That's because you have to deal with me...and that pink fleshbag that hits hard enough I swear she probably could go toe to toe in a fist fight with my previous jinchuuriki."
"Yeah, I can see that." Minato added to the Kyuubi's comment.
Anko decided to take this as a challenge so she in high speed shot a kunai at the boy, though he didn't even budge since he could tell where it was headed. The kunai went by his cheek, leaving a small cut, though he knew that it would heal before long.
However, he wasn't ready for what happened next. Anko shunshined behind him and licked where the cut was, freaking him out a little. The Kyuubi was laughing, and Minato was also a little surprised at what she did.
"You know, it's the kids like you who think they can do just about anything, that end up getting caught off guard, and spill all that rich, red, lovely, luscious blood." Anko said in his ear.
All the genin were a little disturbed...save for Gaara, who didn't really give a crap, and Kiba, who saw it as teasing and thought Naruto was a lucky bastard. Though of course, he probably would have pissed his pants if he was in Naruto's situation.
Then one of the other genins, a woman with a large straw hat, picked up the thrown kunai with her tongue and went to the proctor as she said "I believe this is yours?"
Anko gave her a quick "Oh yeah, Thanks." as she took the kunai and then shunshined back to the original spot she was in. She then collected herself from her little stunt and went on to explain the next part of the exam. The teams had two objectives. To retrieve a set of Earth and Heaven Scrolls, one which would be given to them at the start, from opposing teams. And the second, was to reach the tower in the middle of the training grounds. Also they were not to open the scrolls until they reached the inside of the tower.
Just as it seemed all the rules had been explained, she then added some extra rules.
"Lastly, as we do have a team of four here, they will be carrying a Man Scroll. As a result, they need that scroll as well as a set of Heaven and Earth Scrolls. Plus if they are unable to keep the Man Scroll, they will need two sets of scrolls in order to pass. Lastly, this is for the rest of you, the Man Scroll can be substituted for either of the Heaven or Earth Scrolls."
This made Sasuke smirk a bit at the idea of a challenge, Haku shrug since it was expected the proctor would make it harder for the team with a number advantage. Sakura was worried since now they had a giant target on their backs.
As for Naruto...he sweated a few bullets, both from the additional rules...and something else.
...Kyuubi, did you smell that?
"...Yes, yes I did." the Kyuubi replied.
Dad, is that who I think it is?
Minato said in a serious tone "More than likely. I'd recommend staying away from them if you can."
...I'm really starting to think my luck is crap. Naruto mentally grumbled.
It was a bit later at the gate, Naruto had his teammates gather around quickly so they could be warned about both Kabuto and the woman who REEKED to high hell of snakes...
All of them were of a general consensus on two, no three things.
One, they had to give the blond a bit more credit since even before he was a genin he beat up a chunin.
Two, Kabuto was likely the type of guy to lie through his teeth. Heck, Sasuke even let himself look a bit worried for a moment about what info the spy could have before he put back on his normal stoic face. Haku noticed it, but decided not to say anything about it for the time being.
And three...if they saw the straw hat-wearing kunoichi, to get the FUCK OUTTA DODGE. If it was who the ex-hokage thought it was, there was little chance of them getting out unscathed.
However, they didn't have much more time before the bell rung, so they decided to adopt a strategy of finding the two scrolls, get to the tower, and avoid the one ninja at all costs. Heck, they also made a password based off a poem in case of transformations or illusions. Of course though, Naruto couldn't remember it for the life of him.
After that, the bell then sounded and the group then made a beeline into the woods. Their formation was Sasuke in front, checking in front of them every now and then with Sharingan since he could see chakra, Sakura and Haku in the middle so that they could support the front or rear, and Naruto in the rear, since with his senses it wouldn't be easy to catch him off guard.
As they ran along the trees, Naruto yelled "Got one!" as he summoned a shadow clone that went back to the area behind them. The rest of the team jumped down onto the ground as they waited for the clone to pull their pursuer out into the open.
It was then the pursuer, a nin from Amegakure that wore white and a sort of gas mask, slammed down onto the ground, courtesy of the clone that Naruto summoned earlier. They had a feeling someone would follow them, so they simply set up a way to get things done and over with quickly.
The Rain nin got himself out of the ground, only to have his eyes widen as he was now in front of the group he was pursuing. He should have known better than to go scout on his own, but the idea of the man scroll had made him a bit greedy.
"So...are you going to hand over the scroll you have, or will we have to take it?" Sasuke said with a smirk.
The nin jumped back as he started making hand signs as he said "Yeah right you brats, I'll be taking that scroll from you!"
But just as he was about to finish his jutsu, he was punched in the gut by Naruto. Normally he would have done a bit of how awesome he was and all that, but with what could be the Snake Sannin around, Naruto decided there was no time for the usual theatrics, thus…
"Sorry, no time! Sakura, check him for the scroll!"
Sakura nodded as she checked the man's pockets and pouches, in one she found a scroll of earth.
Sasuke nodded as he said "Alright then, that's one. Now let's-"
But before they could continue, a strong gust of wind hit the group. While a majority of the group managed to stick to the ground, Naruto, who was the wind's direct target, was sent flying.
Of course, as he flew, he let out "FFFUUUUUUUUUUuuuu-"
"NARUTO!" Haku yelled as she saw him fly away and out of his vision.
The wind then died down. The group was about to go towards where he was, Naruto then came out from some of the brush, a bit disheveled, but he looked fine.
At this point though, Sasuke then asked Naruto "Naruto, what's the password?"
The blond in front of them then repeated the password perfectly. For a moment, Sakura breathed out a sigh of relief...but then Sasuke added on.
"Okay, turn off 'those' seals for a moment."
Naruto looked at him a bit confused as he said "...which seals again?"
Sasuke, as well as Haku, then sent a barrage of attacks at the blond, who ended up dodging all but one, which made his eyes widen as he noticed the explosive tag on it.
The tag then exploded, through 'Naruto' jumped out of the smoke, revealing rather than Naruto, it was actually the Grass kunoichi Naruto warned them about.
"...well...shit." Sasuke couldn't help but swear at the situation.
Sakura let sweat drop from her head as she prepared himself.
And Haku let out "Well...this day went from 0 to 100…"
The team just hoped Naruto was in a better situation than they were right now.
With Naruto
"-uuUUUUUUUCCK!" the boy yelled as he flew, finally being stopped as he hit a tree. He then fell to the forest floor. After a moment he got back up, with only a scratch here or there that healed a few moments later.
And while he was annoyed about what just happened, he was worried. Not only was that a powerful wind jutsu from what he could tell, but it also smelled of snakes. But just as he was about to get moving, he could hear, and feel something behind him.
He slowly turned around to come face to face with a giant snake, its yellow eyes looking at him.
Naruto couldn't help but let a few sweatdrops crawl down the back of his neck. He was pretty sure it could swallow him whole if it wanted to.
The snake then lunged towards him, mouth open, to which Naruto responded with…
"OH HELL NO! I AM NOT GETTING EATEN TODAY!" he said as he used one of his fox fire jutsus, a fox fire version of the fireball jutsu, straight at the snake's face.
As the snake saw the fire about to consume it whole, its last thoughts were.
Orochimaru-sama said this was gonna be an easy job. Just eat the kid he sent my way and get a free meal out of it. He's totally weak...YEAH RIGHT!? HE didn't say anything about fire that hot!
And so the snake screamed its death throes as the fireball burned its face to a crisp.
Naruto with heavy breathing proceeded to calm himself down. Meanwhile he could hear the Kyuubi laughing its ass off.
"Oh my Kami that was priceless! The way your face looked as you panicked from that snake summon, PRICELESS!"
"Hey! It caught me off guard okay!...also snake summon?" Naruto said to the fox, pretty sure no one else was nearby.
"Yeah, and you know what that means." the Kyuubi replied.
"We should get back quickly. That wind jutsu was probably Orochimaru's" Minato spoke in a serious tone.
Naruto nodded, but just as he was about to get moving, he heard a girl scream a bit away from him in the other direction.
Uggghh, damn my Hero complex! He mentally yelled at himself before he decided to go towards the scream. He came across a redhead girl with glasses and her two teammates, well dead teammates, and a large, very hungry looking tiger. He guessed that they must have gotten ambushed by the animal, and as a result her two teammates got killed. And likely she would be next. As the animal approached her, ready to punce, she closed her eyes in her fear.
However, Naruto quickly jumped in and took the tiger out with a dropkick to the back of its head, taking it out. The girl, who realized she wasn't dead yet, opened her eyes to see the tiger, likely dead since blood was dripping out of its mouth, with a blond youth standing on top of it.
"You alright!?" he said with a bit of a rushed tone.
"I-I'm fine, thanks." she replied.
"Well good, anyhow I gotta go! Teammates to save and all that bye!" he replied as he jumped up to one of the nearby trees.
The redhead then yelled in annoyance "Hey! Don't leave me here! At least tell me your name jackass!"
Naruto decided to humor her as he turned his eyes towards her, and said "Naruto Uzumaki! Future Hokage! Anyhow bye!" He then started to shunshin across the trees, vanishing from the redhead's sight.
Meanwhile, the redhead couldn't help but say "Wait, he's also an Uzumaki?...That lying motherfucker!...also, why did his chakra feel weird? Bah, doesn't matter right now! That prick Orochimaru told me I didn't have any living relatives, and look who popped up!"
She huffed in annoyance before she looked at her dead teammates, before she sighed "Well, my teammates are dead, my 'boss' lied about not having any living relatives, and now I'm stuck in a forest filled with a bunch of monsters...Kami dammit."
Sasuke: Wait, that last bit was Karin wasn't it?
Karin: Yeah, guess WVH didn't want the whole 'attached to Sasuke' thing...still pissed Orochimaru didn't tell me about Naruto, who is probably my cousin.
Naruto: No kidding.
WVH: Also Karin, if it makes you feel better, I'm not gonna toss you to the Harem. Rather you'll just be good friends.
Karin: Yeah, I'd rather not catch his stupidity
Naruto: Hey!
Sakura: I can agree with you there
Naruto: Not you too Sakura!
Kakashi: Just relax Naruto. It could be worse, remember canon Sasuke?
Team 7: ...true
Canon Sasuke: Really Kakashi, really?
WVH: ...I'm not even going to ask how he got here. Anyhow to the readers, hope you enjoyed the chapter!
Some blond hair guy wearing blue: Also make sure you R&R and come back for the next chapter!
WVH: ...I'm not gonna ask how he got in here either...but...GO BACK HOME YOU TWO!
PS. Next chapter will be Team 7 vs Orochimaru, or those of you who are people of culture, Orochi-pedo. So yes, it'll be action time!
