Destiny
Disclaimer: I Do not own YGO. This is a work of fanfiction, the last of a mini set of three, quite possibly the sappiest of the bunch.
Inspiration: Cuir de Ange by Hermes, Kygo and Ella Henderson's gorgeous cover of Taylor Swift's Wildest Dreams, photos of cotton candy sunrises on the Nile. Not mine.
...
Atem stood at the center of the reed boat, one of Yugi's steely black boot pointing towards the hull and one pointing towards the sunset in the distance. He (they?) seemed unsure of which direction to go. Relatively unsure, that is. Destiny chose already, but, then, Destiny hardly weighed emotions the way people do. Tomorrow would take had already been preordained. Millennia ago, sealed, written, and bound without so much a speck of what happened during the years until now. He had known since Battle City their destination was the pyramids illuminated by streaks of crimson and gold in the Valley of Kings. What had been unknown until a mere hour ago was how he would feel looking at a figure, tall, lithe, and graceful, illuminated by streaks of tears and framed by the setting sun. Anzu. In pain. Because of him.
If Atem could have made Yugi's mouth move, it would be in an inhuman sort of howl, a shrill shriek of rage followed by loss mingled with grief.
Hunched over, Anzu seemed oblivious to Atem and, indeed, everything else. She seemed to fade like the pyramids in the distance, a small figure shuffling from cloud to cloud where the sun and desert melted as one. Her profile shook as the river streaked by. The shuddering movements were all wrong- sporadic and unrefined bursts of raw emotion roaring and fading. Anzu was crying and, from the white-knuckled way she was clinging to the rail, had been so for some time. Atem didn't know if he should intrude upon what was obviously a private movement of grief.
Not for the first time, he wondered if he should go to her.
Throughout the trip she had been peppier than usual (to Seto's infinite chagrin); a feigned kind of cheeriness that fooled everyone except Atem. The happy-go-lucky demeanor was for other people's benefit, especially Yugi's. Aibou seemed uncharacteristically oblivious, too, though even Yugi was hiding under a mask of sanguine cheer to utter pointlessness due to their bond, not that it stopped Yugi from trying. Likewise, Atem caught the undertones of grief when she thought no one was looking, either. It was the way she always smiled just a little too wide when violet met blue. "I'm fine," she cut him off with a quick, strained giggle each time he started to question. "You just worry about Yugi, Pharaoh."
Yugi.
Funny how she was more worried about aibou's reaction to his imminent departure on aibou as opposed to her own. But, then again, Atem suspected she felt very much alone in her grief, which manifested itself in this insistent, sustained sobbing long after everyone else retired to practice duels and, in Duke's case, dice monsters demos. Anzu hated crying in front of other people, Atem most of all. Anything that gave the faintest impression that she didn't want the best for everyone else was summarily squashed and filed away for moments like this, reserved for when she alone and out of sight. Three days ago she held Yugi until he cried himself into heaves of dry air at the prospect of losing aibou, never letting the slightest hint escape about how much she would miss Atem, too.
But this was three days later and there was no one to hold her.
Not that she expected anyone, which only intensified Atem's struggle. She obviously did not want to be disturbed, as everyone was already in bed. The girl was all backbone even in grief, wrapped in some gauzy linen outfit that more than vaguely resembled a mourning shroud. Traditional Egyptian weaving passed down from generations of tomb-keepers, Ishizu had explained as she dressed the younger brunette, naturally flow-y and thus more suited for the boiling sun above above than Anzu's usual cotton shorts and platform boots. How appropriate, Anzu murmured in response, and Atem suspected she was referring more to the shape of the dress than its cooling properties, which were lacking, considering the ample rivulets of sweat and tears pouring down her face now.
Atem was three steps towards the hull before he stopped. What am I doing, exactly?
He had known Anzu hadn't been looking for motion sickness medicine when she "accidentally" swung by the cabin as he and Yugi were preparing their decks this morning. They memorized her like a favorite song already by collecting various useless and inane details, like the way she always ate fortune cookies before reading the tiny slips of paper inside (for luck, apparently) and how she had been a champion swimmer since she was five (also for luck, apparently). Atem doubted the girl who won impromptu, Olympic-esque races against Joey five miles out of Domino Pier and won suffered from anything remotely close to motion sickness, but, then again, there was no need for Yugi to disappear into the Puzzle to shuffle his deck for the eightieth time as as soon as Anzu showed up, either.
"Hi." Her eyes had been slightly puffy, but her voice was steady. "I...um...I just wanted wish you good luck for tomorrow. Both of you."
"Thank you." Atem tried to imbue the statement with as many meanings as possible. Thank you for being my friend, thank you for being Yugi's friend, and thank you for just for being you. He had been waiting for a moment like this since Battle City, a moment alone, without Yugi, to tell her how much she meant to him. To tell her how much he appreciated her belief in him, even while Yugi was gone, and to tell her how much he will miss her. All that and more fluttered died in strangled whispers as soon as she reached forward and hugged him in a snapping motion, as if afraid he would suddenly vanish without her arms to anchor him. Atem thought her shoulders shook a little, too, but that little bit of hesitation disappeared as soon as she let him go and brushed the sudden wetness off Yugi's shirt.
"Anyways, I...I'll mi- I mean, I m...may have to go help Ishizu with...um...something...before the duel, but I'll...umm...still be there, ok?"
And with a lopsided smile she was gone, vanishing even as the cabin door slammed in Atem's face, gone and sprinting down the starboard side before Atem could even will his limbs to respond. He had followed, of course, but now that he found her he wasn't sure what to say. Or do. Nothing he thought of seemed sufficient and Yugi was shuffling his deck so hard the echo of cards slapping against cards reverberated in an anguished howl. What exactly could Atem say, anyways? I'm leaving. I'm sorry. I love you. I'm still leaving. I'm very, very sorry for hurting you? I love you and wouldn't ever hurt-
With that, Atem's heart twisted. Perhaps he could go to her. Comfort her, even. Lose tomorrow. Wrangle a draw. (Surely destiny wasn't that cruel?) Or he could not got to her. Go now...Go tomorrow. Not go anywhere at all. All thoughts tumbled and jumbled. He really didn't know which were his and which were Yugi's, anymore. Slowly, the sun sank into the horizon and the shadows and evening chill climbed onboard. Anzu shuddered from the evening chill, dress flapping, but didn't go back inside, either. She had stopped crying and was now staring forlornly ahead, eyes fixed and posture stiff. Most likely she heard the shuffling of indecisive boots and knew he was there, but she didn't turn around, either, lest she intrude upon his grief.
Atem sighed.
And then he moved, not towards Anzu as he so desperately wanted, but backwards, towards their cabin, where he spent much too long slamming his cards until they, too, snapped and echoed hollowly in the empty chamber.
...
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