'Hey...' Sephiroth's husky voice greeted her first thing that she opened her eyes, big mako green ones shining at her with love, with care, with wonder.

It was already light outside. The sun had just started to rise and was immersing the room in a soft golden glow that was warming the skin of her exposed arms and cheeks through the open bedroom window.

She could hear some early birds outside chirping their greetings to the dawning of another day and the rustle of the dried out common reed that Sephiroth was growing in the back yard.

'Hey...' Lightning said somewhat sleepily.

She'd woken up in one of his comfy but much too big shirts that easily covered her past her hips, lying on her side with him right next to her, the man she'd spent her night with, mirroring her position and leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

His hair still damp from the shower he seemed to have already taken, the silver haired first class continuing tracing soft butterfly kisses down her cheek and onto her arm, it was giving a sleepy tiny groan that Lightning inched a little closer, snuggled into him.

'Mmmm... that feels nice.' she murmured pressing her face into his chest to take in his scent, to taste his skin on her lips herself.

She'd spent the night with him before of course. Still, never had they had the chance to wake up together, not like this.

First there'd been the shock of surviving meteor and then that night on the beach... Well, Lightning wasn't even sure she'd slept at all back then.

'We could wake up like this every day.' the general said as carefully he pulled away to look at her, eyes studying her carefully.

It made the pink haired female come back to her senses.

'We could-'

'What time is it?' she asked sounding somewhat startled as she sat up in his bed, a feeble attempt at changing the topic, Lightning knew.

'Don't worry, it's only 6:30.' the general informed her in a gentle soothing voice. 'I won't let you get late for work.' he added at a much more cheerful undertone, leaning forward to kiss her head again.

It made Ligthning stare at the wall ahead.

'We could get ourselves a rooster to wake us every morning' he added in an uncharacteristically playful tone. 'Or a dog.'

'Or an alarm clock...' he quickly backpedaled when he saw his lover's falling face.

It made the pink haired female scramble up from the bed to pick up her clothes, made the silver haired general get up too.

'What are you doing?' he asked sounding somewhat crestfallen, a note of panick creeping into his voice now.

'I'm leaving.' Lightning said in a clipped tone as she pulled his shirt over her head and made to donn her own clothes.

'No wait... I thought we'd have breakfast together... I got us bread, and ham, and eggs, and -'

She made the silver haired first class stop with just one withering glance of her's.

'Sorry, I can't.' was all Claire Farron offered as an explanation as as quickly as she could she made out into the hall and throught the freshly painted front door, leaving her former sensei to stare after her from the little front porch window.


Leaving the house behind her as fast as she could, Claire Farron crossed the neatly trimmed frontlawn and made onto the street at a brisk swift pace, eager to bring as much distance as possible between herself and that damned death trap of a dream house as fast as possible.

Oh what had she gotten herself into again?

Suddenly Lightning wasn't sure.

An uneasy queasy feeling had settled somewhere in the pit of her stomach and she could feel the unpleasant sensation of an upcoming tension headache prickling at her temples.

Surely it couldn't mean anything good.

Making through the street of Bodhum she hurried home as fast as she could just to change into her uniform and do her hair to then hurry back out of the house and out onto the streats again making towards the guardian corps station.

No. She hadn't planned to spend the night out, she so definitely hadn't. Hadn't planned for any of the things that had happened, and she had been unprepared, overwhelmed really.

It was in a hurry therefore that she made towards the station, was in a bad mood already that she arrived.

She hadn't had time for a shower, hadn't had time for a snack.

Sure, she could have gotten herself something to eat somewhere in town, could have needed something after all those nighttime activities she had engaged in the previous hours, but in the end she skipped breakfast alltogether. Decided that she couldn't probably have gotten anything down even if she wanted.

No. What had happened there that night before, everything from the appartment to the dinner to Sephiroth's revelation about their 'bond' had completely thrown her. Had turned her upside down.

What was it with this guy?!

All those things he'd done, all those efforts, all those actions, suddenly they seemed completely utterly insane.

He had gotten himself a beachhouse. A pretty decent beachhouse to be fair.

Now he expected her to move in with him. Expected her to what? To enter a relationship with him? To make it all official? It was preposterous. And then there was the bond, that connection, that whatever he wanted to call it, that weird freakish thing that had passed between the both of them there.

That crazy connection of ancient extraterrestrial stem cells...

It freaked Lightning out to no end.

That 'bond'... What exactly was it's use? What exactly was it's cause? Was this part of the 'reunion' professor Ghast had talked about in his recordings? Somehow there was nothing in it any of the records she had found. It had never been mentioned once. Then again there hadn't been people infused with jenova stem cells at the time of professor Ghast's writing, and it definitely needed two to observe that bond.

Lightning wasn't sure there was anybody out there who knew about this kind of connection or even suspected it was possible.

Maybe it was just one of those adverse effects that only become visible after a certain time, that kind that warrants a product recall. And compensation payments. Well. There was no chance of that. Shin-Ra was gone. And so were the ones responsible. As well as those who knew what she was dealing with. There was no point in writing a letter of complaint, no hope of reclaiming her former state, of ever geting rid of this.

Because yes. Getting rid of it, that was exactly what she wanted.

She didn't want to be bonded to him. Her former mentor, her boss, her lover, whatever he was. Not in any kind of way. Didn't need him poking around in her head, her mind, her heart.

No. His existence was affecting her enough as things were already. She didn't need a crazy unnatural fucked up degenerated alien stem stell connection going between the two of them on top of it.

She didn't need another means of his to be able to control her, to pull her strings, to push her buttons.

Because surely that was what it really was. A means to control, to influence, to manipulate.

And the worst about it was it wasn't even as if it was Sephiroth who was controlling it. No. What had happened when he touched her with it, he hadn't anticipated any of it either.

It was Jenova who'd been showing her those things. Not him. Was a bundle of bloodthirsty alien cells hiding somewhere in her body.

What she had seen there, felt there in those few horrific moments. It was unnatural, was scary, was just wrong in so many fucked ways. Was something she would have kept to herself had it been her who had happened to stumble across it.

And the real question was why.

Why was he throwing all those things at her?!

That jenova bond. Their 'relationship' status. That beach house. Roosters and dogs and alarm clocks...

Why was he pushing her like that all the time? Why did he have to make her uncomfortable like that?

Why couldn't things justs stay as they were?

Why couldn't they just be happpy as they were?

With both of them living their own lives.

Seperately.

Enjoying their joined time when it came across...

Why force all this on her?

Why pressure her?

Why couldn't he wait with all this until they'd gotten to know each other better, until she felt more comfortable, more sure, until she'd had time to find out what she wanted to do with her life, in her career, until she had managed to decipher what it was she felt about all of it. About herself. About him.

Maybe in a few more weeks, a few more months... A year maybe... Who knew... Maybe then all those things would be clear to her. Maybe then she could approach him, telling him yes she wanted all that, knowing it was the right thing with all her heart. Maybe then everthing would be fine for her, would just feel right.

Well... Lightning didn't have years, months or weeks, she found the second that she entered the guardian corps station to find her silver haired first class gathered around a desktop strewn with papers with Genesis and Angeal.

She had days at best. Hours maybe.

The way the silver haired first class was staring at her when she entered, greeting the three of them as if nothing had happened between the two of them, it told her everything she had to know.

General Sephiroth Crescent wanted her commitment. And he wanted it now.

It made Lightning turn away from him and head towards the locker room.

What the fuck was she to do?

She liked him. She wanted him. In ways that scared her sometimes. But the things he expected from her. She wasn't ready for any of that. Not after everything that had ensued between the two of them. It wasn't exactly as though they had met at a BBQ party and had gotten closer to each other on a few peachy ice cream dates. They had history after all. And it wasn't exatly a rosy one.

There were things she couldn't just forget, forgive. Not even if she wanted.

True, he had changed. Dramatically so.

Still... That didn't make things undone, didn't erase her memories, her doubts, her pain, her fears. Maybe one day she could overcome them. Maybe one day she would. But this day hadn't come. Was definitely not today. Still lay in the future. In the far away future even.

How was she supposed to explain this to him in a way that he would understand?


It was a whole day of patrolling later, a pretty unbearbale day Claire Farron spent evading her silver haired colleague at all costs, a day spent without touching a single scrap of food, that she exited the Guardian corps station to finally make her way back home.

Never had she been more happy that her shift was over. Never had she longed for one of those quiet evenings more.

The truth was she needed time to be alone.

Needed time to think, to breathe. To digest everything that had happened that crazy night before.

And she needed to grab something to eat.

There was no use going over all of this without a single bite of food either. Nothing good could ever come from that.

She had almost made it, had already entered the road to Serah's beachhouse and could already see the safety of the Farron's driveway coming up ahead, when suddenly she felt the presence of another person just a few meters behind her.

Shit...

The silver haired first class emerging from the shadows of some nearby bushes as if materializing out of thin air, Claire Farron only had a forwarning of seconds before he was beside her.

'Claire... We need to talk.'

Oh how much she hated it. The way he always crept up on her like this, the way he always had to corner her, the way he always would assault her, especially with this.

And on an empty stomach too.

Lightning knew he was going to try and talk to her about their relationship and that ridiculous house, knew he would eventually bring things up again. It was the reason she'd been tying to evade him all day, had been the reason she'd wanted to go home so fast.

It was not that she didn't want to talk to him exactly. She just didn't want to talk about this. Not now. Not until she had had the time to look inside her heart to maybe find some answers.

Why couldn't he give her some time, some space, some – ugh...

Couldn't he see she needed time to think and space to breathe?!

'Please...'

The pink haired female picking up her pace, the silver haired first class made to keep up with her easily.

'I want you to move in with me. Please... At least consider it.' he said from somewhere right next to her.

It made Lightning stop dead in her tracks made her turn around to look at him.

There. He'd said he wanted her to move in with him. He hadn't even stopped to ask her whether it was what she wanted. He never had. Somehow he always presented her with a fait accompli, expecting her to act the way he had envisioned. It was one of his trademark character traits, something that might have come from a life spent in a leading military position. And it didn't apply to her alone either. Somehow he was doing this to all the people close to him. Zack, Cloud, her... Even Genesis and Angeal were no exception.

'No.' was all Claire Farron said before she turned to continue on her way home.

It was an instant later that she felt his hand on her wrist, felt him pull her to a stop.

'Why not?' he asked, mako green eyes burning into her's with pain, with longing.

They had reached the front lawn now.

The front door of her parent's beach house waiting up ahead Lightning wanted nothing more than to leap for it and disappear behind it.

If only she could get away from him, could get herself some peace, some quiet...

'Light...' He began somewhat pleadingly as he gave her hand a tiny squeeze.

'You do not like the house?'

The pink haired female only looked up at him incredulously.

'This isn't about the house Sephiroth...' she informed him somewhat carefully.

'Then what...?'

The pleading tone in her companion's voice bringing her back to the problem at hand, Claire Farron only shook her head.

How was she supposed to explain?

She didn't even really understand herself.

Alll she knew was that she couldn't. That none of it felt right.

That life he was picturing for the two of them, it was the life she had pictured for her sister, the life she'd pictured for herself as a kid. The one where you fell in love, got married, had kids and lived in pretty beach houses. The one she'd given up joining soldier, the life she'd accepted she could never possibly have. The life that had been ripped away from her the second she had signed a contract with Shin-Ra, when she'd gotten her first mako shot, when she'd been turned into a part extra terrestial killer machine.

And all thanks to him.

No she couldn't do this anymore. Couldn't even picture herself doing these things, living a life like that, a normal life. Not even in her dreams.

Normal lives were for normal people.

And they weren't normal people exactly.

'I am a monster, Sephiroth. I cannot be with you, settle, start a family. I cannot have this kind of life. This isn't me. Not anymore. You made sure of that.' Was what she finally settled for.

It was true, was what she felt there deep inside her heart.

'No.' He told her instantly, his mako eyes convinced, sincere.

'You can still have all that.' the silver haired first class insisted.

'We can still have all that, together.'

Giving a pained tormented sigh Claire Farron quickly shook her head.

That was exactly the point wasn't it?

Couldn't he understand?

He couldn't.

The truth was Sephiroth was ready for it. Had been waiting for it all his life maybe. Even if he'd never have admitted it even to himself.

The truth was he had never been as happy as he'd been in Bodhom. Those past few weeks, they easily qualified as the best times in his entire life.

In just those past few weeks, life had taken a 180 degrees turn for him.

He'd escaped the cruel leash of shinra. Escaped to a beautiful paradise full of sunny skies and sandy beaches, of love and friendship and laughter and of her. Lightning. It was more than he would ever have allowed himself to dream.

The truth was they fit perfectly. They belonged together, were bond for life already, if only by the jenova bond, but also through so much more.

All their adventures, all those battles, all those hardships, all the things they had gone through and overcome, all those things they had survived together, they had lead them here to exactly this point in space and time.

And he knew exactly what he wanted. Knew the steps to get there. Knew if only he tried hard enough, if only he would do all the right things, if only he could convince her, show her, if only he could get her to give him a chance then surely she would see it too.

Or so he thought.

The truth was for Claire Farron everything that had happened was confusing. It was all too much too soon.

The truth was she wasn't ready. Didn't know what she wanted. Didn't know any of the steps she should take next.

The truth was her life had been put on standby the day her parents died. Had been frozen the moment she had entered SOLDIER. All those days, all those months, all those years. Years she'd never thought she'd come back, that she'd make it out of there alive, year's she'd lived with the damocles sword, no the prospect, of her certain death looming over every mission, years she'd never allowed herself to dream or think of a normal life, yet a lovelife. Suddenly those years were past. Suddenly the construct of her life was gone had vanished into thin air, had released her into a world so vast, so open, that it threatened to crush her with the burden of endless opportunity.

The truth was that she wasn't ready.

Wasn't ready for any of it.

Part of her had been trained, honed to perfection. She'd become strong, relentless, fearless. Other parts of her had been malnutritioned, abandoned, starving. Hadn't developed whatsoever.

She didn't know how to love, how to be in a relationship, how to express her feelings. Didn't know who she was.

Had never really thought about it.

Because who was she really? Soldier First class Lightning, the relentless warrior, the battle angle, the part alien killer machine... Or Claire Farron, the sweet, innocent girl that grew up on the idyllic beaches of Bodhum.

That girl from the beaches, she had thought her dead. That she was gone. Had thought she'd burried her when she had entered Soldier, but suddenly she wasn't so sure anymore.

Those last few weeks there on the beaches of Bodhum spent with her friends her family, filled with peaceful sceneries, with family dinners, with long sunny afternoons lounging in the sun, they somehow had revived her, had reignited a flame inside her Lightning thought she'd never see burning again. The flame of hope, of peace, of joy.

Yes. That girl on the beach, there was still a chance for her. But no matter how hard she tried, no matter what would happen there, no matter how hard she wanted, there was no way for her to go back to her old ways. No way to forget about her past in SOLDIER. And this wasn't solely about the jenova cells either. The warrior, the killer, the monster was still part of her. She carried it inside her veins, her heart, her soul, inside her very being. There was no denying that, no reason to put lipstick on the pig.

Those two parts of her, the two sides of her identity, the innocent young girl she had once been, the relentless warrior, suddenly they were merging, blending, were forging themself into something Lightning wasn't even sure yet what it was going to be.

The truth was it all scared her, was overburdening her. Was all too much already.

And now she had to put up with Sephiroth's issues on top of it.

The truth was she wasn't ready. Not for any of the things Sephiroth expected from her. Wasn't even sure she wanted it. Not really.

The truth was she felt out of control when she was with him. It wasn't like she was making rational decisions. She wasn't acting like herself around him. She never had to begin with, he'd always had those crazed effects on her.

And the truth was that it scared her.

The truth was that her two worlds that in her head had never fit together were suddenly mixing, becoming one.

Midgar and Bodhum.

Two completely different worlds.

Claire and Lightning.

Two completely different identities that were never supposed to exist togeher.

And there was something else.

Looking over at the door, Lightning studied herself in the relfection of the glass inlet of the door seeing the slitted eyes that marked her the same as him. The same monstrous abomination.

They were one of a kind. The two of them the only ones. Ever. It wasn't really as though she'd had much of a choice when it came to picking a partner.

The truth was their shared cell abnormalty bonded them together. Bonded them for life. She knew that now. And no matter what she did. That connection would stay with her until the day she died.

The truth was the cells inside her would always be craving him. Would be craving the reunion.

Settling for being with him just because he was the only person she could potentially be with, the only person who could ever understand her, her predicament, her needs, Lightning wasn't sure it was exactly the right thing. Not if it was a bundle of extra terrestrial stem cells that told her to. Maybe she'd be better off alone. Maybe staying away from him as best as she could really was the most sensible thing to do in her position.

'Lightning I want you with me. I need you at my side. I really do.' the silver haired first class said, making her mind come back to reality.

She had been so lost in thought she had almost forgotten he was there.

Making up her mind Claire Farron made to shake her head.

'This won't work.' was what she told him and somehow she had a feeling it was true.

The truth was the two of them didn't really know each other. They actually didn't know each other at all.

They'd spent three nights together. Had shared a few dinners with their friends and family.

A few months ago they'd barely been on speaking terms.

It would be insane to consider it even without the dramas of their past looming above them all the time.

'We could at least try. Please, at least give it a try.' the silver haired first class looked down at her, eyes pleading.

'Sephiroth... I... We've only spent three nights. I don't even know you. I know nothing about you.' she tried somewhat tentatively.

'You know everything about me that there is to know.' he replied instantly, mako eyes gazing at her desperately.

That look in his eyes, it told her that it was useless. That there was nothing she could possibly say to dissuade him, to deter him from his intentions, his feelings.

It made the pink haired female give a soft defeated sigh.

'I could count the times where we had a decent conversation on the fingers of my left hand.' Lightning said somewhat irritatedly.

'The best part of the time we spent together you were busy taunting me, or worse..'

It made the silver haired first class advert his gaze, stare into the distance.

'I've changed.' was all he had to say to it.

'Did you?' Ligthning replied somewhat sceptically.

A few minutes passed where the older Farron sister was busy looking at her shoes and the silver haired first class stared the distance, as if fighting for control.

'Okay...' he said as he finally turned back to look at her, his gaze focused on her face again, he stepped forward to take her hand once more.

'You say you don't know me well enough... We can change that...We can get to know each other better as we go. One day at a time...' he said giving her a tiny hopeful smile.

'It doesn't work that way.' Lightning said as she pulled away and finally made towards the front door.

It was enough.

She had to get away from him. Had to get away from this.

There was no use in talking to him. No use in trying to make him see. None of the things she'd say would matter, none of the things she'd say could change his plans, his mind, his feelings.

Somehow he would always contradict her, would always find a way to turn her words around, find a way to keep his hopes up.

'Light please, let's talk this through.' the man behind her said somewhat pleadingly.

'Please... Just.. Just give me a chance. We can work things out. I know we can.' the silver haired first class looking at her with big pleading eyes Lightning was saved the discomfort of having to find a way to answer by the front door being blown open in their faces, revealing a slightly dissheveled looking Serah, and a mischiveous twinkle shining in her eyes.

'Oh, hi guys,' the younger of the Farron sisters greeted somewhat sheepishly.

'Sorry to interrupt... It's just that I heard voices ouside and I thought I'd check.' she said holding out the door behind her.

'That's okay.' Lightning said, forcing her face into an impassive mask, for once thankful that Serah was so curious.

Well... She'd probably been listening in on them from the other side of the door the little rat. Still, it was a very welcome interuption of the horrible conversation with the general, and it was an opportunity she was not going to waste.

Her sister holding open the door to grant her entrance, it was with her features forced into indifference that Lightning walked into the hall.

'Sephiroth will you stay for dinner? There's enough for all of us.' Serah offered as she looked back at the man on the front lawn expectantly.

The silver haired first class's tensed up features relaxing into the traces of a hopeful smile, Serah urged him on him with big blue encouraging eyes.

'I'd love to -' the silver haired first class began, but was immediately interupted by his pink haired colleague who'd turned on her way inside to throw him one of her warning soldier killer stares.

'He won't.' she said wiping that smile off his face in just an instance.

Her little sister only stared.

Looking back and forth between the two of them with a sense of dawning horror, Serah's eyes finally settled on her sister's retreating back.

'Yes... I... I'm sorry. I can't. I still have tons of paperwork to do.' the silver haired first class made up instantly.

It was a feeble excuse he knew.

Still, what was he supposed to do?

He couldn't force himself on their dinner, if Lighting didn't want him. Wouldn't even want to try. Where would be the point in that?

It was wishing Serah a good evening therefore that he turned around to leave, made across the front lawn and back onto the street that would lead him back to the center of Bodhum.


It was the moment that the front door had fallen into lock that Serah rounded on her older sister.

'What in Etro's name was that about?' she attacked her instantly.

'He clearly wanted to come!'

It made Lightning's patience snap.

'I don't want him to come.' was all she offered as an explanationg before she turned away towards the kitchen where she hoped to finally grab herself some food.

The words had come out a little bit too loud, too forcefull, a little bit to agitated. Lightning was aware.

Still, she had no patience left. No strenght.

'Wait!' Serah yelled behind her, 'Did you two fight?'

'Did something happen?'

'You're not breaking up with him are you?!'

It made the pink haired first class turn around abruptedly.

'I can't break up with him, Serah.' she barked at her.

'We have never been together in the first place.'

'But.. I thought...' Serah muttered somewhat stupidly.

'You thought wrong!' Lightning informed, taking a slice of bread and stuffing it into her mouth agressively.

'But Claire...'

No 'But Claire'. She'd had enough of 'But Claire's' to last her a lifetime.

Her little sister trying to set her up with Sephiroth... It was almost as bad as the real thing, maybe worse.

Really... This all was none of her business.

Did she ever comment on her relationship with Snow? Did she ever tell her what to do and what not? Did she ever stick her nose into Serah's private life like that? No she didn't. She had never done that, never would.

Why did everyone always have to push her around like that?

Why did everybody always expect her to do things she wasn't ready for?

Why couldn't they just leave her be?


General Sephiroth Crescent watched the Farron sisters argue through the kitchen window.

It wasn't that he had been planning to spy, wasn't as though he was stalking Lighning or anything. He had just looked up on his way down the driveway, had seen the two of them gesturing animatedly at each other and had been unable to look away.

Were they fighting because of him?

No that wasn't possible... He was interpreting too much into things.

And still.

The look Lightning had given him when Serah had asked him to join them for dinner, he couldn't get it out of his mind.

Why was she treating him like that?

What had he done wrong?

How had they gone from waking up in bed together cuddling and kissing to her not wanting to have him over for dinner in the course of just a few hours, minutes really?

Were had he gone wrong?

Was it because he had suggested them to get a pet or an alarm clock? Somehow everything had gone downhill from there...

Somehow even the thought of it was ridiculous.

No, it wasn't that either of course.

She'd said it wouldn't work between them.

Said they didn't really know each other.

That they never talked.

Then again, wasn't it her who never wanted to talk to him to begin with?

How often had he tried to to talk to her? At least a hundred times...

It was her who always pushed him away, evaded him, ignored him even.

How could she possibly blame him for any of that?

She couldn't.

Then why was she doing all of that. Why was she saying all these things to him?

Why had she stayed the night with him in the first place? Why snuggle up to him in the morning? Why do all those things to just run away a few minutes later and go back to ignoring his existence for the rest of the day?

Somehow none of this made sense.

But somehow it had always been like that, hadn't it? She loved him, she hated him. One second she wanted him to then just push him away the next.

Couldn't she make up her mind for once?!

No. Of coruse she couldn't. It had always been like that. Even before they had gotten intimate.

Had been like that between them all their time in SOLDIER.

One day they had gotten along fine. Then they had gone back to ignoring each other for weeks, hating each other with a vengeance even on plenty of occassions.

Was it going to be like this forever?

Did she even have feelings for him in the first place?

Somehow Sephiroth wasn't sure. If she did, she had never mentioned it.

She had sad she'd missed him, just the night before. True. But not once had she told him that she loved him back, no matter how often he confessed his feelings.

Was he nothing more than a fancy sex toy for her? Somehow he couldn't help but feel like one.

Just a toy she could conveniently take out whenever she felt like it then put him away into a drawer when she didn't need him anymore.

The thought of it made his heart clench up painfully.

Looking back up at the Farron's kitchen window he found the women inside had stopped arguing and caught him staring instead, found them both looking back him with unpleasantly surprised gazes.

For a few moments they stared at each other.

The pinkhaired warrior inside and the silver haired first class outside on the streets.

Then Lightning stepped forewards to draw the curtains shut.

No. That wasn't how things were going to be. Not with him. General Sephiroth Crescent had neither desire nor need to be anyone's sextoy. Ever.

She either wanted him. All parts of him. Or not.

She would have to make up her mind. And soon.