It's finally here...

Chapter 6 - Sharing

L

My hands are covering my face. What is she going to do? What will she think of me?

Is that laughter? Laughter? I turn around.

'I'm sorry, my brother? What about my brother?'

'I, well, I-' I am at a loss for words.

'Loth, are you trying to tell me that you, er, think about my brother?'

I knew I ought not to have said. Now she will ridicule me for my-

'Because I have no issue with it.'

What? My hands fall and I drop back into my seat.

'Oh Loth. You are so, well, so Gondorian.' She was still grinning.

'What do you mean?'

'I have had dozens of girls ask about my brother. Not a one of them has been so terrified as you!'

I slump in my chair.

'Told you I was being silly.'

'Nay, Loth. You are simply young and anxious. Look at me. Do I seem angry?'

'No.'

'Of course I am not! I have never been so flattered for my brother, if I am honest.'

I look back to the floor. My heart feels heavy still.

'Loth, I am happy.'

She smiles, but I cannot return the gesture.

'I am not, Eowyn. Why would this happen to me now? I am of age and meant to marry Faramir, not some handso-I mean, not some, er, other man.'

Her eyes were larger for a moment before she blinked and swallowed.

'You are marrying the Steward?' She tried to pull off a smirk.

'Well, I confess that I know not anymore. The War has changed much. I have not been told otherwise, though.'

Eowyn doesn't answer. She is staring out of the window again. The sun is nearly gone.

'What is it, Lamb?' She acts strangely whenever my cousin comes up in conversation.

'I was thinking about you, Loth.'

'Really?'

'Yes, are you not the one with a problem?'

'Oh, yes, yes of course.'

'How do you feel about your cousin?'

'He is...a very nice man. A gentleman. Serious, unless one catches him. I remember one early morning when I was nearly fourteen. Faramir and his brother had come to visit us in Dol Amroth. The night before, I had received the news that Faramir and I were to be married when I was of age. I had barely slept that night. When dawn came about, I decided to take a walk. I was talking to myself of duty and family when I nearly walked into him. I had wandered into the gardens without watching where I was going, you see. Well I was mortified, but he looked down at me, and Eowyn, he grinned ear-to-ear, knelt in front of me, and told me not to worry. He said to me, "the sun is dawning on a new day for you, dear cousin. See, this darkness will not endure."'

I had risen while I recounted the tale, lighting a lamp absentmindedly.

'I had never been so comforted in all my life, Eowyn. But I never saw that giddiness in him again. I know not why he was so happy that morning, or perhaps he awakes like that every morning. I suppose he is a wonderful man, Eowyn. I fear he is simply not the man for me.'

'And my brother is?' She is looking at her lap, her eyebrow nearly touching her hairline.

Is she serious?

'Eowyn, I-'

'No, Loth, I apologize. My mind...I confess I am not in the moment.'

I take her hand. 'Lamb, please, tell me your thoughts.'

She looks out of the window. It is dark now, but the moonlight illuminating her face makes her look more beautiful than sad. She looks peaceful, even with the war raging behind her cyan eyes. I wish I could help her.

She's inhaling, turning to me. Straightening her shoulders.

'Lothiriel, what do you think of the King?'

The King? What is he to do with anything?

'I confess I know very little of him. He seems kind and generous to his people. And something in him reminds me of the statues I have seen depicting the kings of old. Something stone-like in his gaze. Sometimes he seems perfect, but in an unsettling way. Do you find that to be true?'

'No, I had not noticed that quality in him. He is a fearsome warrior, great in his deeds and merciful to his soldiers.'

She rubs her arm absentmindedly.

'Yes, I suppose you would know that better than me. Eowyn, why would you ask me about him?'

'I think you are the only one who might understand.'

Something in her eyes told me what she meant.

'Do you love him, Lamb?'

She closes her eyes for a moment before responding.

'I don't know that I ever did, Loth.' She looks concernedly out of the window again.

'I think I simply wanted a way out. Coward.' She shook her head as she spat the word. 'I saw a man to relieve me of my troubles, to carry me into battle, to rid me of my subpar life.' Her voices rises in anger.

'A life that I should have seen as a gift.'

'Eowyn…'

'No. I should have, Loth. I should have seen that my fantasies were nothing more than that.'

I know not what to say. She isn't to blame. I reach out for her hand, but she jerks it away.

'Do not pity me. That is the worst thing you could do.'

'No it isn't. You should not scorn pity from a kind friend, Lamb.'

She looks back at me, her face softened.

'Yes, of course. How could I have forgotten so quickly.'

'Forgotten what?'

'You are very similar to your cousin, did you know?'

'Faramir? No, he is much smarter and braver than I.'

'Nay, let it not be true! You may be intrigued to know he said nearly the same words to me in March as you said just a moment ago.'

'Is that so?'

'Indeed, though I did not take them as much to heart as I should have. I think he might have loved me if I had.'

Love? This emotion is running rampant. Focus on your friend. She needs someone to talk to.

'Why do you say that he does not?'

'He told me that he did. He kissed me and asked if I loved him in return. But I could not return the words. I was afraid of what that meant. Who was I to receive such generous love? I wonder if I have missed my chance for happiness.'

'Oh Lamb, do not despair! There is hope yet, in these times.'

She sighs and takes my hand again.

'Thank you, Loth, but I tire of this subject. Please, tell me about your love life.'

'Well I haven't much of one right now, do I? I've barely spoken to-well-you know.'

She laughs and tells me not to worry about it.

'I suppose I could share one little story. Although I apologize for the dullness-it won't involve a kiss like yours did.'

'Then tell me a different one!' She winks and grins at me in jest.

'I cannot! I have only the one story.'

I chuckle a bit as she straightens her back in surprise, ready to listen.

'In that case, go on.'

I roll my eyes in mock annoyance.

'Right. There was one boy when I was ten-and-seven. I escaped my geography lesson once to meet with him. He was a baker's son in the lower levels of my city and cut quite the fine figure.'

She grins again. Her blue eyes have flecks of gold in the light of the lamp.

'I was to meet him on a secluded beach, but alas, his mother had followed him all the way and took him home by the ear once she saw who he was meeting. My tutor had inquired about my feigned illness besides, so once I returned, the whole house knew of my dalliance. I was so mortified that I never missed another lesson that year, even when I was legitimately ill!'

'Gondorians!' She wrung her hands in disbelief. 'If my uncle knew all the lessons I missed. Well, perhaps he did. I was always off riding with boys through the hills, singing and laughing in the wind.'

I ache for her experience.

'How wonderful that sounds.'

'Fear not, dear, you have so many years ahead of you to explore.'

'Not likely with all of these brothers around.'

'You think I allowed my brother to interfere? Of course, he was usually off with girls.'

'Was he?' My heart flutters.

'Oh, sorry. Er, not that much. Here and there. He would not have been, er, indecent anyway.'

I don't believe her, but there are more important issues to discuss.

'Oh, enough about that. Let us discuss how to discover whether Faramir is a lost cause.'

'Oh no, Lothiriel, don't.'

I hold up my hand, palm out.

'Come now, you cannot leave without knowing if he loves you still.'

'But you two are betrothed, are you not?'

I pull my hand up to my chin, as if I am thinking.

'Indeed. I am beginning to wonder about the state of our relationship.'

She shakes her head, trying not to laugh.

'Eowyn, if you love him, then-'

'But I am yet unsure if I love him!'

She sounds exasperated, but excited at the same time.

'Shh, Lamb, we haven't all night. The feast starts in just an hour!'

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I hope you followed all of that dialogue! Next chapter is one of my favorites! I hope you enjoy it, too.

-Anarwyn