The day after was always a tense affair because they all knew exactly what was going to happen.

John was going to leave again and not come back a bit longer.

They procrastinated for as long as possible. They slept in late, curled around one another in the bed and talking about whatever they didn't manage to catch up on yesterday.

But then their stomachs would growl and they had to get up and get ready to go get breakfast. John was the one to get Dean ready, just wanting to have a few extra moments with him. Dean in turn clung hard to him, not wanting to let go.

They went down the street to get breakfast, the diner had chocolate chip pancakes that Dean was in love with and barely refrained from using his hands to eat.

"He's like this at home." Mary told him, passing along wet napkins to John so that he could wipe the sticky residue off of Deans fingers. "I swear I taught him his manners."

John would slip away to pay for the breakfast, knowing Mary wouldn't fight about it in front of Dean but she still stared at him in disapproval.

"You don't have to do that, you don't get that much money." she did whisper to him when they left the diner. He just smiled and kissed her cheek.

Going back to the motel room Mary cleaned the rest of the room, gathering all of their things and putting it into the trunk of her impala. At that time John took off the clothes she had given him and folded them to be put away as well, grabbing his suit from the corner of the room and putting it back on, not caring how rumpled and wrinkled it was.

Once she was busy with the trunk, and the hood hid him just a bit that he needed, he reached into his bag and took out an envelope, pretty much all the money he had made from his part time job and side hustling at bars that he had. He opened the glove compartment and put it there, for Mary to find.

He knew that she would try to fight him on this so he tried to keep it hidden until the point that he was gone. She forever claimed that she didn't need his money, she had her own, and it was his money.

Yes, it was his money and he wanted to put it towards Dean and Mary in every single way. It in no way made up for his absence and not being there but at the very least he knew that she would use it for Dean.

Mary was an incredibly proud person, she'd never use the money on her, even if she had no other choice.

But when it came to Dean he knew that she would be willing to swallow her pride completely and do whatever it took to make sure he was okay.

A curse of being a parent she had joked with him one time.

So he put the envelope in the glove compartment, right under her map that he knew she was going to pick up and look at later on, and closed the compartment, glancing as Mary closed the trunk and walked around the car to the driver's seat. She looked at him suspiciously but didn't say anything.

John turned around to Dean in the backseat who had been watching and winked at him, making him giggle.

"What are you two doing?" Mary asked in amusement, starting the car. The engine roared to life and Dean grinned at the sound.

"Nothing." John said simply, taking her hand in his and kissing the back of it. He rubbed his thumb against hers and took a deep breath.

They always hated this part and so did Dean, he unclicked himself from his carseat and moved up to the front, falling into Johns lap and curling tightly around him.

John held him close with one arm, holding onto Marys hand with his free one. Mary scooted over the rest of the way so that she could place her head on his shoulder as well.

This was the hardest part and he hated it deeply, he always came close to just say screw it, renouncing everything that the men of letters stood for, and just stay with Mary and Dean.

But he also knew that Mary would never let him do that. After what felt like too short a time John had to pull away, gently shifting Dean back into Marys arms. Dean clung to him for a moment but then let go, eyes wide and his upper lip shaking slightly.

John leaned in to kiss Deans forehead and then up to kiss Mary once more. "I'll call you as soon as I can get away again." he murmured. He felt Mary nod and he swallowed hard.

"I love you" he whispered, he reached for Dean as well. "I love you too Dean."

"I love you daddy." Dean told him, already sounding like he was close to crying. John felt his heart clench but he pushed past the pain.

With a great force he pulled away from the both of them, managing a small smile which Mary returned to him, despite how shaky it looked.

"Get home safe." he said. "Love you both." before he could change his own mind he got out of the car and walked to his that was parked a few feet away. It was hard to force his feet to walk the rest of the way until he was in his driver's seat.

He looked down at his ring that he had thrown to the side and reached down to pick it up. He stared at it, stared at the aquarian star that was the men of letters symbol, tradition stated he put it on his right hand on the ring finger, above even the wedding ring that he was going to wear once he was married.

He slid it onto his left hand and started the car, slowly inching out of the parking lot and watching Mary do the same. He waved at them, seeing her wave back and they got back onto the road; Mary going to the right and him going to the left.

He was already trying to figure out when the next time he could see them again.

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