"Mama?"
Dean's voice broke through the trance that Mary had been, blinking and looking down at Dean at her side. "Yes baby?"
Dean was gripped at her pants and looking up at her worriedly. "Okay?" he asked.
Mary smiled once more and wiped her hand before she reached down and stroked at his hair. "I'm okay." she told him. "Want a snack?"
Dean didn't look convinced but nodded, still holding onto her as she moved to grab an apple and a new knife, cutting it into pieces and putting it on a plate before handing it Dean. Watching him carefully hold it he moved to sit at the table, sitting and slowly eating each piece.
Sighing Mary turned back to what she had been doing, picking up the potato again and looking at the cookbook she had propped up. She was a horrible cook, there was no doubting that, but she was trying and it was mostly edible things that Dean didn't complain about so that had to count for something.
Her mind kept going to what her dad had told her, about another hunter that was willing to be with her despite having two kids by someone else. They had even left his number with her attached to the refrigerator with a magnet and she kept glancing at it.
She loved John, she knew that she did, and she also knew that he loved them. Their relationship had changed from just a semi-friends-with-benefits to an actual...relationship more or less.
More on the less side than the more side.
Where was the relationship with her and John even going? She kept pushing him away and convincing him to focus on his studies and whatever else it entails to become a Man of Letters.
But what was going to happen once he was? He wouldn't be freer, in fact it would be the opposite. He'd have more responsibilities and more duties to take care of, he was barely able to get away now, what would happen once he was sworn in?
Putting everything down Mary gripped at the counter, her eyes unseeing at some point at her wall. What was going to happen to them once John became a man of letters?
They made no promises to one another, there was never talk about marriage or continuing the relationship, it was always goodbye until the next phone call that let her know to go out and get a motel room for them for the night.
She wouldn't mind if it was just her, she had no desire to settle down back then, had no desire to even stay in one place for too long. She had been too busy sowing her oats and killing anything that needed to be killed.
But it wasn't just her anymore, it was Dean, it was the baby that was coming in six months. It was the terrifying understanding that no, she wasn't going to be able to do this on her own for much longer.
The last month and a half she had been pregnant with Dean she had been in a lot of pain and had immediately been put on bedrest by a doctor, of course she had been with her parents, of course she had moved in with them immediately so that they could help.
Her body was scared and hurt from all the hunts over her life and as a result, pregnancy is a lot harder on her than the average woman. She had been stabbed in her stomach and sides enough that it did some sort of permanent damage and she was more than certain that it was going to be the same with this pregnancy too.
She wasn't even able to tell John, she didn't have a number to contact him. It was too risky, if the wrong person picked up, so all there was was that he had her number and when he'd leave town he'd call from a payphone or a diner to let her know.
She couldn't even let him know when she had gone into labor. She had birthed Dean with her mom in the room gripping her hand tightly and it was only two days later that John called that she was able to tell him.
He immediately came to the hospital, almost in tears and sobs that he had missed it, hugging her so tightly that it hurt.
She glanced at Dean who was staring out the window, just slowly eating his apple pieces, legs swinging.
John...as much as she loved him and as much as she knew he loved her...he was an uncertainty. He was an enigma that in all honesty, she couldn't depend on.
And that hurt, it hurt her to the core, more so than she could ever imagine something hurting. Even the pain of childbirth was minuscule compared to this.
Rubbing at her chest she brought her hand up and bit at her thumbnail, she was terrified about what to do, or what could she do? What were her options and quite frankly? Her time was running out to make a choice.
She couldn't help but look at the number on the refrigerator again, shifting in place.
It would just be a phone call...maybe not even five minutes long. It couldn't hurt, just to see her other options, just to figure out what she could and couldn't do.
She hasn't been this nervous in a very long time.
Taking a deep breath and rubbing at her stomach she picked the number and took the phone off of the wall. Making sure that Dean was still entranced by whatever was happening outside she quickly dialed the number, entangling her fingers into the phones wires as it rang.
"Hello?"
Her heart skipped a beat and she continued on before she could lose her nerves. "Hi, Bobby Singer? This is Mary Campbell, my dad told me about you."
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