Mary didn't even think about checking the hallway to make sure that they were alone, she just reached for him with one arm, wrapping it around him tightly.

John did the same, wrapping his arms around the both of them and holding them close, a choked sound escaping him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he whispered to them, tightening his grip.

She felt Dean squirm a bit in her arm, a confused sound escaping him as he tried to figure out what to do. "Mama?" he whispered, tugging at her, rubbing at his eyes once more.

Mary turned to him and smiled. "It's okay now, we're not playing the game here." she told him. His relief was almost palpable as he turned back to John and immediately clung to him.

"Daddy." Dean got out, voice shaking as he started to cry again, clinging to him now. "Daddy."

"It's okay, it's okay buddy." John whispered, holding Dean close to him, reaching for Mary as well. She didn't try to resist it, she didn't want to.

She did tug them into her apartment however, just to give them some sort of privacy. John paused to grab a bag off of the ground that she hadn't noticed before, but then quickly followed them inside.

Closing the door tightly Mary quickly moved to join John and Dean once more, not wanting to let go. And based on how tightly Dean was holding onto him, he felt the same.

"What are you doing here?" Mary couldn't help but ask, pressing into him and just holding him. "How did you even…?"

John moved enough to lift the bag once more, setting it on the ground. "Your mother, she asked me to bring you a few things." he said. Mary immediately felt a warmth course through her chest at the thought. "She said you left so fast that she didn't have time and asked me to bring it to you."

Mary almost felt like laughing from the emotions coursing through her, the disbelief, the utter sheer incredibility of the whole thing.

But most of all, that John was here. Here in her apartment with her and Dean and in the end? Nothing else mattered, at least not for now.

The three of them curled up on the couch, both Mary and Dean were all but laying on top of Johns chest and legs to fit them all.

"I knew that it was going to be hard." Mary whispered, reaching out to entwin their fingers together on top of Deans back. The stress and emotions of the day had finally caught up with him and he had fallen asleep, laying on top of them. "I didn't think it would be this hard."

"Me too, I thought that we'd just be able to see each other a lot easier. Not have to deal with the secrecy as much." John whispered. "But today...it was torture. I just wanted to go to you, to Dean. I don't know how we managed."

"Barely. We managed barely." Mary said, curling more into him. "And Dean took it the hardest."

"He doesn't get it, it's not fair to him." John said. She felt him take a deep breath. "I want to leave the men of letters."

Mary's eyes widened and her heart stopped for a moment. "We've talked about this, you can't just leave your family." she reminded him.

"I'm tired of the secrecy Mary, I'm tired of putting the both of you through this." John said, looking down at her so that their eyes could meet. "I want to come home to you and Dean, I want to be a part of your lives."

"We want that too." Mary said softly. "But you can't just leave your family John, you're a legacy, like me. It's not so simple to just...leave."

"They'll have to understand." John said simply. "You two, three, are my family too. I want to be here with you, I need to be here with you."

"You're in the last stages of your initiation, you are not throwing away years worth of training and learning." Mary told him. "I'm not going to let you."

John looked like he wanted to continue arguing about it but sighed, pulling her and Dean closer to him. "Mary, I don't know what's going to happen once this is over."

"I don't either." Mary said, bringing her head and turning it to put it on his chest, just listening to his heartbeat. "So for now...let's just enjoy this. For as long as we can."

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