Having John practically living with her was both a dream come true and a nightmare that she needed to face every single day. She loved waking up to finding John in the kitchen having bought them breakfast, either bagels or donuts or breakfast sandwiches. They would eat together and then spend the rest of the day together unless Mary had to go to work. Then it would just be him and Dean spending the day together.
Then she'd come home and John had heated up some of the food that her mom had sent over, they'd talk about the monsters he was supposed to be studying and Dean would talk about their day as well, Mary would talk about the old ladies that clicked their tongues at her when they saw her stomach and ringless finger.
It was everything she'd ever wanted. It was domestic and very family and normal like. It was her, John, Dean, and the bun in her oven. Even the pain in her back lessened every day, mainly due to John massaging it every night before he'd leave to go back to her parents house.
Because he didn't sleep over, they put Dean to bed, sometimes they had sex, sometimes they cuddled, sometimes they just talked. But he always, always, always went back to her parents house to sleep there. He left late at night and came back early in the morning.
And that was the nightmare part. That he was so close and yet still so far away from her. That she couldn't go to sleep with his arms around her and wake up to him sleeping right there. It was a strict reminder of the fact that they weren't really together and they wouldn't be together.
It was a reminder that all too soon this was going to come to an end and then she wasn't sure when she'd see him again.
Mary sighed, hand automatically rubbing at her lower back as she stared at the crib, blanket in hand. She carefully tucked the blanket into the mattress, smoothing it out slowly.
They couldn't avoid this forever, they had to talk about it. She needed to know what was going to happen and she needed to know what to prepare for. Taking a deep breath she cracked her neck from side to side and fluffed the pillow in the crib one more time before she left her room where the crib was for now, going to Deans room where he was with John.
Mary stayed in the doorway, just watching the two of them with a smile. Dean all tucked into bed with his stuffed cat and John on the edge of the bed, reading a story to him in his low voice. Mary closed her eyes to listen to him read, wishing that she had something to record his voice so that they could listen to it when he won't be here.
Her eyes opened as the story ended and Dean had fallen asleep somewhere during the story. John carefully moved off of the bed, stroking over Deans head and leaning down to kiss it, catching her gaze with a smile of his own. Moving as gracefully as he could, he left the room, closing the door behind him.
"Hey." John said softly, hand coming up to cup her cheek and kiss her. She leaned into the touch and kiss. "You alright?"
Mary took a deep breath. "We need to talk." she said. The words automatically made her tense up and John freeze for a moment but then he nodded.
"Okay." he said, nodding once more. He placed his hand on the small of her back and together they went to the kitchen. Mary went to the cabinet to pour him a drink, staring at it longingly before she handed it to him and poured herself some water to drink instead.
"Hate being good about this." she grumbled, looking down at her stomach. "You better be worth it."
"I'm sure they will be." John said, reaching out to touch her stomach before he sipped at his drink. "Okay, what are we talking about?"
"Us." Mary said looking at him. "We need to talk about us and...where we're going."
"How far ahead are we planning to go?" John asked, bringing a chair out for her to sit down on and sitting down at the table.
"As far as we can." Mary said, sitting and rolling the water bottle between her hands. "Specifically, we need to talk about when you become a full fledged Man of Letters...and what that means to us, and especially to Dean."
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