Despite being the one to start the conversation Mary wasn't sure how to continue it. She reached out for John's hand and he took hers, holding onto one another tightly in silence.
"John." Mary finally started, searching for the right words to say. "We started this...all about sex and only sex. We didn't expect...all of this to happen."
"And I'm happy that it did." John said, squeezing her hand. "I'm really happy, I love you Mary. I love Dean."
"And we love you." Mary said, rubbing her thumb against his hand. "The point of what I'm saying is that...we never expected this relationship to progress like it has."
"No, we didn't." John agreed quietly.
"Well...what do the Men of Letters say about one of you guys and a Hunter being together?" Mary asked, looking up at him.
"Honestly...nothing." John said truthfully. "But I think that's mainly because when the rules were being set the Letters were all men and...Hunters were all considered to be men so I don't think they believed that there would be any kind of relationship."
"Sounds sexist as hell." Mary said bluntly, sipping her water. "And rude, definitely rude."
John shrugged, a smile tugging at his lips. "The Letters back in the day weren't the most progressive of sorts." he said. "They're better now. Marginally."
"Marginally." Mary agreed. "There's currently, what, two whole females being initiated right now?"
John looked away, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "One." he said quietly. "The other one was...encouraged to leave."
Mary breathed out and shook her head. "Moving on from that." she said, moving her jaw from side to side. "Cause the Men of Letters are still sexist douchebags but that's not important right now."
Taking a deep breath she continued. "I want to know...where exactly we, this is going." she said, motioning between the both of them. "I want to know so I can prepare. And most of all, so that I can prepare Dean."
John looked pained at that, nodding as he tried to think. "Mary I'm going to be honest, I have no idea." he said truthfully. "I want to say that we're still going to be together but I can't guarantee that. For all I know once I'm initiated I'll be sent to a completely different location."
Mary wrinkled her nose at that. "How many other locations are there?" she couldn't help but ask.
"There's bunkers all over the country, at least fifteen that I know of." John said. "And I could be sent to any off them."
Mary swallowed hard at the thought of John being sent somewhere else, trying to push it out of her head and failing. "How do we explain any of this to Dean?" she asked. "He was already freaking out about you being at my parents and not being able to say anything when they're around. And if you're sent somewhere else." a sharp pain shot through her lower stomach and back and she bit back a wince as best as she could.
"I don't know." John said once more. "I wish I had answers, I wish I knew what to do, but I don't. You're not letting me quit the Letters."
"Because that's your legacy and I'm not letting you leave what you love." Mary reminded him. ""Not even for me."
"But not even for Dean?" John asked her, immediately knowing where to hit. "Not even for the little one?" he nodded at her stomach.
"Low blow, really low blow." Mary told him. "But yes, even then."
John moved to hold onto her hand with both of his, clasping her hand between them. "Tell me what to do." he said. "And I'll do it."
Mary stared at him and moved both of her hands so that she could hold onto his, entwining their fingers together.
"You're going to spend the remainder of your time here." Mary told him. "You're going to be a good dad for Dean. A good boyfriend for me. Then my dad is going to take you on a few hunts as the Letters want and then..." she took a deep breath. "Then you're going to leave back to the bunker where you'll be initiated completely and...most likely...we're not going to see each other for a very, very long time."
"So does that mean once I leave, we're breaking up?" John asked, his voice shaking slightly.
Mary closed her eyes and nodded. "It means we're going to break up." she confirmed.
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