It almost seems like they've been talking about this for hours and Mary was more than drained and Dean was almost asleep on her lap.
"You are acting like it's the end of the world to be a member of the Letters." Henry half protested. "And quite frankly I have to say that it's a lot less dangerous than being a hunter."
"At least hunters are capable of defending themselves." Samuel shot back. "At least one grandchild is going to know how to handle a weapon."
"We are quite capable, we just choose not to." Henry defended. "Don't pretend that being a hunter is a safe occupation."
"It's not safe, but that's the whole thing, that we know what to do and how to handle it." Samuel said, fingers twitching slightly.
"Boys, time to zip up and relax." Deanna said, standing and moving between them. "This is just something we need to understand, Dean is going to become a Man of Letters, and Sammy is going to be a hunter."
"Wouldn't be bad to have both of them as hunters." Samuel muttered under his breath.
"Or both as a Man of Letters." Henry shot back at him, making Samuel start once more.
Everyone's voices started to blend together around her until it was all just an incessant humming surrounding her. All she could hear was her own heartbeat going faster and faster until it was overwhelming.
Feeling like she was no longer in control of her body, Mary just tightened her grip around Dean and held him to her, slowly moving towards her room. If anyone called her or called her name, she couldn't hear them.
She moved her and Dean to her bedroom, closing the door behind her, not sure if she had locked it or not. The both of them sat down on the edge of the bed, with her just staring off at some point in the distance.
All she could see is her Dean, getting farther and farther away from her. Becoming a Man of Letters and being initiated into it, having to follow their traditions and their customs.
All she could see was Sammy, baby Sammy that was in danger of not even being born. Her mind painted an image of him, giving him more of John's features than her own. All she could see was that child being raised the same way she had been.
Her children, her boys, her little boys. Being so driven and pushed into the supernatural with no choice. Having no other option, the exact opposite of what she had wanted.
She just wanted a normal life. She had just wanted to give her babies a normal life. No hunting. No Letters. No Supernatural.
Now she can't even do that. She doesn't even have a chance to give them a normal life. She's not even sure if she could even keep this pregnancy for the remainder of the time. She was a horrible mother and-
A sharp pain in her lower back cleared her thoughts just enough to come back to the present, bending over as her arms wrapped around her stomach.
"Mama?" she could hear Dean whisper to her, small hands touching her arm. "Mama?"
Mary breathed out slowly, looking down at her son. Dean looked worried and almost scared as he watched her. "Mama okay?" he asked her.
She wasn't even sure how to answer that, she wanted to comfort him and assure him but even she couldn't find the words to say. As she looked down at him, all she could see was him in the future. A Man of Letters, suited up and lost to her.
A whimper escaped her as she stared down at Dean who was starting to look more and more scared with each moment that she didn't answer. When she felt tears gather in her eyes she could see Dean start to cry as well.
"Mama." he whimpered, reaching for her. Mary immediately reached for him, holding him close, as close as she could. She could feel him start to cry and she rocked him back and forth, just holding him.
Gritting her teeth when another shot of pain rushed through her, trying to breathe through it. Letting one hand go she reached for her own stomach, trying to calm down for the baby's sake.
It wasn't working. Her heart was beating fast enough to shoot out of her chest and the pain was starting to grow. She couldn't breathe and her arms were starting to shake.
The last thing she saw before her vision went black was John coming into the room and rushing towards her.
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