Mary just stared at the wall, not really seeing anything. Logically, she knew that she should get up and immediately start moving, start doing what she had planned to do.

What she had to do. For Dean. For Sammy.

She had planned, she had decided, she had made up her mind.

It was just...it was harder than she expected. Harder to realize that yes, she needed to do this.

"Mary, hey, I just got back from talking to them."

One step at a time. That's all she had to do. One step and then another. And another. And another. And another.

So she stood up from the couch. There, that was one step done. She took a step forward towards her room. That was another step done. She took another step.

Her hands went to her stomach, cradling the small bump as best as she could.

"They said no, they're actually pissed off that we asked them about this."

She finally managed to reach her room and went to pull out her luggage and duffel bag. She took out another bag and just went around the room to gather whatever she might've missed and anything else that she needed.

She then did the same for Dean's room, feeling her son's eyes on her as she moved around. From the corner of her eyes she could see that he was holding his stuffed kitty and was otherwise sitting quietly, just watching her.

She brought the luggage out to her car and put them into the trunk, making sure to keep the other two and a small bag of weapons next to her on the front seats.

She shook slightly, her legs shaking, and she reached out to grip at the car, giving herself a moment to steady herself before she went back inside.

"Look, we'll get through this. We'll figure it out."

She looked around the apartment, feeling a deep bone loss that she couldn't quite choke down. This had been their home, hers and Deans, ever since a couple months before he had been born. This is where she had planned to raise Sammy too.

This is where the possibility of her and John staying together was.

And actually leaving it...it was hard to really one hundred percent wrap her head around.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, going to Dean's room.

"Let me just get back and we'll talk about this."

"Mama?" she heard Dean call to her. She didn't say anything as she crossed the room and picked him up, just holding him close to her. He wrapped his arms around her, still holding onto his stuffed kitty.

"Mama?" Dean called to her again, curling in close to her. "Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." Mary whispered, stroking his head. "Okay. Everything's okay baby." she kissed the side of his head, just holding him for another moment. "Everything is going to be okay."

"Mary, it's going to be okay."

Swallowing hard she started back towards the car, stopping for a moment to take one more look around the apartment, feeling something crack inside of her.

She turned away and locked the door, going to her car. She placed Dean into his carseat in the back, before she went into the driver's seat, just sitting there for a few silent minutes.

One step at a time, one step at a time.

"Mary?"

Mary took a deep breath and not letting herself think or look back, she turned the car on and got onto the road, driving straight towards Nebraska.

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