5

We shopped for many different ingredients, cold cuts, drinks and more that he liked and that I liked. From desserts to appetizers. I knew some ideas from Pinterest would give me some cooking ideas.

Billy had been calling me all day and I had been ignoring his calls since Rafael was with me most of the day. He even texted me. I felt bad for ignoring my friend's messages, but I didn't want to get into another argument with Rafael.

'I heard you were out of jail where are you?' was the last message I was able to sneak and read.

'Hey why aren't you answering my texts, did I do something?' I winced and sent him a quick text.

'I'm fine. I'll call when I can'

"Billy Conlan is pretty eager to get ahold of you." Rafael said catching my attention. We were in the car driving home now from this game store. I was going to get a Wii system. The games helped me wind down from school. My roommate had one and she was kind enough to let me use hers without really having to ask. I was going to ask to buy it from her before getting arrested. Rafael argued about it, saying it was for kids. It pissed me off and I planned to buy it for myself, but he bought it for me to make me happy. I said I would get it, but he insisted. I looked back up wondering how he even knew Billy was messaging me? Obviously, I was looking at my phone too much, or at least sneaking to.

"When you were in the dressing room at the mall, I saw he had messaged you… 12 times. You also have 16 mixed calls from him." he added. I bit the inside of my cheek checking my phone to see he was right.

"He's worried about me." I said. He nodded slowly.

"You should call him… and tell him what happened." he advised. I shook my head.

"No! I... I need to talk to him in person." I replied. He now shook his head.

"No. That's not a good idea, you don't need to have any contact with him." he said. I arched a brow.

"Why? You think something's going to happen between us?" I asked. He nodded quickly.

"Yes that's exactly what I think. I have seen Conlan's matches. He doesn't like to lose and neither do I. I don't need him causing issues between us." he said. I rolled my eyes.

"You're just afraid we will have sex or something." I said. Before I could even think, the car came to a screeching halt, and my body jerked forward. I was glad I had my seat belt on or my head would have hit the glass. Cars stopped behind us honking like crazy and I almost panicked.

"What the hell!" I asked looking at Rafael to see a look of pure anger on his face. His grip on the steering wheel was so tight, his knuckles were completely white. My eyes widened wondering what the hell was going on.

"Please… do not ever… talk about having sex…with another man… in front of me... again." he commanded looking at me with his eyes. I blinked and looked down swallowing some. "It's hard enough trying to block the images of another man… touching you. You talking about it isn't helping." I shook my head.

"I didn't say I was going to up and do it I-"

"Stop, just stop, enough!" he snapped looking at me. I grew immediately quiet and just looked away. I couldn't believe he was taking this so seriously. Billy was not my boyfriend. He was my friend of many other men and women. He didn't get to determine my friends now too!

'Alpha's do not want to hear your explanations. They just want you to do as you're told. That is your role as a beta, to be submissive and nothing else'. Once we got to his house, I just helped bring everything inside in silence. Rafael would ask me to hand him something and I would do it, but not answer him when he thanked me. Once it was done, he looked at me.

"Amara, I'm sorry-" but I didn't want to hear it. I just left the kitchen and went upstairs to my new room. I closed my door and just moved to my new bed. I sat down on the side and just curled my fingers together and just stared off into space. I moved to my pocket to get my phone, but I only felt empty pockets. My eyes widened, and I looked up and remembered I left it on the counter top in the kitchen. I mumbled and got up and left the room. I moved down the stairs only to hear Rafael on the phone.

"Hello, Billy Conlan. This is Assistant District Attorney Rafael Barba… yes I know whose phone this is. It's Amara's phone, and I am going to have to ask you to stop all communication with her… No. I am not her attorney, I am her alpha and that alone is above any reasons you have to have contact with her." he said. My eyes widened, and I hit the last step and turned to see him still in the kitchen on my phone. "I understand you and her are friends, but I am just telling you that all of that stops now. That means no texting her, no calling her, and definitely no visiting her. If I even catch you harassing her, then I will put out a restraining order against you, and I am not above suing."

I just stood there and listened to him threaten my best friend. He hung up my phone and put it down. It was quiet for a second and he turned and whipped his head at me. He looked just as shocked as I was, like a child who had just took something and was caught by his mother. He was speechless, his lips moved a bit trying to form words, but I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear anything form him. I just shook my head and ran back up the stairs. I moved back to my room and just slammed the door and moved over to my bed and just fell on it and cried.

He lied. He was such a liar. Albert was right. Alphas were dangerous and couldn't be trusted. All they wanted to do was own your mind, body and soul. I had to fight this. I had to get out of this agreement somehow. I remained in my room most of the night. I came out only to quietly get my phone. He was lucky it was still where he had set it down. I even snuck back to my room. Just as I made it to the door Rafael's doorknob jiggled and I quickly rushed into the room before it opened.

I was just getting out of the shower and for once I felt relaxed. That shower jet nozzle spray was amazing. I had on a lavender lace gown that I had already owned in the past and was combing my hair. I had my radio on. In the Night, by the Weekend was playing. I moved over to the window and just stared out it for a moment. I inhaled some wondering what I was even going to do this weekend.

I felt it was only a matter of time before members of AntiDom found me. The only question was when and how. Were they even worried about me? Did it even matter at this point?

I heard the door open, and I could see Rafael coming in from the reflection of the window. He was wearing nothing but red boxers. For an old man his body was surprising toned. How was I supposed to even tell any of them about the deal we had? Oh that's right, if I didn't go along with it I would go to prison. I tried to let my mind wander somewhere else. I looked up at the stars as they were everywhere. Maybe I could count them or even explore the ceiling when he was on top of me. I was already lost in my mind, because I jumped a bit at hands on my shoulders. I looked down a bit look at him through the window.

He leaned forward and kissed my right shoulder blade. I did my best not to move jump from his hold.

"I'm sorry." he whispered rubbing my shoulders softly. I was frozen, I didn't want him to touch me.

"For what exactly?" I asked, my voice breaking. He looked up at me with soft eyes.

"For yelling at you earlier, for answering your phone and saying what I said to Conlan without your permision." he replied gently. I still didn't reply. What was he expecting me to do?

"I don't want you to not enjoy this… I was hoping to do this when you were ready." he said. I felt his lips trailing up my shoulders and soon over my neck. I turned my head away only for it to appear that I was exposing my neck to him.

"And if I am never ready?" I asked nervously looking down. Now I felt his tongue glide over my jugular causing me to shut my eyes.

"Mm we could wait," he hummed gently, his right hand moving over my stomach rubbing it gently, "But the longer I wait, the instincts inside me grow. The need to claim you will be so strong after a while, and I will eventually take you without your consent. And I really want to avoid that by any means necessary." I thought about his words keeping my eyes closed for a moment.

"Just do what you need to do." I replied. Now he slowly turned me around, so I was facing him. My eyes shut even tighter now, a whimper of fear escaping me.

"Amara… look at me please." he said, his tone so weak it actually sounded like he was begging. Slowly I opened my eyes looking up at him. I would not be afraid to show him that I did not want this. He saw this in my eyes and sighed looking away. "I do not want you to feel you have to submit to my every wish. I want you to want me. I want you to want to do things with me." he said. A part of me wondered if he was really serious. I looked away in thought.

"I do not know if I can give you what you ask… if you truly have to force me then you will have to force me." I said with pain in my voice. Rafael shook his head placing his hands over my face and forcing me to look at him, the pain and confusion evident on his face.

"Why would you do that to yourself? Put yourself in a position to be… forced?" he asked.

"Because when the day comes that I want to lie with someone I want it to be because I wanted to lie with them. I want it to be my choice to continue or back out when I want to." I said.

"Are you saying you can't do that with me?" he asked. I didn't have the answer to that.

"I don't know because I don't know you." I replied honestly. Rafael looked down at himself for a moment as if searching for the answers anywhere but in my face.

"Aside from the obvious, what do I have to do to make you happy?" he asked. The obvious, he meant the obvious of letting me go home right now and back to my life and never having to see him again?

"How about letting me live my life as if I wasn't your beta?" I asked. He winced and frowned running his hands over his face and walking away from me in annoyance.

"I cannot do that!" he said. "Look I can buy you clothes, jewelry, anything you want. But I cannot act like you aren't mine." I shook my head.

"I don't want you to buy me things. Money doesn't matter to me." I exclaimed. He gave a gentle scoff.

"Well I am lucky a woman who isn't materialistic. I guess I can return the game system and the clothes I bought you then." he said.

"If that would make you happy then fine. I can buy what I need." I replied.

"It's not about what makes me happy. I want to make you happy!" he snapped. I could feel the obvious tension in the room. We've been together for too long today and now we were both tired of each other even though he wouldn't admit it.

"You want to know what would make me happy in this very moment?" I asked. I could tell he was afraid to ask. I just motioned to the door. "Just go. Sleep in your room tonight. We both just need to rest from each other." He winced at my words and sighed before nodding.

"Fine. I have tomorrow off, can I take you to breakfast?" he asked.

"I like to work out before breakfast." I told. He nodded running his fingers through his hair.

"Can I go with you? Not to keep tabs on you or anything, just to get out?" he asked. I looked him over some. I could say no and send him to bed stressed, but I wasn't that kind of person who would purposely try to bring stress upon someone's soul like that. Maybe I should to Rafael for trapping me in a relationship with him, but he has not been cruel to me yet. Maybe I should wait for that to happen before shutting down from him completely. I just nodded.

"Alright." I replied. His eyes suddenly sparkled, and he nodded moving to the door.

"Alright then. Wake me up when you get up no matter how hard I'm sleeping. Hit me if you have to." he said with excitement. I just nodded awkwardly not expecting him to be excited. "Good night." I nodded.

"Good night." I replied gently.