"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"
"What is it this time, you pest!"
"Queen Beryl! y u gotta b so r00d!"
"Go on..."
"Ok, so it turns out that humans aren't the only organisms on Earth that use energy!"
"Go on..."
"There are these things called 'ants,' and it is their mating season!"
"Teeheehee 'mating.' Go on..."
"So if we can steal the ants' energy, we can awaken that big blob thing and take over the world!"
"That's brilliant, Kunzite! You get a pay raise!"
"But Queen! I'm Jadei-" but Queen Beryl was so excited about Kunzite's brilliant new plan that she warped him away without even looking at who it actually was.
Floating through the Negaverse, Jadeite was very confused. "We get paid?"
Jadeite soon realized that he could not find any ants. He resorted to the most desperate move he could think of; asking the stars for help. "If that idiot Nephrite can do it, I could too!"
"Bla bla bla the stars know all. Know all do the stars, they know all."
He was disappointed when all the stars told him was the meaning of life. "That won't help at all!"
Nephrite was sitting in his castle still cleaning up Queen Beryl's balls.
Jadeite appeared. "WTF NEPHRITE IS NUDE"
"Because this is the privacy of my own home? Get a home fool, I didn't ask you to just warp in on my private business."
"Ye but it seems like with how often Zoisite shows up here to laugh at your failures you would be prepared with clothes on."
Zoisite revealed himself from behind a wall. "TEHEHEHEHEH BUT THEN I WOULDN'T SHOW UP. SLURP."
He poofed away, dropping more of Queen Beryl's balls for him to pick up.
"So anyway, Nephrite, ol' buddy ol' pal," Jadeite began, poofing up clothes for Nephrite. "I need your help!"
Nephrite laughed hysterically and warped back to the Negaverse. Five minutes later, he returned with Queen Beryl, who also laughed hysterically.
"LOL YOU'VE REALLY SUNKEN FAR, QUEEN SERENITY! YOU'VE ASKED NEPHRITE FOR HELP!? HOW BAD CAN YOU GET!"
"Hey!" yelled an outraged Nephrite.
"HEY!" yelled Queen Beryl. "Why do you have my balls. I need those." She grabbed as many balls as she could and warped back to the Negaverse.
Nephrite, in his shame, asked the stars for help.
They said, "LOL we don't wanna help you, let's help that hunkster Jadeite. Bro, just go to a ant store. They sell tons of ants!"
"Shit! Why didn't I think of that? Catch u l8r Nephpal."
"One of these days, Jadeite!"
At the ant store, Jadeite asked the clerk to help. But the clerk was too busy asking if anyone wanted some free energy, so he just stole a bunch of ants and left.
When he got to his box behind a Taco Bell where he lived, he put the ants in one of those ant home glass things where you can see them. "I must let them grow into a powerful ant society, before I steal their energy."
Thus, he spent the next few weeks taking care of the ants. He named them all, things such as Anthony, Antster, Antony, Antie, Antster, and Antoine. But alas, he knew it was time to take their energy. But, he couldn't bring himself to it. "I think I'll just let them free. I'm sure Queen Beryl won't care. She's given up on me anyway."
Just then, a black rose flew in, shattering the ant colony and slaying them all.
"MAMORU, WHY?!"
Evil Mamoru posed on the Taco Bell. "I don't like the way you bad guys pick on things smaller than you. Those ants didn't deserve that captivity!"
"I WAS JUST LETTING THEM GO! NOW THEY'RE ALL DEAD!"
"A job well done," said Evil Mamoru. "Just another day of sabotage. eZpz!"
"One of these days, Mamoru!"
Jadeite charged him, flying at him and tackling him offscreen because no one wanted to animate an actual fight. Neither had any good attacks anyway, so they just fell in water. A black rose floated to the surface.
Jadeite assumed Mamoru must be dead; certainly a rose couldn't have just fallen out of his pocket. There was no way he could have survived that fatal push.
Jadeite warped back to the Queen's room, full of pride.
"Queen Beryl! I have slain Mamoru!"
"WUT?! THE HELL DID U DO THAT FOR?!"
"He was sabotaging the Negaverse! He even confessed to it! Didn't you see that?"
"No I was too busy watching to see if anyone would try to kill Mamoru, since that's the only time I actually pay attention."
"But Queen! Take my word for it! I've been your loyal Shitennou for 8,000 years, and this is just our enemy, who you did a crap job of hypnotizing!"
"Whose fault is that, that we didn't have enough energy to do it well?"
"Unhguhh, probably yours, since you're our ruler, and you could have either A) put better people on the job, or gave them better plans, or B) done it yourself like someone who was good."
"One more outburst like that and you're outta here buster!"
"No Queen NUUUU!"
"Yes Zoisite this is your warning. I will kill you the next time you try to kill Mamoru. So don't play like you didn't know better, because I am warning you now. I will be watching you continuously except when the sailors transform, just in case you ever try to pull this one again."
"I'm Jadeite tho! BUT WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT OUR ENEMY MAMORU SO MUCH?"
"Cuz he's a hunkster!"
FIN DE CHAPTER
