"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a.. *cough cough*"

"What, Jadeite? You need to speak up?" said Queen Beryl

"I found... Awehgwhaoiroijhjobamklsdfgjawg!"

"WHAT?"

"AWegjwreoijpjiwaerherlf I'm dying!"

"About time you incompetento"

"No Queen I think *wegjawgojiaw* I have a cold"

"Yeah a cold and painful death coming your way if you don't get that source of energy!"

"Queen pls can I take the day off I'm really *COUGH COUGH COUGH THROW UP COUGH*"

"But I need someone out there getting energy!"

"Don't you have three other ShitennUGHHUGHHGUGHGJ COUGH COUGH DIE"

"Yeah but they might actually get it, and then I would have nothing to whine about. I won't send them in until the sailors get more powerful, so I can rage at them too."

"Pls Queen I'll get double the energy tomorrow!"

"Okay, you're always trustworthy when it comes to getting energy."

"Thanks, Queen! You won't be sorry!"

"I doubt it."


"Oh boy, a day off!" said Jadeite merrily. "I haven't had one of these since the Silver Millenium!"

"Where should I go on my day *COUGH* off. I know! A new fun park just opened down town! I'm sure I won't run into any trouble from the sailor scouts! They would never just randomly go to a fun park!"

With that, Jadeite put on a disguise and skipped over to the fun park.

"WEEEEEEEE WHAT SHOULD I RIDE FIRST?!"

"OOOOOOO THE MERRY-GO-ROUND! I won't run into any trouble there! Complete relaxation!"

He jumped on the Merry-Go-Round by flying over and pushing some kid off. The kid cried to their parents but their parents smacked them and said to stop talking shit.

The ride began, and Jadeite was having the most fun in his life. He went up and down. WEEEEEEEE!

Suddenly, he noticed Zoisite on a horse a couple horses ahead of him. She was holding that crystal that she stole from Nephrite yet somehow was given by Queen Beryl as well.

"Uh oh, smells like trouble!" exclaimed Jadeite, concerned that his one day off would be disturbed. "Maybe she won't notice me!"

"HEY JADEITE! HOW ARE YE?"

"DAMMIT! HOW DID YOU CATCH ME?"

"Only you would be talking to yourself out loud on a Merry-Go-Round. Also, you and I are the only adults on here. It's quite strange parents haven't complained yet."

"Could you just leave me alone! I'm just trying to chill, yo!"

"I don't care enough. I'm just here to lure sailor moon out and get the rainbow crystal from her. I wonder where she could be?"

Just then, Jadeite noticed his pal Serena going around the Merry-Go-Round fantasizing about both Tuxedo Mask and Andrew. He too wondered where Sailor Moon could possibly be.

"Well, good luck on your quest, Zoisite!"

"Screw you gaydite I don't need luck"

Zoisite fired off her crystal beam thing but it missed Molly and hit some other guy and he transformed into a huge youma.

"Shit I missed again!"

"Whoa a youma!" exclaimed Serena "Oh well it's my day off"

Zoisite appeared in front of the youma and said "kill the girl with the orange hair!" but the youma charged Zoisite and she was like "oh shit" and warped away knowing she had no control over the youma. The youma charged Jadeite and grabbed him by the neck and smashed him into the ground as he screamed "NOOOOOOOO THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"


Meanwhile in Nephrite's lair he was seeking the stars for guidance.

"The stars know AALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! SHOW ME THE PERSON AT THE PEAK OF THEIR LIVES!"

The stars scrambled around until they formed a picture of an old friend. It was Jadite!

"Oh well I hope he won't be mad."


Jadeite was still getting brutally pummeled and was now a brutally bashed corpse, but then Nephster appeared and shot the youma with an energy blast.

"Oh wow thanks Maxfield Stanton! You remind me a lot of someone who looks just like you but with a different shirt!"

Nephrite ripped off his shirt revealing his negaverse uniform.

"WHOA NEPHRITE YOU JUST MISSED MAXFIELD STANTON HE SAVED ME! Maybe my day off still has a chance of success after all!"

Nephrite shot Jadeite with an energy blast and started draining his energy.

"WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW WHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOOOOOOOOOOO WA!"

Suddenly, Evil Prince Endymion appeared!

"Mamoru!" Jadeite called to him. "Help me, ol' buddy ol' pal! We're on the same side!"

"Nah, I don't like the way you bad guys give away your energy to the Negaforce!"

"But Mamoru, he's taking my energy! Attack him!"

Mamoru was conflicted, so he hit them both with black roses.

"That's it, Endymion!" yelled Nephrite. "You're not invited to my birthday party!"

"NOOOOO! I'm sorry! I'll make it up to you, Nephy!"

With that, he started pummeling Jadeite with his stick. "STAHPPPPP!" But Endymion didn't listen. He'd be damned if he'd miss out on Nephrite's delicious marble swirl ice cream cake. And he already picked out a gift! (It was a star)

Finally, Endymion warped away. As did Nephrite, with Endymion's gift.

Suddenly, Sailor Moon appeared, furious that someone had tried to turn Mawwwlly into a youma. "WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?" she asked.

Everyone in the park pointed at Jadeite for no apparent reason.

"But Sailor Moon! It was Zoisite!"

"Nice try buster, I don't know any Zoisites."

"But she's the one who has been going after the rainbow crystals!"

"Nah I'm pretty sure that was that Jadeite guy."

"But I'm Jadeite!"

"HA! Caught red handed! You're finished!"

"NUUUUUU!" Sailor Moon then shot a plane at Jadeite. "My only weakness!" he was barely able to TP back to Queen Beryl before getting run over.

"Jadeite!" Queen Beryl announced, startled. "I hope you enjoyed your day off! Now, you better be ready to get me double energy!"

With that, Jadeite passed out in the middle of Queen Beryl's room. She called in Kunzite to mop him up. "Why am I always the one to clean up your trash?"

"Oh well," thought Jadeite. "This still went better than most days."

FIN