"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Can it, Jadeite! We're doing crystals now!"

"But it's a really good one, for the first time!"

"CAAAANNNNNN IIIIIIITTTTTT!"


Mamoru suddenly appeared in a tower, with Serena.

"Oh shit!" he thought. "Oh well, good thing I just happened to be carrying my rainbow crystals, the only thing I have of value, and the only thing stopping the Negaverse from taking over the world. What could possible go wrong?"

"Tuxedo Mask!" said Zoisite.

"Who?" said Mamoru, and Serena in unison.

"Place your crystals in the middle! Here, I'm putting mine down!"

"Mamoru, why do you have rainbow crystals?" asked Serena. "And why do you have the exact same colored ones as Tuxedo Mask? And why is she calling you Tuxedo Mask? I thought Tuxedo Mask and Zoisite are the only people who have crystals? How did you get your hands on them?"

"Meatball head!" Mamoru retaliated.

"Ok now Ima put my crystals in the middle!" announced Mamoru. "But first, you have to promise not to take them. Do I have your word?"

"Huh.. uh, sure?"

"Ok, you seem trustworthy."

Zoisite grinned internally at Mamoru's stupidity.

"WAIT!" he said, suddenly suspicious.

"Uh oh!" thought Zoisite. "Maybe he's not as dumb as I thought!"

"You have to pinky promise! That way I know you won't deceive me!"

"..."

Zoisite reluctantly pinky promised Mamoru.

Then, he put his crystals, the only thing he had, in the middle, and walked back.

"Are you ready for a good scuffle?" he asked.

"lolno"

Just then Kunzite appeared in the middle.

"Hey! What are you doing here? Are you here to watch our 1v1?"

"lolno," he said, taking the crystals and poofing off. "DUMBASS!"

"WUT!?" Mamoru was shocked beyond words.

"BUT BUT BUT! YOU GUYS ARE THE BAD GUYS?! YOU WOULD NEVER DECEIVE ME?! WHAT IS GOING ON!?"

"u lost lad"

"This is all a joke, right? You certainly wouldn't break a pinky promise! It's not like you're evil or anything."

"u wot m8"

"Come on now, give them back. I'm getting real tired of the way you bad guys do bad things. If he came and took the crystals, then that would be cheating. And cheaters never win."

"I think I just did lad"

"NUUUUUU! WHO CAN I TRUST ANYMORE IF I CAN'T EVEN TRUST EVIL PEOPLE!"

Broken hearted, Mamoru threw a rose at Zoisite. "How do you have roses, Mamoru," asked Serena.

Zoisite was unable to dodge. He got really mad. He tried to toast Mamoru and Serena. The fire was coming at them.

"So... are you gonna transform, or are we all going to die," asked Serena.

"Transform? What do you mean?"

"Mamoru pls"

"Maybe..."

The fire was getting closer.

"Rock paper scissors to see who reveals themselves first?"

"Ok," agreed Serena.

"Best 2 out of 7!"

They kept tying.

The fire got closer.

Serena threw a rock at Mamoru's scissors, but he quickly switched to a rock.

"FFS MAMORU!" yelled Serena, transforming.

"WOAH! YOu're the moon princess?"

"What? No, I'm sailor moon!"

"There's a difference? You look a lot like the moon princess."

"Fat chance. The MOON princess is Sailor VENUS. DUH."

"But I thought Zoisite was the moon princess."

"Well that wouldn't make much sense."

"It would make more sense than Sailor MOON being the MOON princess."

"True."

Suddenly they were all lit on fire. "SHIT! Maybe we should have stopped talking."

They appeared at the top badly burnt from slacking off.

"WAT?!" asked Zoisite, befuddled. "HOW DID THAT NOT KILL YOU? It's not like you guys had powers or anything."

"Alright, Zoisite!" said Sailor Moon. "Hand over the Moon Princess!"

"Ok!" she said, shooting Mamoru with a generic evil crystal.

"WA!" he yelled.

"NUUUUUU!" Serena cried for hours. Suddenly, all of the moon crystals flew into her tear, creating THE SILVER IMPERIFUME CYSTAL FO THE M OONN! ?!

"WTF!" said Kunzite, suddenly appearing. "Why didn't I just have a lid on that box?"

"Seriously though, I'm sick of the way you good guys don't play fair. We unfairly stole those crystals from you fair and square and now you just steal them back. Do you have any manners?"

Serena was too pissed off over Mamoru's untimely death and randomly threw the imperium silver moon silver imperium moon crystal in the air. It did some random wacky shit, bringing Mamoru back to life and slappin' around Zoisite and Kunzite. Then it shattered into 7 rainbow crystals, which shattered into 7 more rainbow crystals each, thus creating 49. Mamoru caught them all in his hat, mid transformation.

"HEY! Give those back!" said Zoisite.

"NUUU you tried to kill me!"

"Please?"

"Well, you did ask nicely..."

"MAMORU!" scolded Serena.

"Oh right. Nah, not this time!"

"Ok ok. Hear me out here," began Zoisite. "I tricked you the first time, and that was wrong. I realize that now. I am sorry. But I was really looking forward to dueling the great Tuxedo Mask..."

"Awww, you think I'm great 3"

"Uh yeah sure whatever."

"Serena, she thinks I'm great. I think we should give her another chance."

"MAMORU!"

"Besides, Kunzite's right there! He can't pull any fast ones on us this time!"

"MAMORU!" Serena scolded again.

"Ok, I'm putting them in the middle! Just remember, bad things come to those who break pinky promises twice!"

He stepped back from the crystals. "Ok, your turn!"

"Mamoru!" said Serena. "She has nothing and you had everything. Wtf!"

"Don't worry, gal pal! I'll get them back by beating him in a fair 1v1"

Zoisite walked to the middle, and picked up the crystals.

"HEY! Put those back!"

"Woah, look at the time. I must be going." she tp'd away with the crystals.

Mamoru looked flabberghasted. "Please, Kunzite, tell me I didn't fall for it again."

"lmao rekt"

"Oh boy, time to get 49 crystals back from the NEGAVeRSE!"

Serena face palmed and seriously contemplated joining the other side.