"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

"Oh rly, I've never heard that one before," responded Queen Beryl.

"Yes, it's something the humans call, 'favoriting this fanficiton, and also reviewing!'"

"What? I've never heard of that before."

"Yeah, apparently many people haven't."

"How do I go about doing this? And what's my motivation?"

"Well first you click 'review' and write something pretty. The writers of this story can really use some positive feedback!"

"Yes, I see. And then what."

"Then you click 'favorite' to show your support! Every favorite counts!"

"Ah, brilliant! Only someone as evil as me would not take the time to do this!"

"I agree," said Jadeite, turning and facing the camera. "Btw, how's Zoisite doing with those crystals?"

"Who?"


"Woohoohoohoohoo I got the chartruse crystal back! Even though I'm not quite sure how I lost it to begin with!"

"Holt!" yelled Mamoru, hitting his hand with a rose.

"AGAIN!? How does this keep happening!"

"Hhahahah now you only have 48 rainbow crystals! GG rekt! You can't do nothin' without all of them!" laughed Mamoru victoriously.

"Hmmm, you're right. HEY! Ol' buddy ol' pal! Wanna 1v1?"

"Why of course! I'm always down for a tussle!" yelled Mamoru courageously.

"But wait! Let's make this battle even more intense! Let's make a wager!"

"Idk, Zoisite. You're not very trustworthy in these types of situations."

"What, are you scared to lose?" asked Zoisite.

"Of course I'm not!"

"Ok then put something of value in the middle to begin our wager!"

"Uhhh, I have this rainbow crystal, but I don't think you'd have much of a use for it. Oh look, I have five bucks!" Mamoru put his five bucks in the middle.

Zoisite frowned. "Uh, your money doesn't work where I come from. We only use Negabucks. But hey, I could probably pawn that silly crystal of yours for a couple Negabucks!"

"Oh, are you sure? I wouldn't want you to get the bad end of the deal. Which is worth more, the crystal or five bucks," asked Mamoru.

"Well... I guess the crystal is worth a little less than five bucks, but I'll settle for it, since I feel bad for all the other times I ripped you off."

"Gee, thanks!"

"No problem. Ok, go ahead and put it in the middle now!"

"Ok!" agreed Mamoru. He placed it in the middle, and started to walk away, but ran back and grabbed it. "NOW WAIT JUST A DAWG ON MINUTE HERE!"

"Wot?"

"I wanna see that partner of yours! So he can't pull a fast one on me and warp in and steal them?"

"Kunzite? He would never! I'm insulted, honestly."

"Just get him for good measure."

"I can't. He's very busy."

"Then I guess we can't do the duel!"

"Coward!"

"Nope, not falling for it."

"Ok fine, brb. I'll see what I can do. But you best be putting that five dollars in the middle as well, to make up for the pay loss he's gonna get for having to skip work today."

"Fine," Mamoru reluctantly agreed. He was mad because that was his last five dollars. Now he will have to work at movie studio for another day.

"Hmmm," he thought to himself. "I could just leave now... with the crystal... and my five bucks... Nah! Zoisite would think I'm a coward! And what do I have if I don't have the respect of villains!"

Zoisite reappeared with Kunzite.

"Bro, I heard that you don't trust me. I'm hurt, after all we've been through."

"I'm sorry Kunzite, I know I'm too untrusting, but this is the only thing stopping you guys from world domination, afterall. I just didn't want to risk it."

"Fair enough. Now put it in the middle!"

Mamoru complied. "So, Zoisite. What's your wager?"

"uhhhhh"

Suddenly, Nephrite warped in, and stole the crystal!

"WAAA!" yelled Mamoru. "Quick guys, stop him!"

But Kunzite and Zoisite were just laying on the floor laughing.

"Hey! What's going on here!"

"R U THIS STUPID ALL THE TIME OR ONLY ON TUESDAYS!"

"It's a Wednesday! And I don't see why you guys aren't pissed. Nephrite just ruined a perfectly good wager. I have nothing left to bet, this is no fun!"

"You dweazle," said Zoisite. "We told Nephrite to come take it!"

"WUT?! But that would be cheatin- wait a minute! But how? How did you have time to arrange this with him."

"I was in the Negaverse for like 20 minutes lol"

"But you know Nephrite probably won't give it back to you. He hates you guys!"

Suddenly, Nephrite appeared again.

"Back for my five bucks, are you now?" asked Mamoru.

Nephrite didn't care less about his earth money, but took it anyway just to spite him.

"Here ya go Zoipal," he said, passing over the crystal.

"SUCK IT NEPHRITE!" she yelled back.

"Nephrite, why did you give it to them?" asked Mamoru. "They try to kill and shit."

"Ye, but this crystal is only worth a couple of Negabucks. That look on your face was priceless."

With that, he warped off laughing merrily.

Zoisite held the crystal out in front of him mockingly.

"LOLOLOLOLOL look at what you don't have and never will!"

Mamoru threw a rose, hitting him in the hand and shattering the crystal into 343 more pieces.

"DAMMIT MAMORU LOOK WHAT U DID!"

Mamoru didn't have time for this bickering, and quickly snatched one of the shards. This one was the pink and yellow-green swirl crystal.

Zoisite charged him, but he put his hand up.

"One more step and I break this crystal, inconveniencing us all even more!"

"Hey hey hey don't get hasty now. Hey! I got an idea! Let's just fight for it! Fair and square!"

"Ok! Wait a minute!"

"Huh?" asked Zoisite. "What's the problem? Are you scared?"

"Nah, I'm not falling for this AGAIN!"

"Come on Mamy, what can I do to make you trust me."

"I want to see all of you Negagoons lined up at once. That way I know none of you can jump in and steal it."

"Well, that might take some scheduling, but I guess we can pull it off. Give us a few hours to pull some strings."

"Ok," agreed Mamoru. "I'll be here!"


Three days later, Zoisite and Kunzite reappeared, flanked by the other two Shitennous and Queen Beryl.

"Welp, here we are!"

"What took so long!" yelled a tired and hungry Mamoru.

"Well, we figured since we had the whole family gathered, we might as well go on a family road trip! We saw the Grand Canyon, it was great! Niagara falls, too! They reminded me of you and your down FALL oooooooo! Ok now put the crystals in the middle."

"Wait hold on let me see your photo album from the trip"

"Oh of course!" They sat down and went through the album together. "And here's where Nephrite food poisoning, it was hilarious!"

"Hey!" yelled Nephrite. "It's not my fault that restaurant in Vegas gave me poisonous chicken."

"You went to Vegas too?"

"Of course! Here's where Jadeite won the jackpot, and here's where Queen Beryl stole it from him as 'compensation for his incompetency.'"

"Come on, can we just get on with this?" asked Jadeite, salty about his loss of money.

"Now patience, Jadeite," chided Queen Beryl. "Don't be rude."

"Yeah I actually think that's a good idea..." said Kunzite. "Alright, put the crystal in the middle!"

"Hey hey hey. I said I wanted to see the whole Negaverse here. That means all of you! Youmas included!"

Zoisite sighed and they all poofed off.


12 days later, they returned.

"WHAT TOOK SO LONG?!"

"Well, Nephrite got food poisoning again, so we had to wait for him to get better."

"How does this keep happening," a sick Nephrite muttered.

"Lol nice food poisoning skills Kunzite," commened Queen Beryl.

"Why thank you, your highness. I try."

"THIS ISN'T THE WHOLE NEGAVERSE!" interrupted Mamoru.

"Yes it is..."

"Nope I don't see Queen Metalia.

"FFS" said Beryl, blasting off again.


28 days later, they returned at last.

"Welp, here is the Negaverse in its entirety," said Zoisite.

"Should I even bother asking what took so long?"

"Well we were held up by border security in Italy... Wanna see our pics?"

"OH FFS JUST PUT THE DAMN CRYSTAL IN THE MIDDLE!" barked Queen Metalia.

"Nope Ima have to pat you all down first, to make sure you have no tricks up your sleeves." said Mamoru.

He patted down each and every Queen, Shitennou, and youma.

"Can't we just kill him? We have the whole Negaverse here!" asked Jadeite.

"Wait for it, Jadeite. This is gonna be great," said Queen Beryl.

"Looks like you guys are in the clear! Ima just put my crystal down!"

He left the crystal laying there and stepped back, ready to 1v1 Zoisite at last.

Suddenly, a new foe appeared. It was Alan and Anne, from Season 2!

"WTF!"

They took the crystals, laughing.

"You're right, Queen Beryl!" cackled Alan. "This guy really is a doofus!"

"Yeah..." began Anne. "But he sure is a hunkster!"

"Suck it Anne!" said Alan. They took off with the crystal and fed it to the Doom Tree, but it did nothing because the Doom Tree don't play by no rulez.

Mamoru, meanwhile, stood stunned. He didn't know what to say.

The Negaverse, which usually bickered amongst itself, joined together to laugh at him in unison.

Mamoru could take the shame no longer. He changed his identity to the Shiek of Baghdad, and henceforth called himself the Moonlight Knight.