13

Rafael immediately shut his eyes tight and stepped back from me.

"God. I'm sorry, Amara. We just made up and already my mind went somewhere else." he said with guilt in his tone. I looked down pondering his request before looking back up at him.

"I think you should kiss me… when you trust me, again." I said. I couldn't believe I said that. But maybe it was time to put in a little work toward this… bond. He wasn't going anywhere, and if we can still take our time then maybe it would work. He looked back at me and shook his head slowly.

"I want to trust you now." he said but I could hear the hesitance behind his tone and see it on his face. I shook my head.

"No you don't… and I am going to try to be a little less difficult." I said and he smiled warmly.

"And I will not be so controlling over you." he said. I could tell it was hard for him to say that, because I know the trust was not there.

"If I am going somewhere before or after school or even on my days off, I will let you know." I said and held up my hand and he smiled more and shook my head.

"Deal… so what else can you say in Spanish?" he asked. I laughed now.

"A few things. I'm a fast learner, but I still have a long way to go." I said.

"You passing this class?" he asked and I nodded.

"I am. I'm a fast learner." I responded proudly, and we shared a laugh before tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Well, I should be getting to bed. Gotta be up early tomorrow." I replied. Rafael nodded.

"Alright. I'll just be looking over these cases." he replied. I nodded not even realizing our hands were still laced together. I nodded thinking of what I wanted to say next.

"No dejes que los casos te estresen." (Do not let the cases stress you out.) I replied. His eyes sparkled at my words and he shook his head.

"No lo haré Buenas noches mami." he said gently. (I won't. Good night, mami.) I continued smiling warmly at him.

"Buenas noches." I replied and gently moved from his hold, his hand just holding on lightly until my hand slipped from his. I went back to my room, wrapped my hair up, and just melted into my bed. I don't remember ever smiling to myself before being taken to sleep. I woke up a bit earlier than usual so I could make my breakfast and take my time. I was in a white off the shoulder top and black jeans that were baggy on account of my weight loss. My hair was down and flowing and once I entered the kitchen, I noticed Rafael was there as well, his usual cup of coffee in his hand.

He turned to me and smiled.

"Good morning." he replied. On the island I saw a bowl of cinnamon oatmeal and fruit on the side with orange juice. I smiled at him.

"Good morning." I replied. "You sleep okay?" He nodded.

"I did. You?" he replied, and I nodded as well.

"I did." I replied taking the bowl and eating quietly. He just smiled in response.

"Busy day today?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Not today. I'll be hitting the gym on campus then will be headed back here." I replied and he nodded.

"I got a case load of work today so sadly, I won't be home until late." he said and I nodded putting a spoon of oatmeal in my mouth.

"I'll wait up for you." I responded, and he paused his sipping and looking at me completely taken back.

"Oh uh you don't have to do that." he said. I looked at him casually.

"Is that too weird?" I asked and he immediately shook his head.

"No of course not, it's just… you've never offered anything. I mean I'm not saying I don't appreciate it, it's a nice gesture." he said and I just shook my head.

"I know it felt weird saying it, but… when I was younger coming home from high school, and I'd have stressful days, either my mom or dad was around willing to talk to me. It was very helpful, they helped me deal with my stress and anxiety. I know I can call them now when I am upset. From just seeing you deal with the cases you have to deal with, I know you may have stress and it doesn't hurt to have someone to talk to after work… if you even want to talk, because I know you'll be probably talking all day." I replied and he just stared at me with a gentle smile.

"Thank you, mami. I appreciate your effort. But don't force yourself to stay awake alright? We have tons of time to discuss work and school." he said. I smiled and nodded.

"Alright, that's fine." I replied gently. After breakfast, he offered to give me a ride to school which I accepted and oddly enough the rest of the day flowed as it should be. Classes were good, my meetings were hardly anything because our competitions were ready to go, and I had a good work out. It was perfect. I took the bus home and used a few hours to study. My apple watch alerted me of a severe storm alert for the next two hours. I didn't think much of it though. Once the studying was done, I decided that I felt comfortable putting my bags away in Rafael's garage. As I placed them on a shelf in the corner from the door, I noticed a small box of DVDs. Written on the side in black marker was one word: Plays. I was curious and decided to look through them. They were dated about twenty years ago. I pulled out a DVD of which said Phantom of the Opera.

That was one of my favorite movies! I took the box down and brought them into the house. And ten minutes later, I was sitting in the living room, my mouth wide open as I was watching a young Rafael singing and acting in a Phantom of the Opera music. I was just staring, watching him in his suit and cape. Half of his face was covered by a white mask and his brown tresses were swooped over his eyes. Oh my god, he was so young, and his voice was good. I didn't even hear the front door open.

"Amara?" I heard Rafael call and I just slowly looked at him, mouth still wide open and he just froze in the hallway as he saw what I was watching. We just stared at each other.

"You were in plays?" I asked, and his cheeks grew red as he sighed some.

"I never thought you'd find my DVDs." he said putting his briefcase down. I raised some of them up.

"I didn't know you liked theater and singing." I replied. He loosened his tie and smiled some.

"You never really asked." he told. I bit my lip feeling flushed before nodding slowly looking at the DVDs before realizing he was here. I looked up at him.

"Wait, what are you doing home so early?" I asked.

"A big storm is coming in, so big there could be some power outages. I got off early to be here." he said. I arched a brow smiling some.

"With me?" I asked. He nodded.

"With you." he answered. I smiled more and nodded before looking more at the CDs and saw one that said "Beat It MJ". My eyes popped and I looked at him.

"You danced with Michael Jackson in Beat It?" I gushed and he just chuckled.

"No. Just another play, a dance off really." he said moving into the kitchen. "You hungry? I thought we could make something." But I had already gotten up and swapped the DVD. I stood up and positioned myself in the middle of the living room. The video played and I watched it now and saw a young Rafael leading a dance off in 80s street clothes and I smiled watching as he danced to lyrics. He was good and I could see the passion in his eyes as he moved. I had to admit I was impressed and liking what I saw. I knew a little bit of the choreography being showed. I began to move my hips so trying to jump in with the music and already I flowed in to the dances moving with the dancers on the screen.

Okay, I was really enjoying myself more than I should. I found myself laughing at much emotion Rafael was into it in the DVD. I saw Rafael in the kitchen doorway watching with an amused smirk on my face and raised my hand waving him over.

"Come on!" I said as the guitar solo in the song was ending. The perfect time for him to jump in. Rafael smiled more and stripped out of his business coat quickly and briskly moved up beside me jumping right into the dance. We were immediately in sync.

"Beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it, (WHO HOO) beat it!
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it, beat it!"

Our hands shot out for the ceiling and we glided across the carpet matching the young actors and actresses on the screen. And surprisingly enough, Rafael has still got it at forty-three. He was sharp and still in shape enough to dance against the youthful version of him. We both laughed as we continued dancing around the room together keeping up with the music until the music faded and we both landed on the touch together finally panting gently from all the unexpected movement. We were both smiling and laughing not even caring about the lightning that was starting outside or the rumbling storm that had moved over the city. We both looked at each other.

"You still go it." I complimented lightly looking ahead.

"Yeah, thanks." he replied. I looked at the TV for a moment before smiling and casually looking at him once more and he was looking around himself when his eyes finally found their way back to mine. Our soft pants died down and our eyes softened upon each other as we just leaned into each other. His forest like scent cascades over me and I still like it. And in seconds our lips find each other. Like most men, his lips were thin but warm and soft. He gently raises his hand to gently rest on my neck to pull me closer. In order to do this, I had to turn my body to face him more. Does this mean he trusts me? Do I trust him fully? Does any of these questions really matter at this point? Maybe we don't need to think of this, maybe we can just give in to lust and let it take hold of us.

We can talk about what this will mean afterword. Suddenly everything goes dark and I lean back and gasp as the power goes out the darkness snapping me out of everything.

"It's okay, it's just the lights. The storm must be hitting." Rafael said, and I leaned back and stood up remaining in front of the couch. It was completely dark, but I could still see soft shapes and figures.

"Well should we go get some candles?" I asked.

"Yeah. We can put a candle in the kitchen, the living room and both our rooms." he instructed. I nodded.

"Alright." I replied and moved around to look for my phone and found it on the floor. I used its light to find my way around the house as Rafael used his. My heart was pounding fast in my chest and I found myself unable to really look him in the face. My cheeks were flushed and I felt like I was floating. There were candles in dressers and bookshelves in the corner. We both took a few candles and moved about the house lighting candles. Lightning burst outside and helped me see more. My body started to feel tight and I started to feel nervous for some reason.

"Amara, you got an extra candle?" Rafael asked from the hallway. I nodded setting one candle down on the dresser in my room before meeting him in the hallway.

"Yeah." I replied lightning it and following his voice until I was in his room. The rain pounded down on the roof hard and heavy and Rafael was standing in front of his window staring out at the harsh weather. It was dark all over. I stood beside him now looking at the weather. Now that nervousness began to gently fade away. I glanced down at Rafael's chest in thought of this. Slowly I just placed my shoulder ever so lightly against him and I feel that harsh heart beating in my chest quiet down and slow to a calm and even beat. I was still holding the candle when Rafael looked down at me the small light starting to reflect in his deep eyes. I could feel how calm he was. Maybe it was the weather that I found peaceful and his presence starting to make me feel leveled to the ground. Slowly we faced each other and just stared at each other for a long moment, our eyes telling each other everything. We are in the moment. We will deal with whatever comes after together. I lightly raised the candle to him and he didn't even look at it. He just kept his eyes on me as he gently blew out the candle inviting the darkness, no embracing the darkness all around us. I could lie to myself and say it's expected of me or that it's been a while that I had sex. I have needs right? Or I can admit just a bit that I was curious of what he had to offer. He began to gently lock his hands on my hips and I let him pull me gently into him before raising my hands to slide up his chest and slowly we closed the space between us and let our lips find each other yet again.