"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"

He heard his own echo. He walked up to her thrown to find a letter.

"Gone fishing. Don't go in my room!" the note said.


Queen Beryl cast her rod in the lake for the tenth time that minute.

"WHY WON'T THEY BITE?!" she screamed.

"You need to be patient, Queen," Kunzite tried to explain.

"SUCK IT KUNZITE!" Beryl scolded.

"SUCK IT KUNZITE!" Evil Mamoru scolded.

"Queen, did we really need to take that guy along?" Kunzite asked.

"Why? Do you have a problem with him?" Queen Beryl questioned.

"Well, for one, he keeps throwing my fish back in the water. For two, he's been slaughtering ALL the fish in the lake, and that's part of the reason you haven't caught anything."

"I don't like the way you bad guys fish for fish," Mamoru told them. "I thought it would be in their best interest to kill them before you guys could."

"Yeah, see, that's the thing!" Kunzite said, pointing to Mamoru. "He's always sabotaging our plans, Queen Beryl!"

"Yeah, but he's a hunkster!"

Kunzite paused suddenly. "Wait, didn't you die a couple of chapters ago?"

"Nah, Queen Metalia revived me. She's revived us all at some point, amirite?" she said, nudging him.

He didn't reply.

"I SAID, AM IRIGHT?!"

"WAHT DO U WANT FROM ME?!" Kunzite cried.

"SAY I'M RIGHT OR I'LL KEEL YOU!" Queen Beryl shouted.

"But Queen! That wouldn't really be called for..." Kunzite tried to reason.

"SAY I'M PRETTIER THAN ZOISITE!" Queen Beryl demanded.

"Why?!"

"I've had about enough of your disobedience, Kunzite!"

Mamoru agreed, "Yeah Queen Beryl, he's just a liability. It's about time you got rid of that guy."

"Oh Mamoru, you're so hunky when you blatantly sabotage the Negaverse!"

Kunzite groaned and cast his rod.


"Oh no!" Jadeite gasped. "I must go check out Queen Beryl's room!"

Jadeite cautiously opened Queen Beryl's bedroom door. He peaked his head in, and her room was just a rift in time and space. Unspeakable horrors flew by, and he was knocked back by a malicious force.

"WAAA!" he shrieked, colors flashing before his eyes. He slammed into a wall.

"AND STAY OUT!" screamed Queen Metalia.

Jadeite felt lonely without Queen Beryl around. "I know, I'll go pester Nephrite! I'm sure he's just dying to see me!"

But when he got there, Nephrite was not dying to see him. In fact, he was very annoyed.

"Go away, Zoisite!" he scolded without turning around.

"No, it's me, Jadeite, your good pal!" Jadeite explained.

"Go away, Jadeite!"

"Whatcha up to, boy-o?" Jadeite asked.

Nephrite didn't respond. He was browsing the internet for a stamp.

Jadeite looked over his shoulder. "Oooh, what's that?!"

"It's the last stamp to complete my Sailor Moon stamp collection. It's the limited edition 1981 golden sparkly Queen Beryl stamp! There's only one that's ever been printed!"

Nephrite pulled out his stamp collection to show Jadeite the one missing spot.

"SEE!?" he shouted, rubbing the book in Jadeite's face.

"Sure, sure. So are you just going to order it off the internet?"

"I CAN'T!" Nephrite shouted. "I found out there's only one place to buy it. And that's San Diego Comic Con!"

"Oh boy! I've always wanted to go to America!" Jadeite shrieked happily.

"Then let's go on a sky trip! And then a road trip!" Nephrite yelled joyfully.

"Did someone say road trip?" said Zoisite, appearing out of nowhere.

"Go away, Jadeite!" said Nephrite.

"Eww, a road trip with you two sounds awful! Enjoy your terrible time," Zoisite scoffed, starting to walk out the door.

"Good, we didn't want you anyway!"

"Oh, well if you insist I come!" Zoisite said, warping up some luggage.

"NUUUUU!"


They arrived at the airport. As they were walking along, they bumped into an old enemy, Rei's grandpa.

Jadeite and Zoisite recognized him immediately. Nephrite just shrugged.

"Sup, Gramps!" Zoisite called over to him.

"I FEEL EVIL!" he yelled back.

Zoisite smiled nostalgically. "Good times... good times."

"Hey Jed! How are you doing?" Grandpa asked Jadeite.

"Oh, good, I've found other work since leaving the dojo."

"That's good!" Gramps replied. "We replaced you with this new guy, Chad. He's a real tool, but a hunkster!"

"Ok..."

"So where are you charming young lads headed, anyway?" Gramps asked, winking.

"We're just going to buy a special Sailor Moon stamp," Nephrite explained.

"Do you mean the limited edition one of a kind golden sparkly Beryl stamp?"

"Why yes," said Nephrite. "How did you know?"

"Oh, I'm going there to get that one myself."

"But there's only one of them!" Nephrite exclaimed.

Grandpa made a look of fake compassion. "Oh, that's too bad. I'll make sure to snap a picture of myself with it and send it to you!"

"Aww hell no!" Nephrite screamed, ready for a scrap.

Suddenly, they heard an announcement that a flight had just arrived.

"HAHAHAHAH!" Grandpa laughed, boarding his plane.

"GRRR!" Nephrite scowled. "That's no fair! His plane came first!"

"Wait a minute," Jadeite said. "We can fly! And teleport! Why do we need to take a plane?"

"Because that wouldn't be a sky trip!" Nephrite explained. "Plus, I already bought these tickets!"

Sudenly their plane arrived.

"OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!" they all yelled and sprinted to the plane and lept on before anyone else.

However, since they ran on so fast they still had to wait for everyone to take their seats, and Nephrite was getting impatient.

"LET'S GO! LET'S GO! LIFT OFF ALREADY! LET'S HOP TO IT! LET'S GO ALREADY!" Nephrite hollored as he kicked the chair in front of him like a little kid.

"Do you mind?" scowled some mom.

Jadeite blasted her. "No I don't!"

Nephrite was really starting to get mad.

"GRAMPS' PLANE IS PROBABLY ALREADY IN THE US!" he shouted.

"Keep it down!"

"ALRIGHT WHO SAID THAT!?" yelled Jadeite, ready to fire another blast.

A stewardess went up to them. "Sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to quiet down."

Zoisite blasted her. "ONLY I TELL THOSE MORONS TO QUIET DOWN!"

A baby started to cry. Nephrite threw it out the window. Finally the plane took off.

"FASTER!" he screamed.

The stewardesses were at a loss with what to do. They put on a movie to attempt to settle everyone down.

It was the Sailor V movie!

"EWWWW!" the three Shitennou screamed at once.

The pilot was so done with the screaming coming from the rest of the plane.

He stepped out into the main seating area.

"CAN WE GET SOME MORE PEANUTS OVER HERE!?" Zoisite screamed, blasting a stewardess.

The pilot began shouting, "IF YOU THREE DON'T CUT IT OUT, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO THROW yOU OFF THE PLANE!"

"JOKES ON YOU, WE CAN TELEPORT!" Nephrite shouted back.

"THAT'S IT!" The pilot yelled, going over to take them on. "I'M TURNING THIS PLANE AROUND!"

"NO!" yelled Jadeite, murdering him.

"Look what you did!" scolded Zoisite.

The rest of the passengers began panicking.

"STFU!" screamed Nephrite, killing all the passengers. "Way to go, Jadeite. Now I had to kill all those passengers."

"SO HOW ARE WE GOING TO FLY THIS PLANE!?"

"Fear not," said Jadeite. "I can move planes WITH MY MIND!"

"That's an oddly specific power," Zoisite commented.

"Suck it, Zoisite!" Jadeite yelled, steering the plane with his head.

He started making the plane do flips.

"STOP IT!" screamed Nephrite.

Zoisite got plane sick and threw up on Nephrite.

"WTF!" screamed Nephrite.

"It's not my fault! Blame Jadeite for being a doofus!"

"Yeah, but you turned directly towards me and threw up!" Nephrite yelled. "Jadeite, that's enough!"

Jadeite ignored him, and rather, went straight up in the sky and then plunged straight down.

"WEEEEE FREE FALL!"

"That's enough!" yelled Zoisite, pushing him over and taking the controls.

"How hard could this be?" He looked down and saw 3 billion buttons. "Hmm, what does this one that says 'self destruct' mean? I bet that's the auto-pilot!"

The plane blew up. They all fell into the ocean.

"I can't swim!" screamed Jadeite. "HAAAALP!"

Suddenly a shark appeared.

They all swam for their lives.


3,000 miles of swimming later, they all climbed on shore at the US east coast. They were dripping wet and covered in seaweed.

"That was awful!" yelled Zoisite. "Why did you two dumbasses make me come on this terrible trip with you?!"

"We didn't want you to go!" they said, but he ignored them.

"Wait, why didn't we just teleport to shore?" Jadeite asked.

"Dang, we just keep forgetting to do that!"

They walked towards a city in the distance.

"This looks like NYC!" Nephrite announced. "If my US geography is right, this is pretty close to San Diego!"

"Are you sure about that, Nephrite?" Jadeite asked, looking at a map and scratching his head.

"Yeah, yeah. Close enough."

When they reached the city, they spotted a familiar geezer. "It's Grandpa!"

They ran up to him to take him out, but he leapt aboard a taxi and took off. They jumped into a nearby taxi and yelled, "Follow that gramps!"

The taxi driver tried his best, but he hit a red light.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Nephrite shouted.

But luckily, Gramps' taxi was stopped at the next stoplight.

"We still have a chance!"

Jadeite fired an energy blast out the window, but the driver started moving again, so he just hit a little girl.

"Ouch!" screamed Hotaru.

The little girl's eyes started glowing red. "ARGGHHAHHH!" she screamed.

"Quick! FAster!" Jadeite demanded of the driver. "She's catching up!"

Zoisite looked behind them. "I think we lost her!"

Suddenly, their car was hoisted into the air.

All three peaked their heads out the window, and saw the crazy black-haired girl Hotaru holding their car above her head.

She chucked it into a building. Some guy who was in the building doing office work looked over at the car sitting next to him and passed out.

Nephrite stumbled out of the car, his head spinning.

The taxi driver had been impaled in the crash.

Nephrite felt bad. "I hope he had insurance."