Our first performance is exactly one week away now and once all of us had the chance to discuss in the practice room without Rose and May, we took it. As much as I generally dislike excluding people from conversations as if we were gossiping about them, we needed to talk. Sam really does not want to be in the band if Rose continues to be her shady self, but who was I to assume that Nick wanted to leave only because Sam and I wanted to? He never actually had a complaint about Rose or May. That whole episode started with him forgetting May's name and he was a bit confused about her status at the school, but no red flags seemed to be raised for him. I think it's because he doesn't want to give up on the band he was recently recruited in and he still sees potential in us. As for Amy, I'm surprised that she managed to hold her tongue and didn't emerge to give her opinion on the whole situation until now.
"I heard the whole thing," Amy commented. "I would have cut in on that huge explosion that was going on, but I also wanted to listen to how things unfolded without me being involved. It sounds like you guys are being held against your will and need to get out of the band ASAP. No-Eyes, have you considered working with Sammy here?"
"I actually haven't," I replied, feeling silly that I haven't thought of that sooner. "That's a great idea! I just hope I get accepted."
"They're not hiring right now," Sam reminded. "But maybe your resume will change their minds!"
Sam saying 'resume' made me even less confident. I've been fired quite a few times in my life for being such a burden as an employee with poor eyesight. I wish I could be rehired at the music shop my father worked in once. However, I can always redeem myself. Somehow. To change the topic, I told them that I knew where the recording of us was located and offered them a look, to which they accepted. I pulled out the flash drive and repeated the process of playing the recording for them. Amy would typically run through the songs with us, but this film was one of the few instances where she was absent. We all had more fun watching the recording together than when we were being filmed. Amy rapping to where she was supposed to, Nick humming along to my parts, and me and Sam being nitpicky reminded me of more light-hearted moments. I'm still set on leaving, but I don't want to look back and be bitter. When the recording ended, Nick applauded and Amy tagged along. Sam blushed and I was flattered as well. Then Amy made a random remark as if an epiphany occurred. She took the words out of my mouth.
"You know what I just noticed?" she began. "Rose and May together kinda sound like Rosemary! Rose May-ry! And you can arrange my name to May's name! What?!"
"This means that this band was meant to be!" Nick jokingly added.
"I guess I'm not the only one that makes silly observations here," I laughed.
"Maybe we were," Sam smiled. "It was worth it. I was recruited with only some knowledge of rhythm and never touched a drum set before. I was surprised that Rose was alright with that. With some help, I was able to contribute to making some decent songs. Whether they're actually good or bad songs, you guys stuck with me and motivated me to keep going. Especially you, No-Eyes."
I didn't expect such a wholesome little speech from my bestie, but I'm so glad she opened up and expressed that to us. She's too kind! I'm not in such a rush to leave the band remembering that Sam, Amy, Nick and I are capable of doing great things together. Although we don't need to be in a band to hang out, I'm still a musician at heart and want to take advantage of the opportunity. I also realised that quitting the band might also mean that I should move back to my father's mansion. The band was the only reason why I even bothered living with Rose, who had just startled us after Sam finished.
"That's so sweet," she commented from behind us. "Sorry to cut in on you all having fun right now and for my bad impression I left, but I have a favour to ask of you."
"What's that?" I asked.
"Help me plot my revenge on someone."
Oh, brother. She's not helping her image that much by doing this. This is new, though. Instead of putting out her anger on us, she wants us to be involved in her problem and for us to get our hands dirty.
"Okay," I began. "First of all, you're really good at sneaking up on people. I'm a bit worried. Second, what could someone have possibly done to make you not want to let it go and make this rash decision to exact revenge on this person instead of letting karma handle it?"
"Geez, all you do is question things," Rose sighed. "I have boy problems, okay? My relationships don't last long, but this one guy. Oh ho ho. This one guy. Why I outta..."
"It's quite petty," May, who was sitting in the kitchen the whole time, added. "But one of her exes antagonised her online, blaming her for cheating, and he had already moved on with another for a while. He's basically cyber-bullying her with stupid pics and made all his friends think it's okay to do that because she's supposedly a cheat. This is just one reason why I don't like younger guys, but whatever."
"Are they actually funny pics?" Amy jokingly asked.
"No!" Rose shouted. "I'm not a midget! Ugh!"
"Do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked, ignoring the word that could have been viewed by her as a personal attack.
"What's there to talk about?" Rose dismayed. "I could just contact the school about it and get them all suspended, but I'm not as upset about the pictures as I am of him. His suspension isn't enough... You know, I think I'll just wait for him to stop and get a life. I only liked him for his looks anyway. Who needs social media? If you excuse me, I'll be drinking in my room."
"But what about rehearsing-?" Nick asked and Sam and I quickly shushed him so we could get a day off.
She went to the fridge to grab her favourite wine bottle and a glass, then slowly walked to her room with her head down. She's clearly falling apart. So much has been revealed and she doesn't ever want to seek any help. I didn't want her to start drinking because whenever she's hungover, there are signs of her being caught in a cycle of abuse. Rose admitted that she didn't grow up in a warm, welcoming household, so now she thinks that what she's done is normal behaviour and wants to repeat history. I couldn't just let her sink this low. None of us could. But this is something she has to allow herself to fix. Everyone deserves to be and can be buoyant, but it all starts with one's outlook. Continuing to indulge won't always work- Also, this is just my bias, but alcohol is kinda gross. Although I could use some on certain occasions- Something came over me that made me want to cheer her up somehow.
"I'll go talk to her," I stood up.
"Good luck," May was sarky, but I continued.
When they turned their attention away from me, I snuck into my room to grab something to show Rose and ease her embarrassment, something only Sam has seen once before. It was my first time entering what looked like something from an Italian Renaissance painting, but I tried to mask my exuberance. With Rose taking over the only actual bedroom in the apartment, she chose to have the walls dual-coloured with Venetian Pink at the top and English Red at the bottom, separated by a black borderline. The open teal curtains could faintly taint what it shined on. That is if it ever shined here. There was a dark desk with piles of paper that included all sorts of illustrations and writings, but otherwise a tidy room. Thankfully, Rose forgot to lock her door, so I easily went in as she sat on her bed and poured her wine.
"Hi there," I smiled.
"I'm kinda busy right now." Rose sassed.
"Can I show you something?"
"Fine. What?"
I pulled out the mocha-coloured teddy bear that I've had for as long as I can remember. Rose's face lifted.
"Is that for me?" she hopefully asked.
"Oh, heck, no," I quickly replied thinking Great. Now I have to buy her a teddy bear because I can't let go. "This is my longest-lasting friend. His name is Now."
"Is that Chinese or something?" she softly laughed.
"No no no no no. I mean, like, 'right now.'" I laughed, too.
"Why would you name it that?"
"It was my first word. Or maybe it was 'no,' but it sounded like 'now.' Sometimes, he reminds me that everything is temporary and I need to be in the present moment."
"What's your point?"
"Isn't this embarrassing? I'm a grown woman and I talk to this little guy when I'm alone! I take him everywhere. My family doesn't know that I kept it."
"At least you had one."
I understand why people would say she's a bit self-pitying, but I'm not the type to judge. Not even her fake boyfriends were generous enough to buy gifts, although she's generally not deserving of anyone's money spent. I actually felt a bit guilty for reminding her, though.
"This is more embarrassing than some silly photos on the internet and being labelled something you're not. I think so because although no one is perfect, most people still grow out of stuffed animals. Maybe I was cyber-bullied, too, but I'm not sure. Oh, well. You can choose to react to this drama in a passive way or an aggressive one. By the way, who is this guy that you hate so much?"
"Just some kid named Giovany. You probably won't know him... To be honest, I'm quite ashamed of myself for being this overdramatic. I've been acting a bit strange lately and it might just be that..."
"It's that time of the month?" I asked, referencing something Sam would say.
"Now, why would I admit such a thing?" Rose snapped out of it.
"I don't know. Er-"
"And haven't we established that only May is allowed inside my room? Get out!"
"This is a nice room you have!" I whisper-shouted as I awkwardly speed-walked away. I bumped into the wall, almost making out the door, quickly shook my head and then found my way out. Everyone was now sitting at the dinner table and looked at me.
"I heard a thud!" Amy worried. "Am I gonna have to kill someone?"
"Oh, no," I crookedly smiled. "Something just... Fell."
"Why's your forehead red?" Sam inquired.
"Er," I quickly conjured a lie. "It was getting pretty emotional in there! I blush intensely when I cry. Especially on my forehead, oddly. It's why I don't cry often. She's actually not an ugly crier. We were understanding each other more and we... Made up. We're friends now. I'll stay in the band. I slowed her down on the drinking so she wouldn't choke!"
Everyone was bewildered by my false statement. May shot a suspicious look. What made me want to lie to stay in the band was the fact that Rose isn't the entire band and I had to think about what everyone wanted. Rose, Nick and I especially. As long as I'm seemingly having a good time, Sam and Amy will be content. Why I have a tendency to lie sometimes? You tell me.
"I'm happy for both of you," Nick gave me a thumbs up. "Keep up the good work, guys."
I suddenly thought of something. Switching the topic back at him, all the exciting things he would hint at doing, such as hiking and whatnot, made me realise how much I took my adventures with my family for granted. Sure, it was fun, but I thought that was normal. Travelling practically around the world to film music videos, eat their food and just get crazy. Things have toned down a lot besides the feuds I have with Rose here and there and the memories of the places we've gone made me nostalgic rather than relieved like I thought I would be. But I think it's time to make new fun memories like that. I'll try to make the ride more fun instead of waiting for others to do so, and the band with me will make it better.
...
