Once she had finished the phone call, not saying anything else other than where she currently was, she went back to the window of the NICU and just stared at Sammy, willing him to be okay.
At some points a nurse came to her to talk to her, tell her that she should go back to bed because she just gave birth. She ignored them and just watched as Sammy wiggled slightly in the bed.
Her doctor came to her as well, wanting to talk to her about Sammy. He was small and premature, his lungs weren't working to their full capacity, he was small; just a little over two pounds, and he wasn't taking the few bits of milk that they were trying to give him. He was going to be on twenty-four hour monitoring for an indefinite amount of time.
Unfortunately they can't go in and hold him or even hold his hand, he has to remain in a sterile environment. They would appreciate it if she could try to pump breast milk for them to give Sammy a try to give him some sort of connection and build up his immune system.
She just nodded, not looking away as Sammy slowly moved his hand, it was curled into a small fist. She had read somewhere that a person's heart was as big as their fist and Sammy...
She felt like sobbing. He was so small that she was afraid that if she blinked for too long he'd disappear somewhere among the wires and blanket.
There was someone tugging at the end of her hospital gown and she finally tore her eyes away from Sammy to look down, feeling her heart clench when she saw Dean staring up at her pleadingly. She swallowed hard and leaned down to pick him up, holding him close as he curled into her chest, gripping at her tightly.
Mary cleared her throat and took a deep breath, turning Dean around enough so that he could see through the glass. "There's Sammy." she whispered. "There's your little brother."
Dean blinked and leaned in as close as he could, pressing up against the glass with both hands. "Sammy?" he asked. "Why is he there? Can't we cuddle?"
"No, not yet." Mary said, holding onto him. "He's still sick so we can't go near him yet."
Dean whimpered, pressing up against the glass as much as he could as he stared down at his little brother. "Why isn't the doctor making him better?"
"He's trying, but it's hard." Mary said, seeing from the corner of her eyes that Bobby came up beside her, reaching out to gently touch her shoulder. She looked at him, feeling the tears in her eyes. Bobby looked a bit lost, whatever tentative relationship he had had with Dean, it was completely different with Sammy who was a baby.
"I called them." she whispered to him, seeing his eyebrows raise. "I just...I can't handle this anymore. Bobby...you've been a big help, it's just..." her voice cracked and she closed her eyes. "I need them. I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize, I get it." Bobby told her. "You just...I don't think they'll be happy so you gotta prepare for that."
"I know, I am." Mary said looking at Sammy again. "I'm sorry you got caught in this."
"I'm happy that I was able to help you." he said simply, hesitating for a moment before he reached out and wrapped his arm around her. Mary couldn't help but press into his touch, moving so she could place her head on his shoulder. "And listen, if I've learned anything it's that you're a fighter and so are your kids. The little one is gonna be fine."
Mary smiled and nodded, holding Dean closer to her, he had started to talk through the glass to Sammy; all about them and who they were and everything that he couldn't wait to show him outside.
Mary didn't want to leave the window, and neither did Dean, even if they couldn't be in the room with him they didn't want to leave Sammy alone. Even when Mary couldn't stand anymore, her legs were weak so she just sat down on the ground with Dean on her lap. Bobby had gone off to get back home to grab some more things for her and Dean to change into leaving just the two of them with Sammy.
Her whole body hurt but at least this pain was a bit more familiar. She felt sore and abused in a way but paid no attention to it, just leaning against the wall under the window and waited. She wasn't sure what she was waiting for but she didn't have anything else to do.
After what felt like hours, people kept walking through the hallway; some of them tried to talk to her but she ignored them, Dean had fallen asleep curled up in her arms against her and she had her head bowed, not falling asleep but not wanting to deal with the rest of them world at this moment.
She could hear more people walk past her, some of the people talked to one another in low murmurs that she ignored. One pair of footsteps stopped next to her for a moment and she tensed up, feeling her heart beating rapidly in her chest as they reached out to gently touch her shoulder.
Bringing her head up, feeling the tears that had been welled up finally fall slowly down her cheeks. She swallowed hard, a choked sound escaping her.
"John." she whispered, her voice cracking.
I do not own Supernatural.
142/366
I do take requests so if you have requests you can send them to me.
