"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"
Only... it wasn't Jadeite?!
"WTF!" yelled real Jadeite, knocking over this imposter.
Some random fat guy at Comic Con wailed as he was shoved across the room. But his anger stopped once he looked up at Jadeite.
"OMG EPIC COSPLAY DUDE! You look exactly like Jadeite!" the fat guy applauded.
"Umm... how do you know my name?!" Jadeite asked in shock.
Nephrite and Zoisite came up to him.
"WOW, THERE'S THREE OF YOU?! EPIC GROUP COSPLAY DUDES!" the guy continued. "YO BILLY JOHN AND JOHNNY BILL! COME OVER HERE AND SEE THE THREE SHITENNOU!"
Zoisite and Nephrite looked around in horror. It was a trap?! Zoisite spawned a crystal, and Nephrite called on the stars to summon up a lion. Jadeite was still dumbfounded.
Billy John started snapping pictures of them. "Where did you buy that outfit?! It's just like the real Shitennou outfits, but uglier!"
"What kind of flash stun attack is this?!" they all yelled as they kept getting their pictures taken.
"Yeah!" agreed Johnny Bill. "I would think you were the real Shitennou if you weren't so ugly!"
Nephrite was taken aback, and started to cry. Zoisite went to kill them with a crystal, but Jadeite intervened. "Stop! I think they think we're just nerds in costumes!"
"All the more reason to kill them!" Zoisite yelled, going to charge again.
"NO STAHP! It will blow our cover! Plus, anyone who wants to dress up as a cool guy like me is a friend of mine!" Jadeite decided.
More and more people were noticing the crowd gathered around them, and joined in.
"WOAH!" yelled a random fanboy. "CAN YOU STEAL MY ENERGY!?"
"Well, if you insist," said Zoisite, beginning to hover off the ground to get a good shot in. Jadeite pulled him back down.
"Humans don't fly, Zoisite!" Jadeite tried to explain.
"Woah, did you just see that?!" a different fanboy yelled. "They can even levitate!"
"Jadeite, can I freeze you in an icecube like Queen Beryl?!" yelled some Queen Beryl cosplayer.
Jadeite started to flip out. Nephrite went to calm him. Zoisite backhanded Jadeite. "Keep it together, man!"
Another fanboy went up to Zoisite. "That was so cool when you killed Nephrite. He was my least favorite!"
"Alright, I'm out," said Nephrite. Him and Jadeite started to take off.
"Where are you going?!" asked Zoisite. "You need to find that stamp!"
"We'll find it, alright. After we change into different costumes, so we stop being harassed."
"Fine, suit yourselves!" Zoisite yelled to them. "I'm staying just the way I am. I like my fan base."
Suddenly, some fat nerd dressed as Kunzite came up to him. "Hey baby, I see you need a cosplay buddy!" He swooped in for a smooch, but Zoisite threw up and ran away.
"Shit!" said Zoisite. "I need a costume, and fast!" he looked in his Nega storage locker, by opening a floating portal. All he had was that Sailor Moon costume from that one time. "Oh boy."
Zoisite walked around in the Sailor Moon outfit looking for his friends. "I wonder where they went..."
Suddenly, a guy dressed as Tuxedo Mask approached. "Zoisite!" he yelled.
"Oh no! He sees through my disguise! That's a first!"
The guy dressed as Tuxedo Mask came up, and Zoisite slugged him.
"GAHHH!" cried Nephrite. "What was that for?!"
"PREPARE TO DUH!" yelled Zoisite, spawning a crystal.
"Stop!" yelled Nephrite, "It's me! Nephrite!"
"Even better!"
Zoisite swug down the crystal to deliver a fatal blow, but was distracted when a mustached stranger stepped in between and said to stop fighting. He decided he might as well just stab the mustached stranger.
"AWWW OWWW!" yelled Jadeite. "WTF!?"
"Jadeite?!" Nephrite and Zoisite said in unison.
He took off his mustache. The two gasped.
"Owowowowwowo!" Jadeite cried. The wound was not fatal, but it ruined his costume, which was just him with a mustache.
"Who were you supposed to be?" asked Nephrite.
"I'm Jed Ite!" he explained.
"Aren't you my couples' counselor?" Zoisite asked. Jadeite didn't remember.
"COME ON!" Nephrite said, suddenly remembering what they came there for. He ran off to find the stamp.
"Why are you dressed like a girl?" asked Jadeite.
"Can it, bad costume boy."
Zoisite and Jadeite wandered through the nerds, trying to keep up with Nephrite. They were pulled aside suddenly by a 32 year old geek.
"My name's Fred McDoogle! Wanna see my MLP collection?"
"What the hell is MLP?" asked Zoisite.
Fred McDoogle gasped. He slugged Zoisite in the face.
"AWEGJWERHJH!" screamed Zoisite.
Zoisite spawned a crystal, but Fred McDoogle slapped it out of his hand.
"I'll teach you to not know what My Little Pony is!" he declared. "You're going down, missy!"
He threw Zoisite into a wall and started pummeling him.
Jadeite grabbed a chair and smacked Fred over the head, but nothing happened.
"WTF?!" yelled Jadeite. Fred McDoogle turned around a leapt on Jadeite like a wild dog.
He started slapping him with both hands, and then choking Jadeite with the mane of one of his pony dolls.
Zoisite, still stunned, jumped to his feet. "HOW IS THIS NERD SO STRONG!?"
"HALLLP!" yelled Jadeite. Zoisite was still looking in a mirror at the damage caused to his face.
"ARGGHGHH!" Zoisite finally yelled, leaping back into the battle. But suddenly, they were both launched off of Fred McDoogle, as he evolved into a full pony. He stomped his hoof on the ground, splitting the Earth.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GUY!?" Zoisite and Jadeite yelled in unison. They were too wounded to stand. The crack in the ground was getting close to them.
Nephrite looked up from his search. "WAAAHAHAHT?!" he yelled in horror. Just before Zoisite and Jadeite fell into oblivion, Nephrite surged with energy and charged the pony man. He got him by surprise, and pushed him into the void. It closed up, and everyone went back to what they had been doing.
Nephrite helped his friends off the ground.
"We had this under control!" said Zoisite, still shaking.
"Seriously, thought. What was that?!" Jadeite said in shock.
"HAHAHAHAH! I FEEL EVIL!" yelled a familiar voice.
"GRAMPS!" the three shouted in unison.
"Did you like the youma I sent?" Gramps asked them. He was in a Master Roshi costume.
"THAT WAS YOUR YOUMA?!" Nephrite exclaimed in shock. "But how?! And why?!"
"I have quite a few tricks up my sleeve, young lady," Grandpa declared. "And now, the stamp is MINE!" Grandpa began skipping toward the stamp victoriously.
"AFTER HIM!"
They all teleported in front of Gramps. "Hey, what gives?" asked Gramps. "Since when could you guys teleport?"
Nephrite and Zoisite tore off their costumes, and Jadeite tore off his mustache.
"GASP!" gasped Gramps. "You're those faggots!"
"Woah there!" Nephrite said in shock. "The stamp will be ours!"
Gramps ripped off his Master Roshi costume. "HAHAHAHA! I FEEL EVIL!"
"GASP!" gasped the Shitennou.
Nephrite charged Gramps, and they engaged in an all out rumble. They rolled through Comic Con, punching each other and yelling battle cries.
While Nephrite stalled Gramps, Zoisite flew in and grabbed the stamp.
"HAHAHA! The stamp is mine!" he yelled.
Grandpa sensed the stamp had been disturbed, and slugged Nephrite in the gut.
He flew at Zoisite with godspeed, tackling Zoisite. The stamp flew to the floor, and Jadeite slid across the ground and caught it.
"HAHAHAHAH!" yelled Jadeite.
Gramps, who had been holding Zoisite above his head and pounding his chest, dropped him to lunge at Jadeite.
But Zoisite launched an energy blast at him. Without missing a beat, Grandpa turned around and caught the energy blast.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?!" Zoisite shouted in horror.
Grandpa tossed the energy blast back at Zoisite. Zoisite had no time to teleport, so he just put up his hands to block. But it wasn't enough, and he was thrown through the wall and out of the Comic Con building.
Nephrite and Jadite managed to get up and group together ready to double team Gramps. But Gramps had planned this and summoned his two crows at them.
Jadite swung at the one who attacked him but it was fast.
Nephrite managed to swat his out of the air, but was almost imediety sent flying by Gramps who quickly flew up to him and kneed him in the chest.
Zoisite was crawling back inside but was sent tumbling backwards by Nephrite's brutally bashed corpse.
Jadite shot the crow with an energy blast, and then shot ligntning at Gramps but he leaped high into the air and smashed into the ground when he landed sending the Earth upwards where Jadite was standing sending him into the sky. He was flying into the air very fast, but he managed to regain conciousness and was about to warp back down when Grandpa flew up to where he was at the speed up light and delivered a devastating blow downwards sending to the ground. He cringed as he neared the ground, but never hit the ground because he was intersecting by an upcoming plane.
Grandpa landed to the ground unscathed and got ready to finish off the remaining shitennou.
"No more!" pleaded Zoisite "We give up!"
"Too bad!" screamed Gramps and lifted up a damaged Comic con booth and hurled it at Zoisite and Nephrite sending them smashing into a nearby building, before they were then flattened by the booth.
Just then, Jadeite was about to land, but Gramps saw him and uppercut him back into the sky before he ever made contact with the ground.
Satisfied, Grandpa bent down to pick up the stamp. But it was nowhere to be found?!
Zoisite, gasping for breath, crawled over to Gramps, falling over at his feet.
"Let's..." he tried to get out. "Let's... put the stamp in the middle and duel for it!"
"As much as I would love to take you up on your scam," said Gramps, "I don't have the stamp."
"WOT!?"
Upon hearing this news, the three Shitennou passed out in defeat and exhaustion. Jadeite landed head first in a pile of dirt.
Gramps had a heart attack, and Rei dragged him away to the temple to heal him.
Kunzite sat in his castle, admiring his now complete stamp collection.
"That was easy!" he stated. "I thought I'd have to fight someone for it, but it was just laying on the ground!"
"Unguhhunghah," muttered Jadeite, coming to.
He looked around him. To his left and right, he saw Zoisite and Nephrite in full body casts. As was he. At his bedside, he saw Queen Beryl, Kunzite, and Evil Prince Endymion.
"I heard you lost that fight pretty bad," said Beryl.
"uawigwaegwaojigjoiweajaerg," they all moaned.
"Well I just came in to check to make sure you were alive," Queen Beryl explained.
"You care if we're alive?!" they all asked in shock.
"Well, yeah, if someone's going to kill you, it had better me!" Queen Beryl said, teleporting away.
"Awwww!" they all gushed.
"Wait, why am I here again?" asked Evil Mamoru. He warped away, leaving them a bouquet of black roses and a "Get well soon" balloon.
"Well that was a big waste of time," barked Zoisite at Nephrite and Jadeite.
"There, there," said Kunzite, patting him on the head.
"Suck it, Kunzite," said Zoisite.
"In front of everyone?"
"Eww, gross!" said Jadeite.
"Oh wait, you're in a body cast. Nevermind, lol," said Kunzite.
"wegaeorihjeorho!" said Zoisite, spoiled again.
"So what were you fools even trying to do?" Kunzite asked.
"Oh, we were just trying to get this legendary Beryl stamp," said Nephrite.
"Huh," said Kunzite. "That's really something." He looked away, unable to make eye contact.
"But we didn't get it, so it was just a big disappointment," Zoisite explained.
"Nah," said Nephrite. "At first, I wanted this stamp more than anything. But then, I realized something. It's not about the destination, it's about the journey. And I wouldn't have done it without you guys!"
"You ditched us for like half the trip," said Jadeite.
"You're lucky I'm in a body cast," said Zoisite.
"You all ditched me for like a week," said Kunzite.
"You guys are the best!" said Nephrite.
"Shut up, Nephrite," said Zoisite.
Just then, they heard a low murmur.
"I FEEL EVIL!"
All four turned to see Grandpa, sitting in the bed beside them.
"Why are you in here," asked Kunzite, oblivious to what had went down.
"I had heart attack. I need a full heart transplant, but I'm at the bottom of the donor list." Grandpa said sadly.
"LOLOLOLLOLO!" said the Shitennou. "Looks like we win again!"
FIN
