21
The doctor completely shut down our request to leave. I had to stay the rest of the night to make sure nothing happened to me. My mom didn't want to leave my side, but Rafael convinced her to since he didn't plan to leave at all. Physically I was sore, emotionally I was scarred. I didn't even know how to go about getting better, getting through all of this. I have no idea if the shooter was able to be saved. I knew I would find out one way or the other eventually. I watched the news on TV as the sun began to go down. The shooting was on most channels and I watched the after math unfold. Numerous people were being interviewed.
"Twenty-five people were killed and twenty people were wounded yesterday as Marymount student, Hector Morales entered the school's psychology building and opened fire with an automatic assault weapon. Thirteen of the twenty-five were beta students, and the remaining twelve were alphas. Numerous people were sent to the St. Charles Hospital and are still in critical care. Hector Morales, a twenty-four-year-old economics major, had no criminal history or history of violent behavior. After speaking with his parents, Tomas and Helena Morales, it seems an apparent rage from being rejected by his new beta, Tonya Lovington of the Manhattan Lovington's who have numerous and prosperous health business up all over the country. It would appear the rejection through the young alpha into a rage prompting Morales to kill both Tonya and her parents John and Maya Lovington. There is still no word if Morales is still alive. He was also rushed to St. Charles hospital. Many betas and alphas are in heated debate on how this horrible and tragic ordeal could have been avoided."
"This is what happens when an alpha doesn't get their way, they think they can just kill other alphas and betas. Everyone suffers."
"What he did wasn't right, but his beta shouldn't have rejected him. All of this could have been avoided."
"Don't those betas see that what they do effects everyone!"
"These laws are made to protect alphas. When are we betas going to be protected!"
"Doesn't the beta get rights? Why is everything created for the alphas they obviously can't handle rejection and betas should be allowed to reject complete strangers!"
"The laws need to change!"
"Betas need to keep their mouth shut and do what they're told. The world would be a better place. We all have our roles and they should be happy to even have us alphas around."
I cut the TV off and looked down at my lap slowly nodding. Rafael was sitting in a chair beside me, his pointer finger against the side of his head and his middle finger pressed to his lips.
"I agree." he said causing me to look at him. "The laws should be changed so betas have equal right as much as the alphas. This madness will never stop as long as betas keep being oppressed. I mean… they didn't even mention you, not once, that you're the reason why no one else was killed." he said, and I just nodded in agreement and shrugged some.
"It doesn't matter anymore. If it's not an alpha who saved the day then I'm sure it doesn't matter to them now. Maybe we can start by not having titles anymore if we really want change." I replied and he gazed at me as if deep in thought as he listened. "Why can't I just be your girlfriend?" He gave a soft smile leaning forward.
"You are my girlfriend, I mean that's what happens when a man or woman finds the other man or woman they are supposed to be with." he said.
"But not everyone thinks like that… which I understand no one can truly fix in us." I replied and leaned back into the bed sighing some. This hospital was loud still but I expected as much. It would be like this for quite a while. I looked at Rafael noticing he had been here for most of the day and I was sure he hadn't eaten. "You should get something to eat." He shook his head.
"No. I'm fine. I ate back at the office." he said stubbornly. I tilted my head.
"That was hours ago." I replied. He shook his head.
"I'm not leaving you." he stated and I just stared at him for a long moment before nodding.
"Okay." I replied and he just crossed his arms on the side of the bed. His shirt sleeves were unbuttoned, but the shirt itself was still fully buttoned and I glanced at his suspenders. Oh wow, he was wearing suspenders. I couldn't help but gently scoff and slowly laugh some. Rafael looked utterly confused.
"What?" he asked bewildered. I motioned at his chest.
"You're wearing suspenders. I've never seen that before on a man… only on old TV shows." I replied covering my mouth some as I giggled more. He looked down at his body before looking back up at me and playfully pouting.
"Well… it makes me feel very professional." he said sticking his nose up some. I couldn't help but smile some and he smiled down. I lifted my head some.
"Tell me about work. Anything on that… serial killer?" I asked. His bright eyes shifted down some.
"We shouldn't talk about that. We shouldn't talk about any of that." he said and I lifted my head some.
"What else is there to talk about then in this type of situation?" I asked and he shrugged.
"Anything, anything that won't cause stress to you." he said and I shrugged shaking my head slowly.
"What happens now?" I asked. "What happens when we leave this hospital and have to go back into the real world that's growing more and more segregated?" He looked down at my side and let his hand gently slide over the blankets toward my hand and slowly I let my hand meet his. He opened his mouth some.
"Tell me after all our time together what do you feel for me?" he asked. My chest tightened some at his question before I inhaled some thinking of how to speak the truth.
"I do know that I have strong feelings for you, strong enough to learn Spanish for you, strong enough that I wanted to work for your forgiveness for what went down between Billy and I. I don't ever want to see you hurt, and I want nothing more than to watch you win as many cases as you can, and fight for victims who have been hurt by others." I replied. He smiled at my words.
"Then we get back to our lives, even though we both know they have drastically changed after today. We get back to trying to be a couple and building a future together. I know that as my girlfriend, you will be seen as a title to the world. But to me you will be Amara." he said. I nodded at his words. I knew full well when we were out in public with his friends he may call me his beta to avoid any questions or conversations about our status together. But knowing he's not like other alphas made those future title callings worth it. I nodded slowly squeezing his hand lightly.
"I would like that… very much." I replied and he smiled.
"Me too." he replied. In the next hour, I had some soup because that was really all I could stomach. But as the six pm moved into seven pm, I found myself having some mild panic attacks. I spoke to my doctor letting him know I was too afraid to go to sleep on my own because I was afraid of the nightmares I would have. He gave me some medicine that knocked me right out into the next morning. I finally remembered that I didn't have a phone and so Rafael informed me that the school was closed until further notice. I signed into my email on his phone and saw the letter for myself that school was closed. He had brought me some clothes to change in so I could be discharged. I noticed he was in a new suit and jacket, some coffee in his hand.
"Will your bosses be mad you're here and not at work?" I asked as we finally left the hospital room. He shook his head slowly.
"You are my priority right now. I took some vacation time." he replied. I winced.
"But your cases…" I started and he shook his head.
"Are not important. You are." he replied looking down between our bodies and switching hands with his coffee so he could curl his hand in mine. We've never done before, hold hands. I didn't mind it. I finally realized as we moved out through the side of the building that I didn't have my car.
"What'll happen to my car?" I asked.
"One of the detectives were kind enough to go and get it from the school. Luckily student parking wasn't taped off." he said as we walked across the street to a parking lot. I looked back to the front of the hospital to see reporters still there. I sighed and just pulled my hoodie over my head and moved over to Rafael's car. My body was still achy of course and I just leaned back into the seat.
"We'll go get your medicine then we will head home." he said. Yay for sleep and pain meds. I nodded and was just ready to sleep more.
"Did you get my parent's numbers?" I asked and he nodded.
"Texted them and told them already we were headed home. They said they will get you a new phone when they are emotionally stable again from everything that's happened." he said. I nodded slowly and let my mind drift off for a moment. I stopped a shooter. But he had already killed so many people and injured more too. There was no getting over this, that much I knew. School was closed and I'd be cooped up in the house trying to figure out how to live again.
But I guess one thing is for sure, I was just happy to be alive. Was that a selfish thought, being alive when others weren't. Sadie wasn't. What's the point of being an alpha if you can't protect the one thing you are programed to protect and love. Once we were back home, things felt already off and completely backward. My car was in the driveway still brand new and shiny. I didn't even know what I wanted to do right now. I just stood in the hallway looking around and watching Rafael put his coat away. He then looked at me and gave a gentle sigh.
"Why don't I go run you a bath, get you in some comfy clothes and then we can cook- I can make you some real food." he said. I smiled at the thought.
"You make the food. I'll go get cleaned up." I said moving to the stairs, however he slowly side stepped me.
"Um you sure. I don't mind doing it for you." he said. I gave him a gentle look knowing that he was concerned and didn't want to leave me alone due to trauma. I looked at him with a light smile.
"Rafael, I know you are worried for me and I am a little worried about myself too. But I am not suicidal and I don't want to hurt myself. You said yourself you want to get back to our lives and that it will be hard… let me get through the hard. ¿Bueno?" I asked softly giving a warm smile. He nodded slowly.
"Yes mi amor." he said. I moved up to him and gently pressed my lips to his and he responded letting our lips just linger on each other for a while. We both went upstairs and to our rooms. I slid out of my clothes and just stood naked in the bathroom for a bit looking at all the cuts and bruises I had from everyone's feet digging into my body. I just stared at my reflection. I didn't see me I just saw a stranger staring back at me. I saw Hector staring back at me, eyes watering, chest heaving from what looked like pain himself. I pulled my hair up, got in the shower, and let the water just wash over me. It made my body ache some and I just closed my eyes and slowly pressed my back to the shower and cried hard. I made it out, but none of my classmates made it out. Why didn't he kill me, I was a beta and he hated me right!
Too many questions formed in my head now, but I forced myself to push them away and actually shower. I half assed bathing and just wanted to get out before Rafael worried for me too much. I stepped out and dried off. Once I was done I just put lotion on and just lied on my bed staring at the ceiling. I didn't want to get dressed, I didn't want to move. I just wanted to be wrapped in the warmth of my blankets. So I did. I crawled under the soft fleece blanket and comforter atop and just stayed there. I could hear Rafael on the phone for a bit and I took comfort knowing he wasn't too far. I heard his footsteps coming down the hall and my door was cracked so he gently knocked.
"Babe, can I enter?" he asked.
"Yeah." I replied and he opened the door and looked at me with worry.
"Hey… you ready to eat?" he asked. I shook my head not really hungry after crying. He was in a casual t-shirt and sweats which was not a look I had ever seen on him before
"You look very casual." I replied and he gave a quick smile.
"So do you." he said motioning at what I could only assume was my nude chest. I sat up and raised my hand out to him and he just walked over and took my hand and he let me pull him into the bed. He crawled behind me as I turned to let my back push into his chest and with his left arm he wrapped it around my shoulders and chest and with his right, he just rested it above my head so it wouldn't fall asleep under my big head.
"You know I don't blame all alphas for what happened yesterday." I said. He just nuzzled the back of my head in response.
"Good." he said lowly, and I nodded.
"I am also fully aware that betas can be rapists, murders, sadistic people as well. If the bond didn't exist in us, then numerous people would be the same." I replied.
"We wouldn't be together. Maybe I'd see you in passing and think you were cute but too young for me." he said and I nodded.
"I honestly think the same. I don't think we'd ever exist in each other's worlds if I still met you in the police station. I think you would have sent me away and that would have been the end of it. Maybe I would have hated you as a man and not an alpha." I replied and slowly turned to face his soft gaze. He nodded.
"In this very moment, I'd rather you hate me as a free woman than love me as a prisoner." he said lowly. I sighed gently and rested my hand in his palm as he gently palmed the side of my head giving me comfort.
"But I am not a prisoner even after signing that document. My parents… they don't see each other as alpha or beta unless confronted by authority. They are husband and wife." I replied. He nodded, eyes seeming lost as they stared at me.
"Would you want that one day with me? Would you… want to be my wife?" he asked with a hopeful tone. I thought about his question. It felt like a light question, but I knew it was serious. I wanted what my parents have, pure happiness. I didn't know about children, but still I wanted to be happy with someone. I wanted someone to want me for me. Even though Rafael wants me because of genes and instinct, he's still been trying to get to know the real me for the past month. And there's nothing I can do about him being my alpha. I nodded.
"I do. But I want us to be like my parents… not like Alex and Yelina Munoz." I replied and he laughed some and nodded.
"We will not be. That I promise you." he said and I smiled and nodded, my eyes filling with relief. I had to remember that Rafael is just a prisoner in this bond as I was. But he's embraced it full on and not running or hiding from his responsibility of basically being in charge of me. I wondered if he ever got crap from his coworkers about me being involved in the shooting. I inhaled some and slowly sat up. His eyes never left my face not even caring to look at my bare form as it basically was eye to eye with him. That inwardly made me smile.
"Now I am hungry." I said and he nodded and sat up as well.
"What would you like?" he asked.
"What can you cook?" I teased and he grinned.
"So a surprise then." he concluded. I nodded.
"A surprise." I replied and he nodded and got out of bed and I followed moving over to my dresser and pulling out one of my grey gowns. Once I was dressed I joined Rafael in the hallway before smirking.
"I want pasta." I said and he laughed gently.
"What happened to the surprise?" he asked.
"I think I've had enough surprises for one week." I replied.
"Fair enough." he replied and with our hands laced together we moved down the hallway to try and have a normal life again together.
